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The New Europe

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government c onceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds like a plan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aw shood zat be sownz laik 'plan?

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you


"sounds like a plan. "
pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont panic Mr Mannering sir xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"aw shood zat be sownz laik 'plan?"

it vud be zo much eazier to undertand zeez call centre people too,as ve vud be speaking ze same language.

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

Funny lol

Was taking it serious for a second lol

Scarlett

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Funny lol

Was taking it serious for a second lol

Scarlett "

Ah, Bless ROFLMAO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"aw shood zat be sownz laik 'plan?

it vud be zo much eazier to undertand zeez call centre people too,as ve vud be speaking ze same language. "

langwich! tut

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/01/12 12:50:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont panic Mr Mannering sir xx"

Don't give 'em your name soapy...

;)

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