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If you could communicate with your pet, what would you say?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’d tell the cat I used to have-

Stop shagging my Tigger teddy bear, he really isn’t as into you, as you are him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can't you understand that not everything that sounds like a packet of dreamies is actually a packet of dreamies?

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By *herealdavidjonesMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

You know when you lick yourself does it feel good?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Please will you stop scratching the carpet in the middle of the night, stop nicking my seat as soon as I stand up and for goodness sake just eat the one packet of chicken flavour food in the box. Oh and you bring a huge amount of pleasure into our life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not controling you and restricting your freedom because I'm a bad person. I simply worry because you seem to have no awareness of roads and social boundries. I know you want to run around killing everything so I feel you are a danger to yourself and others if I just let you go free. Show me some initiative and I might consider letting you go out alone and do your own thing"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say "please tell me when you're feeling poorly"

Or "you don't need to decimate the local avian population to impress me"

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Stop showing off! I could get my leg up that high and lick my own arse back in the day.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are so god damn cute it takes all my might not to squish you with cuddles!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do communicate with my dog. Right now I would probably be thanking him for being my friend and telling him I wish I could cure him, so that the cancer wont take him away...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stop shitting all over the garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop meowing to go out, It's raining. I'll let you out then as soon as I sit down you'll be at the window meowing to come back in again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone rings the doorbell, it’s never going to be for you buddy, so let it go mate and just chill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even though you’ve be gone for over 2 years I still love you and miss you terribly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d tell the cat I used to have-

Stop shagging my Tigger teddy bear, he really isn’t as into you, as you are him. "
most pet owners do talk to their cats and dogs and feel they understand but being a neultral onlooker I know certainly cats are creatures of habit they hear your foot on the stairs it's food time ,they hear front door open its food time ,they smell the fish coming out the oven it's food time

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

To one of them: for the love of god please stop spraying inside the house

To two of them: please eat what you catch *outside* so I don't keep stepping in piles of blood and gore

To all three: when you disappear for hours where do you go and what do you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd ask her if she was happy and in any discomfort, so I could do the best by her. I'd also reassure her that I'm coming back after work and there's no need to stress.

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Promise I won't eat you ever ,some animals definitely look at you as though you view them as lunch ,you ask any vietnamese

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do postmen taste like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dog - Stop taking up the whole couch just because your a large bastard and stop fucking battering the cat!

Cat - Stop showing the dog your arse and sitting on his head!

Kitten - Stop mainlining Red Bull you hyperactive ball of fluff and tiny needles!

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By *ightkitty4uWoman
over a year ago

Epsom

i think I am odd, I talk to my two ferrets all the time...

Told Hector of today for rubbing his balls on my broom head!

Really must get them chopped off...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe you can. When my dog was dying I felt like she knew exactly what I was telling her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When someone rings the doorbell, it’s never going to be for you buddy, so let it go mate and just chill. "

So this

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

Explain to them about road safety.

Explain to them about not eating chocolate, grapes, etc.

Generally explain the restrictions they are given are for their own wellbeing.

Oh, and explain that there is no need to bark like crazy and jump up repeatedly when I pick up my keys, put on my boots and/or coat or pick up a lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why are you sniffing a dog 5 times your size

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i think I am odd, I talk to my two ferrets all the time...

Told Hector of today for rubbing his balls on my broom head!

Really must get them chopped off..."
the broom heads?

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Would you please stop shouting at the birds.

Barking with your heckles up make people think your not friendly and we know you're a big soft lump.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop crapping on front door mat please ,gotta have your wits about you every minute of the day especially in the summer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please stop taking up most of my bed...your a small dog! How do you manage it !

Also I can hear the noise and the door you don't need to alert me loudly and suddenly, coffee is to be d*unk not spilled with fright haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like how german shepherds tilt their heads side to side..ears up..

like there asking YOU a question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're adopted you know"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...no...other paw

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

What do you mean if?

The chats I have my teeny tiny doggo, are often the most intelligent conversations I have all day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After shaving my dog just now I think he'll have a lot more to say to me than I have to him!

(That is not a euphemism)

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to my long gone best friend Atra the Alsatian...

Thank you for the memories(actually crying as i type this)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry I'm not there to play with you anymore. I miss and love you dearly".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as I mentioned on a previous thread.. people let you down,dogs never will

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

To the younger one,stop pestering on a night time when sleep is needed and when are you gonna become a friendly cat and stop being naughty lol.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"i like how german shepherds tilt their heads side to side..ears up..

like there asking YOU a question"

Ours does that

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By *anana JoeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Here is a bag pick your own shit up!

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's a fucking d*unk walking home not a burglar you fuzzbucket! Go back to sleep and stop howling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't everyone already talk to their pets?

If I knew she could understand me I'd say:

"Mowzer, you're a knob. Standing on my head while I'm asleep and ripping mouthfuls of my hair out is bad sportsmanship. Also, you really don't need to show me you love me by eating your food. I know you're very proud of that skill, but I'm not going to give you extra praise just because you had an extra nibble. And when the middle bit of food in the bowl has run out, just move onto the ring around the edge. It's not hard"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dog owners may find 'overtoun bridge' interesting .. there is no explanation..its an unsolved mystery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can and we have the most marvellous chats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you insist on sleeping on my lap all the time?

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

If you don't stop pissing on my floor. We're going to have problems

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Please Molly, stop looking at me and thinking "How can I have respect for a man who sticks his hand in a plastic bag and picks up my shit then walks around for an hour with it in his pocket"

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

What is your beef with the hairdryer, ironing board and the vacuum cleaner you mad bitch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this thread

Why are you obsessed with tinfoil?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"now take your time and chew your food carefully"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I believe you can. When my dog was dying I felt like she knew exactly what I was telling her "

I believe that. One of my siblings lives near me. Her cat had never come to my house, then one day he came in and lay on my mat by the door. I rang to tell her he was at mine. After a while he went home. The next day he passed away. It was eerie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you mean if?

The chats I have my teeny tiny doggo, are often the most intelligent conversations I have all day. "

I get that too.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I would tell him, if your going to be fucking sick, do it on the fucking bathroom floor! Stop ruining my bloody carpets! (sensitive stomach Ragdoll here)

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By *JandTheBearCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Look, if it's raining out the back door, I'll bet you a whole tin of tuna it's raining out the front door too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop shitting on the carpet you arsehole

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Where have you hidden my socks this time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regularly tell my cat to get out from under my fucking feet.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I communicated with mine earlier via the medium of yelling at them from two fields away.

Two of my cheeky twats decided to take themselves for a walk while I was cleaning the ears of the other.

They knew with a look that they were confined to their bunks. My mastiff is now peaking round the sofa looking for any positive sign. If she gets it she’s gonna dive into her beanbag and remain all night.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Are you happy i adopted you? Does you being clingy mean you love me? Although i talk to mine all the while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about you go out to work and keep me in the lap of luxury?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grrrrrr woof woof woof ,meow

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Stop being an annoying twat and use your cat flap instead of getting me to open the front door for you to go out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come here pal. Tell me, what's with the sniffing ass thing? I get you like smells but do you have bury your nose in the other dogs arse?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Doesn't everyone already talk to their pets?

If I knew she could understand me I'd say:

"Mowzer, you're a knob. Standing on my head while I'm asleep and ripping mouthfuls of my hair out is bad sportsmanship. Also, you really don't need to show me you love me by eating your food. I know you're very proud of that skill, but I'm not going to give you extra praise just because you had an extra nibble. And when the middle bit of food in the bowl has run out, just move onto the ring around the edge. It's not hard""

Nah, you have to shake it to make it look full again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to a border collie especially .. I'll keep throwing the ball..lets see who gets tired first

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By *ussD1Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

“Fuck off you vicious killer, that’s my fucking hand and all I was doing was stroking you, you cunt”.

Oh wait that’s now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awesome thread

Do you have selective hearing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop sleeping in the bathroom sink, it's just fucked up. Also, if you could NOT regularly bite the hand that feeds you it would be appreciated.

I love you best by the way. Yes, me! The others merely tolerate you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To my dog. You are more faithful and loving than any man I have ever met but your farts are ungodly! And looking round as if to blame someone else afterwards is just rude!

And even when you get me up 3 times in the night, you smelly old beast, I still love you, and will do right by you, however hard it might be for me, in the future x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you feel the need to sniff every lamppost but look so innocent when you dropped one while we’re led up on the sofa

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

To number 1 cat - You're 15. You're not a kitten anymore. Grow the fuck up! And stop pestering me to turn the kitchen tap on so you have a drink from the sink every time I go into the kitchen.

To number 2 cat - I know you're poorly. I can see it in your behaviours. So can the doctor man we go to see all too regularly. But we can't find what's wrong with you, so if you could actually tell me, I'd help. I'm wondering if you're faking your illness because you actually like having the thermometer shoved up your arse you pervert.

Thank you for picking me from the rescue place. I love your kissy head butts.

To both of them - every day I pick up your toys from the floor and put them in the toy bucket. Which of you little arses gets them out every night and throws them all over the fucking floor again?

And thank you for giving me something to come home to every day.

M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did you see news this morning about 'snoop'dog abandoned, driver just drove away while snoop trying to see his master.in video/BBC news. I REALLY REALLY HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT THE BAST*** (sorry for swearing ) glad snoops now sorted

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Ma last Border Collie understood every word I said to him, he just chose to ignore most of it though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she could understand me I'd politely ask her to leave the room when she needs to do her stinky farts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its just the vets.. stop it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop licking your arse then locking my face

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By *utsidenakedMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Ots not a leak, its you pissing up the washing machine

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Why do you only fart when you're lying my under my bed at night?

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk


"When someone rings the doorbell, it’s never going to be for you buddy, so let it go mate and just chill.

So this "

Oh most definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to communicate with next doors cat and tell it to stop shitting in my garden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's four in the morning, go away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

*Sobbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

bless him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I pick my coat up..you dont HAVE to throw yourself at the door

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Stop climbing up the chimney!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do communicate with my dog. Right now I would probably be thanking him for being my friend and telling him I wish I could cure him, so that the cancer wont take him away... "

Oh my god that’s so sad x big hug x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

And that’s me in tears...

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By *icked_tongueMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I'd say "Molly I miss you so much,my days are empty without you, you were my world and I miss you so much, but wait for me over the rainbow bridge and we can go walking again soon"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

slow down..there is no pudding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

Oh that's heartbreaking. I'm losing my girl slowly, she's collie Cross and her back legs are going. I really don't know how I will cope without her. I honestly don't think some people understand the bond we have with our beloved pets. I don't have kids, so she's my baby. I hope the treatment gives him more time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say

ffs everytime i get up to go into the kitchen its not to feed u u greedy little shit i do tell her this everyday but she rarely listens and still follows me in there anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

I'll bet he loves you every little bit as much right back and if he could, would thank you from the bottom of his heart for being there for him and he's not really fooled by the cake at all. But he loves it. x

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

And my heart is breaking for you

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

I feel really guilty now for shouting at our pooch this morning. She’s allergic to everything & somehow managed to pull a lasagne off the worktop & eat it. I knew it would make her ill - and she was mid-morning. Luckily the glass dish didn’t break either.

Huge hugs to you & make the most of every minute xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theirs nothing in the fridge you're next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did you die you selfish bastard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How have you launched yourself out the bedroom window upstairs and not died, you crank

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Stop pissing on the doormat you little cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To my German Shepherd

Stop pinching the crinkle windows from my post.

And stay out of the bathroom when I go for a poop. I really don't need company at that time in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop licking your arse in front of my mother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pick up the f&$#king stick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why can't you be like normal dogs"?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Today I'm just thanking him for still being here. For being the one person in the world who always makes me smile and for the peace and happiness he has brought me for so many years.

I'm telling him that when he recovers I will take him for walks up the hills again and let him run free on the fells. Something that is never going to happen.

I talk with him all the time. Tell him my dreams my hopes my fears and how much I love him and that he is the best collie in the world.

He's smiling at me wagging his tail and chewing happily on a fairy cake complete with icing. No it may not be the best food for him, or any dog. But he likes cake...

And it hides the taste of the steroids that are fighting the cancer that one day soon will take him from me.

I'm telling him I love him, while I still can....

I'm telling him I "

He knows xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alan

Alan

Alan

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I do talk to her all the time and tell her I love her, which she fully understands. But I would like if she could please kill the mice before letting them go in my bedroom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a letter box , same as yesterday,and the day before that,and....

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Don't be such a fussy fucker with your food because I cant afford anything expensive . You need to eat and stay healthy because you are all I have right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can tell the time, (I get woke up by the pussy dogs a minute before the alarm

Goes off every morning) learn to use a calendar ...weekends are for sleeping in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once bitten

Twice pie

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I would say bring yourself back down from heaven as I miss you

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"I would say bring yourself back down from heaven as I miss you"

{{Hugs}} x

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I would say bring yourself back down from heaven as I miss you"
Awww . Sad but lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your staying underwater for 1 hour..

... it's my goldfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell him to buck his ideas up, or I'm going to "lose" him in the forest... Little shit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had dogs before and brought up dogs a dog

But dog got now he just the best we all as family bonded with him love him im so close like never before and he my boy

Can totally relate some these heartbreaking stories and HUGE hugs to you all

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