FabSwingers.com forum: phrases or sayings that make you smile

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ive seen loads of Facebook and often end up having a good giggle. I'll start off with one:

'i don't hate you, just hope your next period starts when your in a shark tank'

Do you have any to add?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I promise i won't cum in your mouth

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By *ugartitsandhimCouple
over a year ago

North West

One that made me laugh

"she was so ugly she looked like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle" lololol

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

"'i don't hate you, just hope your next period starts when your in a shark tank"

Haha. Like it !

A favourite saying of ours :

Smile and the world smiles back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lifes a bitch and then you marry one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

like a tramp eating chips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you're always gonna have trouble lifting a body in one piece

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

spider spider on the wall, please come down before you fall, you know that wall has just been plastered, get down here you little bastard!

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By *ayman2002Man
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I give the best blow jobs ever"

...always makes me chuckle, that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always a pleasure never a chore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One that made me laugh

"she was so ugly she looked like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle" lololol

"
pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God loves a tryer ( what the fooks than mean)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is that your normal face or you got a bad smell under your nose...

do you always have a face like a skelped ( smacked )arse ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp (love that one)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good things come to those that wait, ffs been waiting 50+ years now and it still aint fookin come. lying twats

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

please and thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn that frown upside down

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I'm choking

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Another phrase we use is 'Fuck Em'

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Or another one 'would ya'

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

You can't _iew this profile

This profile is not available for you to _iew.

This can be one of three things: User's account is suspended by admin, user has blocked you or you have blocked user.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fur coat, no knickers. Cant make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

sweat - making your fat cry :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love you Daddy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Empty vessels make the most noise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He'd fuck a good cunt up!

Got a face like a bag of chisels!

Last time I saw legs like that they were stood in a nest!

She's got a fanny like a yawning donkey!

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By *ornyTaraCouple
over a year ago

Dorset

"I promise i won't cum in your mouth

I promise if you do i'll rip your bollocks off

I once heard a girl say, I wouldn,t give you the steam of my sh*t, made me laugh, mind you I knew the bulldog she was saying it to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not saying she's ugly but she had a face like 10miles of rough road.

I'm not saying she's ugly but it looked like someone had chopped firewood on her face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a general rule, I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception

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By *riendlyfunfemWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

"good things come to those that wait, ffs been waiting 50+ years now and it still aint fookin come. lying twats"

haha, like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother once pointed out a man who had an 'arse like two boiled eggs in a hanky'...I liked that.

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !

"You can't _iew this profile

This profile is not available for you to _iew.

This can be one of three things: User's account is suspended by admin, user has blocked you or you have blocked user."

Or your name is _iew.

/ saw what you did there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and there are loads of Welsh phrases that make me chuckle!

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By *xscotMan
over a year ago

Kingston

for all pessimists

"there is always trouble at somebodies door"

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By *aulnh2Man
over a year ago

belfast

Men are like bagpipes: no sound comes from them until they're full.

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By *ornyTaraCouple
over a year ago

Dorset

Always love the quote 'I'm not a proctologist, but I know an arsehole when I see one'

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

" she was that fat i had to roll her in flour and fuck the wet patches "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"yes i really have 9 inches"....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the sites you see when you haven't got your gun

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

You suffer from delusions of adequacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do so hope your next shite is a hedgehog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't win a black eye in a fight, or I couldn't win a kiss in a brothel with 20 quid hanging out of my pocket,

My old ma used to send me to the shop as a kid and say run both ways and walk back, it ment hurry up but never got it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh another one I like is she had a pussy like a mouses ear,

It's like throwing a sausage down the channel tunnel

And I use put wood in t'hole all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He/she had a face like a blind cobblers thumb.

He/she had one eye going to the shops for chocolate and the other was coming home with the change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he/she has a superiority complex

another one is

i am totally underwhelmed

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By *ravellingAndyMan
over a year ago

Brandon

not only were they born in the ugly tree but they hit every branch on the way down

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By *ravellingAndyMan
over a year ago

Brandon

or while watching xfactor got talent brother, 'is there no beginning to their talent?'

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

my personal favourite, used most often on fab... Fuck Right Off Fud Face, or FROFF©® ™ for short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've got the mind of a four year old and I bet he was glad to be rid of it.

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"I promise i won't cum in your mouth

"
and the cheques in the post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I promise i won't cum in your mouth

and the cheques in the post

Trust me !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

old Favorite said at the barbers, Something for the weekend Sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BREAKING NEWS.....Alex Ferguson has been rushed into hospital, doctors say he only has hours to live!

lol

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

Can we do that again plleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im no door expert but I know a nob when I see one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard from a squaddie mate of mine when returning from exercise and getting in the shower block...."Fuck me...you could get more heat and pressure from an Ants Bladder!"....

I did a little wee laughing...guess you had to be there he he

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you are only as old as the woman you feel

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By *illybWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

fanny like a pasters bucket lol pmsl that was from a friend of here as well he knows who it is pm me and i will shame him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

either pee or get off the pot

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Got thrown around,

like a turd in a piss pot!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i'd like to help you but i just cant fix stupid

When you really want to slap someone, just do it and shout 'Mosquito!'

Haters if your talking behind my back, your in a brilliant position to kiss my fucking ass

Wizard of Oz - the ultimate chick flick, 2 women trying to kill each other over a pair of red sparkly shoes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just like to say, I really enjoyed that... but why make a liar of myself?

Over the years, I've come to think of you all as people I've met.

Take a bite of peach

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By *weet DevilMan
over a year ago

dukinfield

today i feel like a 21 year old pity the 21 year old dont feel the same

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i love my 6 pack so much, i protect it with a layer of fat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

the human brain is amazing, it functions 24/7 for 365days a year from the moment we were born and stops the moment...... we take exams

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over the years, I've come to think of you all as people I've met.

Is that quote from Red Dwarf?

If so, here's another: Better dead than smeg

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

"Fur coat, no knickers. Cant make a silk purse out of a sows ear."

round here is a bit deprived so its.

fur knickers and no coat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She is an airplane blonde....with a black box down below.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

i'd do anything for money, it just wont do a thing for me!

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By *ixson-BallsMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

i'd rather shit in my hands and clap...

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"I promise i won't cum in your mouth

and the cheques in the post

and "My wife doesn't understand me"

The world's 3 greatest lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well ast go to foot of our stairs!.

hmmm interesting seing as you live in a feckin bungalo

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

As long as I've got a hole in my arse, there's no way I'd...........

insert thing you wouldn't do (vote lib-dem would be mine)

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Was saying to a mate t'other week how much I wanted to see Muse in concert and he said he wouldn't go to the back window to see them if they were playing in the yard.....did make me giggle, even though his taste is obviously all in his mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suck it up, cupcake!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bazinga!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you took the words right out of my arse !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Close your arse and give your mouth a chance to talk! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a king always a king, but once a knight is enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once, as I ever was!

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By *hooter McGavinMan
over a year ago

Exeter

you can put make up on a pig but its still a pig

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By *hooter McGavinMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter!

you can polish a turd though, they did it on myth busters lol

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

"i'd rather shit in my hands and clap...

Quality. One for the back burner that!

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By *ush_tushWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

He had a chin like a roll of bacon....

Had a face only a mother could love.....

there's loads more but they make me chuckle

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