FabSwingers.com forum: Mental health support thread...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Let's get chatting guys and girls

My current experience... I had a long chat with one of my managers about some of my nasty shit, it helped me to acknowledge a feeling of guilt I've had for eleven years, acknowledged it and let it just flow by, but it helped me talk about some things that I've kept inside for years and years. Although a couple of days after, another colleague told me that I should stop burdening other people with my mental health issues! A couple of days later I told my GM, he said I shouldn't have to put up with it and he's having a word with him. I am so bloody grateful to work in an understanding work place that's also a bit of a 'safe place' for me.

So how's everyone else?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's get chatting guys and girls

So how's everyone else?

I love this how your GM and how they reacted, it means a lot to be able to speak to people and few the weight of our problems lift a little, I myself suffer and try to be an advocate for people to speak to and break the stigma

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I feel I don’t have any superiors at work I could open upto I do have friends at work I can and have opened up to, having someone that listens to each word without being dismissive, means a lot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am about to change my job, I’ve had a bad few months within myself and to be honest the forums and a few lovely people on here have really helped! Being off work for a while made me realise I can’t go back into such a stressful position, interview Wednesday so fingers crossed x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been having a stressful few months, trying to get Day service in place for my eldest son and all that entails, then just had my youngest sons pip review and his esa next week so am feeling a bit under pressure. But I know that these things will hopefully go as well as can be. I don’t like to burden other people with my problems so try to work them out as best I can. The downside to being a single parent x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am about to change my job, I’ve had a bad few months within myself and to be honest the forums and a few lovely people on here have really helped! Being off work for a while made me realise I can’t go back into such a stressful position, interview Wednesday so fingers crossed x"

That’s great news to have an outlet where you feel like you can talk freely, ahhhhh exciting news for the interview then, good luck for the interview is it much of a change from your job now? X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Great to hear of the support you have had yvaine

I'm pretty vocal about these sorts of things now after realising about ten months ago i was heading into a bit of a dark place.

I confronted it, talked to docs and local mental health services, went on CBT for 6 weeks and came out of it better. I left the job that I was doing as this was a contributing factor and havent been able to get near another job since but am happy in myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s great news to have an outlet where you feel like you can talk freely, ahhhhh exciting news for the interview then, good luck for the interview is it much of a change from your job now? X"

Same line different part of it , thank you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruly50Woman
over a year ago

ely

I’ve been to the doctor today. Finally faced up to my issues just talking to him helped put some of my problems into perspective. I have a stressful job where I feel I can’t show any weakness to anyone and I have no real friends I can talk to. I’ve been isolating myself for the last couple of years telling myself I like being alone in reality it’s probably the worst thing I can do but I can’t bring myself to open up to anyone. So as of today I need to make changes to keep the blackness at bay.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

When I got made redundant back in 2006 I fell into a state of depression and just want to kill myself I had a bit of help but still really don't feel like me anymore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I’ve been to the doctor today. Finally faced up to my issues just talking to him helped put some of my problems into perspective. I have a stressful job where I feel I can’t show any weakness to anyone and I have no real friends I can talk to. I’ve been isolating myself for the last couple of years telling myself I like being alone in reality it’s probably the worst thing I can do but I can’t bring myself to open up to anyone. So as of today I need to make changes to keep the blackness at bay."

That's a first step and the biggest, well done, a second is talking it through on here. Well done and be kind to yourself x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly love that this thread is happening, if anyone ever wants to chat or just have someone listen I’m here just message with mental health as a subject, I’ve been very effected by such and I know that there will be people that look at this thread but wish not to post... everyone feel free to message privately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My door is always open to my staff... I went through a rough period a few years ago and my "bosses" were not there for me. I had to quit my job to help myself through it. The toxic environment was bad but a couple of months off done me the world of good and now I'm in a much better place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"When I got made redundant back in 2006 I fell into a state of depression and just want to kill myself I had a bit of help but still really don't feel like me anymore."

I don't think you an ever strive for what or where you once were. You are wiser and know far more about you - and I bet have plenty positives, the biggest being you didn't do what you felt like doing. Acknowledge that journey. I think you have done great putting a post up about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"My door is always open to my staff... I went through a rough period a few years ago and my "bosses" were not there for me. I had to quit my job to help myself through it. The toxic environment was bad but a couple of months off done me the world of good and now I'm in a much better place.

Top man

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These posts are super important and can be a great comfort, thank you OP x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Whilst I feel I don’t have any superiors at work I could open upto I do have friends at work I can and have opened up to, having someone that listens to each word without being dismissive, means a lot"

That's great! Keep up the good work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm waiting on a referral to local ADHD clinic, up to 18 weeks wait so got another 2 months to go :D

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

I will keep everything crossed for you. Well done you, as I'm finding, interviews are hard to come by!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been back to the doctor today to ask for help. The last few months have been a struggle and a step backwards but I know that this isn't how it's meant to be. Ready to step it up and fight this once again. Much love to all in the same boat x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I'm waiting on a referral to local ADHD clinic, up to 18 weeks wait so got another 2 months to go :D

It'll soon get there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These posts are super important and can be a great comfort, thank you OP x"

I agree we should keep posts like this going just somewhere to air so thank you OP, plus hope to hear about this interview x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting on a referral to local ADHD clinic, up to 18 weeks wait so got another 2 months to go :D

Hope you don’t have to wait too long x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Been back to the doctor today to ask for help. The last few months have been a struggle and a step backwards but I know that this isn't how it's meant to be. Ready to step it up and fight this once again. Much love to all in the same boat x "

Sending support and many positive thoughts. It might be a part of you but it doesn't control you x That's what I've learned.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse. "

I hope you keep going, keep applying and eventually you’ll find the right job, which will make it all worth it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruly50Woman
over a year ago

ely

That's a first step and the biggest, well done, a second is talking it through on here. Well done and be kind to yourself x"

Thanks, I find it so difficult to talk honestly with anyone. I spend most of my time at work keeping everyone else happy and neglect myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I’ve been having a stressful few months, trying to get Day service in place for my eldest son and all that entails, then just had my youngest sons pip review and his esa next week so am feeling a bit under pressure. But I know that these things will hopefully go as well as can be. I don’t like to burden other people with my problems so try to work them out as best I can. The downside to being a single parent x "

Just don't keep them bottled angie x

You do a magnificent job and don't ever forget it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm waiting on a referral to local ADHD clinic, up to 18 weeks wait so got another 2 months to go :D

Hope you don’t have to wait too long x"

Thanks

I got the ball rolling in December, already waited 4 months so another two cant hurt

Ah, the joys of chronic underfunding.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

How do I feel? Shit. But i dont want to talk about it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I left one shit job to start one that I thought was better. Thing is the new job was full of shit, and the management were Napolian complex bullies, who went out of their way to torment me. Things were getting worse and I couldn’t see how I was going to get by without chinning one of them. Then I got a message from my old place asking me to come back. I took them up on it, and now I feel blessed. Good shit can happen some time.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

That's a first step and the biggest, well done, a second is talking it through on here. Well done and be kind to yourself x

Thanks, I find it so difficult to talk honestly with anyone. I spend most of my time at work keeping everyone else happy and neglect myself. "

I've been pretty similar when in my working capacity. Threads like this are good. As I say, celebrate the little things. Time for you to look after yourself, it's not being selfish, its about taking that time for you and that's so important.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use to work in mental health and it’s good that you was able to talk to someone because unless you acknowledge you have a problem then you can get help, but most places are a where and have support in the work place now of days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending support and many positive thoughts. It might be a part of you but it doesn't control you x That's what I've learned."

Thankyou

it'll always be a part but never the biggest bit. Onwards and upwards..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I left one shit job to start one that I thought was better. Thing is the new job was full of shit, and the management were Napolian complex bullies, who went out of their way to torment me. Things were getting worse and I couldn’t see how I was going to get by without chinning one of them. Then I got a message from my old place asking me to come back. I took them up on it, and now I feel blessed. Good shit can happen some time.

Excellent

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

Mental health is thankfully becoming more understood. Ie you aint a fruit case, just having a melt down because the pressure has got too much.

In fact it tends to be the ones that externally try to portray strength, but really they are soft caring individuals. But life and circumstances requires them carry on with the "Stiff upper lip" way.

Just an opinion...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do I feel? Shit. But i dont want to talk about it"

It can help to talk but only when your ready

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Sending support and many positive thoughts. It might be a part of you but it doesn't control you x That's what I've learned.

Thankyou

it'll always be a part but never the biggest bit. Onwards and upwards.. "

Definitely upwards...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

I hope you keep going, keep applying and eventually you’ll find the right job, which will make it all worth it"

Thanks

Struggling to keep up the faith but I'm trying to keep going

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't keep them bottled angie x

You do a magnificent job and don't ever forget it

Thanks hello, I try and talk but I’ve had to keep everything to myself for such a long time it’s hard to open up now x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lot more younger people are suffering Mental Health issues and it’s needs more money putting in mental health because sometime the waiting list to see someone comes to late for some

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

I hope you keep going, keep applying and eventually you’ll find the right job, which will make it all worth it

Thanks

Struggling to keep up the faith but I'm trying to keep going"

You will get that job very soon!

I am in this similar position of trying not to get too downhearted about jobs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

I hope you keep going, keep applying and eventually you’ll find the right job, which will make it all worth it

Thanks

Struggling to keep up the faith but I'm trying to keep going"

After I graduated I felt very similar myself, so you’re not alone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more you bottle it in the worse your mental heath will get, believe me as soon as you get it off your chest and chat to someone you will feel a lot better and get the help and support you need

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

"I lot more younger people are suffering Mental Health issues and it’s needs more money putting in mental health because sometime the waiting list to see someone comes to late for some "

Would any of us maybe say it could be because life is more complex in todays society?

We have multiple kids, I mean multiple btw lol.... and social media, new silly trends, peer pressure along with the nonsense of knife crime etc..

Its proper tough for these kids, and dare I say it? The parents also!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been battling demons for near 10 years now, but the last few months have been very tough, I've decided to go back to my gp tomorrow, I really don't want to go back on meds but I feel I've no other choice. Just a few hours ago my mate called in for a chat and was the best chat I had in months, he really helped me by just listening to me, and he still called into see me after I ignored his calls due to me feeling crap, he's a true mate and goes to show you should never forget about your mates.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lot more younger people are suffering Mental Health issues and it’s needs more money putting in mental health because sometime the waiting list to see someone comes to late for some

Would any of us maybe say it could be because life is more complex in todays society?

We have multiple kids, I mean multiple btw lol.... and social media, new silly trends, peer pressure along with the nonsense of knife crime etc..

Its proper tough for these kids, and dare I say it? The parents also!"

Couldn't agree more.

Although 'older generations' still had magazines and TV to tell them what they need to look like, we've now got everyone over the age of 11 using social media.

Call me an old fart but I think selfie culture is an absolute cancer on society, everyone spends too much time focusing on looking good to other people, not only does it damage self esteem, but you then don't find fulfilment with other areas of life.

Not sure how it is for women in the dating world, but I know countless women whos entire list of hobbies is 'Take selfies on snapchat, gossip, drink alcohol, repeat'.

HOWEVER, at the same time, easy access to social media means we can find others we relate to much easier. It's easier for kids to learn that it's normal to feel sad for no reason, or want to hurt yourself or whatever. It's definitely a double edged sword

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse. "

Maybe you don't have to be the sole provider. I mean I get where your coming from but that is a lot to carry. I hope you find someone you pull together with, take care of each other and share any burden x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I lot more younger people are suffering Mental Health issues and it’s needs more money putting in mental health because sometime the waiting list to see someone comes to late for some

Would any of us maybe say it could be because life is more complex in todays society?

We have multiple kids, I mean multiple btw lol.... and social media, new silly trends, peer pressure along with the nonsense of knife crime etc..

Its proper tough for these kids, and dare I say it? The parents also!"

I think you've raised a good point. I do some volunteering and work with a few younger people on a Wednesday and they definitely seem to have more anxiety than I certainly did when I was their age, brought on by the supposed social norms, going along with social media, peer pressure etc..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lot more younger people are suffering Mental Health issues and it’s needs more money putting in mental health because sometime the waiting list to see someone comes to late for some

Would any of us maybe say it could be because life is more complex in todays society?

We have multiple kids, I mean multiple btw lol.... and social media, new silly trends, peer pressure along with the nonsense of knife crime etc..

Its proper tough for these kids, and dare I say it? The parents also!"

I think we all fee the pressures of life to be the best and comparing to others, rather than learning to love ourselves, there needs to be better funding for such areas to further understand how we can help

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Let's get chatting guys and girls

So how's everyone else?

Me too I like the way the GM reacted. That other person has a bad attitude.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I've been battling demons for near 10 years now, but the last few months have been very tough, I've decided to go back to my gp tomorrow, I really don't want to go back on meds but I feel I've no other choice. Just a few hours ago my mate called in for a chat and was the best chat I had in months, he really helped me by just listening to me, and he still called into see me after I ignored his calls due to me feeling crap, he's a true mate and goes to show you should never forget about your mates."

Well done! And well done to your mate as well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done! And well done to your mate as well

Thank you

it's genuinely so nice to have such positive support from strangers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's get chatting guys and girls

So how's everyone else?

Things have definitely improved in the last ten years. Certainly didn't discuss mental health when I was at school!

I have mental health issues and have no problem discussing them but not everyone knows how to handle it and can find it embarrassing x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are lots more pressure on young people today with social media and expectations and about jobs and life itself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am learning how to adapt to been a single mum.

And have really learnt about self reflection,it is tough,but I am amazed at how far I have come.

but I am also struggling little now that I am coming out of a different position in my life, than my friends who are now settling down and buying houses having kids etc, so it's now trying to find new Journeys.

Plus the dating world is mind boggling so even though I am confident at times.

And I am staying true to myself.

I still have the fear of the shit that happened with my ex will happen again so thrust is the big issue that I have to work on.

And that little nagging voice that sometime tells me that I am worthless and no guy wants a relationship with you a single mum, you are only a good time girl not the long term girl.

but that doesn't happen often,As I learnt to deal with it and to let it pass.

Every day is a learning day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But unless you worked in mental health or know someone who had mental mental problems or had mental mental problems yourself no ones knows what it’s like.and how it can destroy someone’s life and there family lives too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Let's get chatting guys and girls

So how's everyone else?

Things have definitely improved in the last ten years. Certainly didn't discuss mental health when I was at school!

I have mental health issues and have no problem discussing them but not everyone knows how to handle it and can find it embarrassing x"

I know what you mean. I kind of understood it, but didn't because I'd not really had any mental health issues (or so I thought). Now having been through my own things, acknowledged them, understood them and come out of the other side, I always feel compelled to get involved in these kind of threads.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These posts are very welcome.

As it is a huge benefit.

Keep up the good work and best of luck to everyone who is just trying their best to get through the day,Let alone the week.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots more pressure on young people today with social media and expectations and about jobs and life itself "

Really?

Lots more or just different? x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I am learning how to adapt to been a single mum.

And have really learnt about self reflection,it is tough,but I am amazed at how far I have come.

Plus the dating world is mind boggling so even though I am confident at times.

And I am staying true to myself.

I still have the fear of the shit that happened with my ex will happen again so thrust is the big issue that I have to work on.

And that little nagging voice that sometime tells me that I am worthless and no guy wants a relationship with you a single mum, you are only a good time girl not the long term girl.

but that doesn't happen often,As I learnt to deal with it and to let it pass.

Every day is a learning day. "

Every day is a learning day and you have to celebrate those little things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"There are lots more pressure on young people today with social media and expectations and about jobs and life itself

Really?

Lots more or just different? x"

I think certain things are more focused.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots more pressure on young people today with social media and expectations and about jobs and life itself

Really?

Lots more or just different? x

I think certain things are more focused."

It's very personal and not sure my mental health issues were caused by less pressure or just different pressure x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"There are lots more pressure on young people today with social media and expectations and about jobs and life itself

Really?

Lots more or just different? x

I think certain things are more focused.

It's very personal and not sure my mental health issues were caused by less pressure or just different pressure x"

As you say, it's the most personal of things.

Turns out I had some things that I thought I had faced and worked through a few years ago that were nagging at me which, when combined with some pressures I was under at the time came flooding back along with a ton of self doubt and anxieties.

I learned loads about myself when working through things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

I'll be honest things have gotten pretty bad. This site may not be helping much. The rejections I'm recieving here along with job rejections (on top of losing all of my friends) had taken its toll. Can't really imagine going on like this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

Have you talked with anyone else about this stuff?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

Keep your head up, and if its getting so you are feeling debilitated by it, then I would advise speaking to your doctor. Please don't keep things bottled up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

Have you talked with anyone else about this stuff? "

No. It's easier here since I'm basically anonymous

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

Have my last appointment with my local Mental health resource team this week , they have been amazeing even doing home visits but starting to panic about it been my last one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have my last appointment with my local Mental health resource team this week , they have been amazeing even doing home visits but starting to panic about it been my last one "

My son bought me a 'grow your own therapist' for Christmas one year! Apparently you just add water x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Have my last appointment with my local Mental health resource team this week , they have been amazeing even doing home visits but starting to panic about it been my last one "

They must think you've done great for it to be the last appointment?

I know with my group they took me aside and looked at the results of the questionnaire i'd been filling in every week and chatted me through what the numbers meant and where they thought I was, if I agreed and told me I could self refer again if I felt myself heading down a similar path.

That chat inspired me and I was feeling much more positive compared to the first 3 weeks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

Have you talked with anyone else about this stuff?

No. It's easier here since I'm basically anonymous"

Is there no one close to you that you can speak to? Even by message if it's easier? I text my best mate when days are really dark and she's in France. But just communicating helps x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"Have my last appointment with my local Mental health resource team this week , they have been amazeing even doing home visits but starting to panic about it been my last one

They must think you've done great for it to be the last appointment?

That chat inspired me and I was feeling much more positive compared to the first 3 weeks."
Yes they told me the same thing, i suppose im just worried i have come to need their support

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm waiting 11 months for my second appointment.

I've resigned myself to the fact that (for me) it will always be an issue, so I'm focusing on coping mechanisms and strategies to lessen its impact.

Don't think I would want to open up to a manager at work, or even a colleague.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck hope it goes well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck hope it goes well

Thank you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know what? I had such a refreshing chat the other week with one of the guys that work here and I am going to say it purely because of context, he is a muslim and I was telling him about my fears of life, my anxiety etc and he was telling me about different coping techniques, telling me the differences of my religion and his, how he follows his religion etc and since that day, my shoulders feel so lifted, like I haven’t been carrying a huge weight and while his religion shouldn’t come into it, how he follows it and how he sees life, just made me have a ‘ping’ like moment, so yes I guess it is relevant to the point I’m trying to make.

Although I do need to work on my anxiety issues with the other lady that works here as on the rare occasion we work with her we both feel emotionally drained after, she is so toxic to my mental health but I’m trying to remember the words our friend told me and to let her negativity wash over me and not let it bother me so much. We are here to try and bring the business up but she just wants to drag it down and the owner isn’t interested in staff politics, so we have to like it or lump it basically lol.

Sorry for the long post.

Danish x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

Have you talked with anyone else about this stuff?

No. It's easier here since I'm basically anonymous

Is there no one close to you that you can speak to? Even by message if it's easier? I text my best mate when days are really dark and she's in France. But just communicating helps x "

Not really (as tragic as that sounds) x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

Have you talked with anyone else about this stuff?

No. It's easier here since I'm basically anonymous

Is there no one close to you that you can speak to? Even by message if it's easier? I text my best mate when days are really dark and she's in France. But just communicating helps x

Not really (as tragic as that sounds) x"

Not tragic at all. I lost most of my friends when I got very ill.. I'm lucky to have a couple still here. Since I took myself off here to meet and just concentrated on friendship I've been way happier. Some incredible people here that have been amazing to chat to about anything and everything! Take the pressure off yourself and enjoy it.. and if stuff really gets on top of you get straight to your doctor. You're never alone and there will always be someone around to chat to x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a really bad weekend ... reached out to a few people for company to help me through and everyone was busy so in the end i humiliated myself by asking an ex who was out with his new partner and told me i was being inappropriate by messaging

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a really bad weekend ... reached out to a few people for company to help me through and everyone was busy so in the end i humiliated myself by asking an ex who was out with his new partner and told me i was being inappropriate by messaging

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year? "

I used to, i've managed to feel a lot more comfortable in my own company this past year though so where I would otherwise be down i nthe dumps, i'm just getting on with my own thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year? "

Dark nights and rubbish weather seem to heighten things for sure. Doesn't make it easy to get out and do the small things that make me smile! Everything seems so much easier when the suns out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year? "

Indeed. It could be triggers to a low point in somebody's life, could be seasonal (SAD) or could be just a product of the environment around you. Whatever affects your personal mental health can be extremely detrimental at these times and it's important to reach out and communicate. If that communication is done with a loved one, professional or even just messages in anonymity to get that cathartic release then that is only a good thing. Otherwise we compartmentalise and bottle these things up to a full blown mental break.

Just to share a little something of myself March is the month where 19 years ago I held my baby for 3 minutes whilst he passed away in my hands. My friends and family know this and they are my rock during this month.

Keep the faith and keep strong as you matter in peoples lives even if it's difficult sometimes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year?

Keep the faith and keep strong as you matter in peoples lives even if it's difficult sometimes

Great post. So sorry for your loss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year?

Keep the faith and keep strong as you matter in peoples lives even if it's difficult sometimes

Great post. So sorry for your loss

Ty. Its good to communicate and when I see so many share on here and I get to view glimpses of those stories I feel I should proffer something of myself x acknowledging pain is the best way to overcome it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post OP.

Sharing what's going on for you shouldn't be taboo and it's difficult enough as it is.

I would imagine a lot of us would say 'talk to me, I'm here for you' but would feel bad about sharing our issues with others.

So much pressure these days and sometimes no escape. Speaking to someone helps so much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is great that you got support at work and I wish it was always the case. But please do seek proper counselling (not psychotherapy at first) as a counsellor is trained and can direct you to other services. I volunteered for 5 years and trained as a counsellor for local Mental Health services.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks to a lot of people on here I ve just managed to put my issues back in the box, stuff still running around head but I m just letting em run their course til silence falls.. I asked on here for jokes erc to make me smile or laugh or both and soo many wete good enough to post without asking or advising... I ve learned the hard way how to manage it but it does and will always catch me off guard. To all of you reading this thread with your own problems. Stay healthy and stay active.. An inactive brain can be your greatest enemy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you don't mind me posting Op. My mental health is OK at the moment, I've learned good ways of managing it, but my eldest son's is very fragile. He has so much anxiety which comes out as irritation at best and screaming rage and tears at worst. He's hitting puberty, doing his SAT's and is on the waiting list for an autism assessment. Having to constantly soothe him and manage his emotions is exhausting. I wish I could press a magic button to show him how to deal with his emotions right now, I hate seeing him struggle. CAHMs are shit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope you don't mind me posting Op. My mental health is OK at the moment, I've learned good ways of managing it, but my eldest son's is very fragile. He has so much anxiety which comes out as irritation at best and screaming rage and tears at worst. He's hitting puberty, doing his SAT's and is on the waiting list for an autism assessment. Having to constantly soothe him and manage his emotions is exhausting. I wish I could press a magic button to show him how to deal with his emotions right now, I hate seeing him struggle. CAHMs are shit. "

Seriously.. My heart n hugs go out to you both, life can be a very testing road so drive careful upon it, try to find something to smile or laugh about everyday, no matter how small.. My sincerest best wishes x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I would like to echo that, sending a big hug xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you. We have lovely moments every day interspersed with the hard stuff. We end each day with a snuggle for 30 mins or so and talk about whatever is on our mind and we always end it with our '3 good things' from the day. He's so smart and hilarious and kind, he comes out with all sorts. These moments make my heart swell.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year?

Keep the faith and keep strong as you matter in peoples lives even if it's difficult sometimes

Great post. So sorry for your loss

My heart goes out to you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow, I love how you end your day.. You are a great fabulous Mum, I bow my head to you... Hugs are powerful and yet I ve only learned to hug and understand them and their power in last 8 months and I m 54...stay as you are and enjoy those hugs you share but make sure you get all the hugs you need, for his strength comes from the strength within you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

This site may not be helping and don't, don't take rejection on here personally because it really isn't there are so many other factors involved. And jobs thats not personal either they don't know you from Adam .

Keep the faith x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve been waiting to hear from CAHMs for months for my youngest, she has acute anxiety x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/03/19 07:46:34]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve been waiting to hear from CAHMs for months for my youngest, she has acute anxiety x"

I hope your daughter gets what she needs from them, it's such a challenging situation

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve been waiting to hear from CAHMs for months for my youngest, she has acute anxiety x

I hope your daughter gets what she needs from them, it's such a challenging situation

Thank you , you too xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

This is an interesting post... what changed about the first job that makes you feel it's not shit anymore...has it got less shit ..or has your perception of it changed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I managed on my own but still feeing pretty crappy ... but i always see the other end sooner or later

Does anyone else find they get down at the same time every year?

Keep the faith and keep strong as you matter in peoples lives even if it's difficult sometimes

Great post. So sorry for your loss

My heart goes out to you x"

Thank you x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cahms are shit. Our 9 year old has rediculous anxiety to the point where she thought that we were poisoning her drinking water.

She's been going to see them for 2 years, problem is that she is so good at masking her emotions around others that she puts on her persona with the councillors, as a result she is getting discharged next month

For OP I (Mr) suffer from anxiety and depression, thought I had a handle on it but I have an increasing number of panic attacks in the past few weeks with no clear indication of what the trigger is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aithloveMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Love this thread!!

I was discharged from the armed forces due to ptsd over ten years ago.

I really suffered and at the time there wasn’t much out there for me.

I then had a huge breakdown, I was hearing voices, telling me to do inappropriate things (I didn’t) I became agoraphobic, suicidal, withdrawn, etc

Luckily my wife went to the Dr’s with me and was very quickly diagnosed and had a CPN three times weekly, I was then sent to residential treatment at Combat Stress, which I had numerous visits.

Now, through their help, I am no longer on medication, full time employment and happy as Larry (whoever Larry is)

I am extremely mindful of my mental health, and what may trigger, so ensure I keep my mind healthy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cahms are shit. Our 9 year old has rediculous anxiety to the point where she thought that we were poisoning her drinking water.

For OP I (Mr) suffer from anxiety and depression, thought I had a handle on it but I have an increasing number of panic attacks in the past few weeks with no clear indication of what the trigger is"

Sorry to hear that, it sounds very difficult. Be kind to yourself x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse. "

Mate - sorry if others have already replied to say this, but try to stop adding all that extra pressure on yourself. Focus on finding a job you'll enjoy not one that means you can be the 'sole provider' for a so far non-existent partner, who may well have her own ideas about wanting to work or not!

It's a tough climate out there in terms of jobs, but you will get there - keep going!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruly50Woman
over a year ago

ely

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

Perhaps you're right - thank you for the kind words.

I agree I don’t think being on here has helped me either, so I’ve hidden my profile and just visit the forums I’ve also come off other social media too. I think I’ve been living in the cyber world rather than the real one and suddenly find I’m lonely and need real life friends not just a bloke who wants a quick shag, this actually does more harm to my confidence. It’s helped putting this on here tho as so many understand how it feels.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

It's a tough climate out there in terms of jobs, but you will get there - keep going! "

He's right, that's an insane amount of pressure to put on yourself. I was the same way, alpha male having to get a decent job to provide for my family. Lead to 60 hour weeks and a breakdown. But life works in mysterious ways.

After that breakdown I'm now a stay at home dad and my wife is flourishing as a trainee mental health nurse to the point that they are offering to send her through uni to get her to a higher paid position with a few more responsibilities. Both of us are amazingly happy, she gets to socialise and help people in mental health (which I can tell you first hand she is incredible at) and I get to see my girls grow up, something I would never be able to do while working every hour under the sun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have anxiety. It started 11 years ago. I had just left the forces after nearly 23 years, my ex wife left me and the kids. Unknown to me she had been having an affair with another soldier for months. So with that, starting my own business and bringing up two teenager things just got on top of me and i felt myself rapidly going down hill. The worry and stress just took over my every thought. So I went to my GP. She was great and started my on Sertraline which helped. It helped alot ! After a year I came off them. Everything seemed fine. My new business was doing well and the kids were doing great both at school and they had adjusted well to their mother being no longer around.

Started dating again and then met a wonderful, beautiful and loving lady. Then after a few short months she suddenly died. No illness she just collapsed. A blood clot in her brain.

Again i spiralled into anxiety. It found cracks in my mind and stayed like an unwelcome friend.

So again I went back to my GP. The anxiety was much worse the second time. Tremors in the morning. Panic attacks. Jaw clenching. My mind was running too fast for me to catch up.

My GP put me back on Sertraline and through the British legion i had CBT. Cbt was very good. I began to be able to control my thoughts better. I'm still on the med's 150 mg each morning. She..my GP once asked if I wanted to stop them but i declined. There is no way I want to go back to that dark place.

I'm happy now. My children have grown up into fine adults. My son is now in the army and has just got his second promotion and my daughter is married too a lovely guy and they have given me two wonderful grandchildren.

Life can get better. It just takes time. Small steps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you see the light out of the tunnel.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And as for rejection on here goes, I would recommend leaving this site altogether. Its a place to socialise and shag but not for a relationship that early in your adult life.

Go out to speed dating, clubs and pubs and begin with the "normal" relationships first, go through the ordinary stuff and heart breaks, that way when you finally get a partner who enjoys this lifestyle you will be all the more greatful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have anxiety. It started 11 years ago. I had just left the forces after nearly 23 years, my ex wife left me and the kids. Unknown to me she had been having an affair with another soldier for months. So with that, starting my own business and bringing up two teenager things just got on top of me and i felt myself rapidly going down hill. The worry and stress just took over my every thought. So I went to my GP. She was great and started my on Sertraline which helped. It helped alot ! After a year I came off them. Everything seemed fine. My new business was doing well and the kids were doing great both at school and they had adjusted well to their mother being no longer around.

Started dating again and then met a wonderful, beautiful and loving lady. Then after a few short months she suddenly died. No illness she just collapsed. A blood clot in her brain.

Again i spiralled into anxiety. It found cracks in my mind and stayed like an unwelcome friend.

So again I went back to my GP. The anxiety was much worse the second time. Tremors in the morning. Panic attacks. Jaw clenching. My mind was running too fast for me to catch up.

Life can get better. It just takes time. Small steps. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you see the light out of the tunnel."

Well done to you, that's a lot of tragic occurrences to go through, massive respect for opening up and even more so raising what are clearly fantastic and happy kids (now adults)

You are inspiring to a male sufferer like myself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to say I love threads like this. Communication is open and people have an outlet for not only their pain but celebrating their victories over the issues they are facing. Its inspiring to see so many talking about their issues and, whatever the conduit for the communication, what counts is that it's being talked about openly and honestly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

"I've been working temp jobs since graduating in early 2018.

Not finding anything and facing dozens of rejections is making me feel like a failure.

As someone who one day wants to be in a serious relationship and be the sole provider - this is particularly difficult.

Depression is slowly but surely getting worse.

It's a tough climate out there in terms of jobs, but you will get there - keep going! "

You will. Yeah it is about keeping going because the other option is stopping, which will end up being far worse. I know how hard it can be - I was out of work for 4 years once. Since like a lot of people I was SO sensitive to rejection by the time I got to my successful interview I could hardly speak. I wasn't twitching, I was writhing and it was so difficult to even look at my interviewer. It was completely overpowering.

It was a shock to get a phone call saying I have the job, I couldn't believe it! I always believe it's because on the inside I gave the very best I knew how to in my interview despite how I appeared outwardly, whereas if I'd let myself get into any negative thinking "I'll never get it" then I wouldn't have.

In the 4 years meantime I got into cycling to make sure I was at least out of the house if nothing else, and ended up getting pretty fit!

Before this I ended up getting stuck in online gaming chatting. I felt so awful about myself I was avoiding people and avoiding going out. My landlady actually came with me to help me enrol on an advanced computer course, which I loved and blitzed it, showing me that sometimes I can't always do every thing on my own and it's ok to accept a helping hand. Would never have got the ball rolling without her. On my own initiative I then did a Spanish class, it was muy bien.

I also volunteered at a charity shop even though it was only a Monday and made a niche for myself ironing the clothes. And also forestry stuff because I wanted to be out doing physical work. The people at both were fantastic.

The philosphy of "if you can't do it all, do what you can do" has been invaluable to me. I wouldn't have had a hope without it.

I also think the pressure to "be the SOLE provider" is a recipe for failure. I'm sure it's too much for many people to expect from themselves these days.

I am also concerned with this mindset if you do get full time work, you are liable to burn yourself right out and be in a far worse state than now. I am in such a state, and have only survived because I have become an absolute master at ekeing out every little bit of energy for the past 7 years. I have outlasted other people who fell by the wayside because they were too macho to accept you can't always just blast it full throttle - take heed!

Ok that's enough then. Wishing good vibes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Some great messages on here, just bumping it up and of course wishing everyone well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people numb emotional pain they've bottled up for years with vodka or sex, or smoking or something a bit bad ass. I'm crying in to apple juice at 1.45 am and popping blood pressure meds that I forgot to take on time. I even suck at being ill and depressed. It's all seriously shit for me right now for various reasons. So I hope what I'm about to say might be the lightbulb moment for some one else as much as it was me.

My friend said something to me that made perfect sense a few weeks ago..

She said everyone has a cup of resilience. When the cup is empty you need to look after yourself.

Mine has been empty for a long time. More things kept being thrown at me. I kept going but now I've realised I need a whole new tea set not just a refill.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Fab has now had a very negative effect on my mental health after stumbling across certain things... time for a break methinks.

Much love x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Some people numb emotional pain they've bottled up for years with vodka or sex, or smoking or something a bit bad ass. I'm crying in to apple juice at 1.45 am and popping blood pressure meds that I forgot to take on time. I even suck at being ill and depressed. It's all seriously shit for me right now for various reasons. So I hope what I'm about to say might be the lightbulb moment for some one else as much as it was me.

My friend said something to me that made perfect sense a few weeks ago..

She said everyone has a cup of resilience. When the cup is empty you need to look after yourself.

Mine has been empty for a long time. More things kept being thrown at me. I kept going but now I've realised I need a whole new tea set not just a refill.

Best thoughts and well wishes go out to you x.

The wake up call for me was that I wasn't taking blood pressure meds and eating poorly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I think Fab has now had a very negative effect on my mental health after stumbling across certain things... time for a break methinks.

Much love x "

I'm really sorry to hear this. For a time I went off here, I didn't post anything just whilst I got myself in a better frame of mind.

I still read the forums, shaking my head at some, nodding at others and wondering if I should comment.

Take some time and be good to yourself x. Much respect.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself."

Or most people are interested in people on line more than who's around them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think Fab has now had a very negative effect on my mental health after stumbling across certain things... time for a break methinks.

Much love x "

Hope you’re okay x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Or most people are interested in people on line more than who's around them."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had Bells Palsy before, it's not a serious condition and can be brought on by stressing out. I was moving job and house and had other stuff going on when I took it a few years back and it lasted about 2 months. I found a page on Facebook for fellow sufferers and through chatting to them I think that was how I truly relaxed and stopped worrying about my face and ultimately then brought me back to normal.

I'm really just repeating here what has already been said, but a problem shared is a problem halved and it is always good to talk to people. I found it easier to talk to strangers too because my friends were too cautious in how they spoke to me and I just wanted people to talk to me normally.

If you take anything out of this thread it's don't bottle things up, there is always someone out there who is happy to talk to you and give you any help they can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Or most people are interested in people on line more than who's around them."
Yes, a close family member of mine who has mental health conditions has took a break from going online and feeling a lot better for it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Or most people are interested in people on line more than who's around them.Yes, a close family member of mine who has mental health conditions has took a break from going online and feeling a lot better for it"

Definitely. I often take online breaks when feeling at low points or when the diagnoses take over. It's hard to dip a toe in online without becoming overwhelmed by the problems of others sometimes. Used right it can be good as you have an avenue for communication but I don't use it responsibly in those times. So I walk away. Facebook, Twitter and here. Sometimes as well you have to remember that when people are posting about their fabulous lives and your in a deep depression, it may not all be peaches and cream where they are either. The glimpses we have online tell us everybody is having a better life than us, the reality might be totally different.

The funny guy with all the jokes on here might be the saddest soul. The guy with the washboard abs might be struggling daily with body issues. The lady who everybody calls an attention seeker might be genuinely struggling to connect. Online we only see the digital mask people want to show as some struggle to like what's underneath.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think Fab has now had a very negative effect on my mental health after stumbling across certain things... time for a break methinks.

Much love x

Hope you’re okay x"

Thank you that means a lot x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Best reply ever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Best reply ever

Ty and please remember if you do take a break, be kind to yourself and remember there are people whose lives are better for your prescence in them, communicate x

wish nothing but great things for you, keep in touch

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many of these problems are affected by diet exercise and sleep.

But also if you lack ways to occupy yourself.

Best reply ever

Ty and please remember if you do take a break, be kind to yourself and remember there are people whose lives are better for your prescence in them, communicate x

wish nothing but great things for you, keep in touch

I doubt that very much... but I live for my son so he keeps me going x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had Bells Palsy before, it's not a serious condition and can be brought on by stressing out. I was moving job and house and had other stuff going on when I took it a few years back and it lasted about 2 months. I found a page on Facebook for fellow sufferers and through chatting to them I think that was how I truly relaxed and stopped worrying about my face and ultimately then brought me back to normal.

If you take anything out of this thread it's don't bottle things up, there is always someone out there who is happy to talk to you and give you any help they can

Wholeheartedly agree!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heNerdyCyclistMan
over a year ago

MANCHESTER

Glad this thread exists.

As someone who is aspie, I have 2 focuses; video games and sex.

So the video games thing, that's kinda easy. Connecting with strangers via non verbal conversations.

Sex on the other hand (Is that a pun?)... That's tricky.

Like wanting to talk and connect with women and couples but trying to be respectful. But sometimes, yes. I'd like to play with some of them.

And I get really annoyed with seeing statuses about men being arseholes and disresepectful.

TLDR: I like this forum and may use it to rant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heNerdyCyclistMan
over a year ago

MANCHESTER

Forgot to mention: I get hella lonely because conversations for me are hard if it's not about the above.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *immy142Man
over a year ago

somewhere near Tewkesbury

Hi, I work for a company that trains it’s staff in Mental health first aid. I was one of the lucky ones chosen for the course and I must say, it has helped my friends and family at home as well as my work colleagues.

Not enough emphasis or focus is given to mental health issues and awareness, possibly due to the stigma attached.

I just wish more people would talk!

Nothing to be ashamed of, asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it shows you are ready to receive help.

If you have got down this far and want an informal chat then I will be willing. I’m not a councillor and I cannot solve the issues you face but I can offer support, guidance and hopefully make the light at the end of the tunnel a little brighter.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good to see more people popping in here and offering a helping hand or a patient ear

and communication is definitely key. Big credit to OP for creating this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle hugely with anxiety and lately been on full on panic attack mode. It's terrifying when it happens but several happened while travelling abroad so it felt even worse. Slowly, very slowly, getting things settled but its taking time, I have a wonderful boss who I can talk to, very supportive and I know has my back. Can't ask for more. Just need the anxiety to calm down so I can stop worrying about when the next attack is going to hit.

I can do this

Hugs to all. MH issues aren't fun x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer with depression, anxiety and stress. Last may i saw my GP and she (with my agrement) put me on meds and also on the sick. She referred me for counselling however i didnt get that until september which was far to long to wait !! Luckily my workplace paid for private counselling which was amazing and very helpful.

Im back at work, struggling a bit at the moment but am able to use what i was taught during the counselling.

Feel free to messege me if you want xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I visit a weekly men's mental health group and we talk about our issues and generally try to help each other in a none judgemental environment.

Last week one of the men brought up a condition that I wasn't aware existed, it's called 'imposter syndrome', its basically feeling like a total fraud, any success isn't through skill just dumb luck as you don't feel like you are good enough to deserve it. Can lead to working harder than you have to just to prove a point and burn yourself out. I really identified with it.

Also suggested I read a book called shadows before dawn, it's a book on learning to love yourself (stop giggling in the back) just waiting on it to be delivered and I'll let everyone know my opinions on it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I visit a weekly men's mental health group and we talk about our issues and generally try to help each other in a none judgemental environment.

I do confess to giggling about loving myself but its damn right. A lit of issues I face stem from the simple fact I despise what I see in the mirror. I am trying to change that though. It sounds like the peer support you have from your group is truly inspiring and amazing to see it happening. More of them should exist

a problem shared isn't necessarily a problem halved but it is increasing the resources to potentially deal with that problem for good and thats why communication is key. Solutions can come from those around us and awareness is one more step towards acceptance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle hugely with anxiety and lately been on full on panic attack mode. It's terrifying when it happens but several happened while travelling abroad so it felt even worse. Slowly, very slowly, getting things settled but its taking time, I have a wonderful boss who I can talk to, very supportive and I know has my back. Can't ask for more. Just need the anxiety to calm down so I can stop worrying about when the next attack is going to hit.

I can do this

Hugs to all. MH issues aren't fun x "

They are truly not x the cathartic release of communication can help that no matter where that communication takes place. You can do this because you want to do this. Some people don't challenge or find it hard to challenge the anxiety. You are fighting back and the drive to overcome will mean that you will, whether long or short the battle. Keep the faith in yourself, the most important thing to have faith in x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always been a closed book my whole life, I went to the doctors and got it all out. Started CBT and medication for anxiety. My advice to everyone is to talk about your problems, it really helps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always been a closed book my whole life, I went to the doctors and got it all out. Started CBT and medication for anxiety. My advice to everyone is to talk about your problems, it really helps.

Seconded

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people don't believe in mental health issues. It's awful how that person made you feel. Especially with so much focus on mental health and suicide.

I'm glad your gm supported you.

I'm very open about my illness. Some colleagues are supportive but I think my employer as a company is stuck in the 80s

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people don't believe in mental health issues. It's awful how that person made you feel. Especially with so much focus on mental health and suicide.

I'm glad your gm supported you.

I'm very open about my illness. Some colleagues are supportive but I think my employer as a company is stuck in the 80s "

Its hideous as well when the people who don't believe are the ones with the responsibility of supporting you also. This day and age there should be more emphasis placed on the preventative aspect of mental health. A lot of the time even if you ask for help, you have to get into crisis before that help is given. That's not a dig at the NHS, some amazingly wonderful people who work tirelessly through that underfunded and underappreciated system, it's an indictment of the bureaucratic approach that seems to exist towards tackling mental health issues. Its lovely to hear that you are open about your illness despite your employers stance and I hope your support network is strong during difficult times x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suffer with depression, anxiety and stress. Last may i saw my GP and she (with my agrement) put me on meds and also on the sick. She referred me for counselling however i didnt get that until september which was far to long to wait !! Luckily my workplace paid for private counselling which was amazing and very helpful.

Im back at work, struggling a bit at the moment but am able to use what i was taught during the counselling.

Feel free to messege me if you want xx"

Sounds like your workplace was extremely generous and supportive. Its great to hear of employers who get it right in this day and age

x fight through those struggle days and they do eventually lessen. God I sound like a fecking self help book or some shit

I'm sure there are a lot of people in here that really appreciate the offer to message, your experiences probably mirror another's here and its great to talk to people who have endured similar

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggled for silently for 10 years, with my mental health, the work place was not very open to this issue back then, and I felt I had to hide my trouble, which caused me to really suffer in my alone time, this resulted in breakdown in my relationships with the people closest to me, some of which I feel to embarrassed to try to repair.

I deal with my mental health much better now - however still feel I couldn’t open up to anyone at work. I don’t think that’s their fault - I think it has become ingrained into me to keep to myself, which I understand is not healthy - it’s more of behavioural pattern.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggled for silently for 10 years, with my mental health, the work place was not very open to this issue back then, and I felt I had to hide my trouble, which caused me to really suffer in my alone time, this resulted in breakdown in my relationships with the people closest to me, some of which I feel to embarrassed to try to repair.

It is difficult breaking the stigma and opening up to people who have a certain image of you. I had to leave work due to the anxiety getting too much and having a breakdown so I've yet to know how my mental issues would be recieved in the work place.

I have however opened up to my male friends thinking that it would be an issue that I would be mocked for but I've been blown away by how understanding they have been, even a few having similar issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody love this

I grew up in a very 'man up' environment and it was nigh on impossible for me to talk about issues. Was shunned by elements of my family when the dam burst and I'm still picking up the pieces to this day. But I'm talking and supporting others also

it's easier when you know the people you speak to may have similar issues

that's why I offer the opportunity for anybody to message if that suits them. If I can help I do try to

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im back at work, struggling a bit at the moment but am able to use what i was taught during the counselling.

Feel free to messege me if you want xx

Sounds like your workplace was extremely generous and supportive. Its great to hear of employers who get it right in this day and age

x fight through those struggle days and they do eventually lessen. God I sound like a fecking self help book or some shit

I'm sure there are a lot of people in here that really appreciate the offer to message, your experiences probably mirror another's here and its great to talk to people who have endured similar

The HR dept were good as they sorted out the counselling. My actual boss was crap though and was part of the reason i was so ill. Shes retired now but its no better at work.

I had a really awful start to the day today and ended up crying in the loo cus i felt so awful. I just want to hide away from the world now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im back at work, struggling a bit at the moment but am able to use what i was taught during the counselling.

Feel free to messege me if you want xx

Sounds like your workplace was extremely generous and supportive. Its great to hear of employers who get it right in this day and age

x fight through those struggle days and they do eventually lessen. God I sound like a fecking self help book or some shit

I'm sure there are a lot of people in here that really appreciate the offer to message, your experiences probably mirror another's here and its great to talk to people who have endured similar

The HR dept were good as they sorted out the counselling. My actual boss was crap though and was part of the reason i was so ill. Shes retired now but its no better at work.

I had a really awful start to the day today and ended up crying in the loo cus i felt so awful. I just want to hide away from the world now

But you are here, communicating with a selection of people who can empathise with the situation you are in and, even though its words on a screen, can let you know in these instances you are not alone, even though you may feel it. Some people may see coming on here as hiding but it's the opposite. Its reaching out for a rock when turbulent streams are carrying you down river. Wherever or whatever rock you find to cling to when the floods come, hold tight and keep the course. You're at work and fighting back, even if some days it seems futile, that's a strength sone cannot match at stages in their life. Keep strong and keep battling

x we should try and keep this thread as constant as possible methinks

I think it could be of value to people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

It's okay not to be okay.

All communication is good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im back at work, struggling a bit at the moment but am able to use what i was taught during the counselling.

Feel free to messege me if you want xx

Sounds like your workplace was extremely generous and supportive. Its great to hear of employers who get it right in this day and age

x fight through those struggle days and they do eventually lessen. God I sound like a fecking self help book or some shit

I'm sure there are a lot of people in here that really appreciate the offer to message, your experiences probably mirror another's here and its great to talk to people who have endured similar

The HR dept were good as they sorted out the counselling. My actual boss was crap though and was part of the reason i was so ill. Shes retired now but its no better at work.

I had a really awful start to the day today and ended up crying in the loo cus i felt so awful. I just want to hide away from the world now

x we should try and keep this thread as constant as possible methinks

I think it could be of value to people "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Just bumping this thread up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffer from depression.

My main trigger is a feeling of failure because I'm long term single.

Lack of mutual matches on dating sites, being told on here that I'm not someones type based on a picture is soul destroying.

It feels like the world is having fun and I'm not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread