FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty about health issues on fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Following on from a previous thread regarding swinging and mental health. Do you think or feel you should be told by a potential meet that they have mental health issues or other health issues?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I’d tell someone if I did I think and I’d rather be told. It’s not as easy as that though as I think some people who do have mental health problems either won’t admit it or don’t thing they do have issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe being honest on everything and everything is best.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm depressed I don't meet.

My anxiety is fine when I'm with them in person (it's the travelling to them that gets to me.

Not had a panic attack in the presence of a man yet, but they usually come about at night and I don't stay the night often.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if it might impact on our time together.

On that thread that I think you're referencing, I mentioned my issues with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I've had panic attacks during sex in the past but that hasn't happened for about seven or eight years now. However I always tell potential meets about that and why they've happened in the past. It's heavy stuff and I give them a bit of a get out clause when I tell them about it but people have always understood on here and my mental health hasn't effected that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do tell people I am bipolar.

I remember a thread ages ago on here of a woman saying openly she had genital warts or herpes and she wanted to be honest about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I'm depressed I don't meet.

My anxiety is fine when I'm with them in person (it's the travelling to them that gets to me.

Not had a panic attack in the presence of a man yet, but they usually come about at night and I don't stay the night often. "

Exactly the same as me. I'm currently not meeting as I'm in a depressed episode.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell people my triggers yes.

When I was recovering from a breakdown I told people. I didn't know how I'd be feeling from one day to the next, if something was gonna set off a bad day or an episode.

I didn't want anyone thinking I was making excuses for anything, so gave them the truth, up to them what they wanted to do with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if they want to and feel it may impact our time together.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I believe being honest on everything and everything is best."

Me too. Although I think I’m maybe too honest with people sometimes and it’s not always a good thing. I don’t see the point in not being. Unfortunately not everyone is the same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't necessarily. Depends on the relationship. If it is someone I'm meeting regularly then yes, I would. Sometimes my condition means I'm too exhausted/breathless to meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

I don't have any mental or other health issue, but if I did I'd certainly be upfront about them, as if like others to be, with me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I met a guy once who had heart problems and i didnt find out until after i was lovid. Also id want to know if someone was an epileptic. I also had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me once and i didnt know he was diabetic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'd be worried about people preying on my perceived vulnerability with that sort of disclosure. I'd only say if it was likely to have an effect on our time together.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think."

Even in this day and age?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I believe being honest on everything and everything is best.

Me too. Although I think I’m maybe too honest with people sometimes and it’s not always a good thing. I don’t see the point in not being. Unfortunately not everyone is the same

I don't think there is such a thing as too honest. No matter what, you should be true to yourself and true to the person you are meeting or communicating with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a guy once who had heart problems and i didnt find out until after i was lovid. Also id want to know if someone was an epileptic. I also had a guy go into a diabetic coma on me once and i didnt know he was diabetic"

I'm changing my answer! Great examples. I'd want to know about these too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Like anything, whether it be health (mental or physical) related or something else about yourself, I would only think it "necessary" to reveal it if it were either relevant or likely to impact the meet in any way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?"

Absolutely. You saw that other thread!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're qualified to make that call as to whether someone is potentially undiagnosed a/b/c/d and can are willing to engage on a "do no harm' basis. Doing so out of concern for their wellbeing, then yes, I don't see a problem.

It could turn into a fulltime job if you take on every person who may be suffering undiagnosed whatever. You're not at work now and have your own health and mental health to maintain.

I tend to open up and be honest, people seem to trust me for that and so are equally honest and open in return. By doing so I've learnt about abilities, conditions, health concerns and once you know more about them and the people with them. It's less and less of a barrier towards meeting them for friendship or fun.

Positive social environments are good for mental health. Mostly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be quite annoyed if someone keeled over mid fuck due to an undisclosed heart condition

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that. "

I'm just answering for me. Other people can do whatever they want.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Excuse typos!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I guess it depends on what the illness was and how well I knew the other person. I don’t think people need to put it on their profiles or on the forums. But if they have a regular friend it would be natural to discuss it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that.

I'm just answering for me. Other people can do whatever they want. "

Absolutely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Absolutely. You saw that other thread! "

I did! I think apart from that thread I've been extremely lucky and had huge support.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Excuse typos!"

No. Retype it.

No one likes a half-assed attempt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that.

I'm just answering for me. Other people can do whatever they want.

Absolutely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a heart condition. It generally doesn't impact me in anyway and very unlikely anything would happen. Therefore I don't really feel the need to tell someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Well said.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?"

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"Excuse typos!

No. Retype it.

No one likes a half-assed attempt. "

What’s with you riding me?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Only if they want to and feel it may impact our time together."

This and or if we have become close then it's good to be able to talk and listen.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm depressed I don't meet.

My anxiety is fine when I'm with them in person (it's the travelling to them that gets to me.

Not had a panic attack in the presence of a man yet, but they usually come about at night and I don't stay the night often.

Exactly the same as me. I'm currently not meeting as I'm in a depressed episode. "

It's easy to shut down on here for a while when you aren't feeling up to it. I'll still meet my regular partners as they don't take too much brain work.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions."

I actually tell men I can't wank you for long as I've had both wrists broken and it hurts to wank for too long! Same with blow jobs, I get a locked jaw.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions."

Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you. "

Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

ok here is my answer ive always told people about my illnes not in the first message but once im comfortable. Ive never once had a negative. I get questions and answer them quite often theyve never met anyone with my illness and i cant blame there ignorance. I have a lot of regular guys who ive been seeing years and they are brilliant with me and sometimes worry. One in particilar worries more when im ill and even travels over to see me when he knows sex isnt on the cards. They love me and accept my illness is part of me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

If I think it would affect our time together I tell people what is is hard boundary as theses could set off my issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eriousGuyABCMan
over a year ago

( WEST OF ) Chippenham ish

"I believe being honest on everything and everything is best."

Exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?"

Yes, unfortunately so. Although we are encouraged to become more open and talk there is a long way to go. There is more support accessible for men too but it still isn't widely acknowledged.

I also feel that in the world of sex and relationships it could be used to take advantage of someone or to gain sympathy. Sorry for the cynicism

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"ok here is my answer ive always told people about my illnes not in the first message but once im comfortable. Ive never once had a negative. I get questions and answer them quite often theyve never met anyone with my illness and i cant blame there ignorance. I have a lot of regular guys who ive been seeing years and they are brilliant with me and sometimes worry. One in particilar worries more when im ill and even travels over to see me when he knows sex isnt on the cards. They love me and accept my illness is part of me"

I have this too, if I've not messaged back etc they worry, they then message my couples profile to check with hubby if I'm ok. There are some very sweet people people around and on fab xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I believe being honest on everything and everything is best.

Exactly

In an ideal world, yes. But we don't live in that world.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.

Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard.

It works

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be worried about people preying on my perceived vulnerability with that sort of disclosure. I'd only say if it was likely to have an effect on our time together. "

Exactly this!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective

That is awful! Safe to say there was only 1 person in the defective category

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"I guess it depends on what the illness was and how well I knew the other person. I don’t think people need to put it on their profiles or on the forums. But if they have a regular friend it would be natural to discuss it. "

This

Its no secret that I'm bipolar, but it doesn't define me and I wouldn't feel the need to bring it up with everyone I chat to or arrange a coffee with, anymore than I would make a point of telling everyone I've a food allergy. If I'm concerned myself that it may become an issue, then I'll say it, but otherwise it wouldn't even occur to me.

If people see this and decide they don't want to meet me, I'm not too worried tbh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective

That is awful! Safe to say there was only 1 person in the defective category "

Exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Only if it’s relevant.

I think being open is something personal and reduces stigma, especially ignorant stigma; however unless it’s something that affects or maybbe triggered by sex then it’s not personally something I’d expect someone to be open about with me.

Respect is a big deal when it comes to sex, whether with one offs or regular meets. So if you’re going to respect someone’s body you should respect the mind in that body too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only if it’s relevant.

Respect is a big deal when it comes to sex, whether with one offs or regular meets. So if you’re going to respect someone’s body you should respect the mind in that body too"

For me it is about mutual respect. The mind is the most important to me. Being totally honest puts me at ease as well. Hopefully the other person as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

also i have a habit of just fucking off and ghosting people so i think they have a right to no this is going to happen and i will be back when im ready

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.

Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking. "

Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.

When I mention my deafness it’s usually in an established conversation and for the respondent to suddenly talk to me like they’re talking to someone with severe handicaps is absolutely gutting. Just carry on normally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I also have a blind friend id be a bit fucking shocked if i hadnt of known before we met

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.

Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.

Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.

I think it'd lead to some very funny moments with me initially, because I'd forget.. talk to you from other side of the room or from the loo (classy me). 5min conversation without realising you can't hear me. Hazard of waffling on I guess. happens with most non-deaf people who talk to me too.. they just wander off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s horrendous!! That’s right up there to tell someone!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

This is very true!

I’ve come across quite a few people on fab who are clearly severely emotionally fucked up - but unfortunately haven’t found out until it was too late and the damage had been done!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.

Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.

Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.

This happens all the time. You chat away and I’m in ignorant bliss. It does make for funny moments. ‘If it’s important text me’ is a rule I often make.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"also i have a habit of just fucking off and ghosting people so i think they have a right to no this is going to happen and i will be back when im ready"

I wish more people were as honest as this. At least your friends know its a possibility and why. I'm usually left wondering what 'I' did wrong in that situation and tormenting myself analysing conversations, etc., to try to figure out why someone just decided to cut me out, particularly if everything has been going great and it all suddenly stops.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"also i have a habit of just fucking off and ghosting people so i think they have a right to no this is going to happen and i will be back when im ready

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.

Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.

Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.

This happens all the time. You chat away and I’m in ignorant bliss. It does make for funny moments. ‘If it’s important text me’ is a rule I often make. "

That makes sense. I don't know any deaf people, but I'd like to

So long as they accept my non-deaf stupidity

I learn quick.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

We had a picture deleted for showing my boyfriends disability (we wanted to be open about it) it was classed as too rude for this site. I keep everything to myself unless i meet in person now, fuck the people who reported someone for being disabled (not literally unless up the ass with something spiky).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective

That is awful! Safe to say there was only 1 person in the defective category

Exactly

It was a group meet, and no one had any difficulties avoiding the sore spot. It's hardly an imposition ffs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Other sites have had no problem with the pic or our disabilities.

Personally i would consider a lot of trust needed to make yourself vulnerable anyway so it's probably better being 'discreet' on here anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Hell no. I've too many to list as it is.

Unless that person is beyond temporary, not their business

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I have issues but I don't divulge them to people I'm meeting as it makes no difference to the time we spend together. If we become friends I would though.

I'd like to be told of anything like epilepsy just in case something happened.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Other sites have had no problem with the pic or our disabilities.

Personally i would consider a lot of trust needed to make yourself vulnerable anyway so it's probably better being 'discreet' on here anyway."

I don’t see the need to put personal stuff on my profile anyway. As long as you’re honest with anyone you’re thinking of meeting I think that’s enough. I don’t really want the rest of fab knowing anything about me at all to be honest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etite HandfulWoman
over a year ago

Chester

"Following on from a previous thread regarding swinging and mental health. Do you think or feel you should be told by a potential meet that they have mental health issues or other health issues? "

In general no but if its extreme or could put others in danger then yes. Mental health is a broad spectrum so it very much depends on how it affects them and others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Other sites have had no problem with the pic or our disabilities.

Personally i would consider a lot of trust needed to make yourself vulnerable anyway so it's probably better being 'discreet' on here anyway.

He uses aides so we wanted to be upfront about that. But yeah i pretty much deleted my profile text and using other sites to meet people or meeting on my own from here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ddit...Man
over a year ago

Land of the giants... ;-)

Only if it affects the other person ... I guess...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"I had an injury last year, mentioned in passing that although I was mostly OK, be a bit gentle with this bit because it hurts grabbing it too hard. I got abuse for being on Fab while defective

Wtf?

Nobody should "have to" disclose anything they are uncomfortable with, although it seems to be the norm that you give a new partner the courtesy of telling them anything you think could have any ramifications. Only the individual knows their conditions and any stressors/triggers, and it is polite to let the other party know if this could cause issue..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"We had a picture deleted for showing my boyfriends disability (we wanted to be open about it) it was classed as too rude for this site. I keep everything to myself unless i meet in person now, fuck the people who reported someone for being disabled (not literally unless up the ass with something spiky)."

On my previous profile I arrived for a meet to discover she had neglected to say anything about being wheelchair bound and with numerous other ailments. The crane into the hospital bed in the living room was not the most enticing of boudoir locations..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

But some people wouldn't mind that, maybe they had an ex or now partner who is disabled and uses those aides and sex would be normal for them with this woman. Maybe there's a lot of people not participating in swinging because their disability is not preprsented as normal on the scene (no clubs have had a problem with us btw and been encouraging).

It's hard really, you don't want to be fetishized for your disability but you also don't wanna freak people out either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn woman who is you fucking!?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

It's hard really, you don't want to be fetishized for your disability but you also don't wanna freak people out either.

From my point of view I would have liked to have known that someone I was going to meet had only very limited mobility.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be quite annoyed if someone keeled over mid fuck due to an undisclosed heart condition "

This might be a bit dramatic but if someone is in your home and has an episode of illness or something then it'd be great if you were prepared. If it's a mental health issue an episode that gets out of control could cause problems with neighbours work etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if its a danger to others or infectious yes other wise in the main no its unnecessary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Tricky, they may not know. I'm not sure on this one. Far too much stigma attached I think.

Even in this day and age?

Oh yes. Try telling someone that you’re deaf. Watch them change the way they talk to you.

Would you prefer if they asked if you can lip read? I'd be more conscious about facing them when talking.

Probably fairer if I clarified. I’m partially deaf. It affects my speech and high/low pitches and the general rule of thumb is if I can’t see you I can’t hear you.

Tried to pm you about this x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I’d tell someone if I did I think and I’d rather be told. It’s not as easy as that though as I think some people who do have mental health problems either won’t admit it or don’t thing they do have issues. "
wow I feel like I’m on there verge of falling into a downward spiral of depression something that I’ve never suffered from before and I’m trying so hard not to slip....trying to keep my head above water and it’s so hard.....feels like I’m fighting losing battle....I know there are ppl out there that are in a worse situation than me.....I don’t think it’s embarrassing to admit that I’m struggling I just want someone to hear me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

Same. I have to mention my wheelchair cos there's no getting away from it (literally) but that's all I do say unless I get any relevant questions.

If a potential meet started telling me their medical history I'd be put off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a ingrowing toenail which can effect my mental health if not properly manicured.Symptoms may include distraction,anxiety, misunderstanding or worse of all blood poisoning.If I cannot find my clippers on those days I may pull out of meets as one brush against soft flesh is likely to send me into paroxysms of pain and not pleasure. Can someone advise me as this is tearing my life apart as well as my toe on a bad day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. "
some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

Same. I have to mention my wheelchair cos there's no getting away from it (literally) but that's all I do say unless I get any relevant questions.

If a potential meet started telling me their medical history I'd be put off."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know "

Absolutely, my post doesn’t state you can’t disclose if you would like to or find it helpful to - quite the opposite. Simply, no one *has* to disclose and no one has the right to expect or demand they do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a ingrowing toenail which can effect my mental health if not properly manicured.Symptoms may include distraction,anxiety, misunderstanding or worse of all blood poisoning.If I cannot find my clippers on those days I may pull out of meets as one brush against soft flesh is likely to send me into paroxysms of pain and not pleasure. Can someone advise me as this is tearing my life apart as well as my toe on a bad day."
Humour and mental health.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather know about anything that could be a problem during a meet. If there was the slightest chance someone could take ill or become aggressive or violent, I need to know beforehand so I can decide if I actually want to meet them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I think people are far too open on here. It's just a fuck.

If it’s just a fuck then fair enough but not everyone does that. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Since my health issue is that I have an ileostomy, if we fuck, you are bound to find out.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My preference meeting wise is not doing one off meets. So whilst getting to know someone I would like to think if there was a medical / mental health condition that could impact on or time together, that I would be told.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I only think it's necessary to mention a health problem if it will, or could, impact on a meet.

The examples of diabetes and epilepsy given, are ones I would expect to be mentioned.

Nita

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.

I actually tell men I can't wank you for long as I've had both wrists broken and it hurts to wank for too long! Same with blow jobs, I get a locked jaw. "

Ooh I think I’ve the same condition as you, life’s a bummer! just hope the guys are understanding

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I wouldn’t share anything unless I felt it could have a direct impact on a meet. Some things have to be private surely.

If it’s a regular meet, I suppose over time you naturally get to know more about each other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ade and VanessaCouple
over a year ago

Central Scotland

Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.

I have type 1 diabetes so would give a wee heads up on some things and I have a glucose monitor on my arm and an insulin pump (although I've taken that off for clubs and parties) so explain those a bit. Only because they're obvious things to see. I don't go in to hypos etc as my husband is with me and he knows what to look for and do if needed. If I were ever alone then I'd need to explain that.

V x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it had the potential to have a negative impact on our time together, then yes, I'd like to be informed beforehand.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one has a right to know someone else’s health condition. We all have a responsibility to look after our own health and be responsible in mnagaing our own health where it could impact another. That doesn’t mean we have to disclose personal health statuses unless we with to. People that want to know the health status of another person can absolutely can ask. They may or may not be told. They can do with that what they wish. some ppl are not as strong as others....how 1 person deals with a situation another person deals with it completely different because we’re not all built the same....example some ppl are horrified at the site of spiders insects where another person wouldn’t bat an eyelid.....myself personally I find it helps to talk and to talk to a complete stranger not someone I know

Absolutely agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would yes. The people I have sex with are friends I don't do random meets so I would be honest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.

V x"

My bag is the reason I don't go to clubs where you have to wear a towel/be naked. I have a support belt thingy, but I definitely don't feel comfortable wandering around like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

Health issues such as STD, yes disclose, because you need to be responsible re passing it on. Diabetes which is performance related, or epelipcy, heart conditions, asthma there are obvious H&S issues.

Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.

V x

My bag is the reason I don't go to clubs where you have to wear a towel/be naked. I have a support belt thingy, but I definitely don't feel comfortable wandering around like that. "

My sister had the bag but then had it reversed. I can understand where your coming from x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim."
stds is a good one

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed sti

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.

Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard.

I still work hard; I just can't have my legs pulled wide apart, or squat, or put my leg back over my head.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

Mental, I wouldn't. I don't know anyone that's not had a mental issue/ event in their life, but I wouldn't shout about it. I personally don't want to have a label and be seen as a victim."

Who sounds like they're proud to have a label?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed sti"
undisclosed not undiagnosed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following on from a previous thread regarding swinging and mental health. Do you think or feel you should be told by a potential meet that they have mental health issues or other health issues? "

I definitely think it’s a good idea, some people don’t understand mental health in any form and that can cause issues for both or all involved.

I don’t think it’s anything to feel ashamed of and hopefully it would help narrow down the messages from the people that actually want to treat you like a human and not a piece of meat you can fuck... this goes for both men and women btw

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed"

How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed

How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?"
people with genital warts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

people with hiv

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I always mention my arthritis as that affects certain sexual positions.

Mmmmm, I’m now considering faking conditions in order to not have to work so hard.

I still work hard; I just can't have my legs pulled wide apart, or squat, or put my leg back over my head."

Certainly didn’t mean *you* don’t work hard! It just gave me a naughty idea.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed

How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?"

Exactly - this is where in my comment I referred to managing your own health and it’s potential to have impact on others.

Someone that thinks exposing someone else to contracting an infectious STI through risky sex is alright is unlikely to be someone thinking of others enough to disclose so it’s really a moot point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed

How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?

Exactly - this is where in my comment I referred to managing your own health and it’s potential to have impact on others.

Someone that thinks exposing someone else to contracting an infectious STI through risky sex is alright is unlikely to be someone thinking of others enough to disclose so it’s really a moot point. "
would you be happy for someone to go into a diabetic coma or have an epileptic seizure without any prior warning

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's necessary only if it's likely to have a bearing on a meeting or relationship. Not everything does.

However, as you get to know someone more things often get discussed because of trust and friendship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"You sound like you're proud to have a label, but it does make you vulnerable.

I wonder if some people would be happy to contract an undiagnosed stiundisclosed not undiagnosed

How many people would meet knowing they had an sti?

Exactly - this is where in my comment I referred to managing your own health and it’s potential to have impact on others.

Someone that thinks exposing someone else to contracting an infectious STI through risky sex is alright is unlikely to be someone thinking of others enough to disclose so it’s really a moot point. would you be happy for someone to go into a diabetic coma or have an epileptic seizure without any prior warning"

That doesn’t correlate with what I’m saying. I don’t have a right to know someone’s health conditions just because I might prefer them to tell me. That doesn’t mean I’d be happy for someone to have a diabetic coma or epileptic fit. I’d help someone if having a medical emergency - I do so regularly at work - it doesn’t give me the right to know, however angry I might be as a response (I wouldn’t be angry to be honest). I hope someone would feel comfortable to tell me, it would also allow me to be better able to assist - but that doesn’t mean they are obliged to tell me, nor should it ever.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe in certain instances they should tell me, not necessarily that they're obliged to tell me.

Out of interest, are there any medical conditions that they are required to tell you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I believe in certain instances they should tell me, not necessarily that they're obliged to tell me.

Out of interest, are there any medical conditions that they are required to tell you? "

Well a GP for example would override confidentiality of a patient if there was potential of a serious communicable diseases or serious crime.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I believe in certain instances they should tell me, not necessarily that they're obliged to tell me.

Out of interest, are there any medical conditions that they are required to tell you?

Well a GP for example would override confidentiality of a patient if there was potential of a serious communicable diseases or serious crime."

Fair enough. Is the individual obligated to disclose the information at all?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. "
There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets. "

I'd assume if he disclosed that information (and potential meets had the capacity to understand), he wouldn't be prosecuted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 16/03/19 21:29:57]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets. "

And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.

And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices. "

In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.

And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.

In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice? "

Not sure I follow your question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.

And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.

In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice?

Not sure I follow your question."

If the outcome of the reckless choice was particularly severe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"If you're having protected sex there's no law saying you must tell your partners that you have HIV, for example.

However, there’s a risk of being prosecuted for reckless transmission of HIV if you had sex with someone who didn’t know you had HIV, you knew you had it and how it can be transmitted and you had unprotected sex, and transmitted it to them. There was an older guy on here in his 60s he had that he was hiv positive on his profile and he was looking for bi bareback meets.

And if someone consents to do that with him and contracts HIV they did so knowingly, and he is not guilty of anything. They’re both entitled to make reckless consensual choices.

In that case I'd agree, but would it not depend on the severity of the reckless choice?

Not sure I follow your question.

If the outcome of the reckless choice was particularly severe. "

Then what?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe. "

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful. "

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful. "

I’d need an example to mull over. Typically the law requires mens rea and actus reus, so intent is important.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder. "

I remember that one. Wasn't there another guy who wanted his penis removed?

I know these are at the very extreme end of the spectrum!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder. "

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume."

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it. "

Ah but being killed is not something you can legally give consent to. Thus legally it would be murder, not manslaughter, I believe. I think the German chap was convicted of manslaughter initially as their was evidence of the consent but was later tried and prosecuted for murder.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.

Dammit *there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.

Dammit *there"

I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.

Dammit *there

I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism? "

Don’t think there’s actually a law against it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume."

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.

Dammit *there

I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism?

Don’t think there’s actually a law against it! "

There’s a law in Texas that you can’t put ice cream in your back pocket but cannibalism is fine ?! Mad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway? "

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway? "

That’s manslaughter. But my earlier comment about entitled to make reckless choices was about consent and people being entitled to live their lives how they choose (if legal mental capacity is there). It doesn’t mean someone wouldn’t be prosecuted if they broke a law.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ? "

Physical harm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

But if someone knowingly made reckless choices wouldn’t their mental health be questioned due to that ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked in nental health for many years, the us and them thing was never my thing. My late sister had mental health issues, I can never be in judgement of another person, though its a very great thing.#

*sobbing...but I know what is, it is, and it is...

its a sad reasoning that works x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

Yes, I suppose so. Although as he volunteered would it like an assisted suicide/manslaughter ?

Sorry to go off topic, it was the concent to reckless choices that reminded me of it.

Dammit *there

I wonder if he got extra time for cannibalism?

Don’t think there’s actually a law against it!

There’s a law in Texas that you can’t put ice cream in your back pocket but cannibalism is fine ?! Mad

I can’t attest to it not being illegal in every US state, in England and Germany I believe it isn’t illegal - you would undoubtedly be falling foul of a law though - grievous bodily harm or some such variant or murder etc depending on the outcome. Just no specific law on cannibalism per se.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?

Physical harm. "

Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ave0001Man
over a year ago

warrington

No why would it be an issue?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

But if someone knowingly made reckless choices wouldn’t their mental health be questioned due to that ? "

It very much could be, yes. Capacity could be looked at, but someone with capacity has the right to live their life how they would like whatever anyone else thinks, as long as it’s within the law. I’m not suggesting for one minute that there shouldn’t be a safeguarding or similar concern if someone appears to be putting themselves or others at risk of harm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?

Physical harm.

Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ? "

Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?

Physical harm.

Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?

Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that. "

Depends what you were charging someone with, again there’d typically be the mens rea and actus reus needed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?

Physical harm.

Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?

Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that. "

I think if entering into play that has the potential for harm some people have consent forms and disclaimers to protect both parties , not spontaneous and probably over the top for average kinksters but I can see why they have a place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying should happen if the results are severe.

That in some instances consent to reckless choices doesn't mean it's lawful.

Yeah there was the guy in Germany I think that advertised that he wanted to eat someone , someone volunteered, so it was consensual, it was still deemed to be murder.

Ah but the intent here was to kill - so therefore would be murder, and thus unlawful, I presume.

I understand the intent to kill was there in that case, but what about when it's not intended but death occurs anyway?

Do you mean by transmission of a disease ? Or by physical harm ?

Physical harm.

Like a consensual choking gone wrong type thing ?

Yes or something that lead to permanent scarring. I'm interested to know where the law stands on that.

Depends what you were charging someone with, again there’d typically be the mens rea and actus reus needed."
what does that mean

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Depends what you were charging someone with, again there’d typically be the mens rea and actus reus needed.what does that mean"

Actus reus means the "guilty act" which, when proved beyond a reasonable doubt in combination with the mens rea, "guilty mind", produces criminal liability.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't expect to be fully informed of potential meets health conditions, unlike a health insurer. Many aspects of health are highly personal and not well understood by the general population - the meet might be taken solely to educate the standard level of ignorance that we have.

It's useful to inform a potential meet if there's something that could reasonably involve them. This still may not mean a full diagnosis but an intelligible overview of pertinent details, such a 'I have this x and it might mean y, whilst we're meeting' This makes others informed, letting them decide to meet with those circumstances. If something is of very great insignificance, not particularly likely to occur and is widespread, I'd probably not expect to be informed.

Mental health issues are unfortunate and tough for many people to endure and try to cope with. I'd hope that they didn't exacerbate their problem through pressure to out themselves to someone they don't know, such as to me before a meet.

Probably better to think in terms of the symptoms and not the condition, where someone like me is involved. There's limited, to no right to know, nor to expect that people who we engage with in life are in full good health. There's just a thoughtful consideration for others, where they may be subject to some impact, beyond investing time etc for a meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Only if it's pertinent to the situation. If it's a long term fwb then best to be discussed I think.

V x

My bag is the reason I don't go to clubs where you have to wear a towel/be naked. I have a support belt thingy, but I definitely don't feel comfortable wandering around like that. "

Have you tried calling the club beforehand? We found the first club we went to were very supportive of my partner and made us feel at ease (we were already there by then and i didn't realise my partner was worried about anything until he asked me to talk to the staff and see if they were ok with him), they even said if anyone said anything about his condition to tell the staff and they would deal with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Some very thoughtful and good threads on here at the moment. Thanks OP.

I would be honest with potential meets about health issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a few others on here I’d disclose anything likely to have an impact or potential impact on my meet, and likewise would prefer to know the samecin return. Some good examples above (epilepsy, diabetic comas etc)

But on a casual sex site I don’t need to know your full medical history if it’s not going to impact our meet. Mental health issue? Will it (potentially) impact our meet .. if yes, tell me about it so I’m well informed to handle it should anything arise. If no, I don’t need to know!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread