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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just been asked by a group of teenagers outside tesco's if I would get them 20 Richmonds, go on then i said and got them, I handed them over & you should have heard the abuse they gave me , So I told them "Next time get your own fucking sausages !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man walks into a bar and sees another man with an orange for a head. He walks up and asks how did you get an orange for a head?

The man at the bar replies. Well I found a lamp one day and when I rubbed it a genie appeared out and gave me three wishes.

The first man asks, well what did you wish for?

The man at the bar replies, well my first wish was obviously to have lots of money and my second wish was to have a massive cock.

The first man looking a bit puzzled then asks, so what was your third wish?

The man at the bar replies, I wished I had an orange for a head.

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By *ertnsarahCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich


"A man walks into a bar and sees another man with an orange for a head. He walks up and asks how did you get an orange for a head?

The man at the bar replies. Well I found a lamp one day and when I rubbed it a genie appeared out and gave me three wishes.

The first man asks, well what did you wish for?

The man at the bar replies, well my first wish was obviously to have lots of money and my second wish was to have a massive cock.

The first man looking a bit puzzled then asks, so what was your third wish?

The man at the bar replies, I wished I had an orange for a head.

"

Love it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A man walks into a bar and sees another man with an orange for a head. He walks up and asks how did you get an orange for a head?

The man at the bar replies. Well I found a lamp one day and when I rubbed it a genie appeared out and gave me three wishes.

The first man asks, well what did you wish for?

The man at the bar replies, well my first wish was obviously to have lots of money and my second wish was to have a massive cock.

The first man looking a bit puzzled then asks, so what was your third wish?

The man at the bar replies, I wished I had an orange for a head.

"

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been asked by a group of teenagers outside tesco's if I would get them 20 Richmonds, go on then i said and got them, I handed them over & you should have heard the abuse they gave me , So I told them "Next time get your own fucking sausages !!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs and I agreed yesterday would be cheat day.

So she brought home a KFC and McDonalds and I brought home a busty blonde...

Not sure why I’m in the doghouse?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone called me a sheep yesterday... like I give a flock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between your mom and an orange.

Your mom's a slag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the difference between your mom and an orange.

Your mom's a slag."

Nice

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By *art time deviantsCouple
over a year ago

The mighty fax


"What's the difference between your mom and an orange.

Your mom's a slag."

That tickled me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My grandfather survived mustard gas while serving in the army and pepper spray while working with the police. He's now a seasoned veteran

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't oranges teach water-skiing.

Because they don't have the necessary skill sets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk looks at him in disgust and replies "it's just regular porn, you sick fuck."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why don't oranges teach water-skiing.

Because they don't have the necessary skill sets."

You got a thing for Oranges mind...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why don't oranges teach water-skiing.

Because they don't have the necessary skill sets.

You got a thing for Oranges mind..."

How dare you imply all my jokes are orange based.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't oranges play tennis?

They prefer squash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This guy threw a pint of milk over me, then started pelting me with lumps of cheese.

I thought, "How dairy?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A horse walked into a bar....

Ok Ok I’ll get my coat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddy told Murphy he was going on holiday.

Murphy “ can you bring me back some cigarettes”

Paddy “ no problem Murphy, see you in a week”

Week later..

Paddy “ here’s your cigarettes Murphy”

Murphy “ Thenks Paddy, how much do I owe you”

Paddy “ that’ll be 345 quid”

Murphy “ bloody hell thats expensive, where did you”

Paddy “ Blackpool”....

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