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Self-deprecation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant afford the stamp im broke

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard? "

Can't help I do it all the time.

Just be you that's all I do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I cant afford the stamp im broke "

Use Doc’s free post

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Can't help I do it all the time.

Just be you that's all I do "

That’s quite difficult as the self-deprecation comes so naturally now.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Just be you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s a protective thing, get in there before others say it, but I think it’s a good quality and women generally like it. Shows you don’t take yourself to seriously.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh someone already said that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be anything you're not.

Maybe try to see the good qualities ppl have mentioned and build on those rather than worrying about something which actually makes you look pretty human and approachable. Self deprecation on the right circumstances is a real skill!

You're alright mate

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Write ' I am fabulous' 100 times

Or I want to be like sir olov

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard? "

Bless you. You know I think highly of you.

As someone who has been encouraging and pivotal with my self-confidence and always supported me to feel it’s okay to state my opinion, without apology - I would like you to take your own advice. Write whatever your default would be and read it back before posting and think of it as another person’s post, is that person apologising for even making a comment, is that person lifting themselves up and truly at peace with their right to have an opinion. That’s not the same as taking it too the extreme in the other direction (even if some will view it that way). We all post with our own inner voices of correction or inflated ego, and equally everyone reads another person with a projection of low self-esteem or ego to pop. We can only control the former, and graciously respond to the latter.

Be you. You’re worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it, but don't mean it, same as when I'm being arrogant.

When I read your self-deprecating I just see it as your way of being modest against the backdrop of egos flying around in here.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Typos. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always do it especially with fat jokes, if I get them in first no one else can

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it’s a protective thing, get in there before others say it, but I think it’s a good quality and women generally like it. Shows you don’t take yourself to seriously. "

Oh it is a self-protective mechanism to stop people getting too close and to an extent act as a repellent.

There are always those that saw beyond me playing the fool and got through the defences and became friends. But on the whole it has worked well in preventing me from getting too close to people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Bless you. You know I think highly of you.

As someone who has been encouraging and pivotal with my self-confidence and always supported me to feel it’s okay to state my opinion, without apology - I would like you to take your own advice. Write whatever your default would be and read it back before posting and think of it as another person’s post, is that person apologising for even making a comment, is that person lifting themselves up and truly at peace with their right to have an opinion. That’s not the same as taking it too the extreme in the other direction (even if some will view it that way). We all post with our own inner voices of correction or inflated ego, and equally everyone reads another person with a projection of low self-esteem or ego to pop. We can only control the former, and graciously respond to the latter.

Be you. You’re worth it. "

Flicks nostril hair and smoothes ear hair combover - because I’m worth it

Thanks for the advice - it’s a good idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you know yourself you are lovely, then carry on if it is now a part of you and you like doing it. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I do it, but don't mean it, same as when I'm being arrogant.

When I read your self-deprecating I just see it as your way of being modest against the backdrop of egos flying around in here."

That’s often what I’m doing and I recognise a similar approach in your posting

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If you can pay for a stamp, then I'll send you a postcard Doc

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Bless you. You know I think highly of you.

As someone who has been encouraging and pivotal with my self-confidence and always supported me to feel it’s okay to state my opinion, without apology - I would like you to take your own advice. Write whatever your default would be and read it back before posting and think of it as another person’s post, is that person apologising for even making a comment, is that person lifting themselves up and truly at peace with their right to have an opinion. That’s not the same as taking it too the extreme in the other direction (even if some will view it that way). We all post with our own inner voices of correction or inflated ego, and equally everyone reads another person with a projection of low self-esteem or ego to pop. We can only control the former, and graciously respond to the latter.

Be you. You’re worth it.

I am worth it, yes.

Thanks for the advice - it’s a good idea "

FTFY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard? "

Think it must be an epidemic.

I do the same in both PM and the forums. Almost as though if you say it yourself then it stops anyone else doing it to cause us hurt or make us doubt or own worth, or just because it's easier to hide in plain sight that way.

When I do come out of the cave I still dont know how to be the me I am in the real world, where it's often easier because people see all of us there rather than just pixels on a screen.

But ffs man. Your part of the fab royalty. Just be you. It's all any if us can be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know I like you. I always noticed you have a very kind nature. That’s a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As long as you know yourself you are lovely, then carry on if it is now a part of you and you like doing it. X"

I’d like to display a bit more of me and not just fallback on my default mode. Thank you for saying that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find arrogance works so much better at pushing people away. No one even tries to chip through that exterior. *shrugs*

Is self deprecating not just a way of gaining compliments?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You know I like you. I always noticed you have a very kind nature. That’s a good thing. "

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find arrogance works so much better at pushing people away. No one even tries to chip through that exterior. *shrugs*

Is self deprecating not just a way of gaining compliments?"

No not really - I didn’t get compliments when I was self deprecating just a few laughs if I managed to be humorous

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Think it must be an epidemic.

I do the same in both PM and the forums. Almost as though if you say it yourself then it stops anyone else doing it to cause us hurt or make us doubt or own worth, or just because it's easier to hide in plain sight that way.

When I do come out of the cave I still dont know how to be the me I am in the real world, where it's often easier because people see all of us there rather than just pixels on a screen.

But ffs man. Your part of the fab royalty. Just be you. It's all any if us can be.

"

Yep I’ve seen your self-deprecating posts frequently and smile as I recognise those parts of me. I guess your challenge applies as much to you as me. I’m up for the challenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As long as you know yourself you are lovely, then carry on if it is now a part of you and you like doing it. X

I’d like to display a bit more of me and not just fallback on my default mode. Thank you for saying that x"

Oh I think you do that aswell though, there are those of us who still notice the little snippets of hidden selves that get shown.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you can pay for a stamp, then I'll send you a postcard Doc "

I’ll give you a stamp, just stick your foot over here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Bless you. You know I think highly of you.

As someone who has been encouraging and pivotal with my self-confidence and always supported me to feel it’s okay to state my opinion, without apology - I would like you to take your own advice. Write whatever your default would be and read it back before posting and think of it as another person’s post, is that person apologising for even making a comment, is that person lifting themselves up and truly at peace with their right to have an opinion. That’s not the same as taking it too the extreme in the other direction (even if some will view it that way). We all post with our own inner voices of correction or inflated ego, and equally everyone reads another person with a projection of low self-esteem or ego to pop. We can only control the former, and graciously respond to the latter.

Be you. You’re worth it.

I am worth it, yes.

Thanks for the advice - it’s a good idea

FTFY"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh someone already said that "

Sometimes I need things repeating for it to get though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't be anything you're not.

Maybe try to see the good qualities ppl have mentioned and build on those rather than worrying about something which actually makes you look pretty human and approachable. Self deprecation on the right circumstances is a real skill!

You're alright mate "

It’s not that I don’t recognise the good qualities it’s that I think I’ve been overdoing the self deprecation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always do it especially with fat jokes, if I get them in first no one else can "

Getting my retaliation in first by taking the piss out of myself is an overdone strength

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Don't be anything you're not.

Maybe try to see the good qualities ppl have mentioned and build on those rather than worrying about something which actually makes you look pretty human and approachable. Self deprecation on the right circumstances is a real skill!

You're alright mate

It’s not that I don’t recognise the good qualities it’s that I think I’ve been overdoing the self deprecation."

I can't say I've noticed that about you. I think concern about how you're perceived on here is putting one foot on the road to madness (in the nicest possible way )

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Write ' I am fabulous' 100 times

Or I want to be like sir olov"

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous, I am fabulous,

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Doc, heal thyself!

I prescribe 1 straight, self-worth comment for every 5 self-deprecating comment. We can increase the dose if there's no allergic reaction or side effects.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't be anything you're not.

Maybe try to see the good qualities ppl have mentioned and build on those rather than worrying about something which actually makes you look pretty human and approachable. Self deprecation on the right circumstances is a real skill!

You're alright mate

It’s not that I don’t recognise the good qualities it’s that I think I’ve been overdoing the self deprecation.

I can't say I've noticed that about you. I think concern about how you're perceived on here is putting one foot on the road to madness (in the nicest possible way )"

I wasn’t concerned about how I was perceived more recognising a habit I was overdoing. It served me well but is less necessary now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Doc, heal thyself!

I prescribe 1 straight, self-worth comment for every 5 self-deprecating comment. We can increase the dose if there's no allergic reaction or side effects.

"

I’ll take it with a dose of my dodgy snake oil

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As long as you know yourself you are lovely, then carry on if it is now a part of you and you like doing it. X

I’d like to display a bit more of me and not just fallback on my default mode. Thank you for saying that x

Oh I think you do that aswell though, there are those of us who still notice the little snippets of hidden selves that get shown. "
Yeah I don’t hide myself that well

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Doc, heal thyself!

I prescribe 1 straight, self-worth comment for every 5 self-deprecating comment. We can increase the dose if there's no allergic reaction or side effects.

I’ll take it with a dose of my dodgy snake oil "

Nice LAM thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Doc, heal thyself!

I prescribe 1 straight, self-worth comment for every 5 self-deprecating comment. We can increase the dose if there's no allergic reaction or side effects.

I’ll take it with a dose of my dodgy snake oil

Nice LAM thread. "
Can’t kid a kidder eh;-)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont like it when people do it actually upsets me abit

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Well I think it's quite a humorous profile;)

And you definitely get extra points from me for putting self deprecating instead of self depreciating!!!!

I don't like the fishing for compliments messages, but yours isn't that. And it's loads better than arrogance (unless that's just being funny too).

So don't know what you're worried about....if indeed you're worried at all;)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

op i thought your a lovely guy but everytime i see you doing it i feel like punching you and that goes for the others that constantly do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no advice as it’s something I’m guilty of doing myself. I suppose it’s just believing you are worth something and letting a bit of that belief show through x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"op i thought your a lovely guy but everytime i see you doing it i feel like punching you and that goes for the others that constantly do it"

Thank you DS. I’ll remember that virtual punch each time I do it. Hopefully that will be a good deterrent

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have no advice as it’s something I’m guilty of doing myself. I suppose it’s just believing you are worth something and letting a bit of that belief show through x "

Yep we can all take a bit of that medicine Angie x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"op i thought your a lovely guy but everytime i see you doing it i feel like punching you and that goes for the others that constantly do it

Thank you DS. I’ll remember that virtual punch each time I do it. Hopefully that will be a good deterrent"
lol. your a lovely guy i cant understand why you do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well I think it's quite a humorous profile;)

And you definitely get extra points from me for putting self deprecating instead of self depreciating!!!!

I don't like the fishing for compliments messages, but yours isn't that. And it's loads better than arrogance (unless that's just being funny too).

So don't know what you're worried about....if indeed you're worried at all;)"

Ah my profile will remain I like it too much but thanks for the comments. I just want tp denigrate myself a bit less when it isn’t appropriate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"op i thought your a lovely guy but everytime i see you doing it i feel like punching you and that goes for the others that constantly do it

Thank you DS. I’ll remember that virtual punch each time I do it. Hopefully that will be a good deterrentlol. your a lovely guy i cant understand why you do it"
it was actually a useful defence mechanism at a time I was feeling vulnerable- I don’t need to use it for that reason anymore

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"If you can pay for a stamp, then I'll send you a postcard Doc

I’ll give you a stamp, just stick your foot over here "

Will do, but do I have to wear ma steelis and dance the Fandango

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you can pay for a stamp, then I'll send you a postcard Doc

I’ll give you a stamp, just stick your foot over here

Will do, but do I have to wear ma steelis and dance the Fandango "

I’d wear your steels I’m not as light on my feet as I was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Think it must be an epidemic.

I do the same in both PM and the forums. Almost as though if you say it yourself then it stops anyone else doing it to cause us hurt or make us doubt or own worth, or just because it's easier to hide in plain sight that way.

When I do come out of the cave I still dont know how to be the me I am in the real world, where it's often easier because people see all of us there rather than just pixels on a screen.

But ffs man. Your part of the fab royalty. Just be you. It's all any if us can be.

Yep I’ve seen your self-deprecating posts frequently and smile as I recognise those parts of me. I guess your challenge applies as much to you as me. I’m up for the challenge "

Your posts often make me smile. They are far more revealing than you may realise. Theres a fun guy, open and warm, hiding behind your posts, that make you well liked by just about everyone on here.

It's a challenge you will win. Me, I quite like the cave and anonymity, and have a different challenge, that one day may not be beyond me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Don't be anything you're not.

Maybe try to see the good qualities ppl have mentioned and build on those rather than worrying about something which actually makes you look pretty human and approachable. Self deprecation on the right circumstances is a real skill!

You're alright mate

It’s not that I don’t recognise the good qualities it’s that I think I’ve been overdoing the self deprecation.

I can't say I've noticed that about you. I think concern about how you're perceived on here is putting one foot on the road to madness (in the nicest possible way )

I wasn’t concerned about how I was perceived more recognising a habit I was overdoing. It served me well but is less necessary now. "

I see. Well, good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wash your hair with Loreal and tell yourself you're worth it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard? "

Be awesome like me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Be awesome like me "

I will just bask in your reflected awesomeness

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wash your hair with Loreal and tell yourself you're worth it!"

Nasal or ear hair. I’m using L’Oreal body wash already because my chest rug and pubes are worth it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Think it must be an epidemic.

I do the same in both PM and the forums. Almost as though if you say it yourself then it stops anyone else doing it to cause us hurt or make us doubt or own worth, or just because it's easier to hide in plain sight that way.

When I do come out of the cave I still dont know how to be the me I am in the real world, where it's often easier because people see all of us there rather than just pixels on a screen.

But ffs man. Your part of the fab royalty. Just be you. It's all any if us can be.

Yep I’ve seen your self-deprecating posts frequently and smile as I recognise those parts of me. I guess your challenge applies as much to you as me. I’m up for the challenge

Your posts often make me smile. They are far more revealing than you may realise. Theres a fun guy, open and warm, hiding behind your posts, that make you well liked by just about everyone on here.

It's a challenge you will win. Me, I quite like the cave and anonymity, and have a different challenge, that one day may not be beyond me.

"

I have my real life cave too. I need it to recharge my batteries after all the energy I’ve used being awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Be awesome like me

I will just bask in your reflected awesomeness"

That's the spirit Come.. Glow with me

You've got a sense of humour and you're 'in touch' enough to know that you feel a change is in order. So make a new rule. If you're going to be a little self deprecating.. only do it to help someone else, then make it funny as fuck when you do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Think it must be an epidemic.

I do the same in both PM and the forums. Almost as though if you say it yourself then it stops anyone else doing it to cause us hurt or make us doubt or own worth, or just because it's easier to hide in plain sight that way.

When I do come out of the cave I still dont know how to be the me I am in the real world, where it's often easier because people see all of us there rather than just pixels on a screen.

But ffs man. Your part of the fab royalty. Just be you. It's all any if us can be.

Yep I’ve seen your self-deprecating posts frequently and smile as I recognise those parts of me. I guess your challenge applies as much to you as me. I’m up for the challenge

Your posts often make me smile. They are far more revealing than you may realise. Theres a fun guy, open and warm, hiding behind your posts, that make you well liked by just about everyone on here.

It's a challenge you will win. Me, I quite like the cave and anonymity, and have a different challenge, that one day may not be beyond me.

"

And thank you x You’ll rise to your own challenge when the time is right for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"On the back of the feedback I got on Rubi’s ‘You can’t handle the truth thread’ a consistent theme was my self-deprecation For the last 5 years I have used painful self-deprecation as a sort of antidote to some of bigging oneself up that goes on in here at times as well as a way of replelling others as I didn’t really want people getting too close. There were a variety of reasons for this that stem back to my early days on the forum and personal circumstances.

However the habit of self-deprecation is so deeply engrained in my persona on here, that it’s a hard habit to break as well as wondering what on earth will i do instead on here.

Answers on a postcard?

Be awesome like me

I will just bask in your reflected awesomeness

That's the spirit Come.. Glow with me

You've got a sense of humour and you're 'in touch' enough to know that you feel a change is in order. So make a new rule. If you're going to be a little self deprecating.. only do it to help someone else, then make it funny as fuck when you do.

"

That’s a good rule I can take a virtual DS punch when I forget

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Sometimes being realistic can be misconstrued as self depreciating.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes being realistic can be misconstrued as self depreciating. "

Indeed it can. However I tend to be unrealistically self-deprecating at times. I’m all for a realistic perspective

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Bro I was one of those that mentioned your self-deprecation off the back of that thread - and I recognised it as it's something I do a lot, although bizarrely not so much here, but in person I do, and have done for years since childhood - for me it was very borne out of the "if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at" deflection mantra that I ingrained in myself as someone that was often laughed at or picked on at school.

The thing is, as this thread has shown, people see beyond it to the real person, and in some ways the ability to laugh at yourself is an endearing quality, especially when balanced with kindness and consideration in other ways, which you possess in bundles.

I certainly don't think us self-deprecators are doing it for attention, quite the opposite, it's more a means to deflect attention - and there's a huge difference between self-deprecation and reverse psychology attention seeking of the "I'll just sit here unnoticed" variety we often see here.

If it's part of you, embrace it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P"

I remember that line too. P is soooooooo right

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bro I was one of those that mentioned your self-deprecation off the back of that thread - and I recognised it as it's something I do a lot, although bizarrely not so much here, but in person I do, and have done for years since childhood - for me it was very borne out of the "if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at" deflection mantra that I ingrained in myself as someone that was often laughed at or picked on at school.

The thing is, as this thread has shown, people see beyond it to the real person, and in some ways the ability to laugh at yourself is an endearing quality, especially when balanced with kindness and consideration in other ways, which you possess in bundles.

I certainly don't think us self-deprecators are doing it for attention, quite the opposite, it's more a means to deflect attention - and there's a huge difference between self-deprecation and reverse psychology attention seeking of the "I'll just sit here unnoticed" variety we often see here.

If it's part of you, embrace it "

Thanks Gem. As always gems of wisdom. My self-effacing characteristic of course is very much a part of me however I’m really interested in attenuating the volume on the self-deprecation. Some of it has been simply humour, some of it was for self-protection. It’s the self protection O no longer need. So like a snake it’s a skin I now want to shed that is no longer needed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P"

Nice use of irony P I’ll still be laughing at my humanness there’s no doubt about that. After all it’s all part of the great Cosmic joke. The Fool is very much a deep part of who I am

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Bro I was one of those that mentioned your self-deprecation off the back of that thread - and I recognised it as it's something I do a lot, although bizarrely not so much here, but in person I do, and have done for years since childhood - for me it was very borne out of the "if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at" deflection mantra that I ingrained in myself as someone that was often laughed at or picked on at school.

The thing is, as this thread has shown, people see beyond it to the real person, and in some ways the ability to laugh at yourself is an endearing quality, especially when balanced with kindness and consideration in other ways, which you possess in bundles.

I certainly don't think us self-deprecators are doing it for attention, quite the opposite, it's more a means to deflect attention - and there's a huge difference between self-deprecation and reverse psychology attention seeking of the "I'll just sit here unnoticed" variety we often see here.

If it's part of you, embrace it

Thanks Gem. As always gems of wisdom. My self-effacing characteristic of course is very much a part of me however I’m really interested in attenuating the volume on the self-deprecation. Some of it has been simply humour, some of it was for self-protection. It’s the self protection O no longer need. So like a snake it’s a skin I now want to shed that is no longer needed."

I hear you and that comes with time and the realisation that it's no longer required, but as P said above don't lose sight of it either - it *is* an endearing quality even with the volume turned down

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bro I was one of those that mentioned your self-deprecation off the back of that thread - and I recognised it as it's something I do a lot, although bizarrely not so much here, but in person I do, and have done for years since childhood - for me it was very borne out of the "if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at" deflection mantra that I ingrained in myself as someone that was often laughed at or picked on at school.

The thing is, as this thread has shown, people see beyond it to the real person, and in some ways the ability to laugh at yourself is an endearing quality, especially when balanced with kindness and consideration in other ways, which you possess in bundles.

I certainly don't think us self-deprecators are doing it for attention, quite the opposite, it's more a means to deflect attention - and there's a huge difference between self-deprecation and reverse psychology attention seeking of the "I'll just sit here unnoticed" variety we often see here.

If it's part of you, embrace it

Thanks Gem. As always gems of wisdom. My self-effacing characteristic of course is very much a part of me however I’m really interested in attenuating the volume on the self-deprecation. Some of it has been simply humour, some of it was for self-protection. It’s the self protection O no longer need. So like a snake it’s a skin I now want to shed that is no longer needed.

I hear you and that comes with time and the realisation that it's no longer required, but as P said above don't lose sight of it either - it *is* an endearing quality even with the volume turned down "

Amen. I’m off for my beauty sleep- I need lots of it

Night night you beautiful, good and true folk. Much love xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P

Nice use of irony P I’ll still be laughing at my humanness there’s no doubt about that. After all it’s all part of the great Cosmic joke. The Fool is very much a deep part of who I am "

And the fool is no fool at all, so touchè on the irony stakes... moreso a very intelligent man who is modest in his truest form. Soooo many layers.

Has the penny finally dropped, that you're one of the good guys?

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P"

Well said! I think a lot of people FEEL strong by not allowing themselves to show any weakness, but if you can show/give a little weekness then you often realise you don't need to be strong, you just are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P

Well said! I think a lot of people FEEL strong by not allowing themselves to show any weakness, but if you can show/give a little weekness then you often realise you don't need to be strong, you just are "

I deliberately showed some weak spelling in that ^ , honest....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P

Well said! I think a lot of people FEEL strong by not allowing themselves to show any weakness, but if you can show/give a little weekness then you often realise you don't need to be strong, you just are

I deliberately showed some weak spelling in that ^ , honest.... "

Give as much of yourself as you expect off another. Strength manifests in many ways. The heart is a muscle too so exercise it by showing emotion and opening it. It's the only way it levels up.

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Well me dad would of slapped me up the head and said yr old enough to know u do it..so either do it and live with it ..or dont do it and stop complaining. .but he would of put a few more slaps in......lol

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

It's also a cultural thing that British people display more of than some other nationalities. Yes I thinking of you America !

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Wash your hair with Loreal and tell yourself you're worth it!"

Next thing he'll be be changing his name to Doc Ginola

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remember a line from yesterday from a wise man and wonderful friend.

"Your willingness to show your vulnerabilities is a great strength"

Sometimes we do self deprecate, sometimes we don't see our true worth to others and to ourselves.

I think as long as we CAN laugh at ourselves and our own quirks, yet embrace them at the same time we're doing just dandy.

Those are the things that make us us, make us unique, and those are the things that make us wonderful in our own way.

P

Nice use of irony P I’ll still be laughing at my humanness there’s no doubt about that. After all it’s all part of the great Cosmic joke. The Fool is very much a deep part of who I am

And the fool is no fool at all, so touchè on the irony stakes... moreso a very intelligent man who is modest in his truest form. Soooo many layers.

Has the penny finally dropped, that you're one of the good guys?

P"

The Fool is no fool

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well me dad would of slapped me up the head and said yr old enough to know u do it..so either do it and live with it ..or dont do it and stop complaining. .but he would of put a few more slaps in......lol

"

Slaps appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it’s a protective thing, get in there before others say it, but I think it’s a good quality and women generally like it. Shows you don’t take yourself to seriously.

Oh it is a self-protective mechanism to stop people getting too close and to an extent act as a repellent.

There are always those that saw beyond me playing the fool and got through the defences and became friends. But on the whole it has worked well in preventing me from getting too close to people."

People like you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wash your hair with Loreal and tell yourself you're worth it!

Next thing he'll be be changing his name to Doc Ginola

"

I’ll have to grow a lot more ear hair to pull off a Ginola

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it’s a protective thing, get in there before others say it, but I think it’s a good quality and women generally like it. Shows you don’t take yourself to seriously.

Oh it is a self-protective mechanism to stop people getting too close and to an extent act as a repellent.

There are always those that saw beyond me playing the fool and got through the defences and became friends. But on the whole it has worked well in preventing me from getting too close to people.

People like you."

Despite my defences I like people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Self-deprecation is a very British thing. I would think the majority of people on here display that to some extent. Cultural conditioning

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Ach, apologies Op, x

That being typed, I'd agree with a few comments; the whole "act" of self-deprecation is what makes you you and it's not a negative trait as such. I quite enjoy it. How do you stop it? That's a toughie, I imagine it's a bit of a learned behaviour by now. Stop before your post and think how you'd feel if a friend posted something like that? Crap advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Self-deprecation is a very British thing. I would think the majority of people on here display that to some extent. Cultural conditioning "

It is however being associated with it as a trait made me think about whether I wanted it to be so ‘loud’

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ach, apologies Op, x

That being typed, I'd agree with a few comments; the whole "act" of self-deprecation is what makes you you and it's not a negative trait as such. I quite enjoy it. How do you stop it? That's a toughie, I imagine it's a bit of a learned behaviour by now. Stop before your post and think how you'd feel if a friend posted something like that? Crap advice. "

Actually it’s good advice and so far is working. I don’t think I’ve been self-deprecating once today

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