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If I smashed an avocado on my pussy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

would the chavvy types avoid it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh, let me know if it works.

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Make sure you take the stone out first!

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Make sure you take the stone out first!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ouch!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now this is what I call a thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Should I add pepper?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ouch!!!!!! "

It's avocado, not smashed glass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?"

Yes. Definitely black pepper

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives""

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?"

And squeezed lime juice

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I want a poached egg on there too.

*licks lips*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

Yes. Definitely black pepper"

Freshly ground?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?"

Me thinks they might

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avocado AND olives in one thread?

(I'm as common as muck)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I want a poached egg on there too.

*licks lips*"

That should be ok. Chavs like their eggs fried in lard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

Yes. Definitely black pepper

Freshly ground?"

Off course woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit."

Blasphemy. Begone with you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?"

And a smidge of chilli sauce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?"

Gwackmyhole

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Avocado AND olives in one thread?

(I'm as common as muck) "

What would you like smashed on my pussy my love? Pork scratchings?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And a smidge of chilli sauce"

Whoa, slow down a bit Scarlet, I don't want to burn me clit off

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Should I add pepper?

And a smidge of chilli sauce"

You so BDSM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will there be toast too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Blasphemy. Begone with you! "

Stick with my gooey cheese darling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Avocado AND olives in one thread?

(I'm as common as muck)

What would you like smashed on my pussy my love? Pork scratchings?"

Fray Bentos pies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmmmm avacado.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Blasphemy. Begone with you! "

I'll order some from Ocado, just for you, but I'm NOT eating them out of your arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Avocado AND olives in one thread?

(I'm as common as muck)

What would you like smashed on my pussy my love? Pork scratchings?

Fray Bentos pies"

Not straight from the oven?? My pubes might singe

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....) "

Galia darling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pork scratchings and fray bentos too? .... Add chillies and that'd be the perfect meal.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Blasphemy. Begone with you!

Stick with my gooey cheese darling. "

They wouldn't notice in amongst the thrush though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Pork scratchings and fray bentos too? .... Add chillies and that'd be the perfect meal. "

Fuck off with the chillies people. I need my clit intact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?

Gwackmyhole"

And some fell on stony ground

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To put me off, you'd need a banana..... I can't stand bananas the sight and smell is enough to make me puke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling "

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?

Gwackmyhole

And some fell on stony ground"

I laughed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To put me off, you'd need a banana..... I can't stand bananas the sight and smell is enough to make me puke. "

Noted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....? "

Yea, you smash it on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Blasphemy. Begone with you!

Stick with my gooey cheese darling.

They wouldn't notice in amongst the thrush though."

Ssssh!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To put me off, you'd need a banana..... I can't stand bananas the sight and smell is enough to make me puke. "

I love banana sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

Yes. Definitely black pepper

Freshly ground?

Off course woman! "

She's not sailing ffs :

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on."

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit."

Thats not being fair...

they taste much worse than that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

Yes. Definitely black pepper

Freshly ground?

Off course woman!

She's not sailing ffs :"

I love a sailor though. I'm a nice girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Thats not being fair...

they taste much worse than that

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Thats not being fair...

they taste much worse than that

"

I tried to eat one a couple of weeks ago. I never want to do that again. I'd rather put it in my butt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?

Gwackmyhole

And some fell on stony ground

I laughed "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Thats not being fair...

they taste much worse than that

"
olives are lovely can eat a whole jar no problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

Yes. Definitely black pepper

Freshly ground?

Off course woman!

She's not sailing ffs :

I love a sailor though. I'm a nice girl "

I bet you've got one in every port

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?) "

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know what an avocado is

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

Yes. Definitely black pepper

Freshly ground?

Off course woman!

She's not sailing ffs :

I love a sailor though. I'm a nice girl

I bet you've got one in every port "

Is a port a hole?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is"

Chav alert!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado. "
want to know what'll keep the chavs away? ... A job. Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado. "

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is"

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

Chav alert!"

Im no chav i cant do the wannabe gangsta chat altho i do wear tracky pants a lot

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Is it wrong to want prawn cocktail on top for that classic 1970s vibe?

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By *he Vital SparkMan
over a year ago

Preston


"Avocado AND olives in one thread?

(I'm as common as muck)

What would you like smashed on my pussy my love? Pork scratchings?"

Rather a pork pie( Melton Mowbray) or Scotch egg

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By *hezGeekCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Would that make your pussy a hipster c-word?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit.

Thats not being fair...

they taste much worse than that

olives are lovely can eat a whole jar no problem."

But that is the problem for me...I'd rather eat the jar and leave the olives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx"

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them. "

Pork pie's?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's...... "

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's? "

She's a pasty lass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's? "

Avocado

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know that "jelly" stuff in pork pie's...... Its boiled up pig foot juice....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Would that make your pussy a hipster c-word? "

A hippy cunt?

I was going for posh cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado"

Smashed on one's pussy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You know that "jelly" stuff in pork pie's...... Its boiled up pig foot juice.... "

You know a lot about pork pies. Are you a chav?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know that "jelly" stuff in pork pie's...... Its boiled up pig foot juice.... "

I’m sure I’ve eaten worse in the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy? "

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly"

Yeah but then it becomes like BMW drivers...... The best but common..... Common is the worst c-word possible.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know that "jelly" stuff in pork pie's...... Its boiled up pig foot juice.... "

Irs gelatine its also from bones if you ever do a bone in roast and let the juices cool down it looks the same and its what haribo are made feom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado"
avocado and pork pie? Wonder if that would work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado"

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know that "jelly" stuff in pork pie's...... Its boiled up pig foot juice....

You know a lot about pork pies. Are you a chav? "

Nah, watched a pork pie documentary, just to see how the other half bake.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste "

Avocado has rejuvenating powers! I take it back. And order a dozen for personal use!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also "

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"To quote Jess Phillips "I thought I'd met a lot of rich people, turns out I'd just met a lot of people who eat olives"

I want to love olives; I really do, but they taste like shit."

Agreed! Devils grapes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avocado flavoured condoms? Or lube?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste "

Shhhh, you're giving away all our beauty secrets scissor sister

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste

Avocado has rejuvenating powers! I take it back. And order a dozen for personal use!"

If you saw my labia you would think they belong to a 20 year old.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste

Shhhh, you're giving away all our beauty secrets scissor sister "

I won’t tell them about the avocado pussy mask parties we have while sipping champagne

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly

Yeah but then it becomes like BMW drivers...... The best but common..... Common is the worst c-word possible..... "

Croutons. Croutons are worse than common.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste

Shhhh, you're giving away all our beauty secrets scissor sister

I won’t tell them about the avocado pussy mask parties we have while sipping champagne "

Oh, such wonderful memories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?"

And just a hint of lime

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects..... "

And it keeps the chavs away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly

Yeah but then it becomes like BMW drivers...... The best but common..... Common is the worst c-word possible.....

Croutons. Croutons are worse than common."

.....never heard of them....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime "

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly

Yeah but then it becomes like BMW drivers...... The best but common..... Common is the worst c-word possible.....

Croutons. Croutons are worse than common.

.....never heard of them.... "

That's cos you're not a chav.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away "

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/03/19 22:19:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* rubs my crucifix in avocado *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores "

And smell fresh and zesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly

Yeah but then it becomes like BMW drivers...... The best but common..... Common is the worst c-word possible.....

Croutons. Croutons are worse than common.

.....never heard of them....

That's cos you're not a chav."

......never heard of them.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers.... "

So I've heard. I'm thinking of having a smashed avocado pussy as my profile pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty "

That's gonna pack a sting.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"* rubs my crucifix in avocado *"

So that's what you call it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers....

So I've heard. I'm thinking of having a smashed avocado pussy as my profile pic.

"

Do it and I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting..... "

Only if you have herpes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers....

So I've heard. I'm thinking of having a smashed avocado pussy as my profile pic.

Do it and I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING! "

You're straight yes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"* rubs my crucifix in avocado *

So that's what you call it "

Yeah it's got like a t-shape, women say it tickles....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers....

So I've heard. I'm thinking of having a smashed avocado pussy as my profile pic.

Do it and I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING!

You're straight yes?"

Yes, but like I said, ANYTHING!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes."

.....never heard of it.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers....

So I've heard. I'm thinking of having a smashed avocado pussy as my profile pic.

Do it and I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING!

You're straight yes?

Yes, but like I said, ANYTHING!!! "

You won't be straight for long

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes.

.....never heard of it..... "

I can show you once I get an avocado.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes.

.....never heard of it.....

I can show you once I get an avocado."

Herpes????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont know what an avocado is

It's like a green pork pie my friend xx

It’s amazing and I can’t get enough of them.

Pork pie's?

Avocado

Smashed on one's pussy?

Obviously, I’m a posh cunt also

I guess it has lubrication value and high in essential oils for smoothing and anti wrinkle effects.....

And it keeps the chavs away

Oh, like garlic with bloodsuckers....

So I've heard. I'm thinking of having a smashed avocado pussy as my profile pic.

Do it and I'll do anything for you, ANYTHING!

You're straight yes?

Yes, but like I said, ANYTHING!!!

You won't be straight for long "

ANYTHING!!! xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes.

.....never heard of it.....

I can show you once I get an avocado.

Herpes???? "

Yea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes.

.....never heard of it.....

I can show you once I get an avocado.

Herpes????

Yea "

I still stand by ANYTHING x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes.

.....never heard of it.....

I can show you once I get an avocado.

Herpes????

Yea

I still stand by ANYTHING x"

I'm online to Ocado as we speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should I add pepper?

And just a hint of lime

Oh yes. Lime is an astringent; it will close my pores

And smell fresh and zesty

That's gonna pack a sting.....

Only if you have herpes.

.....never heard of it.....

I can show you once I get an avocado.

Herpes????

Yea

I still stand by ANYTHING x

I'm online to Ocado as we speak "

Good girl, organic obvs xx

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine. "

Spits my cola dummy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?"
Don't worry about the Chavvy types eating advacado off your pussy. Just throw a tin of baked beans down there from the can they will eat the beans, for after all they want a decent meal.

Advacado and pussy might not fill em up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine. "

Unless you get vegan ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine.

Unless you get vegan ones "

Urgh, you heard about the sugar free haribos? How bad they are for your digestive system ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it count as one of the five a day?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine.

Unless you get vegan ones "

That made me spit my beer (I mean poncey posh gin), given the context....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste

Avocado has rejuvenating powers! I take it back. And order a dozen for personal use!

If you saw my labia you would think they belong to a 20 year old. "

I was thinking more under-eye kinda thing. But however it works for you is good right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine.

Unless you get vegan ones

That made me spit my beer (I mean poncey posh gin), given the context.... "

Don’t go knocking posh gin. I brush my teeth in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So are most gummy sweets like Haribo etc... Pork or beef gelatine.

Unless you get vegan ones

That made me spit my beer (I mean poncey posh gin), given the context....

Don’t go knocking posh gin. I brush my teeth in it. "

false?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder silly"
Wonders in their own universe sharing one advacado among ten!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd think it were a waste of a tasty avocado

It keeps my pussy looking 10 years younger, never a waste

Avocado has rejuvenating powers! I take it back. And order a dozen for personal use!

If you saw my labia you would think they belong to a 20 year old.

I was thinking more under-eye kinda thing. But however it works for you is good right?"

Anything that makes my old pussy look younger is a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always wanted to make a hole in a melon and fuck it but never knew which one to choose....

......wouldn't want by be seen fucking a downmarket melon....

(seeds could be an issue too....)

Galia darling

Would they give full penetration, I wouldn't want to be melon cervix bashing....?

Yea, you smash it on.

Could always go double...?

(is this getting too weird now?)

If it keeps the chavs away I'll do one labia melon, one labia avocado.

Do chavs know they're chavs? And do avocado eaters think they can eat their way up the social ladder?...... Just gonna end up with a load of green fat see you next Tuesday's......

Avocado eaters are already at the top of the social ladder sillyWonders in their own universe sharing one advacado among ten! "

That's either a big avocado, or small pussies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably but then you'd have hipsters wanting to drink coffee out of it so I think you'd still lose out one way or the other

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably but then you'd have hipsters wanting to drink coffee out of it so I think you'd still lose out one way or the other "

What could scare away chavs and hipsters?

Steamed turkey breast?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would probably do the trick, turkey breast isn't Vegan, and chavs probably don't know what steam is other than "stuff that comes out the kettle" so it's best of both worlds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a great deal about chavs tonight...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg you tease, I luvre avocados

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That would probably do the trick, turkey breast isn't Vegan, and chavs probably don't know what steam is other than "stuff that comes out the kettle" so it's best of both worlds.

"

Chavs prefer fried chicken from the chicken shop.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Omg you tease, I luvre avocados "

Smashed on me pussy just for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"would the chavvy types avoid it?"
avocado is a niche taste you may end up with conisseurs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still waiting for my pic......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz? "

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Still waiting for my pic...... "

Tesco express didn't have any avocados.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out. "

* raises hand *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.....anything.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out. "

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count? "

You can get packs with all green ones?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

* raises hand *"

How long is your tongue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably but then you'd have hipsters wanting to drink coffee out of it so I think you'd still lose out one way or the other "

I know how to catch a hipster then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably but then you'd have hipsters wanting to drink coffee out of it so I think you'd still lose out one way or the other

I know how to catch a hipster then. "

Your favourite flavour of men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still waiting for my pic......

Tesco express didn't have any avocados. "

.....TESCO???????

.....never heard of it.....

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Do you put the prawns in first,? Do love the smell of fish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Still waiting for my pic......

Tesco express didn't have any avocados.

.....TESCO???????

.....never heard of it..... "

It's like Waitrose...without the avocado.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?"

Can you get packs with all red one's?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you put the prawns in first,? Do love the smell of fish."

No need for prawns

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

Can you get packs with all red one's? "

I've not seen any packs of just one flavour. I love the green ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably but then you'd have hipsters wanting to drink coffee out of it so I think you'd still lose out one way or the other

I know how to catch a hipster then.

Your favourite flavour of men "

I get very weak over one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still waiting for my pic......

Tesco express didn't have any avocados.

.....TESCO???????

.....never heard of it.....

It's like Waitrose...without the avocado. "

Do you get free coffee if you're a member?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paint me green all over and spank me like a naughty avocado!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

Can you get packs with all red one's?

I've not seen any packs of just one flavour. I love the green ones."

Lime, for herpes, whatever that is......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Paint me green all over and spank me like a naughty avocado!"

Can I smash you on my pussy if I do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Paint me green all over and spank me like a naughty avocado!

Can I smash you on my pussy if I do? "

No, I'm fragile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

Can you get packs with all red one's?

I've not seen any packs of just one flavour. I love the green ones.

Lime, for herpes, whatever that is...... "

I don't think lime starburst will be the same as an actual lime.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Paint me green all over and spank me like a naughty avocado!

Can I smash you on my pussy if I do?

No, I'm fragile "

Rub you gently?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably but then you'd have hipsters wanting to drink coffee out of it so I think you'd still lose out one way or the other

I know how to catch a hipster then. "

Depends where you go, Starbucks might have a problem if you walk in and say "I'll have a Latte between my legs pleasr"

Although you get 20p off with a reusable cup right? I'm sure you could convince them to give you a discount for pouring it right into your vagina

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I just check one more thing......

Pussy..... .....you do mean the vaginal type, not like when really "crazy/funny" chicks send you pussy pics but it a dirty fucking cat type....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

Can you get packs with all red one's?

I've not seen any packs of just one flavour. I love the green ones.

Lime, for herpes, whatever that is......

I don't think lime starburst will be the same as an actual lime."

I guess one way to find out......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?"

No but you can get big bags from the pound shop, bound to be enough green ones in a multipack and save the rest for later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

No but you can get big bags from the pound shop, bound to be enough green ones in a multipack and save the rest for later"

What's a pound shop darling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

No but you can get big bags from the pound shop, bound to be enough green ones in a multipack and save the rest for later

What's a pound shop darling? "

It's the "Single parent from a council estate" version of Disneyland except instead of cartoon characters it's cheap makeup and multipacks of crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have I got this all wrong with my youthful innocence?

Is avocado some new elite sex toy I know nothing about? Wireless charging and all that shiz?

It's a green vegetable that one smashed on ones pussy to deter undesirables. I don't enjoy having a vaj filled with green stuff you know.

Not unless someone volunteers to lick it out.

Does a pack of green Starburst count?

You can get packs with all green ones?

No but you can get big bags from the pound shop, bound to be enough green ones in a multipack and save the rest for later

What's a pound shop darling?

It's the "Single parent from a council estate" version of Disneyland except instead of cartoon characters it's cheap makeup and multipacks of crisps "

What's Disney land? Is that for the masses?

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