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Mellowing in my old age

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Its jays birthday on wednesday and february also means that in months its the longest relationship ive been in (5 years) we where talking the other day and jay says im unreconizable from the person he first met. I was physically and mentally a nightmare. I was wild and didnt really care about anyone or anything apart from the people closest to me.

Jay has never tried to change me but he has nurtured me, loved me, understood me and mentored me. Ive completly gone the opposite to what i was, i dont do drugs, i rarely drink alcohol and in general have quietened down. There will always be that "streak" in me i guess.

I do wonder though if i would of naturally quietened down as i got older or whether it is finding the right man.

Have you changed for the better as youve gotten older?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my fuse is definitely longer than it used to be.

no, not my cock.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've mellowed a hell of a lot as I've got older.

I'm a lot calmer than I used to be, it's rare that I loose my temper, but on the other hand, I will tell people what I think and don't really give a toss if it upsets them, unless it's someone close to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've changed so much over the years, all for the better. I remember when I was in my 20's always feeling so angry, it was exhausting! In my 30's I was horribly dependent on my then partner, I had no confidence and what little I had he chipped away at, I was paranoid and couldn't make decisions, felt everyone could see how pathetic I was

In my 40's now, I have, after a lot of help from friends and proffessionals, become pretty well rounded

I don't judge people like I used to and have discovered how lovely people can be whatever their differences to me! I don't get angry anymore about the stuff that's out of my control. And I can accept that not everyone has to like me. I'm a much more contented person and feel able to take control when change is required..... I quite like me these days

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yes.......and I love it.

sheer bliss..........

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I've changed so much over the years, all for the better. I remember when I was in my 20's always feeling so angry, it was exhausting! In my 30's I was horribly dependent on my then partner, I had no confidence and what little I had he chipped away at, I was paranoid and couldn't make decisions, felt everyone could see how pathetic I was

In my 40's now, I have, after a lot of help from friends and proffessionals, become pretty well rounded

I don't judge people like I used to and have discovered how lovely people can be whatever their differences to me! I don't get angry anymore about the stuff that's out of my control. And I can accept that not everyone has to like me. I'm a much more contented person and feel able to take control when change is required..... I quite like me these days "

Yes, contented is definetly what i am and i actually do like myself, everyone might not like me but im happy with those that do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not so much age-related, however, certain events that occurred in the past few years had made me sit up and take stock, and re-evaluated the meaning of life for me.

I am no longer as career minded as I once was. I no longer wish to be a high flying jet-setting executive, to come home to a cold and empty house.

I now prefer home comfort to external thrills.

I guess that equates to calming down in many respects.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes, contented is definetly what i am and i actually do like myself, everyone might not like me but im happy with those that do"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not so much age-related, however, certain events that occurred in the past few years had made me sit up and take stock, and re-evaluated the meaning of life for me.

I am no longer as career minded as I once was. I no longer wish to be a high flying jet-setting executive, to come home to a cold and empty house.

I simply could not have put this better

I now prefer home comfort to external thrills.

I guess that equates to calming down in many respects. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"yes.......and I love it.

sheer bliss.........."

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have changed as I've gotten older, I think for the better and I'm happy with me.

I was never a loud outrageous type and I've never been in trouble. I was a quiet studious girl, a little mouse, unwilling to stand up to people.

After becoming employed in roles that I wouldn't have lasted a day in had I remained a little mouse, I was forced to harden up. I survived, I changed, I became more confident and I won't be manipulated or put down or taken advantage of. I am not afraid to challenge and have done so with all levels of people.

I remember being terrified of talking in front of other students in the classroom and would become tongue tied and worried. Now I am not bothered talking to a classroom full of staff when I'm teaching and I'm not bothered about speaking out in meetings. I am not afraid of admitting I'm wrong and do not see it as a weakness and can accept blame if its warranted.

I was never a wayward wild child, quite the opposite, in fact what I'm doing now feels like I'm doing something naughty and taboo and feels like I'm freaking out.

So I've definitely gained confidence and will speak out if something bothers me, I have less tolerance now though tend to remain calm but deal with it. I don't often lose my temper, I see it as a loss of control, but I have on occasions when I'm pushed and stressed.

Some people would say they don't like me but these people don't like the fact they can't get one over on me, perhaps like they used to, or like the fact that ill tell them if I don't agree or approve of something. My brother always says that, he says Sis you're getting mouthier as you're getting older, 'yeah I am, I say, 'I don't bow down to your crap just cos you're the eldest anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I am making up for lost time and will have a go at anyone instead of keeping quiet like I used to so I guess my confidence has grown, in line with my gob

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley


"Its jays birthday on wednesday and february also means that in months its the longest relationship ive been in (5 years) we where talking the other day and jay says im unreconizable from the person he first met. I was physically and mentally a nightmare. I was wild and didnt really care about anyone or anything apart from the people closest to me.

Jay has never tried to change me but he has nurtured me, loved me, understood me and mentored me. Ive completly gone the opposite to what i was, i dont do drugs, i rarely drink alcohol and in general have quietened down. There will always be that "streak" in me i guess.

I do wonder though if i would of naturally quietened down as i got older or whether it is finding the right man.

Have you changed for the better as youve gotten older?"

I have been a Dad twice in my life. I was a right Sod before my son was born and when I first saw him I smiled at the life I had helped create everything mellowed so much. When he died I became a self destructive bastard. Then I was lucky enough to have a wonderful daughter who became my life and world. I understand that the world is not about me put more about what I can give to the world. My daughter became the planet to my gravity. The greatest achievement in my life is my children. With my age has come the knowledge that when all else stops family continues.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

i likes me now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mellowed, yup, quite happy to meet guys me own age these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh most definately

don't drink, rarely go out into clubs and bars, my life is far more structured / routine, know far more about myself, much happier in myself, far happier in my own company, far more loving towards my family especially mum, dad and the infant members, i have a small number of true friends rather than a large number of acquaintances

just turning into a boring old fart really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If life,experiences and age hadnt changed me i would be worried

But fundamentally im still the "Craig" ive always been xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If life,experiences and age hadnt changed me i would be worried

But fundamentally im still the "Craig" ive always been xx "

+1

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By *xscotMan
over a year ago

Kingston

Even at my exalted age - I do not feel old - they do say you are as old as the women you feel.

I do think though that I do not respond as quickly to situations - I tend provide the calming influence and can see the other point of _iew - compromise is no longer a taboo word

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