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"Personally I like a woman who knows her own mind, and is open about what she wants." This is what I've generally found in the past...perhaps it's the weather | |||
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"I think there are lots of men who can't cope with confident sexually experienced women. I suspect a lot of men like the idea of Fab but going through with it is another thing entirely. Any man worth his salt will be attracted to a confident woman. You've just been unlucky recently. Nita" Thanks...I don't usually let anything on Fab bother me, but it's just happened too many times lately and it's got me wondering | |||
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"I've met men who are intimidated by confident women. When you find them, run, don't walk away. " Haha, brilliant advice...I shall put it into practise right away | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? " Sounds great to me but one thing to be aware of is it can be tricky for men to say a blunt thanks but no thanks sometimes. Due to the ratio imbalance on here there's a fairly common perception that men don't say no to a meet and so some women (not saying you do) approach men with that kind of attitude, saying no to them might feel awkward to some guys and so they fudge about trying to let them down gently. I can see how that would come across confusing to the woman as they may have thought everything was rosy up until then although the guy had doubts all along. | |||
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"I never plan meets myself. I can't just be turned on about a planned meet and like spontaneous. Maybe that's putting the guys off?" Yes, I get that, and I understand that some men will also feel that way...but surely not ten in the last few months | |||
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"No, but online theres a fine line between comming across confidant and desperate and one of those is a universal turn off" I really hope I don't sound desperate My usual approach would be to just say 'so do you fancy meeting? ' during the course of a chat...I personally wouldn't class that as seeming desperate. And I would never ask repeatedly. | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? Sounds great to me but one thing to be aware of is it can be tricky for men to say a blunt thanks but no thanks sometimes. Due to the ratio imbalance on here there's a fairly common perception that men don't say no to a meet and so some women (not saying you do) approach men with that kind of attitude, saying no to them might feel awkward to some guys and so they fudge about trying to let them down gently. I can see how that would come across confusing to the woman as they may have thought everything was rosy up until then although the guy had doubts all along." So when you said you were washing your hair.......... | |||
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"I never plan meets myself. I can't just be turned on about a planned meet and like spontaneous. Maybe that's putting the guys off? Yes, I get that, and I understand that some men will also feel that way...but surely not ten in the last few months " Only other thing i can think of, going off your first post, is that they just aren't that interested in you that way and don't know how to turn someone down? Most guys get a little bit sexual in chat if interested. | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? " No | |||
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"No, but online theres a fine line between comming across confidant and desperate and one of those is a universal turn off I really hope I don't sound desperate My usual approach would be to just say 'so do you fancy meeting? ' during the course of a chat...I personally wouldn't class that as seeming desperate. And I would never ask repeatedly. " Desperate is when woman keeps sending messages when it's clear there's no connection | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? Sounds great to me but one thing to be aware of is it can be tricky for men to say a blunt thanks but no thanks sometimes. Due to the ratio imbalance on here there's a fairly common perception that men don't say no to a meet and so some women (not saying you do) approach men with that kind of attitude, saying no to them might feel awkward to some guys and so they fudge about trying to let them down gently. I can see how that would come across confusing to the woman as they may have thought everything was rosy up until then although the guy had doubts all along. So when you said you were washing your hair.......... " I was actually shaving my pubes | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? Sounds great to me but one thing to be aware of is it can be tricky for men to say a blunt thanks but no thanks sometimes. Due to the ratio imbalance on here there's a fairly common perception that men don't say no to a meet and so some women (not saying you do) approach men with that kind of attitude, saying no to them might feel awkward to some guys and so they fudge about trying to let them down gently. I can see how that would come across confusing to the woman as they may have thought everything was rosy up until then although the guy had doubts all along. So when you said you were washing your hair.......... I was actually shaving my pubes" makes sense as you haven’t got much up too | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? Sounds great to me but one thing to be aware of is it can be tricky for men to say a blunt thanks but no thanks sometimes. Due to the ratio imbalance on here there's a fairly common perception that men don't say no to a meet and so some women (not saying you do) approach men with that kind of attitude, saying no to them might feel awkward to some guys and so they fudge about trying to let them down gently. I can see how that would come across confusing to the woman as they may have thought everything was rosy up until then although the guy had doubts all along. So when you said you were washing your hair.......... I was actually shaving my pubes makes sense as you haven’t got much up top " FTFM | |||
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"Personally I like a woman who knows her own mind, and is open about what she wants." | |||
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"I dont find it offputting at all. I prefer women to come to me Not because I'm shy, or submissive. I like a woman who is confident and knows what she wants. I do like to take things at my own pace though and I like to flirt with lots of different people. Someone too pushy can be off putting. Confidence, not arrogance mind. The other things you've posted.. I may buy time to reply to things, I may have other people taking my time up, my kids, my life. Other friends I've known longer. I never commit to anything too far in advance, but I don't meet on the fly. Could be a number of reasons I slow in responding when at others I've been quick. If I'm not interested physically, after a social, I won't mention it, till it's brought up. Hoping she picked it up like I did. If she were to ask, I'd tell her the truth, delicately. If I liked her, I'd hope shed stay a friend. If we got that friendly first. If you're not sure, I don't see the harm in asking them, if they got as far as kissing you. " Of course I understand that people have a life away from here...I can take a while to respond to messages when i'm busy. I suppose i'm guilty of thinking everyone is as matter of fact as me..I will tell people on a social meet if I don't want to take it any further, in a nice way of course. | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? Sounds great to me but one thing to be aware of is it can be tricky for men to say a blunt thanks but no thanks sometimes. Due to the ratio imbalance on here there's a fairly common perception that men don't say no to a meet and so some women (not saying you do) approach men with that kind of attitude, saying no to them might feel awkward to some guys and so they fudge about trying to let them down gently. I can see how that would come across confusing to the woman as they may have thought everything was rosy up until then although the guy had doubts all along. So when you said you were washing your hair.......... I was actually shaving my pubes makes sense as you haven’t got much up too " Plenty down below though my luv | |||
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"Men are flakey. " Haha...some are....I just seem to be finding those ones at the minute | |||
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"Confidence in women is fucking sexy!" he's right you know !! | |||
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"I'm confident, veering on aggressive if i really want something. It can put some off, but those it doesn't, I've had a hell of a lot of fun with " Oh me too This just seems to be happening a lot lately | |||
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"In my area, I find confident strong women, scare the shit out of men! They openly admit I sound intimidating even though I thought my profile was friendly and inviting ish! I'm an army brat, so moved around a lot in former years so don't suffer fools gladly, and a lot of men just feel uncomfortable with that. Add in the fact I also sound like I am not from here and they probably think I am more intelligent than they are and they run for the hills! I do actually think a lot of men need to rethink how they treat women on here and if they are intimidated then deal with it! " I really like your profile...and nobody can say they don't know what to expect | |||
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"Confident women are attractive. The reason you get the sudden lack of interest will likely be down to the situation turning from fantasy to reality when you suggest a meet, not because you are being forward or confident. The ones that go silent probably know that the reality does not match the image they have built online so time to bail before being rumbled." I honestly hadn't thought of it like that, but that is a plausible reason | |||
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"am a little over 5ft .7 stone .know what i want and have had men running for back seats at angels cinema .coz they carnt handle on top girls .want their mummies ha ,back soon " | |||
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"In my area, I find confident strong women, scare the shit out of men! They openly admit I sound intimidating even though I thought my profile was friendly and inviting ish! I'm an army brat, so moved around a lot in former years so don't suffer fools gladly, and a lot of men just feel uncomfortable with that. Add in the fact I also sound like I am not from here and they probably think I am more intelligent than they are and they run for the hills! I do actually think a lot of men need to rethink how they treat women on here and if they are intimidated then deal with it! I really like your profile...and nobody can say they don't know what to expect " Thank you for saying that and confirming what I believed, much appreciated | |||
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"I think that an awful lot of people like the idea of a confident and independent lady, the idea of... However in reality I think that some guys are a little unsettled by someone who is more forthright about what they want. I think that an awful lot of people (male and female) still fall back into common societal roles of men being the aggressor and if that gets flipped then that makes them uneasy. It's unfortunate that it's happened, but perhaps look at it as them filtering themselves out, maybe you weren't as well suited as you'd hoped. Personally I wish that more ladies took your approach as I find sexual confidence a very attractive quality and I'm sure that plenty of other guys do too. Don't change who you are or your approach just to suit people that possibly aren't 'right'. " Very true, and I have found that to be the case on occasion. And although I haven't consciously changed my approach, this has happened a lot more recently. | |||
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"They actually turn me on" FAF? | |||
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"There is a difference between confident, pushy, desperate and a bunny boiler. Unfortunately they can all be mistaken for each other. Now massive generalisation here, but men generally aren’t great at distinguishing between them. You can imagine the confusion this causes? So OP you being confident is probably confusing the hell out of them " What's the male term for a 'bunny boiler' may I ask as I fucking hate how that is brandished about so easily! | |||
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"I think there are lots of men who can't cope with confident sexually experienced women. I suspect a lot of men like the idea of Fab but going through with it is another thing entirely. Any man worth his salt will be attracted to a confident woman. You've just been unlucky recently. Nita" I agree with this | |||
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"There is a difference between confident, pushy, desperate and a bunny boiler. Unfortunately they can all be mistaken for each other. Now massive generalisation here, but men generally aren’t great at distinguishing between them. You can imagine the confusion this causes? So OP you being confident is probably confusing the hell out of them What's the male term for a 'bunny boiler' may I ask as I fucking hate how that is brandished about so easily! " Thrush? | |||
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" I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? " Yes...erm, no....erm, just tell me what to say. | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? " No when I was here on my own I’d have love to have a woman tell me she wanted to meet. Confidence is sexy as fuck doesn’t matter what size or shape you are own it Doughnut | |||
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"I think there are lots of men who can't cope with confident sexually experienced women. I suspect a lot of men like the idea of Fab but going through with it is another thing entirely. Any man worth his salt will be attracted to a confident woman. You've just been unlucky recently. Nita Thanks...I don't usually let anything on Fab bother me, but it's just happened too many times lately and it's got me wondering " I know exactly how you feel 0P as these things happen to me too. | |||
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"I've had several men lately either being woolly about details when looking to arrange a play meet, or arranging and then cancelling - I was wondering if it's putting them off because i'm asking to meet and being too forward in their eyes. For background, i'm not just sending FAF messages - they are all people that i've chatted to, we've been getting on (no real sex chat, just likes, dislikes, boundaries etc). I've even had social meets with a couple of them, where there's been lots of flirting and they've initiated a kiss. Further talking, still getting on well. Then when I ask if they'd like a play meet, I get one of the below -Radio silence -They say yes but then won't commit to a day and time -We arrange a meet but they then cancel and I get radio silence I'm not one to chase and chase, so I'll send one message probably a few days after to say hi and see if they still want to meet I realise that people change their minds for a myriad of reasons, and completely respect that...I would wish them well on their Fab journey and move on. This isn't about me being rejected, I can handle that and move on with a smile. Each of the above scenarios has happened at least twice in the last few months, which is making me question whether it is my approach causing it. I'm just wondering if it would put any of you men folk off if a lady asked you for a meet? Would you see it as them being too forward? " First men lkie to be the ones who chat you up secound alot of the men on here are not swinger. third men has a whole like a woman to play hard to get its what i do in my time on here i met over 80 men but I dont play with everyone I meet nore do I promise to. I work on socail frist and make them take me our for lunch for eample. fith for lof of folk on here tis about the chace rather than a price. Six not everyone on this site swing. seven some are just looking or not sure eight a good number of men on are are not swingers and are looking for just one play mate not to shag all the way with everyone on fab. Nineth which is the big one hunni if folk are to full on it can be very easy to put some off Now my advice is slow it down never asume anything just see what happens and rember this is fox hunt on here and rember half the time the fox gets away | |||
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