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1234 I DECLARE A PUN WAR!!

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth

Lets see how many we can cram in one thread..

Only rules are: must relate somehow/link in with anything posted in previous replies to the thread & Original material only!

Ill kick it off with a twist on a joke i was told earlier..

"You couldn't hit me with that rhythm stick if i was stood 2 ft infront of you ya cackhanded wankspanner!"

.... well thats Just adding insult to Ian Dury!

...

GO!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in a cocktail bar and this woman asked for a double entendre.

So I gave her one.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I walked into a bar. Ouch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank god for nipples, without them boobs would be pointless

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth

i was waiting for a good moment to drop this fish and herb related pun.. well now seems like the perfect thyme and the plaice

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By *eeroybrownMan
over a year ago

aldershot

I was walking down the road and somebody threw a prawn cocktail at me. And that was just for starters.

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

'After that I found a watch on the floor. '

'Analogue?'

'No, just a watch.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'After that I found a watch on the floor. '

'Analogue?'

'No, just a watch.' "

I once fingered a girl at the cinema , it got a bit raunchy when she suddenly cried could you take your ring off, I said its not my ring its my watch

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth

last date i took to watch a film was a lovely lady named palm-ela handerson

Utter filth she was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had sex in a church and was taken up the apse.

If you don't know that's the bit in the middle leading up to the alter.

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth


"I was walking down the road and somebody threw a prawn cocktail at me. And that was just for starters. "

i have the same thing keep happening to me every time i walk past this one preachy guy in town. Think his names Chuck, the prawn again christian

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth

when it happened to you was it served on a bed of shredded lettuce?? Cos if so just you wait.. thats just the tip of the iceberg matey!

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin


"Had sex in a church and was taken up the apse.

If you don't know that's the bit in the middle leading up to the alter."

Last time I was at confession I said to the priest 'Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I like having sex with dogs.'

The Priest was flustered. 'You pervert,' he says. 'How low can you go?'

'Jack Russell.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sign over a pub door

Liquor in the front

Poker in the rear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sign over a pub door

Liquor in the front

Poker in the rear

"

It was the best pub I had ever been to

I asked the barmaid to pull me one

She started pumping until something warm and frothy cum out

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By *rtraymondo76Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Guy I know used to keep his camping gear up in the rafters of his green house. (Don't ask why). One day the portable toilet fell down and clipped him on the head.

I'd told him several times that people in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guy I know used to keep his camping gear up in the rafters of his green house. (Don't ask why). One day the portable toilet fell down and clipped him on the head.

I'd told him several times that people in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones."

Have you ever had sex while camping?

I tell you it's Fucking in tents

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Guy I know used to keep his camping gear up in the rafters of his green house. (Don't ask why). One day the portable toilet fell down and clipped him on the head.

I'd told him several times that people in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Have you ever had sex while camping?

I tell you it's Fucking in tents "

Tent pegging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guy I know used to keep his camping gear up in the rafters of his green house. (Don't ask why). One day the portable toilet fell down and clipped him on the head.

I'd told him several times that people in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Have you ever had sex while camping?

I tell you it's Fucking in tents

Tent pegging?"

I would run away from any woman that tries that on me but you can't run in a campsite, you can only Ran as its past tents....

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By *rtraymondo76Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Oh my lord. Now they're really going down hill. Take a note from the Romans.

They liked

"Rolling a gong on the chest of a slave" just like good boy scouts.

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth


"Oh my lord. Now they're really going down hill. Take a note from the Romans.

They liked

"Rolling a gong on the chest of a slave" just like good boy scouts."

Slightly tempted to chime in on this decsent down hill.. but im not that way inclined

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By *readzy OP   Man
over a year ago

lutterworth


"Guy I know used to keep his camping gear up in the rafters of his green house. (Don't ask why). One day the portable toilet fell down and clipped him on the head.

I'd told him several times that people in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Have you ever had sex while camping?

I tell you it's Fucking in tents

Tent pegging?"

Probably followed up with plenty of guy ropes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since it didn't work in the nocturnal post your getting the joy here.

Diarrhea is a genetic family trait on the father's side. If he suffered from it the children will too.

A study was done and they found that diarrhoea starts in the jeans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried to leave fab once, but found it was just too hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend was ment to do a presentation at uni on innuendo, she backed out and asked me to fill her slot

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