FabSwingers.com forum: Get married and get kids early.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s where I went wrong

Married in my twenties but had the baby when I was 30

Fucks sake

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"That’s where I went wrong

Married in my twenties but had the baby when I was 30

Fucks sake"

Apparantly the same for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got married at 20, now having a baby at 22

Would have had a baby at 20 if I didn’t miscarry. And then again at 21.

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By *inkywife1981Couple
over a year ago

A town near you

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

Married with kids and a mortgage by the time we were 22, I had out oldest when I was 19 and I'm happy though was quite stressful the first few years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got married at 20, now having a baby at 22

Would have had a baby at 20 if I didn’t miscarry. And then again at 21. "

Congratulations xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

Bullocks they are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah I loved my 20s. wouldn't have wanted to miss out on being young and free with disposable income. I wasn't mature enough in my 20s to have kids. It's different for different people.

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

Had both of ours in G's 40s.

Swings and roundabouts. It is what it is!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I was 29, 34 & 35 when I had mine, wouldn't change a thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

What was this program called ‘Sweeping generalisations R us’ ?

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Don't think women are happier being tied down early with responsibilities tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got married at 20, now having a baby at 22

Would have had a baby at 20 if I didn’t miscarry. And then again at 21. "

How many weeks are you now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

Depends on who the dad is. If he's a useless knob then they'd probably be better off single and childless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

There's a lot to this. Recent surveys and studies have shown conclusively that the more women become more career focused the unhappier they become. Still, if that's what they want it's up to them.

What's even stranger is the Norwegian gender paradox. Norway is well known to be the most egalitarian country in the world. They have invested literally billions into gender neutral this that and the other. What's got them scratching their heads is why more than ever before, women go into traditonal caring roles and men go into traditional labour intensive and technical roles.

It seems along with Norway and a few other countries, that when men and women are encouraged to make decisions they want to make, they are far more likely go into traditional gendered careers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?

What was this program called ‘Sweeping generalisations R us’ ? "
It was a swedish program about the role of women in the society.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't think women are happier being tied down early with responsibilities tbh.

In what way were they more happier? Did the programme mean women were less happy being teenage parents and older parents or were they genuinely thrilled when they married and then had kids in their 20s?"
It was more like they could spend more time with them rather than less if having kids to late in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married and have kids early? ,..... That's never going to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married with 3 children at 21. I was very happy until their father cheated on me.

I now have an 18 year old grandson.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wasn't and have never been career minded. I stayed at home with my kids in a traditional family set up.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I’m nearing 40 and not had either.

I regret nothing. It’s been a fun wild ride up to this point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s possibly something to be said for it, bodily wise women are better equipped to have babies earlier rather than later. By they time you’re 40+ kids possibly have flown the nest, more disposable cash, that kinda thing.

Saying that, there was no way I was giving up partying my way through my 20’s to have babies!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course this programme was propaganda for a population in decline as we move away from the dated opinions of these institutions.

My reality is. Mum got married and kid before 25. Then got cheated on, divorced and is now a hateful old woman who will die alone because she can't trust men. So no I don't think rushing in to a family in your 20s will make you happier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I got married and had my baby at 19. That marriage didn't last. The pregnancy wasn't planned. It did scupper my career goals a bit. however I'm now 35 my son is doing his GCSEs and I have a lot of freedom and I think actually life isn't so bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my children at 20 21 and 25. Definitely right for me having them young. The last one nearly finished me off lol. I admire these ladies having babies, raising toddlers and doing school runs in their late 30s, 40s and more. Take my hat off to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got married at 20, now having a baby at 22

Would have had a baby at 20 if I didn’t miscarry. And then again at 21. "

Excellent news on the impending pregnancy you will love being a young mum you can enjoy all the fun stuff. My son is so open with me and we have such a understanding and friendship we would never have had if I had him later in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/19 17:39:22]

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Don't think women are happier being tied down early with responsibilities tbh.

It was more like they could spend more time with them rather than less if having kids to late in life."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't think women are happier being tied down early with responsibilities tbh.

It was more like they could spend more time with them rather than less if having kids to late in life.

Makes sense. I used to use parenting forums and you'd see somemums being bitter about having to work to pay for their kids. You could tell they wanted to spend more time with them, although others enjoyed work and the adult time that gave them."
That is right, my mum got me when I was 20, good choice cos I can spend more time with my parents and as well with the grandparents and all of my relatives too.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

"Don't think women are happier being tied down early with responsibilities tbh.

It was more like they could spend more time with them rather than less if having kids to late in life.

Makes sense. I used to use parenting forums and you'd see somemums being bitter about having to work to pay for their kids. You could tell they wanted to spend more time with them, although others enjoyed work and the adult time that gave them.That is right, my mum got me when I was 20, good choice cos I can spend more time with my parents and as well with the grandparents and all of my relatives too."

Same here as well. Birthday parties were the best.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

For me it’s the wrong way round as lots hit the mid life crisis as they didn’t get out and have lots of partners so feel left out by the time they get to 40. Then it’s off out with there newly single mates and think the grass is greener without doubt this is a fact.

My advice for the younger ones is simple go out till at least 25 get fucked a lot and don’t have kids till at least 30 and watch the divorce rates drop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

I don't have any kids but I'm happy

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By *LawMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I've never been married and my boy came when i was 23. I can say im happier single with my kid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got married at 20, now having a baby at 22

Would have had a baby at 20 if I didn’t miscarry. And then again at 21. "

Sorry to hear you've had problems. Sometimes people don't realise it's not all plain sailing, having a baby. X

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

It worked for me... though I am on marriage 2 as the first didn't last long

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got married at 20, had all my kids by the time I was 26 and the night before my 30 birthday to the night before my 31st I went completely off the rails, almost turned into an alcoholic, missed my kids doing the most important things in life, missed so many bedtimes and god knows what, I woke up the day of my 31st birthday a broken women.

Do I wish I had kids older and got married a little older? Without a shadow of a doubt, when I met my first husband I hadn’t done any living, I lived a very sheltered life, then I met him and never got to experience going out and when I suddenly had ‘friends’ ten years later I went completely over the top, I was lucky I didn’t lose my family. I love my boys to the end of the earth of course I do but I wished I did some growing before I settled down.

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

Nah.

Mid and late 40s here. Together 20+ yrs and no intention of getting married. Had our kids mid 30's.

Only regret (sometimes) is that we didn't have kids earlier as I would have had a football team.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Working for us ok so far.

Lots of my friends had their children older and most seem to find it pretty tiring.

Ours are pretty independent now so we're rediscovering our freedom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was 18 when I had my first. He is 25 years old now, independent, own house about to buy a business. My youngest is a games developer

They are like best friends! So much in common. Best of all, when the grandbabies come along I'll still be young enough to see them grow.

Being a young Mum never hindered me, still managed to forge a career, do 2 degrees and raise two kind hearted, hard working boys in the process.

They've watched me work hard, study hard and they are proud of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was married at 23, had my only child at 33. Worked out just fine for me and I'm perfectly content.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course this programme was propaganda for a population in decline as we move away from the dated opinions of these institutions.

Lol I did have to laugh at your propaganda statement.

There's a reason for lowering birth rates. Mostly its due to men. Men are becoming less interested in getting married and settling down.

The main reason for that is the massive inequalities in divorce. Men lose their homes, access to their children, half their income etc etc.

Most men look at how their dads get screwed when mum gets bored and divorces him and they think "fuck that". They don't want to take the risk. Especially with ever increasing rates of divorce.

Add to that the misandric attitude in society these days, especially in the media. Most men are portrayed as incompetent and inferior rather than as equals. So they've just given up.

Why risk losing everything when you can keep it all to yourself, and never have to spend your life trying to live up to impossible standards that women seem to want these days.

I have a 7 year old boy. I genuinely worry for his future and relationships. A lot of women these days are terrible. Have a look at dating apps. I had a look at my friends POF one day to see what the fuss was about. It was an eye opener. When you look at a guys profile, it usually tells you a bit about themselves, what kind of personality they have, what kind of things they like to do etc. Then when you look at a woman's profile, it reads like a list of demands from a hostage taker. Nothing about what they have to offer, only what they want.

And they wonder why they are all alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have children so I don't know.

However my sister was very young when she had her children 18 with her first and 20 with her second.

It was a real struggle in the early days and still is to a certain extent however she is now only in her late thirties that has practically grown up children.

She now is enjoying life to the full but the great thing is that she now has the resources and emotional maturity to really enjoy life.

How children really enjoyed having a younger mother also.

I'm not sure if it makes her happier than a woman who waited but she most definitely does not regret having her children young.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have children so I don't know.

However my sister was very young when she had her children 18 with her first and 20 with her second.

It was a real struggle in the early days and still is to a certain extent however she is now only in her late thirties that has practically grown up children.

She now is enjoying life to the full but the great thing is that she now has the resources and emotional maturity to really enjoy life.

How children really enjoyed having a younger mother also.

I'm not sure if it makes her happier than a woman who waited but she most definitely does not regret having her children young. "

Yes I must admit I wish I'd done it sooner. I'm 40 now. I'm gonna be pushing 50 when he hits his teens haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course this programme was propaganda for a population in decline as we move away from the dated opinions of these institutions.

Lol I did have to laugh at your propaganda statement.

There's a reason for lowering birth rates. Mostly its due to men. Men are becoming less interested in getting married and settling down.

The main reason for that is the massive inequalities in divorce. Men lose their homes, access to their children, half their income etc etc.

Most men look at how their dads get screwed when mum gets bored and divorces him and they think "fuck that". They don't want to take the risk. Especially with ever increasing rates of divorce.

Add to that the misandric attitude in society these days, especially in the media. Most men are portrayed as incompetent and inferior rather than as equals. So they've just given up.

Why risk losing everything when you can keep it all to yourself, and never have to spend your life trying to live up to impossible standards that women seem to want these days.

And they wonder why they are all alone."

Interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course this programme was propaganda for a population in decline as we move away from the dated opinions of these institutions.

Lol I did have to laugh at your propaganda statement.

There's a reason for lowering birth rates. Mostly its due to men. Men are becoming less interested in getting married and settling down.

The main reason for that is the massive inequalities in divorce. Men lose their homes, access to their children, half their income etc etc.

Most men look at how their dads get screwed when mum gets bored and divorces him and they think "fuck that". They don't want to take the risk. Especially with ever increasing rates of divorce.

Add to that the misandric attitude in society these days, especially in the media. Most men are portrayed as incompetent and inferior rather than as equals. So they've just given up.

Why risk losing everything when you can keep it all to yourself, and never have to spend your life trying to live up to impossible standards that women seem to want these days.

And they wonder why they are all alone."

I watched a programme about a woman’s refuge last night. Scary how some men behave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about not getting married and not having kids? That could be the happiest decision of all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess I missed my boat then...

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By *estivalMan
over a year ago

borehamwood

my first was born when i was 20. my youngest when i was 40. swings and roundabouts really. with my oldest was younger so had lot more energy for the late nights and early mornings.but wasnt really mature enough if truth be told.with my youngest i may not have as much energy but find i do lots more with her whenever i have her wich is quiet a lot why shes still young.by time shes 12 or 13 i doubt i will see her half as much so making the most of it why she still wants to spend weekends with her dad lol

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I mainly got pissed and stoned in my 20’s- clubs and raves most weekends- had a blast!, time for a well paid job too

Never married, no kids- got fixed so there’s no accidents. Got a lovely house, nice car, 2-3 holidays a year, no debts, little stress and the only thing that stops me doing what I want, when I want is work.

Explain again how having kids and being tied down at 20 makes you happier?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Explain again how having kids and being tied down at 20 makes you happier?

Personally I'd hate the idea of old age having not had children but if people get there and they're happy with that then good for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mainly got pissed and stoned in my 20’s- clubs and raves most weekends- had a blast!, time for a well paid job too

Explain again how having kids and being tied down at 20 makes you happier?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching an interesting program saying that if you got married and had kids in your 20s you would be alot happier especially women, whats your view?"

Married at 17 had 1st baby at 17

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think following prescriptions for your life makes you unhappy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooooohhhhh that's why I'm a miserable cow then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s worked for me now it’s my time...

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