FabSwingers.com forum: Can you believe the police!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Basically, trying to keep this short, he sent her a text message christmas day saying she was 'dumped' but soon after decided he had made the wrong move and wanted her back, shes told him on no uncertain tearms that shes never going back with him but happy to stay friends

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

Last night she had been out with friends and as he shares the same friends he was there too and again he followed her home and sat outside the house, texting telling her on this occasion if she didnt go out and talk he was going to sit there all night and follow her to work

So i called the police telling them what had happened and stating my concern about him following her to work as she works with children and the last thing anyone wants is him kicking off at her work place infront of kids

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

So i said what about him saying hes going to follow her to work? and i swear the copper said well untill he does hes not actually done anything wrong and i really do not know what you want us to do about it and left leaving the guy outside my house

Got up this morning and sure enough hes still there and ive had to call her dad up to take her to work to make sure he didnt follow her, which obviously he didnt mind but we should have to be doing this

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its a public road and he hasn't threatened her he hasn't done anything the police can caution him about.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?"
After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

I'm not an expert but I believe that the other OP is correct. You could write to the chief constable though for clarification.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so its totally ligal to harras someone and follow them and sit outside there house night after night so long as its on a public road?

i cant believe that

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

He is doing something wrong though.

He is stalking her.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"so its totally ligal to harras someone and follow them and sit outside there house night after night so long as its on a public road?

i cant believe that

"
I didnt say it was legit.....your daughter needs to cut ALL ties with him and keep a record of stuff....its not against the law to sit outside someones house...just playing devils advocate here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?"

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive only read down to the 'what the copper said' bit....

It's harrassment, the ex needs a harassement warning from the local constabulary and then if he continues he can be arrest and placed before the magistrates who should then place a restraining order on him, what he's doing is an offence, i deal with them daily , trust me

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

[Removed by poster at 03/02/12 15:04:22]

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"He is doing something wrong though.

He is stalking her."
Proof?....thats what they will ask for...keep ringing the police everytime..and i mean everytime....then they may act

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Whilst I fully understand your concerns I don't think you will get anywhere with a police complaint as he is just stating the law....which is what he works under.

The lad will probably get fed up soon enough, if he doesn't take out a court injunction....then the police can use the injunction to take action against him if he persists.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so its totally ligal to harras someone and follow them and sit outside there house night after night so long as its on a public road?

i cant believe that

Its not legal but neither illegal as its a public road. Like others have said get her to block him out of the phone. The fact she was out with friends and he was there and she didn't leave immediately would indicate its she is not feeling harassed.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal"
get the mobile company to block his number

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legalget the mobile company to block his number"

Good advice and inform him you are doing this and tell him any attempt to get around this block will be seen as harassment. Then you are starting to get proof which is what the law require.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal"

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from it

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from it"
they wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was stalked by an ex a few years ago, as wrong as it is the police will not do anything until he breaks the law.

I was told by my solicitor to keep a diary of texts, phone calls, incidents etc and to call the police to make sure incidents where logged with them.

kat x x

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By *r n mrs togetherCouple
over a year ago

redruth

we have had similar problems and the phone companies can not block numbers they can change yr daughters number free of charge but not block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was stalked by an ex a few years ago, as wrong as it is the police will not do anything until he breaks the law.

I was told by my solicitor to keep a diary of texts, phone calls, incidents etc and to call the police to make sure incidents where logged with them.

kat x x"

Good advice as its all you can do till he breaks the law.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"The fact she was out with friends and he was there and she didn't leave immediately would indicate its she is not feeling harassed. "

Yes I think she needs to keep away from him, mutual friends or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"The fact she was out with friends and he was there and she didn't leave immediately would indicate its she is not feeling harassed.

Yes I think she needs to keep away from him, mutual friends or not"
Totally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from itthey wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider"

Not all providers are willingly forthcoming without a court order and even then it is hit or miss!

I lost my phone and laptop for over 6 months before CPS dropped a case I was involved in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we have had similar problems and the phone companies can not block numbers they can change yr daughters number free of charge but not block "

They can block a specific number calling or texting you I have had this done twice now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from itthey wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider"

All the evidence is kept on the phone and text, the service provider does not keep the text ( well for evidential purposes they dont)

I know it taking upto and over 6 months to get a phone examined for evidence

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from itthey wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider

All the evidence is kept on the phone and text, the service provider does not keep the text ( well for evidential purposes they dont)

I know it taking upto and over 6 months to get a phone examined for evidence"
Maybe each case is different but in my experience..no forensics were necessary....and the person was prosecuted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from itthey wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider

Not all providers are willingly forthcoming without a court order and even then it is hit or miss!

I lost my phone and laptop for over 6 months before CPS dropped a case I was involved in."

There you go, exactly and the service providers done 'waiver' the monthly charge either, although please dont let this put you off from making a full complaint and gathering the evidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from itthey wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider

All the evidence is kept on the phone and text, the service provider does not keep the text ( well for evidential purposes they dont)

I know it taking upto and over 6 months to get a phone examined for evidence"

By law all text messages and emails have to be retrievable these days. It was introduced in the latest rounds of anti terrorism laws.

In the OP's case its not specific content that is proof but number of calls. If the content was inflammatory the police would have been able to act on it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The fact she was out with friends and he was there and she didn't leave immediately would indicate its she is not feeling harassed.

Yes I think she needs to keep away from him, mutual friends or notTotally

seems very unfair that hes the one being the twat yet shes got to loose all her friends

the whole thing just does not seem right to me

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?"

Take it they came out from b hill nick. Copper was wrong he could have detained him for harressment, behavior likely to cause a public nuisance breaking the telecommunications act loitering with intent to name but a few.

I would probably contact duty officer at nick first and ask the question, if they do nothing ask for it to go up the line of command. Remind them that harassment is now classed as a serious crime. If all that fails get shag to have a pensnett word with him.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing"

It is a disgrace! Police following the laws of the land. Whats the world coming to eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading the post it doesnt surprise me as they only have your word that he is stalking her, get the mobile company to block his number....has he send threatening texts?

its not her word against his as she has saved all his text where shes saying hes not leaving till she goes out plus he was there when the police turned up

i just find it shocking that this kind of behaviour seems totally legal

Just be aware, if the evidence is on your daughter phone she may 'lose' it for a while whilst the evidence is forensically taken from itthey wont need to they can trace texts from phone provider

Not all providers are willingly forthcoming without a court order and even then it is hit or miss!

I lost my phone and laptop for over 6 months before CPS dropped a case I was involved in.

There you go, exactly and the service providers done 'waiver' the monthly charge either, although please dont let this put you off from making a full complaint and gathering the evidence"

Actually my phone provider did give me a break in my contract while I was no longer in possession of the phone.

To the OP... get your daughter to keep a diary of every attempt at contact and gather as much evidence as possible. However all the evidence in the world will be branded useless if she is seen to be willingly in his company.

It is not fair but unfortunately she may have to cut ties with any mutual friends, and if they are true friends they will understand and give her the space and time she needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?

Fine until the officer was told the daughter had spent the evening with him and friends. Would he really want a case of wrongful detention on the first call? No he used his judgement on the facts presented. I am not saying the lad was morally right to hand around but with there are no solid grounds to detain him.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"It is not fair but unfortunately she may have to cut ties with any mutual friends, and if they are true friends they will understand and give her the space and time she needs."

And if they are good friends they will be having a word with him themselves...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is not fair but unfortunately she may have to cut ties with any mutual friends, and if they are true friends they will understand and give her the space and time she needs.

And if they are good friends they will be having a word with him themselves..."

This! Or rather no words at all!!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing

It is a disgrace! Police following the laws of the land. Whats the world coming to eh?"

Staggering...

cant understand why the copper never dragged him out of his car, CS'd him and chucked him into a van..

just in case...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ultimate decision remember comes down to the CPS, although being nicked, thrown in a cell for a few hours, having his phone taken from him for months MAY make him see the light lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact she was out with friends and he was there and she didn't leave immediately would indicate its she is not feeling harassed.

Yes I think she needs to keep away from him, mutual friends or notTotally

seems very unfair that hes the one being the twat yet shes got to loose all her friends

the whole thing just does not seem right to me"

When any couple break up friends have to choose. If she is frightened of him surely friends would be aware and exclude him? Why didn't they, that would be interesting to know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing

It is a disgrace! Police following the laws of the land. Whats the world coming to eh?"

i think its wrong that there seems to be no laws to stop it at this stage

To walk off and leave him outside my house after i have complain about him being there is wrong

i know everyones going to say its upto him where he stands but put yourself in my shoes how would you feel if it was a guy stood outside your home following you daughter everywhere she went, if it was you who had to call your ex up to take her to work because you was scared to let her go alone incase he followed her to work

it just does not seem right to me

by all accounts it is right and ok to do that but it shouldnt be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trying to remember this but it was such a long time. My ex stalked me. This was back in the early 80's. I remember my parents taking me to a solicitor and they sent him a letter out. That did the trick and he left me alone after that.

As I said this was an awful long time ago though

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"The ultimate decision remember comes down to the CPS, although being nicked, thrown in a cell for a few hours, having his phone taken from him for months MAY make him see the light lol"

for being heartbroken..??

by the sound of the OP he has not threatened the daughter, just being a pain in the arse is all..

probably a better idea to speak to his parents and explain he is upsetting the girl..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep a diary of his behaviour. Ask the police to make a note of the situation. Get daughters to tell her friends (That it's over, but happy to be friends with him), get them to help and maybe shame him a little to 'man up' and move on. Ask your daughter to change some of the things she does temporary, i'm sure her friends will understand.

Good luck to you all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing

It is a disgrace! Police following the laws of the land. Whats the world coming to eh?

i think its wrong that there seems to be no laws to stop it at this stage

To walk off and leave him outside my house after i have complain about him being there is wrong

it just does not seem right to me

by all accounts it is right and ok to do that but it shouldnt be"

You know the easy answer dont you?

Well its this.....

Get your daughter to get a bigger new boyfriend and he might just decide he wants to to keep his skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New mobile number may help and watch out on facebook too, the ex's best friend lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know the easy answer dont you?

Well its this.....

Get your daughter to get a bigger new boyfriend and he might just decide he wants to to keep his skin.

i dont want it to get violent tho, i could go out and give him a slap myself

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?

A tap on the window would have done it with the may I ask why you are sat there sir, can we have a look around your vechile please. Policing is not just about arresting but good policing is about prevention and common sense. The copper could have used the fifteen minute rule on him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know the easy answer dont you?

Well its this.....

Get your daughter to get a bigger new boyfriend and he might just decide he wants to to keep his skin.

i dont want it to get violent tho, i could go out and give him a slap myself

No I am not condoning violence I am saying if she gets a new boyfriend who looks like he will take offence the old one might disappear knowing he has been replaced.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"i dont want it to get violent tho, i could go out and give him a slap myself

then you would probably get nicked..

have you spoken to his parents?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing

It is a disgrace! Police following the laws of the land. Whats the world coming to eh?"

and, as the old saying goes, the law is an ass.

nothing stopping the copper having a word with the gentleman in question and telling him to stay away from the young ladies place of residence and work, is there???

we all know who would end up in knick if OP's ex had a word with his daughters ex himself, dont we!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick....if that doesn't work an application to a court will be the obvious next step....give the police something to work with.

Hope it works out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?

That's a huge difference from detaining him as suggested earlier. A quiet word though wouldn't have gone amiss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as has already been said, the police have their hands tied through legislations, human rights and the law! they probably understand your concerns but are powerless to do anything as the "ex" would then have justification to place a formal complaint against them. this is proof of how human rights can be used to do harm!!! this guy is obviously causing some distress. i know that they have the power to give the guy a warning to stay away if this continues on a daily basis....but it means you making a complaint to the police everytime it happens. or just get some guy to go and scare him away (however, i do not condone violence lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Hope it works out."

Very good advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

can i just say that this following her and texting her constantly and turning up outside my house has been happening on a weekely basis since they split up, he just turns up and sits there for hours even when he hasnt seen her, or he waits outside work for her and follows her home and just sits there, some nights i've had to go out at 5am and tell him to leave because hes still been there, last night was just the last straw, this isnt because he had spent a night in her company he does it anyway, so even if she does cut off ties from her frineds he does it anyway wether hes seen her or not. just after xmas she went away for a week and obviously didnt tell him and he still came and sat outside the house even tho she wasnt here and he hadnt pysically seen her for day, so going out and spending a night with mutual friends is a lame excuse in my opinion that was just a one off

I think the top and bottom of it is the police just cant be arsed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact she was out with friends and he was there and she didn't leave immediately would indicate its she is not feeling harassed.

Yes I think she needs to keep away from him, mutual friends or not"
perfectly agree x

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By *pple16Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

tell his parents he is causing problems and is liable to get into further trouble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"can i just say that this following her and texting her constantly and turning up outside my house has been happening on a weekely basis since they split up, he just turns up and sits there for hours even when he hasnt seen her, or he waits outside work for her and follows her home and just sits there, some nights i've had to go out at 5am and tell him to leave because hes still been there, last night was just the last straw, this isnt because he had spent a night in her company he does it anyway, so even if she does cut off ties from her frineds he does it anyway wether hes seen her or not. just after xmas she went away for a week and obviously didnt tell him and he still came and sat outside the house even tho she wasnt here and he hadnt pysically seen her for day, so going out and spending a night with mutual friends is a lame excuse in my opinion that was just a one off

I think the top and bottom of it is the police just cant be arsed"

Unfortunately if all he is doing is sitting outside your house... not threatening or abusing your daughter their is very little the police can do.

No it's not fair and does not seem right... but be thankful he isn't being worse in his behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick.."

hes 26 years old !!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick..

hes 26 years old !!

So have they stopped being his parents?

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By *pple16Man
over a year ago

Macclesfield

sounds like he might not see 27!!!!! if u know what i mean.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick..

hes 26 years old !!

So have they stopped being his parents?"

no but hes an adult who lives alone i hardly think hes going to give me his mums address so i can go tell her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number of things you can do which don't involve the police.

Contact the boys parents though a lot of parents nowdays don't care.

If your daughter goes out with friends and he tags along, she needs to walk away, tell those friends what he is doing so his made to feel comfortable around them esp if they like her more than him.

Your daughter to get any of her male friends to walk her home, make the boy think she might be dating someone new. He might give up then seeing shes happy with someone else or might make him do something to get the police involved.

Put some anti climb paint on that public wall where he waits, even though its a public wall.

Call the A-team.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick..

hes 26 years old !!

So have they stopped being his parents?

no but hes an adult who lives alone i hardly think hes going to give me his mums address so i can go tell her!"

Then visit a solicitor and take out an injunction....takes days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the top and bottom of it is the police just cant be arsed"

Its not a matter of being arsed as you put it you need to provide stronger evidence. Truth be told being arsed would have had him bled out of her phone and not going out with mutual friends knowing he would be there.

He will see to very differently to you. Your daughter needs to break all contact as others have said. Blaming the police on this occasion isn't really fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry Uncomfortable ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick..

hes 26 years old !!

So have they stopped being his parents?

no but hes an adult who lives alone i hardly think hes going to give me his mums address so i can go tell her!

Then visit a solicitor and take out an injunction....takes days"

Then visit a solicitor and take out an injunction....takes days

And many ££££'s

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick..

hes 26 years old !!

So have they stopped being his parents?

no but hes an adult who lives alone i hardly think hes going to give me his mums address so i can go tell her!

Then visit a solicitor and take out an injunction....takes days

And many ££££'s"

If it is enough of a worry then a few quid won't matter will it?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

From the network for suriving staking..

Stalking ruins lives and can lead to rape and murder. But it starts with ‘petty or trivial” incidents - for example repeatedly being sent texts or emails, phone calls, being followed or sent unwanted ’presents’. Many don’t realise what’s happening and ignore the problem and hope it goes away. If you or someone you know is experiencing ‘obsessive’ behaviour from another person, take it seriously. Trust your instinct. It could save your life.

Thing is you dont know if he will stop or not...i am sending you the link to this site as they have lots good advice. Including how to get the police to help according to current ACPO guidelines.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think the top and bottom of it is the police just cant be arsed

He will see to very differently to you. Your daughter needs to break all contact as others have said. Blaming the police on this occasion isn't really fair. "

But the night out with friends while he was there is just one occasion, he follows her anyway, he sits outside my house anyway, hes been doing this since xmas regular and only on one occasion has she been out the same time as him every other times hes just turned up

Funny how everyone just focuses one the one occasion she went out and he was there and all of a sudden shes in the wrong

like i said, you live and learn

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really feel for the Op, because as a mother she will want to do everything and anything to protect her daughter.

But I'm not sure a month constitutes stalking or harrassment, sounds more like a lovesick boy to me.

Maybe contacting the boys parent/s and expressing how worried the Op is might do the trick..

hes 26 years old !!

So have they stopped being his parents?

no but hes an adult who lives alone i hardly think hes going to give me his mums address so i can go tell her!

Then visit a solicitor and take out an injunction....takes days

And many ££££'s

If it is enough of a worry then a few quid won't matter will it?"

no money does not matter, i just honestly though this kind of behaviour was not legal, seeing as i know know it is i will be taking further steps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In order for this to bare weight with the police your daughter has to be seen to be taking steps to avoid all contact with the guy in question. This will include having her number changed if he continually texts. Not being in his company at any time (mutual friends or public included). And while she states she wants to perhaps keep up the friendship.. this is not going to be possible.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Really hope it works out for you, maybe telling the lad you are visiting a solicitor the next day to take out an injunction will scare him enough....

Good luck, it must be a worry for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I have pm'd you with what little advice I can give you. I was stalked/harassed by my ex husband for a long time and your what he is doing is illegal.

Sorry this thread has taken such a negative turn for you

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !

Nor sure if this was mentioned above as I'm not good with legal jargon....

... but is a conviction needed in the UK before a restraining order can be issued ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has he done anything above sitting there? It doesn't sound like he's actually a threat and if he has spent hours in your daughter's company (amongst friends) I can see why the Police reacted as they did.

Surely he will get tired of it wont he?

If he doesn't I'd take photos of him out there, document the harassment and seek legal advice.

Best of luck with it as he sounds slightly obsessed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would suggest you keep a record of every phone call and every incident where he tries to get in contact. unless you have all that there is nothing! i went there and it worked x

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?

There is also police harrasment /wrongful arrest etc so the police have to be careful until there is some evidence of wrongdoing - is there a definition of stalking.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"We have been having some problems with my daughters ex boyfriend so i ended up calling the old bill out last night

Now hes not seeming to accept this and is calling and texting her constantly and sits outside the house for hours on end telling her hes not leaving till she goes out and talks to him

Ive been out and told him to leave several times and to be fair when i go out he does go but hes back again the next night

So they sent a copper out and his responce was

What do you want us to do about it hes not actually done anything wrong

i said are you kidding hes stalking her and the copper said to my daughter but you've been out wth him tonight if you dont want to see him dont go out with him your sending him mixed signals

my daughter said that she hadnt been out with him as such but that they share the same group of frinds and she went out and he was just there and he followed her home

So the copper said in that case she should have just left when she saw him so he knew where he stood

im stood there thinking WTF you cant be serious

In still in shock at the coppers attitude to be honest and seriously considering making a complaint about him

Does anyone know how you go about making a complaint against the police?

There is also police harrasment /wrongful arrest etc so the police have to be careful until there is some evidence of wrongdoing - is there a definition of stalking."

Unwanted and prolonged non reciprocated attention that cause Un due stress or discomfort to a person by communication in person by post ,electronic or telecommunication can be classed as stalking.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"Has he done anything above sitting there? It doesn't sound like he's actually a threat and if he has spent hours in your daughter's company (amongst friends) I can see why the Police reacted as they did.

Surely he will get tired of it wont he?

If he doesn't I'd take photos of him out there, document the harassment and seek legal advice.

Best of luck with it as he sounds slightly obsessed."

That is how large problems start with the sitting and watching

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

hi NN...

i honestly don't know what the answer to your problem is, having never been in a situation like yours....

all i can do is offer my sincerest sympathy's to you and your daughter and hope it sorts its self out amicably

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"unfortunately it seems with the police that until she is found in a bush soewhere they arent bloody interested.

its a fcuking disgrace!!!!! but thats modern policing"
He hasnt broken any laws so the police are not able to take any action - the advice that has been given is good advice, keep away from him as best you can, make a note of threats of any nature and a diary of events etc and get your daughter to change her mobile number and good luck - I do understand the frustrations of this - also be aware that he might only get a caution if he does break the law which wont stop him either - sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this drama with my ex a few years back and they told me that 3 or more unwanted contacts is classed as harrassment under the relevant legislation. I dealth with a number of different coppers in my case and one of them had the same attitude - it's not like he's stabbed you what do you expect? His Sgt was less than happy with this response.

I would complain about him, locally at this point - don't worry about the ICC etc they'll ask you what you've done locally. You have a right to be taken seriously, they would prefer to nip this in the bud before it becomes really nasty.

In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Government defines domestic violence as

"Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality."

Him being outside, stalking your daughter could be classed as emotional abuse. Even if the cop could do nothing, it should still have been recorded as such.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her to get a new b/f and make sure he's bigger than the ex. Then if he continues stalking her the new b/f can sort him out. Job done.

Seriously though, he's not broken the law although it appears to you he's harassing her. If she feels so uncomfortable with him around, the next time friends ask her to go out she should make it clear that she cannot face the prospect of seeing him again and then explain why. Decline the night out and see how much support she has from her circle of friends.

He made find himself ostracised from his mates and that could be the edge you need to get him to think about what he's doing.

Personally, if it was my daughter he was stalking, I'd drop him in the North Sea with some concrete wellies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has broken the law if she's made it clear she doesn't want him to contact her - my ex received a caution for similar behaviour.

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"He is doing something wrong though.

He is stalking her."

Really?

I'm not sure PC Plod doing the rounds in his bread van is equipped to make that decision on someone's say so.

There's a possible offence of causing harassment alarm and distress, but I'm not sure it's made out on the facts.

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"I had this drama with my ex a few years back and they told me that 3 or more unwanted contacts is classed as harrassment under the relevant legislation. I dealth with a number of different coppers in my case and one of them had the same attitude - it's not like he's stabbed you what do you expect? His Sgt was less than happy with this response.

In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice. "

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

may not have been bulying.

may have simply been embrassement after having his irrational behaviour pointed out to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I believe our police...

I read the OP and a few of the replies...

You have kept records for evidence... Try mentioning that you have and that if it doesnt stop you will file for a restraining order which will go on a criminal record... That may be enough...

If not, then file and destroy his future... Some people ask for it...

Good luck...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as has been said previously the police operate under the law......and we all know that the law can be an ass at times.

the guy sounds a knob for what he is doing and in all honesty cutting all ties is best....any friend of your daughter who is a true friend would also be cutting ties with this guy too......surely there must be a few males amongst the peer group who are mutual friends who can take him to the side and er....point out the consequences if he doesnt get his act together??

anyone who dumps you on xmas day is a tosser and the "lets just be friends" routine just wouldnt have been my way

i hope your daughter is ok and that it resolves itself without futher aggro

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

someone needs to have a word with this kid. doesnt have to get ugly but needs tellin in no uncertain terms to back off

if its scaring her and you i`d think about having an uncle or the dad have a word in his ear - if they have it in them to be stern but not go OTT

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"may not have been bulying.

may have simply been embrassement after having his irrational behaviour pointed out to him."

Might be. Nevertheless the interview should cease until the interviewee has recovered his composure. It is never permissible for the police to treat people in this way, or you risk legitimizing the kind of police behaviour that so appalled the court of appeal in the original Lynette White case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry."

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied. "

I bow to your greater knowledge of the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

I bow to your greater knowledge of the case."

Thanks - after all, I was involved :D

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

I bow to your greater knowledge of the case.

Thanks - after all, I was involved :D"
Indeed, and I can't be bothered arguing about basic human rights with someone so closely involved to a case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

I bow to your greater knowledge of the case.

Thanks - after all, I was involved :DIndeed, and I can't be bothered arguing about basic human rights with someone so closely involved to a case."

Ah, so what you're saying is - you're right but you don't want to argue.

You're not always right - I have a lot more information about it and having worked for the police I'm well aware of what should and shouldn't happen and know that correct interview protocol was followed in this case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

I bow to your greater knowledge of the case.

Thanks - after all, I was involved :DIndeed, and I can't be bothered arguing about basic human rights with someone so closely involved to a case."

People cry in interviews all the time - it's the shock of being caught out, a ploy, embarrassment, realisation of what they've done...all sorts. It's not all about police brutality.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied. "

Did you see him cry as he was being interviewed or did the 2 female police officers big themselves up by telling you "they made him cry"? (both wrong things for the officers to have done)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

Did you see him cry as he was being interviewed or did the 2 female police officers big themselves up by telling you "they made him cry"? (both wrong things for the officers to have done)

They told me - obviously I'd not have been present at the interview. But they didn't do it in a hey guess what we made him cry. They explained to me that they thought he'd not be a further problem as he demonstrated remorse during the interview on hearing what he had done listed. So it was cool, calm and collected not some "wooo guess what we did man" type incident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Head - bang - wall. He'll keep going until he feels he's scored a technical victory.

Or maybe all policewomen are really tattooed feminists with pernament PMT eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/12 10:43:29]

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

Did you see him cry as he was being interviewed or did the 2 female police officers big themselves up by telling you "they made him cry"? (both wrong things for the officers to have done)

so they didnt tell you he was crying then - did you make that bit up to embelish your story

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By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

I bow to your greater knowledge of the case.

Thanks - after all, I was involved :DIndeed, and I can't be bothered arguing about basic human rights with someone so closely involved to a case.

People cry in interviews all the time - it's the shock of being caught out, a ploy, embarrassment, realisation of what they've done...all sorts. It's not all about police brutality. "

I didn't mention police brutality.

It's a basic tenet of safe interviewing that the person should be given a chance to recover if they're upset.

I know people lie, and fake disturbance, and pretend to be upset, and a hundred other things. I also know that a police officer making assumptions about that is as dangerous as a police officer assuming a woman complaining about harassment is a daft tart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but you said it was caused by the bullying of the officers involved and you brought up human rights, they're in the same area. You also made an assumption that he wasn't given time to recover - on the back of me merely mentioned that he had cried. My previous post was to point out that crying doesn't only happen because of bullying but is a frequent occurance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In the end I had 2 female coppers who made my ex cry during his uncomfortable PACE interview. Always remember them they were ace :D PM me if you need any advice.

I hope someonem amde a complaint about the bullying by the female police officers - it is never lawful for police officers to make an interviewee cry.

He cried because he was in trouble and knew he could be charged, not because he was bullied.

Did you see him cry as he was being interviewed or did the 2 female police officers big themselves up by telling you "they made him cry"? (both wrong things for the officers to have done)

so they didnt tell you he was crying then - did you make that bit up to embelish your story "

No....read it again more carefully - they told me he showed remorse BY CRYING.

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By *araidWoman
over a year ago

the west (ish)

Shove a dead fish up his exhaust, smear some yeughy stuff over his windows, (not the windscreen, we dont want to kill him off here, just have a bit of fun)then take a pic and laugh at him. He'll slink off with his tail between his legs, wondering why his car smells like a fish farm graveyard.

hehee.

Alternatively,Let the law take 6 months to read a young girls phone messages and hope the procurator fiscal finds it worthwhile taking him to court.

First scenario - he gets a red neck and learns a lesson fast - 2nd scenario, he gets a criminal record and is branded a potential sex offender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure she does NOT answer his texts. It is illegal to harass someone by text but she must NOT be seen to have provoked replies by answering.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 04/02/12 11:22:49]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

All I can say Naughty is...I am guessing a lot of posters would be as worried as you are if they were in the same position with their children or even god forbid themselves.

We hear on the forums of people saying they are stalked by E-mails and they get really upset over it....this is real life so makes it a hundred times worse for me

Now although the police were no doubt right in what he was saying regarding the law, he could well have had a quiet word with the man sat in a car, sitting for hours in a car ( I think you said to 5 o'clock in the morning once? ) as that isn't normal. Even if it wasn't connected to your daughter, it would seem strange for anyone to do this, surely the police can ask questions.

On the subject of stalking and the law, I think they can't do anything until the stalker does something...and without trying to scare you but it has been known of stalkers actually breaking the law and...well I think you can guess without me spelling it out...so I personally think the law is an an ass on this one.

But to your daughter...I would stay away from my friends if he is going to be there, change my number, ignore him sat outside as if he doesn't exist....even go as far as paying a few bob for a solicitors letter to be sent to tell him to back off.

The only saving grace is, at least she doesn't live alone and has a good mum and dad watching out for her.

You must be worried sick xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OMG who dragged this thread back up lol

Well just to update i have been to the CAB and asked them for advice on who i should see, i have been told under no uncertain terms hes is breaking the law and they have put me onto someone who specifically deal with this type of problem, because he is actively seeking out where she is and turning up and following her and because she has already changed her number once and hes managed to get hold of it again, im assuming via a mutual friend, and because he is constantly texting and calling and waiting for her outside her place of work it is classed as harrasment, ive been told that just because its a public road that does not give him the rights to sit outside my house for hours on end watching the house and texting and calling till the early hours

They said its more likely the police see it as a silly donestic and dont want to get involved as to why they have shown little intested in it, by all accounts they have many women complaning about the very same thing, the police just arnt interested in relationship break ups, till someone get hurt they dont want to get involved

I knew it couldnt be right and im like a rottweiler when i get my teeth into something.....i just wont let go lol

So hopefully a few formal letters from the right people will sort it out now, if not i'll be taking it further

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"OMG who dragged this thread back up lol

I knew it couldnt be right and im like a rottweiler when i get my teeth into something.....i just wont let go lol

So hopefully a few formal letters from the right people will sort it out now, if not i'll be taking it further

Let him sit outside tonight be brass monkey's let the bugger freeze

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont wanna be the voice of gloom op but i bet leters wouldnt do any thing so prety much ide be takeing things further now rather than later our police do a fine job lets face facts we al live in a shite hole but us as voteing humans have put this country on its knees so think we should al help put it bak on its feet i fully understand the fear ureself and ure daughter feel but ignore the ideot get ure daughter to explain the situation at her employment so there forewarned if the baby kikks of etc etc hes acting like a child so in my opinion ide treat him like one theres one winner ure daughter good luk hunn i meen that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the fine line rubbish....

The police dont tend to do anything unless he actualy breaks the law then you have to have witnesess or evidence.

It also makes a differnce on if the policeman that gets called out can be botherd to do anything.

There is a staulking law but its that thin line again xxxx

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

her dad needs to kick him in the nuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Down this way.. u phone "the boys"

u can guess the rest!

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