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Coming out

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My amazing beautiful niece came out this weekend and I’m so proud of her. She’s been a troubled soul for a few years and not been able to identify what she was but this weekend she came out (we all knew anyway) Proud of my sister and her Nan who was amazing but I think my brother in law is finding it hard.

Trying to offer my support but he keeps saying I’ll never be a grandfather or walk her down the aisle.

Any advise please xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He could still do both of those things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He could still do both of those things."

I did explain this, he’s a bit funny at times and not seeing that this is the happiest she’s been in years.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Remind him that he loves her and wants her to be happy. It's not about what he wants (which is totally achievable anyway).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Remind him that he loves her and wants her to be happy. It's not about what he wants (which is totally achievable anyway).

"

Exactly! He’s rather conventional, so

I know it’s hard for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend of mine came out as gay a fair few years ago to his parents. His mum was absolutely fine with it and very supportive as was his stepdad although he did struggle a little bit.

His Step Dad asked him how long he's known he was gay before came out. His reply was he'd known for ages but wanted to make sure he was completely comfortable with it before he said anything.

His step dad's reply was I still love you but like it took you some time to feel comfortable with it it's going to take me time too.

So maybe he could say something like that to her if that's how he feels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleased for her xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A friend of mine came out as gay a fair few years ago to his parents. His mum was absolutely fine with it and very supportive as was his stepdad although he did struggle a little bit.

His Step Dad asked him how long he's known he was gay before came out. His reply was he'd known for ages but wanted to make sure he was completely comfortable with it before he said anything.

His step dad's reply was I still love you but like it took you some time to feel comfortable with it it's going to take me time too.

So maybe he could say something like that to her if that's how he feels. "

I think he’s more upset that we all knew as we’d worked it out years ago but he hasn’t. He know feels he can’t have been close to her if he didn’t see it, he’s rather struggling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Pleased for her xxx"
m

So was I. Never seen her so brave and happy.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have friends with with three daughters. Two are lesbian. One was so conflicted about who she was we almost lost her.

They are a happy and close family grateful that they can all be honest with each other. It's become even more important now that one of the parents has developed a life-limiting condition. The time is too precious to waste it on being selfish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have friends with with three daughters. Two are lesbian. One was so conflicted about who she was we almost lost her.

They are a happy and close family grateful that they can all be honest with each other. It's become even more important now that one of the parents has developed a life-limiting condition. The time is too precious to waste it on being selfish.

"

This was the same with my niece, she was self harming etc as she didn’t know her own identity.

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By *ykmwyldTV/TS
over a year ago

Belpre

It can be Very Very hard on some gay people to even accept their gay in their own mind, not to mention their thoughts about what everyone else that knows them will think or act once they come out. That kind of overwhelming stress on them can cause ALOT of problems in their life, even death. Society has gotten a bit more openminded over the decades, but not near enough unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A friend of mine came out as gay a fair few years ago to his parents. His mum was absolutely fine with it and very supportive as was his stepdad although he did struggle a little bit.

His Step Dad asked him how long he's known he was gay before came out. His reply was he'd known for ages but wanted to make sure he was completely comfortable with it before he said anything.

His step dad's reply was I still love you but like it took you some time to feel comfortable with it it's going to take me time too.

So maybe he could say something like that to her if that's how he feels.

I think he’s more upset that we all knew as we’d worked it out years ago but he hasn’t. He know feels he can’t have been close to her if he didn’t see it, he’s rather struggling. "

Oh I see yes I can see why he's struggling but that doesn't mean anything it just means it wasn't on his radar.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have two out gay neices. Their fathers just needed time.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Tell him not to be so silly.

I worked with a lesbian for a few years, such was more masculine than some blokes.

She got knocked off her feet by a very beautiful lady, they recently got married. Both of them wore wedding dresses, both got walked down the aisle.

They have had 2 beautiful children.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

I have a nephew who came out

We always suspected he was gay, since doing so he’s far more confident

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