Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So how did the truth thread go for you? Were you surprised by the comments you got? " Went awesomely for me! Thank you  was a great thread OP and opened up some great connections x very surprised but in a good way | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It went well. I was called melancholy, which I thought was pretty damn accurate." I got told to smile on my profile too, actual words where "...smile, ffs" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It went well. I was called melancholy, which I thought was pretty damn accurate." that is a good word for you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I found it weird the people who had noticed me. I think most of us feel like we don't make an impact here so it was nice to be recognised and appreciate how we all play a part. " Agreed. I am always surprised when I get a message, even more when it is related to a forum post. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm a twat with a nice body for a grandad " I'm sure there's a compliment in there somewhere | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So how did the truth thread go for you? Were you surprised by the comments you got? " didn't get any | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It went well. I was called melancholy, which I thought was pretty damn accurate. that is a good word for you. " I thought so. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
People were generally complimentary though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mine had a theme of 'honest and direct', which could be a hint to wind my neck in
People were generally complimentary though. "That's because of that ass | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Mine had a theme of 'honest and direct', which could be a hint to wind my neck in
People were generally complimentary though.
That's because of that ass " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Couple of lovely messages. I seem to have the market cornered in nice, friendly, shy and .... kinky "Pfft, get out of my corner. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Couple of lovely messages. I seem to have the market cornered in nice, friendly, shy and .... kinky
Pfft, get out of my corner. "Room for two? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I found it nice to talk to people wouldn't normally talk to, even dudes, in a non sexual (kinda) way. People were far to nice though, it was a feel good thread, but I'd have appreciated some more honest truths and constructive criticism to allow me some room for self improvement. "Might not of been being nice, might just of genuinely meant it! I on the other hand squire think you are a.......lol we are all our own worst critics so I'll let you finish that one   | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Couple of lovely messages. I seem to have the market cornered in nice, friendly, shy and .... kinky
Pfft, get out of my corner.
Room for two?"Of course, I'll even make the tea. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I found it nice to talk to people wouldn't normally talk to, even dudes, in a non sexual (kinda) way. People were far to nice though, it was a feel good thread, but I'd have appreciated some more honest truths and constructive criticism to allow me some room for self improvement. "i get what u mean | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Couple of lovely messages. I seem to have the market cornered in nice, friendly, shy and .... kinky
Pfft, get out of my corner.
Room for two?
Of course, I'll even make the tea. "Now this could be the deal breaker that means we have to fight for the corner. What sort of tea?? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So how did the truth thread go for you? Were you surprised by the comments you got? " Brilliant, one of the best threads I've seen on here.
I posted on another thread that it took care of nearly all my night.
Most of the comments were good and those that weren't were constructive.
I was a bit disappointed that those that drop snidy comments in the forums didn't have a go but I guess you can't have everything. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 ). Actually a few made me a bit teary eyed but I'm blaming my time of the month for that.
But the best thing to come out of the thread was a potential meet - bloody chuffed with that one. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” " I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” " There’s a new thread running now if you want in? Doughnut | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm a twat with a nice body for a grandad I'm sure there's a compliment in there somewhere" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. " That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway" But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was surprised by some in a pleasant way (also really hurt by someone saying I am a bit shitty ). Actually a few made me a bit teary eyed but I'm blaming my time of the month for that.
But the best thing to come out of the thread was a potential meet - bloody chuffed with that one."I can't make it anymore.......soz | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Couple of lovely messages. I seem to have the market cornered in nice, friendly, shy and .... kinky
Pfft, get out of my corner.
Room for two?
Of course, I'll even make the tea.
Now this could be the deal breaker that means we have to fight for the corner.
What sort of tea??
"I have a wide range. But Yorkshire or twinings English breakfast for the everyday cup. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. " That’s certainly how it worked for me | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. " Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? " But being honest isn't calling someone a cunt. That's just a word. We are adults and we have words to use to describe behaviour, it's impact and to offer a solution. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! " Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? But being honest isn't calling someone a cunt. That's just a word. We are adults and we have words to use to describe behaviour, it's impact and to offer a solution." If it’s how your feel about them of course its being honest to call them it. It’s blunt and to some harsh but in its simplest form it’s honest | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? But being honest isn't calling someone a cunt. That's just a word. We are adults and we have words to use to describe behaviour, it's impact and to offer a solution. If it’s how your feel about them of course its being honest to call them it. It’s blunt and to some harsh but in its simplest form it’s honest " But what makes someone a cunt to me might not be what makes them a cunt to you. Honesty is in explaining why. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lololololol typical, ppl happy to argue out here in public, but unable to give direct criticism privately.... I guess that's control linked? Intimacy is a beautiful thing, right "Is it arguing or debating an issue? It’s a matter of perspective Which is essential what all the opinions given via that thread is based open. Their perspective of how they view you. And I’d wager some have been very wrong about most people, very few of us represent who we truly are on here and some can’t convey themselves to their best through the written word | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? But being honest isn't calling someone a cunt. That's just a word. We are adults and we have words to use to describe behaviour, it's impact and to offer a solution. If it’s how your feel about them of course its being honest to call them it. It’s blunt and to some harsh but in its simplest form it’s honest But what makes someone a cunt to me might not be what makes them a cunt to you. Honesty is in explaining why. " You could be a cunt to someone but they might think you're adorable if you're really good at being a cunt? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? But being honest isn't calling someone a cunt. That's just a word. We are adults and we have words to use to describe behaviour, it's impact and to offer a solution. If it’s how your feel about them of course its being honest to call them it. It’s blunt and to some harsh but in its simplest form it’s honest But what makes someone a cunt to me might not be what makes them a cunt to you. Honesty is in explaining why. " And no where have I said that they can’t explain why that’s how they feel just that they have a right to say it in the spirit of honesty | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Lololololol typical, ppl happy to argue out here in public, but unable to give direct criticism privately.... I guess that's control linked? Intimacy is a beautiful thing, right
Is it arguing or debating an issue? It’s a matter of perspective
Which is essential what all the opinions given via that thread is based open. Their perspective of how they view you. And I’d wager some have been very wrong about most people, very few of us represent who we truly are on here and some can’t convey themselves to their best through the written word
"We only have words on here..... What's the solution? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice " Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse." I completely see your point. Brutal honesty like that is hard to take for many. But is there then not an argument for you shouldn’t have asked for the honesty if you were gonna be hurt by it on such a way? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse." Ok, point taken, it depends on the individual and also your relationship I guess. I've been a rubbish mate to Rubi, and she called me out on it and said something along the lines of "Steve, you're a cunt of a friend,, you know nothing about me, you need to ask more about my life and not tell me about yours and just expect me to listen yo the same okd shit about Sarah etc".... .... I'm still a cunt but I'm trying to ask more and not just talk about myself, she's helped me | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. I completely see your point. Brutal honesty like that is hard to take for many. But is there then not an argument for you shouldn’t have asked for the honesty if you were gonna be hurt by it on such a way? " See that’s not honesty, that’s verbal abuse there’s a difference. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. I completely see your point. Brutal honesty like that is hard to take for many. But is there then not an argument for you shouldn’t have asked for the honesty if you were gonna be hurt by it on such a way? " Very true, don't look for trouble if you're not prepared to deal with what might be offered up | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. Ok, point taken, it depends on the individual and also your relationship I guess. I've been a rubbish mate to Rubi, and she called me out on it and said something along the lines of "Steve, you're a cunt of a friend,, you know nothing about me, you need to ask more about my life and not tell me about yours and just expect me to listen yo the same okd shit about Sarah etc".... .... I'm still a cunt but I'm trying to ask more and not just talk about myself, she's helped me "It certainly would depend on the relationship and the individual as well as the context. However I wouldn’t have expected to receive that kind of feedback from someone I didn’t know very well or have a relationship of some standing with. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. I completely see your point. Brutal honesty like that is hard to take for many. But is there then not an argument for you shouldn’t have asked for the honesty if you were gonna be hurt by it on such a way? Very true, don't look for trouble if you're not prepared to deal with what might be offered up "I’ll take the risk | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. I completely see your point. Brutal honesty like that is hard to take for many. But is there then not an argument for you shouldn’t have asked for the honesty if you were gonna be hurt by it on such a way? See that’s not honesty, that’s verbal abuse there’s a difference." Because you chose to take the comments so negatively and be hurt by them Some would chose to respect them for being able to speak their mind so freely | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice Sure I was told that I use humour to hide and I’m overly self-deprecating ( both behaviours so useful specific feedback) - one or both being mentioned by all those who messaged me - that was sufficient for me to reflect on do I overdo those things in my posting. My conclusion was yes I do, I then posted a specific thread to help me think things through, and now I’m working on changing it. If I’d been told I was a cunt by everyone who messaged me I would have felt really hurt and left the site feeling shit about myself. Therein lies the difference for me in useful constructive feedback and destructive verbal abuse. I completely see your point. Brutal honesty like that is hard to take for many. But is there then not an argument for you shouldn’t have asked for the honesty if you were gonna be hurt by it on such a way? See that’s not honesty, that’s verbal abuse there’s a difference. Because you chose to take the comments so negatively and be hurt by them Some would chose to respect them for being able to speak their mind so freely " Respecting them would very much depend on my relationship with that individual and the context for the choice of language used. From a stranger on the internet who I hardly know I would see it as verbal abuse. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is making me think, in a good way I guess. I often assume you lot are hard as nails, you're a bunch of softies really... Still, never ever be a victim, it'll attract the "abuse" you're afraid of and in a place like fab, it's supposed to be fun and sexy, right? P.s. I need done abuse privately, fill my box up "I’ve been here 9 years and received abuse once. I wear a thin sensitive skin and i like that. I’ll not be changing that for anyone. Besides I’m perfectly capable of holding my own on a war of words should the need arise | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is making me think, in a good way I guess. I often assume you lot are hard as nails, you're a bunch of softies really... Still, never ever be a victim, it'll attract the "abuse" you're afraid of and in a place like fab, it's supposed to be fun and sexy, right? P.s. I need done abuse privately, fill my box up
I’ve been here 9 years and received abuse once. I wear a thin sensitive skin and i like that. I’ll not be changing that for anyone. Besides I’m perfectly capable of holding my own on a war of words should the need arise " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice " I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It will always come down to context and perception. After saying in on the second thread, Ive has a mixed bag of comments. The few most frequently mentioned that I’m cynical (which after my first comment on this thread I do understand) but mostly that I’m open, firm but fair and don’t suffer fools likely. You ask for my opinion you’re gonna get it wether it’s what you want to hear or not and more often than not when it’s negative people don’t wanna hear it, and people are smart enough to know that, which is why you’ll rarely get a truly honest opinion from very few people " I think that part of that is down to delivery. I've often heard the phrase "I speak as I find," or "brutal honesty" used by people who simply have no tact or empathy for how their words are received. I'm not saying that this is necessarily the case with yourself and honesty is a very positive character trait. However if it's not allied with anything else, honesty can be rather a nasty thing. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. " 
No I got your point which is why I asked if you heard it enough would it not make you question your posting style.
Could you take that general consensus of opinion and find the constructive positives to take from it? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It will always come down to context and perception. After saying in on the second thread, Ive has a mixed bag of comments. The few most frequently mentioned that I’m cynical (which after my first comment on this thread I do understand) but mostly that I’m open, firm but fair and don’t suffer fools likely. You ask for my opinion you’re gonna get it wether it’s what you want to hear or not and more often than not when it’s negative people don’t wanna hear it, and people are smart enough to know that, which is why you’ll rarely get a truly honest opinion from very few people " I agree with your point that that people sugar coat their truth at times, but that is down to the anxiety of the individual giving the feedback. Anxiety underpins feedback that is given both like a sledgehammer or by pussyfooting around. Constructive confronting feedback is given when the giver isn’t preoccupied with their own anxieties and stuff. That in my view is why clear truthful constructive feedback is rarely given. However I think it’s great that people are seeking feedback and giving it. And from what I have seen as the outcomes from the thread it has been really positive | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. " I agree.... ....there's always a but though right, especially with me, and do I'd just add that emotions can create powerful motivation, so for example if Rubi calls me a cunt, firstly I'll be glad she cares enough to say/feel it and secondly I'll think to myself I respect her and I don't want her to think that about me so I'll adjust my behaviour. I'm happy being called a cunt all day long.... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it" Has it? Or is it just reflecting on honesty and the types of it people value | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it Has it? Or is it just reflecting on honesty and the types of it people value " Nope, it's gone to fuck | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it" Not at all, it's still roughly on track. To be frank, in my experience with the forums we should be discussing ducks about now or arguing about barebacking | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I missed the thread I think it was kinda pointless in a way as I seriously doubt anyone that had anything bad to say would really have the balls to pm it Look at the responses so far “All positives” I'm not sure. I got and gave some constructive criticism. Both were delivered in a positive way though. That’s the thing though constructive Criticism is the worst I think it would amount to. Doubt anyone’s gonna outright call someone a cunt for fear of being reported and those they mostly think are of that nature they’ve probably already blocked anyway But that was kinda the point. There's enough sniping around here. It wasn't about nasty comments, it was about celebrating positives and maybe giving a wee bit of room for improvement. Can see your point but the honest opinion of those that don’t like you and them being able to say it as directly as they like, should be equally as valid to you if you truly welcome peoples honesty towards you, surely? But being honest isn't calling someone a cunt. That's just a word. We are adults and we have words to use to describe behaviour, it's impact and to offer a solution. If it’s how your feel about them of course its being honest to call them it. It’s blunt and to some harsh but in its simplest form it’s honest But what makes someone a cunt to me might not be what makes them a cunt to you. Honesty is in explaining why. And no where have I said that they can’t explain why that’s how they feel just that they have a right to say it in the spirit of honesty " I never said they couldn't. People can say what they want, that was the point of the thread. If calling someone a cunt is how you choose to approach someone then that's your choice. The fact that no-one would isn't something I could control but I am glad no-one did because people seem happy in the comments they did get and happy people make me happy. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it Not at all, it's still roughly on track. To be frank, in my experience with the forums we should be discussing ducks about now or arguing about barebacking" I don't bother with the forums much because most threads tend to go tits up lately | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. I agree.... ....there's always a but though right, especially with me, and do I'd just add that emotions can create powerful motivation, so for example if Rubi calls me a cunt, firstly I'll be glad she cares enough to say/feel it and secondly I'll think to myself I respect her and I don't want her to think that about me so I'll adjust my behaviour. I'm happy being called a cunt all day long.... " See there’s a difference for me. Calling someone a cunt is at the level of identity- it is in answer to the question Who are you? However if I hear a friend tell me I’ve been behaving like a cunt recently, I’d want to clarify the specifics of what I had done for them to feel like that. I can then change the specific behaviour. I’d struggle to come to terms with truly being seen as a cunt and know how to change that. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it" has it? I think it’s a good debate | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it has it? I think it’s a good debate "I’ve been enjoying debating the issue afterall it’s a way to reflect on the impact of the thread, is it not? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it Not at all, it's still roughly on track. To be frank, in my experience with the forums we should be discussing ducks about now or arguing about barebacking I don't bother with the forums much because most threads tend to go tits up lately" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it has it? I think it’s a good debate
I’ve been enjoying debating the issue afterall it’s a way to reflect on the impact of the thread, is it not? " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it Not at all, it's still roughly on track. To be frank, in my experience with the forums we should be discussing ducks about now or arguing about barebacking I don't bother with the forums much because most threads tend to go tits up lately" Meh! Some do, some don't. Threads rarely, if ever move in a linear direction. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. I agree.... ....there's always a but though right, especially with me, and do I'd just add that emotions can create powerful motivation, so for example if Rubi calls me a cunt, firstly I'll be glad she cares enough to say/feel it and secondly I'll think to myself I respect her and I don't want her to think that about me so I'll adjust my behaviour. I'm happy being called a cunt all day long.... See there’s a difference for me. Calling someone a cunt is at the level of identity- it is in answer to the question Who are you? However if I hear a friend tell me I’ve been behaving like a cunt recently, I’d want to clarify the specifics of what I had done for them to feel like that. I can then change the specific behaviour. I’d struggle to come to terms with truly being seen as a cunt and know how to change that." That's the thing. I did call Steve a cunt (I didn't use that word, it's not a word I'd use but it was probably something similar) but he and I have been friends a long time and I knew how he would react to that. I wouldn't call a stranger on the internet a cunt because I don't know them personally. I don't know how that word would affect them or the consequences it might have. I do agree that those saying they were in took their fate in their hands and shouldn't be complaining if they get negative comments but at the same time I also understand that someone might've used that thread in the hope of some kinda positivity because they'd had a shit day or week or year and a comment like that could really affect them. I'm not saying I wouldn't still offer my opinion but I would point out the issues I have and why because that to me is treating someone with respect. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Rubidoux's thread was just a bit of fun and not really suitable for people who are a bit too up themselves." That’s interesting, your comment feels a bit like pissing on the group. Who specifically is too up themselves? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. I agree.... ....there's always a but though right, especially with me, and do I'd just add that emotions can create powerful motivation, so for example if Rubi calls me a cunt, firstly I'll be glad she cares enough to say/feel it and secondly I'll think to myself I respect her and I don't want her to think that about me so I'll adjust my behaviour. I'm happy being called a cunt all day long.... See there’s a difference for me. Calling someone a cunt is at the level of identity- it is in answer to the question Who are you? However if I hear a friend tell me I’ve been behaving like a cunt recently, I’d want to clarify the specifics of what I had done for them to feel like that. I can then change the specific behaviour. I’d struggle to come to terms with truly being seen as a cunt and know how to change that. That's the thing. I did call Steve a cunt (I didn't use that word, it's not a word I'd use but it was probably something similar) but he and I have been friends a long time and I knew how he would react to that. I wouldn't call a stranger on the internet a cunt because I don't know them personally. I don't know how that word would affect them or the consequences it might have. I do agree that those saying they were in took their fate in their hands and shouldn't be complaining if they get negative comments but at the same time I also understand that someone might've used that thread in the hope of some kinda positivity because they'd had a shit day or week or year and a comment like that could really affect them. I'm not saying I wouldn't still offer my opinion but I would point out the issues I have and why because that to me is treating someone with respect. " Same time again next week? Xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Posts like Rubis are a great way to get chatting to new people and catch up with those you may have not spoken to in a while. They often spiral off into other conversations that remind you why you're friends with someone. Nobody that only sees a few posts can form an accurate view of a personality to the point of sending an offensive message so I wouldn't expect anyone to receive harsh criticism.. at best it could be an opinion like 'feisty' or 'self assured' and surely that's how the thread is supposed to go? It's not designed for people to be over critical, it's designed for balanced conversation and a conversation starter.. that's great in itself." | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. I agree.... ....there's always a but though right, especially with me, and do I'd just add that emotions can create powerful motivation, so for example if Rubi calls me a cunt, firstly I'll be glad she cares enough to say/feel it and secondly I'll think to myself I respect her and I don't want her to think that about me so I'll adjust my behaviour. I'm happy being called a cunt all day long.... See there’s a difference for me. Calling someone a cunt is at the level of identity- it is in answer to the question Who are you? However if I hear a friend tell me I’ve been behaving like a cunt recently, I’d want to clarify the specifics of what I had done for them to feel like that. I can then change the specific behaviour. I’d struggle to come to terms with truly being seen as a cunt and know how to change that. That's the thing. I did call Steve a cunt (I didn't use that word, it's not a word I'd use but it was probably something similar) but he and I have been friends a long time and I knew how he would react to that. I wouldn't call a stranger on the internet a cunt because I don't know them personally. I don't know how that word would affect them or the consequences it might have. I do agree that those saying they were in took their fate in their hands and shouldn't be complaining if they get negative comments but at the same time I also understand that someone might've used that thread in the hope of some kinda positivity because they'd had a shit day or week or year and a comment like that could really affect them. I'm not saying I wouldn't still offer my opinion but I would point out the issues I have and why because that to me is treating someone with respect. Same time again next week? Xx" I'm washing my hair. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had some really nice comments, it's good to see how I come across and how others view me. I do echo the sentiment that a balanced opinion is required for real objective development, however, it's subjective opinion based on emotive reactions. Being called a touchy feely tosser isn't going to help balance your posting style very much! Not even the if the majority of the messages were that you were a touchy feely tosser? Wouldn’t it make you stop and think about your posting style, if it’s the majority opinion? Because It would make me think twice I wasn't actually called that by anyone and I think that you kind of missed my point. Abuse is abuse and is neither constructive nor helpful, it's emotive and subjective by its very nature. Criticism if delivered in the right way can be and is very helpful in the learning and developing process. I agree.... ....there's always a but though right, especially with me, and do I'd just add that emotions can create powerful motivation, so for example if Rubi calls me a cunt, firstly I'll be glad she cares enough to say/feel it and secondly I'll think to myself I respect her and I don't want her to think that about me so I'll adjust my behaviour. I'm happy being called a cunt all day long.... See there’s a difference for me. Calling someone a cunt is at the level of identity- it is in answer to the question Who are you? However if I hear a friend tell me I’ve been behaving like a cunt recently, I’d want to clarify the specifics of what I had done for them to feel like that. I can then change the specific behaviour. I’d struggle to come to terms with truly being seen as a cunt and know how to change that. That's the thing. I did call Steve a cunt (I didn't use that word, it's not a word I'd use but it was probably something similar) but he and I have been friends a long time and I knew how he would react to that. I wouldn't call a stranger on the internet a cunt because I don't know them personally. I don't know how that word would affect them or the consequences it might have. I do agree that those saying they were in took their fate in their hands and shouldn't be complaining if they get negative comments but at the same time I also understand that someone might've used that thread in the hope of some kinda positivity because they'd had a shit day or week or year and a comment like that could really affect them. I'm not saying I wouldn't still offer my opinion but I would point out the issues I have and why because that to me is treating someone with respect. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Might start my Ben shapiro thread soon, that will be a lively, interesting debate " If that's what you want! I've said it repeatedly that if people are unhappy or unfulfilled by the threads on offer then why not start their own. Perhaps things wouldn't go awry so often if there was a more diverse posting base. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Posts like Rubis are a great way to get chatting to new people and catch up with those you may have not spoken to in a while. They often spiral off into other conversations that remind you why you're friends with someone. Nobody that only sees a few posts can form an accurate view of a personality to the point of sending an offensive message so I wouldn't expect anyone to receive harsh criticism.. at best it could be an opinion like 'feisty' or 'self assured' and surely that's how the thread is supposed to go? It's not designed for people to be over critical, it's designed for balanced conversation and a conversation starter.. that's great in itself." That’s how Rubi framed it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Posts like Rubis are a great way to get chatting to new people and catch up with those you may have not spoken to in a while. They often spiral off into other conversations that remind you why you're friends with someone. Nobody that only sees a few posts can form an accurate view of a personality to the point of sending an offensive message so I wouldn't expect anyone to receive harsh criticism.. at best it could be an opinion like 'feisty' or 'self assured' and surely that's how the thread is supposed to go? It's not designed for people to be over critical, it's designed for balanced conversation and a conversation starter.. that's great in itself." Then that poses another question. If you were to receive a more overly critical or harsh response, why take it to heart? Because you know that the few posts you made mean people cant build an accurate opinion of you anyway. This thread as funnily enough provoked more private response for me than the actual threads asking for opinion themselves | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Rubidoux's thread was just a bit of fun and not really suitable for people who are a bit too up themselves. That’s interesting, your comment feels a bit like pissing on the group. Who specifically is too up themselves?" I can't say, we're back to normal rules now and it will get me a ban. It will have to wait until the next "truth hurts' amnesty thread. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Rubidoux's thread was just a bit of fun and not really suitable for people who are a bit too up themselves. That’s interesting, your comment feels a bit like pissing on the group. Who specifically is too up themselves? I can't say, we're back to normal rules now and it will get me a ban. It will have to wait until the next "truth hurts' amnesty thread. " There’s a part 2 going If said poster is on there I’m sure they’re open to what you’ve got to say | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Posts like Rubis are a great way to get chatting to new people and catch up with those you may have not spoken to in a while. They often spiral off into other conversations that remind you why you're friends with someone. Nobody that only sees a few posts can form an accurate view of a personality to the point of sending an offensive message so I wouldn't expect anyone to receive harsh criticism.. at best it could be an opinion like 'feisty' or 'self assured' and surely that's how the thread is supposed to go? It's not designed for people to be over critical, it's designed for balanced conversation and a conversation starter.. that's great in itself. Then that poses another question. If you were to receive a more overly critical or harsh response, why take it to heart? Because you know that the few posts you made mean people cant build an accurate opinion of you anyway. This thread as funnily enough provoked more private response for me than the actual threads asking for opinion themselves " Exactly this, I wouldn't. Unless you're friends it's pretty hard to get a fuller picture of someone's personality. I'd only send a sarcastic message to someone already a friend who knows how to take my humour. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Posts like Rubis are a great way to get chatting to new people and catch up with those you may have not spoken to in a while. They often spiral off into other conversations that remind you why you're friends with someone. Nobody that only sees a few posts can form an accurate view of a personality to the point of sending an offensive message so I wouldn't expect anyone to receive harsh criticism.. at best it could be an opinion like 'feisty' or 'self assured' and surely that's how the thread is supposed to go? It's not designed for people to be over critical, it's designed for balanced conversation and a conversation starter.. that's great in itself. Then that poses another question. If you were to receive a more overly critical or harsh response, why take it to heart? Because you know that the few posts you made mean people cant build an accurate opinion of you anyway. This thread as funnily enough provoked more private response for me than the actual threads asking for opinion themselves Exactly this, I wouldn't. Unless you're friends it's pretty hard to get a fuller picture of someone's personality. I'd only send a sarcastic message to someone already a friend who knows how to take my humour. " See I wouldn’t either for that just reason. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Rubidoux's thread was just a bit of fun and not really suitable for people who are a bit too up themselves. That’s interesting, your comment feels a bit like pissing on the group. Who specifically is too up themselves? I can't say, we're back to normal rules now and it will get me a ban. It will have to wait until the next "truth hurts' amnesty thread. There’s a part 2 going If said poster is on there I’m sure they’re open to what you’ve got to say" Be a luv and post the link up would ya? I can't be arsed looking for it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm happy calling anyone a cunt if they can take it. No offence mind.... "No offence taken by me, I am a cunt | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm happy calling anyone a cunt if they can take it. No offence mind....
No offence taken by me, I am a cunt "I think cunts shouldn't be afraid to be cunts just because fab society deems it unacceptable. Express your inner cuntiness and be free brother! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm happy calling anyone a cunt if they can take it. No offence mind....
No offence taken by me, I am a cunt
I think cunts shouldn't be afraid to be cunts just because fab society deems it unacceptable. Express your inner cuntiness and be free brother! "I must be one, 8 out of ten people can't be wrong. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm happy calling anyone a cunt if they can take it. No offence mind....
No offence taken by me, I am a cunt
I think cunts shouldn't be afraid to be cunts just because fab society deems it unacceptable. Express your inner cuntiness and be free brother!
I must be one, 8 out of ten people can't be wrong."11 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm happy calling anyone a cunt if they can take it. No offence mind....
No offence taken by me, I am a cunt
I think cunts shouldn't be afraid to be cunts just because fab society deems it unacceptable. Express your inner cuntiness and be free brother!
I must be one, 8 out of ten people can't be wrong.
11"14? It's a maths thing, right? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm happy calling anyone a cunt if they can take it. No offence mind....
No offence taken by me, I am a cunt
I think cunts shouldn't be afraid to be cunts just because fab society deems it unacceptable. Express your inner cuntiness and be free brother!
I must be one, 8 out of ten people can't be wrong.
11
14? It's a maths thing, right? " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Rubidoux's thread was just a bit of fun and not really suitable for people who are a bit too up themselves. That’s interesting, your comment feels a bit like pissing on the group. Who specifically is too up themselves? I can't say, we're back to normal rules now and it will get me a ban. It will have to wait until the next "truth hurts' amnesty thread. There’s a part 2 going If said poster is on there I’m sure they’re open to what you’ve got to say Be a luv and post the link up would ya? I can't be arsed looking for it." I would but I can see you’ve already found it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be brutally honest, the only people who like me on the "truth" thread last night were my 3 other profiles." Well they say I’ve of the hardest thing to do is to learn to love yourself | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Don’t need to ask for opinions, people are quite happy to publicly post their disdain of me. " I'm rather fond of you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be brutally honest, the only people who like me on the "truth" thread last night were my 3 other profiles." Thats a lot of spare time. I actually appreciate you, I like your no nonsense sharp cutting bladeyness | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Don’t need to ask for opinions, people are quite happy to publicly post their disdain of me. I'm rather fond of you "Ditto | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Don’t need to ask for opinions, people are quite happy to publicly post their disdain of me. " I really like your candid posts and enjoy reading your threads. I certainly do not hold you in disdain at all. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be brutally honest, the only people who like me on the "truth" thread last night were my 3 other profiles." Did they block you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Someone said I was a cunt. Another said I was cute. "You have a cute cunt | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Someone said I was a cunt. Another said I was cute.
You have a cute cunt "It's been said | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Someone said I was a cunt. Another said I was cute.
You have a cute cunt
It's been said "A legendary cunt then | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it has it? I think it’s a good debate "It's really interesting reading looking in from the outside. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"To be brutally honest, the only people who like me on the "truth" thread last night were my 3 other profiles. Did they block you" Well yeah but I think I went too kinky with sexting. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Don’t need to ask for opinions, people are quite happy to publicly post their disdain of me. " I admire how upfront you are | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well this thread has gone all to fuck hasn't it has it? I think it’s a good debate
It's really interesting reading looking in from the outside. "I’m sure it was | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
