FabSwingers.com forum: That Wednesday Aternoon Pint: Pt1

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This week brought to you live from rural Staffordshire.

Over the hump and not so far away from Friday. The Wednesday afternoon pint is often taken in unfamiliar surrounds because I like to get out of the office on this day if I get the chance.

The reason for this is two-fold: If I go out on a Wednesday morning it means I'm out the door in the first half of the week but by the time I get back late in the afternoon, were three fifths in..or 60% for the remainers. We're sliding downhill gracelessly like Gemma Collins taking on the Cresta Run in a pair of 4" Matalan copy Manolo Blahniks.

The second reason is because our office cleaner comes round on Wednesdays and I like to avoid her because chuff me is her hoover loud, I can barely hear myself think. I think she's got one of those 1960s uprights, made by Boeing. It's the smell of kerosine that gives it away. I call my office 'airside' and the one across the way 'landside'...if you know your airport terminology?

So here I am, in a nice little English country pub with its usual mix of eccentric locals. I say mix, there's 2 other customers in here, they're not together. The pub offers a fine choice of tempting ales as many of these old country establishments do but being the sensible guy that I am, I suffer a pint of lager shandy and just hope I don't get recognised by anybody who may wander in. Appearing in court for drink driving is right at the bottom of my agenda but getting caught drinking shandy is closely tucked in alongside it. There are some damn fine women to be found around the houses of justice these days though and I've taken to dallying with one lately. With me being fluent in tupingbon, her perspicacious nature doesn't phase me.

To be continued...