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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() I'm starving | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() I'm just about to grab some cereal. You want some? | |||
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"Body disposal? How do I go about it? ![]() Cheers Next? Where do I order pigs from? ![]() | |||
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"Body disposal? How do I go about it? ![]() ![]() pig farm apparently ![]() | |||
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"Body disposal? How do I go about it? ![]() ![]() Old McDonald. | |||
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"Body disposal? How do I go about it? ![]() ![]() ![]() Cheers!! ![]() | |||
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"I have circa 99, and a stitch is one... Just arrived at the office following an early morning run." Apparently giving it a good poke helps. | |||
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"Geography. Geography is a problem for me right now " I feel ya! I'm working on a teleported. I'll let you know when it's done! | |||
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"Geography. Geography is a problem for me right now I feel ya! I'm working on a teleported. I'll let you know when it's done! " Make it snappy! | |||
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"Any advice for a job interview today" Just wear a bow tie. Nothing else. And cross your fingers it's a woman interviewing. Or a bi or gay man. | |||
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"Any advice for a job interview today" If you're going to wear a blazer, jumper, shirt combo - tuck both shirt collars in. | |||
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"I wouldn't want to burden you. Can I just lick you instead?" Yes. Yes you can. ![]() | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() no thankyou can I have 3 bacon medallions on 3 buttered baps and oodles of coffee please | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() could you point me in the direction of of hotwife who'd enjoy me dating them? ![]() | |||
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"I wouldn't want to burden you. Can I just lick you instead? Yes. Yes you can. ![]() Then I have no problem ![]() | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() No. Because they're rolls not baps! If you can't call them by their right name you can't have any. Now you can have the crap cereal or nothing! | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() Or barms ![]() | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() ![]() That way ^^^ | |||
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"I wouldn't want to burden you. Can I just lick you instead? Yes. Yes you can. ![]() ![]() It's ok. I was gonna lick you back anyway ![]() | |||
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"Body disposal? How do I go about it? ![]() Strong alkali. Doesn't leave a scummy residue like acid. | |||
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"I wouldn't want to burden you. Can I just lick you instead? Yes. Yes you can. ![]() ![]() ![]() You are good to me | |||
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"I have a bad back today " Me too! ![]() | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() ![]() **waves frantically** ![]() | |||
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"Can you take me underwear shopping? X" Yes! But we have to share a fitting room ![]() | |||
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"I have a bad back today " Oh no! Will a massage help? | |||
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"Strangers keep asking me for things "Spare change?" "Have you got the time?" "What steps would you take in a fire?" (Apparently giant ones wasnt the right answer) "Can you loosen these cuffs?" "Where am I?" Its tiring x ![]() What do you want me to do? | |||
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"Strangers keep asking me for things "Spare change?" "Have you got the time?" "What steps would you take in a fire?" (Apparently giant ones wasnt the right answer) "Can you loosen these cuffs?" "Where am I?" Its tiring x ![]() Aaaaarrrgggghhhhhhhhhhh another one!!! Lol | |||
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"Strangers keep asking me for things "Spare change?" "Have you got the time?" "What steps would you take in a fire?" (Apparently giant ones wasnt the right answer) "Can you loosen these cuffs?" "Where am I?" Its tiring x ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() Go for a haircut with a busty hairdresser. Mine is always brushing her boobs against me. | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() Sadly the ones who used to do that at my usual have moved ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() ![]() ![]() Opticians? They do it too! | |||
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"Wait... Wait.... Wait...... I've been telling yo my problems for around two years and..... ....HELP???? (she just wants a quick giggle and ammunition to beat you down with at a future date guys, don't trust her.....) " If you had taken my advice at the start then it wouldn't have been 2 years of problems ya big drama llama!!! | |||
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"I've just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant with my baby. How do I break the news to my wife???" Just move them in and pretend they always lived there. Your house is a commune. Just stick to it, your wife may doubt her sanity but you get to keep your balls ![]() | |||
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"Wait... Wait.... Wait...... I've been telling yo my problems for around two years and..... ....HELP???? (she just wants a quick giggle and ammunition to beat you down with at a future date guys, don't trust her.....) If you had taken my advice at the start then it wouldn't have been 2 years of problems ya big drama llama!!!" Tru dat, but you could have just sympathy fucked me out of my cycle..... | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() ![]() ![]() Really? That’s news to me. But then again mine have usually been male. | |||
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"Wait... Wait.... Wait...... I've been telling yo my problems for around two years and..... ....HELP???? (she just wants a quick giggle and ammunition to beat you down with at a future date guys, don't trust her.....) If you had taken my advice at the start then it wouldn't have been 2 years of problems ya big drama llama!!! Tru dat, but you could have just sympathy fucked me out of my cycle..... " Oh well. Too late now ![]() | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() ![]() ![]() Mine too ![]() | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() I want to punch every politician in the fucking face !! Can you help ?? ![]() | |||
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"Wait... Wait.... Wait...... I've been telling yo my problems for around two years and..... ....HELP???? (she just wants a quick giggle and ammunition to beat you down with at a future date guys, don't trust her.....) If you had taken my advice at the start then it wouldn't have been 2 years of problems ya big drama llama!!! Tru dat, but you could have just sympathy fucked me out of my cycle..... Oh well. Too late now ![]() NEVER too late..... (one day.....) | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() ![]() Yes! My dad taught me how to punch but I've never actually done it! | |||
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"Wait... Wait.... Wait...... I've been telling yo my problems for around two years and..... ....HELP???? (she just wants a quick giggle and ammunition to beat you down with at a future date guys, don't trust her.....) If you had taken my advice at the start then it wouldn't have been 2 years of problems ya big drama llama!!! Tru dat, but you could have just sympathy fucked me out of my cycle..... Oh well. Too late now ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Wait... Wait.... Wait...... I've been telling yo my problems for around two years and..... ....HELP???? (she just wants a quick giggle and ammunition to beat you down with at a future date guys, don't trust her.....) If you had taken my advice at the start then it wouldn't have been 2 years of problems ya big drama llama!!! Tru dat, but you could have just sympathy fucked me out of my cycle..... Oh well. Too late now ![]() ![]() Stop flirting!!! ![]() | |||
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"How do I mast you ??? Uuhmmm......I don't know ![]() That’s not to good now we do have a problem | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() ![]() Ok . Then can you drive a huge JCB through the Commons please ![]() | |||
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"How do I mast you ??? Uuhmmm......I don't know ![]() I mean I don't understand the question. | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() ![]() ![]() Can I scoop people up in the scoop? | |||
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"How do I mast you ??? Uuhmmm......I don't know ![]() Ok meet you in stead lol | |||
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"Body disposal? How do I go about it? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Pigs won't consume the body fast enough and they will leave most of the larger bones. Best way, chop it up into smaller pieces, wrap it in many layers of strong plastic ans duct tape, dump it down an abandoned mine, out in the middle of nowhere..crime shows teach you stuff... | |||
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"I've just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant with my baby. How do I break the news to my wife???" Tell her how lucky she is to be getting rid of you... | |||
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"Go on! Tell me your problems, I will try to help ![]() ![]() ![]() Yep . And dump them all somewhere where nobody will ever find them . And we can all start again ![]() | |||
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"I've just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant with my baby. How do I break the news to my wife??? Just move them in and pretend they always lived there. Your house is a commune. Just stick to it, your wife may doubt her sanity but you get to keep your balls ![]() Good plan ![]() | |||
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"I want a fella to wake up with in the mornings, but I will throttle him in his sleep if he snores ![]() Get him doing shifts. Be there at night for the shagging and drifting off then he goes home and comes back just before you wake! | |||
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"My iPhone is poorly sick and I'll be without it until Friday. Android is the biggest pile of rubbish I've ever come across. It reminds me of the days of dial up Internet it's so inferior ![]() ![]() Have a technology break! Just chill out and don't look at any until friday! | |||
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"How do I mast you ??? Uuhmmm......I don't know ![]() Well I'm going to IKEA shortly. You could maybe bump into me there? | |||
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"I have a supporating itchy anus, please advise!" Leeches. | |||
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"I have a supporating itchy anus, please advise!" I guess some humour is too black! | |||
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"I've just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant with my baby. How do I break the news to my wife??? Just move them in and pretend they always lived there. Your house is a commune. Just stick to it, your wife may doubt her sanity but you get to keep your balls ![]() ![]() I'd probably wait til after the birth. | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() The question is was the bulge high or low? And did he thrust it aggressively or gently tease you with it? ![]() | |||
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"My iPhone is poorly sick and I'll be without it until Friday. Android is the biggest pile of rubbish I've ever come across. It reminds me of the days of dial up Internet it's so inferior ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() High ![]() | |||
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"I have a supporating itchy anus, please advise! I guess some humour is too black!" I said leeches! | |||
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"How do I mast you ??? Uuhmmm......I don't know ![]() Shame I am down in Newcastle just now | |||
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"I’m feeling strange today. I think I’m lacking some boobs to the face. That is sure to make me smile ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() With his penis! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"When does Poldark come back on TV? " some time this year. | |||
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"Have you got anything that will dissolve bone and gristle but leave bath enamel untouched " Lye. According to google. If my search history gets out I'm screwed. | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() I have none. Well nothing significant right now anyway ![]() | |||
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"Dear Auntie Rubes: When I wake up in the mornings I always seem to find myself suffering from a most disconcerting case of extreme rigidity centring around my loin region. Is this normal? What should I do? Does this mean that I am a closet communist or something? " It's ok that's just your flagpole signaling the start of the day! You should get a bugle and join in. I could make you a flag to fly from it? | |||
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"Dear Auntie Rubes: When I wake up in the mornings I always seem to find myself suffering from a most disconcerting case of extreme rigidity centring around my loin region. Is this normal? What should I do? Does this mean that I am a closet communist or something? It's ok that's just your flagpole signaling the start of the day! You should get a bugle and join in. I could make you a flag to fly from it? " How about a Jolly Roger? *wink, nudge, subsequent vulgar laugh* ![]() | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() Do you think anyone with the right mind would want to discuss their significant problems in an open forum ![]() | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() ![]() i do often | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() ![]() Your obviously not in the right mind then ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() better out than in were all strangers and a lot less judgmental than most people in real world | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Good point ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() chicken ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I don't have any problems but you can shares yours with me... Pm box is always open ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It taste good when cooked properly ![]() | |||
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"When I say I want a divorce and have to move out of the house the next day, how can I afford to live close enough to the children?" Buy a tent and pitch it in the garden? | |||
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"I need to be at least 32% more interesting and 67% more attractive, how can I achieve this with only one low monthly payment? " Paper bag. People can't see your face so will assume you are beautiful. Also they will wonder why you have a bag on your head thus making you more interesting. | |||
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"Problem found... My chicken had the wrong marination and I don't want to eat it now ![]() Go to Tesco. Buy more chicken. | |||
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"Problem found... My chicken had the wrong marination and I don't want to eat it now ![]() I didn't cook this myself ... and they put the wrong pieces in ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Problem found... My chicken had the wrong marination and I don't want to eat it now ![]() ![]() ![]() Go to Tesco. Buy chicken. Cook it yourself. | |||
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"Is a problem doubled ![]() ![]() Talking about Doubles. I have a problem with your Avatar. I can’t blow it up in high definition ![]() | |||
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"Problem found... My chicken had the wrong marination and I don't want to eat it now ![]() ![]() ![]() I am not happy with your remedy.. which leaves me with an even bigger problem ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Is a problem doubled ![]() ![]() ![]() Be a good boy all year then ask Santa for a printed canvas ![]() | |||
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"Went out for a fun ride cause i couldnt sleep now my back is killing me and making it impossible to sleep. Not sure if i should call in sick tonight and just lay in bed hoping it lasses" Do you have a physical job that might make it worse? | |||
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"Went out for a fun ride cause i couldnt sleep now my back is killing me and making it impossible to sleep. Not sure if i should call in sick tonight and just lay in bed hoping it lasses Do you have a physical job that might make it worse? " Yes my job is a large part of why i have a bad back as it is. All my work is either above my head or involves climbing up into confined spaces and then dragging myself through them on my back. | |||
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"Is a problem doubled ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() With you around - zero chance of me being good ![]() | |||
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"Went out for a fun ride cause i couldnt sleep now my back is killing me and making it impossible to sleep. Not sure if i should call in sick tonight and just lay in bed hoping it lasses Do you have a physical job that might make it worse? Yes my job is a large part of why i have a bad back as it is. All my work is either above my head or involves climbing up into confined spaces and then dragging myself through them on my back. " You should phone in sick. Want me to do it? I could pretend to be your mum? | |||
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"Is a problem doubled ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Is a problem doubled ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - sinners are much more fun ![]() | |||
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"I am lactose intolerant but can't stay away from cheesecake, cheese or ice cream. It tastes so nice!!! X" Uuhhmm......maybe get some adult nappies? ![]() | |||
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"I am lactose intolerant but can't stay away from cheesecake, cheese or ice cream. It tastes so nice!!! X Uuhhmm......maybe get some adult nappies? ![]() Hahaha and cover my arse up? It's my best feature x | |||
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"I am lactose intolerant but can't stay away from cheesecake, cheese or ice cream. It tastes so nice!!! X Uuhhmm......maybe get some adult nappies? ![]() Only eat those things on days you will be staying at home! ![]() | |||
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"I am lactose intolerant but can't stay away from cheesecake, cheese or ice cream. It tastes so nice!!! X Uuhhmm......maybe get some adult nappies? ![]() It is a very good feature!!!! Stay away from the sugars in dairy!!! | |||
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"I am lactose intolerant but can't stay away from cheesecake, cheese or ice cream. It tastes so nice!!! X Uuhhmm......maybe get some adult nappies? ![]() ![]() Good plan. It's what I try to do x | |||
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"Problem found... My chicken had the wrong marination and I don't want to eat it now ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() OK so I been and got the chicken... | |||
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