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Also the main mantra for here is it's not real so just accept some people are plain rude and move on.
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture." Have to agree with this. OP you sound like you have a lot of things to work through and Fab can be a bit of a brutal place x | |||
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"I don’t think it’s the profile, I’ve had many different ones. Most guys just read the pictures and not the written content. I find I’m very aware of what I’m saying lately and trying to give the best answer because I’m fearful of putting someone off. All this just makes me want to pull back into my turtle shell and not poke my head out for no one. " Your over thinking everything, find a common interest and the conversation will flow nicely and just enjoy yourself. Don't put pressure on yourself to say the right thing because what ever you say isn't the wrong thing to say if you want to say it. | |||
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"I don’t think it’s the profile, I’ve had many different ones. Most guys just read the pictures and not the written content. I find I’m very aware of what I’m saying lately and trying to give the best answer because I’m fearful of putting someone off. All this just makes me want to pull back into my turtle shell and not poke my head out for no one. " You're the only one who can judge if your replies are off putting or inconsiderate. Whatever the case, they should be truthful and not tailored for fear of offending. Maybe it's the delivery? The content may be correct but the way it's phrased offends? In any case, this doesn't seem the medium to meet the type of person you're looking for. Nasty and inconsiderate behaviour are all too common here and can have a multiplying negative effect on someone's confidence and self esteem. | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture." I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. | |||
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"The thing is though that even if you did find out what was the tipping point for this guy, that means nothing as everyone is different. There is no cover all "you did this wrong, fix it and you'll be great", answer. Also that thought process lays the blame at your feet, that may not be the case. To be honest it seems to me a little bit like you're coming to a crisis point, you seem to be getting more and more uptight about this over the recent weeks. I really do think that taking some time away from fab and getting some professional support for self esteem would be beneficial. " This. Fab can be incredibly unhealthy if you're not careful. | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. " I would.... but I'm not in your age range  | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. I would.... but I'm not in your age range "I'd strongly advise not seeking out those who want to save you. You can only save yourself. | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. " You’re very unlikely to find that here though lovely. Not impossible but very unlikely. | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " I think others have covered it really, focus on things in your control being a big one. Your profile definitely piqued our interest but maybe fab isn't the ideal place to find what you're looking for. Not saying it's impossible but definitely harder to find here I think. I doubt it's any vibe your giving off, there's a multitude of reasons why someone might not message back it's best to try not get too hung up on them. Either way best of luck OP | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. I would.... but I'm not in your age range
I'd strongly advise not seeking out those who want to save you.
You can only save yourself. "Or go on a similair journey with someone else. Support rather than saving. I agree you can only save yourself x | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. " I'd say you need to stop looking for someone to romantically "fix" you , see a therapist. Get your head in a good place before trying to find a man. Then you can just be you and the someone who appreciates you just as you are may just pop along. | |||
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"I’m on a regular dating site too so this isn’t just confined to fab guys. Worried that too many knock backs is going to push me completely the other way. I want to have elements of zero fucks given whilst still maintaining a softness to myself. I can feel it slipping away though. Once I’ve gone down that route I’m going to be a complete cunt but maybe that’s just what I have to do. " It really isn't, becoming something blunt and nasty in order to survive is the opposite of what is healthy in my opinion. I've given you my advice on several threads of yours and its been echoed by others too. Its always a question of what you want to do obviously but is fab so important that you can't step away for a while? | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. " But the trouble with that is it's not anyone else's job to fix you. | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " Take some time for you... | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " If you're continually having this issue then you're either a) Picking the wrong men. or b) There's something you don't understand yet. I think it's both, going off the threads I've read. I'm not going to waste anymore letters, because no doubt the same post will appear in a month or two. Good luck OP. I hope you figure it out. Self discovery isn't an easy path, but it's one best found out off your own back. Rather than given to you on a plate. | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? If you're continually having this issue then you're either a) Picking the wrong men. or b) There's something you don't understand yet. I think it's both, going off the threads I've read. I'm not going to waste anymore letters, because no doubt the same post will appear in a month or two. Good luck OP. I hope you figure it out. Self discovery isn't an easy path, but it's one best found out off your own back. Rather than given to you on a plate." Good answer | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? If you're continually having this issue then you're either a) Picking the wrong men. or b) There's something you don't understand yet. I think it's both, going off the threads I've read. I'm not going to waste anymore letters, because no doubt the same post will appear in a month or two. Good luck OP. I hope you figure it out. Self discovery isn't an easy path, but it's one best found out off your own back. Rather than given to you on a plate. Good answer" Thankyou Dash.. I doubt I'll get a reply, funny that. | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. But the trouble with that is it's not anyone else's job to fix you. " How they treat you can help though. | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " Was this aimed at me? (I wish) When this happens to me, I just think that if they're like this now, how bad woud it be in the future? Not worth the worry or the stress. You'll be ok OP x  | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. But the trouble with that is it's not anyone else's job to fix you. " I’m not looking for anyone to ‘fix’ me. I’m not broken, I don’t struggle with confidence either or self esteem issues. I know I’m attractive. I’m just not happy with my single status and I’m worried my need for finding a partner is giving off desperate vibes. I really really struggle to find guys that tick all the boxes and that I’m attracted to so when I do find one I do come on too strong. My worry is that my past bad experiences with guys is going to make me emotionally hard and that’s not what I want to be. | |||
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"I’m not looking for anyone to ‘fix’ me. I’m not broken, I don’t struggle with confidence either or self esteem issues. I know I’m attractive. I’m just not happy with my single status and I’m worried my need for finding a partner is giving off desperate vibes. I really really struggle to find guys that tick all the boxes and that I’m attracted to so when I do find one I do come on too strong. My worry is that my past bad experiences with guys is going to make me emotionally hard and that’s not what I want to be. " Describe your ideal life in 5 years time? | |||
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"I’m not looking for anyone to ‘fix’ me. I’m not broken, I don’t struggle with confidence either or self esteem issues. I know I’m attractive. I’m just not happy with my single status and I’m worried my need for finding a partner is giving off desperate vibes. I really really struggle to find guys that tick all the boxes and that I’m attracted to so when I do find one I do come on too strong. My worry is that my past bad experiences with guys is going to make me emotionally hard and that’s not what I want to be. Describe your ideal life in 5 years time?" All toxic people gone from my life, all outside issues dealt with and squared away. Go back to work in the prison, have a boyfriend, a nicer car and possibly another child! | |||
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"Keep asking yourself who are you? What really matters to you? What do you value? Just work on be more of who you really are. If you are authentic and genuinely yourself then it really doesn’t matter what others think or do as they have their own trips to go on. As Fritz Perls a famous psychologist once said “I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.” " I like that. | |||
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" Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " You say you have no confidence or self-esteem issues, but your OP contradicts that OP. As other people have said - you should not be trying to appear to be something you are not - that's what 'zero fucks given' means to me, not a hardness of heart, just a knowing that anyone who doesn't stick around for the real me is simply not who I'm looking for. | |||
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" Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? You say you have no confidence or self-esteem issues, but your OP contradicts that OP. As other people have said - you should not be trying to appear to be something you are not - that's what 'zero fucks given' means to me, not a hardness of heart, just a knowing that anyone who doesn't stick around for the real me is simply not who I'm looking for." I don’t think carrying around past hurt is a sign of lack of confidence or low self esteem. It’s much deeper than that. Low confidence or low self esteem is not being able to take a compliment or being afraid to voice your opinion or backing down from an argument or depression or lack of social skills, or comparing yourself to others and lots of other similar traits. Again zero fucks given can be interpreted in different ways, to me it means not over thinking things or over analysing things, or not caring if someone stops messaging you. | |||
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"Nearly a week without hitting the forums and it's groundhog Day again. I have no more advice to give. A" Don’t read my threads then. | |||
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"For what my opinion is worth.... This is not the ideal place to find the proverbial ‘forever’ needle in the haystack.... this place is the thread that holds the seams together whilst the fabric is fit for use and it unravels when it’s past its use.... it’s a temporary fix most users are entirely comfortable with and OP you are clearly not at all comfortable within this space. Good analogy " | |||
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"I’m not looking for anyone to ‘fix’ me. I’m not broken, I don’t struggle with confidence either or self esteem issues. I know I’m attractive. I’m just not happy with my single status and I’m worried my need for finding a partner is giving off desperate vibes. I really really struggle to find guys that tick all the boxes and that I’m attracted to so when I do find one I do come on too strong. My worry is that my past bad experiences with guys is going to make me emotionally hard and that’s not what I want to be. Describe your ideal life in 5 years time? All toxic people gone from my life, all outside issues dealt with and squared away. Go back to work in the prison, have a boyfriend, a nicer car and possibly another child! " How’s about ignoring the boyfriend bit for a while, (but still being approachable if it arsises), and start concentrating sorting those things you’ve mentioned one by one. Maybe if you get your life headed towards the place you want it then the relationship stuff might appear without chasing it. | |||
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"Have you ever considered or had NLP / CBT? I don’t think you’ll be able to “wipe the slate clean” and start over until you’ve dealt properly with what’s happened in the past. You need to understand what is affecting your perception of people and relationships." Now that’s a really good suggestion | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " Usually by removing my self from the situation. | |||
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"I’m on a regular dating site too so this isn’t just confined to fab guys. Worried that too many knock backs is going to push me completely the other way. I want to have elements of zero fucks given whilst still maintaining a softness to myself. I can feel it slipping away though. Once I’ve gone down that route I’m going to be a complete cunt but maybe that’s just what I have to do. " I really wouldn't draw too much distinction between here and dating sites. Both are about sex, this one just requires more imagination. Men are the same whichever they are on. | |||
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"I’m on a regular dating site too so this isn’t just confined to fab guys. Worried that too many knock backs is going to push me completely the other way. I want to have elements of zero fucks given whilst still maintaining a softness to myself. I can feel it slipping away though. Once I’ve gone down that route I’m going to be a complete cunt but maybe that’s just what I have to do. I really wouldn't draw too much distinction between here and dating sites. Both are about sex, this one just requires more imagination. Men are the same whichever they are on." He has a valid point. | |||
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"I’m on a regular dating site too so this isn’t just confined to fab guys. Worried that too many knock backs is going to push me completely the other way. I want to have elements of zero fucks given whilst still maintaining a softness to myself. I can feel it slipping away though. Once I’ve gone down that route I’m going to be a complete cunt but maybe that’s just what I have to do. I really wouldn't draw too much distinction between here and dating sites. Both are about sex, this one just requires more imagination. Men are the same whichever they are on." A lot of the ones I chatted to when I was on a regular dating site are on here anyway! They’re just more truthful about what they want on here xx | |||
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"I’m not looking for anyone to ‘fix’ me. I’m not broken, I don’t struggle with confidence either or self esteem issues. I know I’m attractive. I’m just not happy with my single status and I’m worried my need for finding a partner is giving off desperate vibes. I really really struggle to find guys that tick all the boxes and that I’m attracted to so when I do find one I do come on too strong. My worry is that my past bad experiences with guys is going to make me emotionally hard and that’s not what I want to be. Describe your ideal life in 5 years time? All toxic people gone from my life, all outside issues dealt with and squared away. Go back to work in the prison, have a boyfriend, a nicer car and possibly another child! How’s about ignoring the boyfriend bit for a while, (but still being approachable if it arsises), and start concentrating sorting those things you’ve mentioned one by one. Maybe if you get your life headed towards the place you want it then the relationship stuff might appear without chasing it." It’s a bit more complicated than starting to sort the things I’ve mentioned one by one but safe to say I’m on it. | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " A lot of the time on here its not that you "lost them" its just your one of many possibilities. So if theyre chatting to 5 people they may really like all 5 but they will end up talking to one or two more than the others and some will get dropped. People have limited attention spans, so its not always that you lost them just there was maybe an easier or more suited person | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " It’s not you it there are quite a few people on here that seem to have a bit of a blunt attitude both men and women. We all get it too promise it really used to get me too. But then you meet people on here along the way and click personal side personalities, sense of humour, Then you realise that you’re not the problem and leave them to it. | |||
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"Ok so I’m harvesting opinions again in the hope that some useful advice is amongst the replies. Yes the thread is about me because it’s myself that has this particular problem. Before I begin I know that nobody owes anyone anything but wouldn’t it just help a lot more if people just explained exactly what point you lost them. Examples being you’re conversing with someone and then contact just ceases, I’m not talking about busy lives and life getting in the way I’m talking blatant ignoring, like a message could be read days and days ago with much online activity of the other party and it’s absolutely clear that they’re no longer interested. Like I’m carrying around all the past hurts and shitty behaviour of previous guys and it’s ruining my soul. I’m obviously omitting something, too intense or hard work or whatever negative vibe I’m giving off. How do you overcome that and give yourself a clean slate? " You are the George Costanza of the forums.... | |||
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"Until you've come to terms with what's hurt you in the past and move on it's probably not a good idea to be actively looking anyway. Your unresolved issues will give you away through your interaction and scare off most people. Most men here have little patience for a broken wing and aren't looking for anyone that looks too volatile and too much hard work. Your numerous previous posts paint exactly this picture. I like the broken wing analogy! No they don’t want someone like that do they. But I can only do so much work on myself. Nobody is willing to go right I understand you’ve been fucked about or let down or had your emotions and feelings played with, let me restore your faith and stop you thinking that everyone is going to hurt you. But the trouble with that is it's not anyone else's job to fix you. I’m not looking for anyone to ‘fix’ me. I’m not broken, I don’t struggle with confidence either or self esteem issues. I know I’m attractive. I’m just not happy with my single status and I’m worried my need for finding a partner is giving off desperate vibes. I really really struggle to find guys that tick all the boxes and that I’m attracted to so when I do find one I do come on too strong. My worry is that my past bad experiences with guys is going to make me emotionally hard and that’s not what I want to be. " You say you're not broken, and yet almost all of your threads and comments suggest you are. Until you come to terms with the real you, you'll be forever trapped on this treadmill. As others have suggested, NLP could be a huge benefit. You seem to be doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Look in, not out. Good luck. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story." That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.  | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings. "Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they? Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye? | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
"You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no. "Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way. Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no.
Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way.
Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so."Quite. But what a painful thing to put yourself through after only two months. So wouldnt it be wiser to somehow learn how to control your emotions (emotions cant be controlled blah blah) so you aren't so capsized by an unrequited love. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no.
Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way.
Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so.
Quite. But what a painful thing to put yourself through after only two months. So wouldnt it be wiser to somehow learn how to control your emotions (emotions cant be controlled blah blah) so you aren't so capsized by an unrequited love. "I think I’m pretty emotionally competent, in fact I think it is one of my strengths. However I’ve known an unrequited infatuation to turn my world upside down in a matter of weeks. It completely blindsided me. I needed a long time to ensure it never happened to me again. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no.
Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way.
Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so.
Quite. But what a painful thing to put yourself through after only two months. So wouldnt it be wiser to somehow learn how to control your emotions (emotions cant be controlled blah blah) so you aren't so capsized by an unrequited love.
I think I’m pretty emotionally competent, in fact I think it is one of my strengths. However I’ve known an unrequited infatuation to turn my world upside down in a matter of weeks. It completely blindsided me. I needed a long time to ensure it never happened to me again."Survival mode! Most of us don’t know we have it until something like that happens in which case, for most of us it kicks in and we move on | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no.
Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way.
Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so.
Quite. But what a painful thing to put yourself through after only two months. So wouldnt it be wiser to somehow learn how to control your emotions (emotions cant be controlled blah blah) so you aren't so capsized by an unrequited love. "I suspect everyone on here controls their emotions most of the time,I know I do. Trust can be hard earned, and easily lost. Yet how often do we all see similar, if less open threads on here from others. Controlling emotions may not be as simple as just putting up self protecting barriers. If we do that then eventually we may lose the capacity to feel anything real. Walls can crumble with age and decay, or be knocked down in seconds. Whichever they are they then take time to rebuild. Unrequited love? If you accept love is something real and given freely then it has a value no matter how it's received. But if as with the poster above if its give then lost, then that loss is real to the individual no matter what others consider he should do. Nothing wrong with a little empathy now and then? | |||
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"I can get over it ... Just the problem is do I really want to try again? ... Ive never really had a relationship before and I just don't think I need one I've lived most my life without one ... I've tried several times and it all ends the same. I think it's mostly unreal expectations that women have that ruin it these days. ... Gotta be masculine or rich. Anything in between they're not interested." Come back to me when you have to be a perfect home maker with a good job, who has to be thin and fit but not be a pain with dieting or exercise, hair and makeup perfect without spending a fortune on products or cluttering the bathroom, completely hairless apart from scalp and eyebrows and eyelashes with no evidence that any ever grew, not too pale, not too tanned, independent and self assured but not a ball busting feminist, with lots of hobbies and interests but still needing your man, backwards, in high heels, while being laid back and not breaking a sweat. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no.
Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way.
Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so.
Quite. But what a painful thing to put yourself through after only two months. So wouldnt it be wiser to somehow learn how to control your emotions (emotions cant be controlled blah blah) so you aren't so capsized by an unrequited love.
I suspect everyone on here controls their emotions most of the time,I know I do. Trust can be hard earned, and easily lost. Yet how often do we all see similar, if less open threads on here from others. Controlling emotions may not be as simple as just putting up self protecting barriers. If we do that then eventually we may lose the capacity to feel anything real.
Walls can crumble with age and decay, or be knocked down in seconds. Whichever they are they then take time to rebuild.
Unrequited love? If you accept love is something real and given freely then it has a value no matter how it's received. But if as with the poster above if its give then lost, then that loss is real to the individual no matter what others consider he should do.
Nothing wrong with a little empathy now and then?"I am all for empathy. But why shouldn we learn resilience? Wasting months and years of a precious finite life essentially trapping ourselves as a victim. | |||
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"It happens to me all the time .. get talking to someone get along nicely, I'm genuine, honest and can hold a conversation I talk to people how I'd like to be talked to and engage with them about interests and stuff like that.... A few hours maybe a day or two and they just blatantly ignore me.. show no interest or just blocks me. A couple months ago I met the most amazing woman on another site and we ended up dating and seeing eachother for about 2 months ... I'd thought I'd found love thought she could be the one and she knew that .... I've never been so romantic for a woman like that before and she said herself no one has ever shown or done something so romantic to her ... Even got talking about kids..... Then one day after staying at Her house I go home .... She gives me the silent treatment ... I try to find out if she is ok and she just ignored me ... 3 weeks go by and I'm worried .. I try messaging her friends to find out if she's ok ... She messages me, saying she needed space and she wasn't happy I messaged her friend to find out... Then she blocked me from Facebook and she wasn't replying or looking at txts ... She then ended up moving to Manchester for a job and I never got to find out why I received the silent treatment or why it ended...... Then stress kicked in as I was on last few weeks on contract for work and couldn't find anything else just before Christmas.... I only had £12 through December ... Couldn't buy niece's any gifts... I just broke down and cried. Now I'm just moving on with my life, I don't want to participate in any relationship for the rest of my life, I'm past loving now ... Never had a single relationship in my life and I just don't need it... I don't want or should I say can't have kids ... I have a unique problem where I can last too long in bed up to 6+ hours found this out with the girl I was seeing ... And generally I'm past caring ... Seems like my world has just collapsed..... I'm on here to pass time... Please a few ladies .. even though I've had 0% chance of that ... No one is interested whatsoever pretty much my life story. That all sounds very intense for a two month relationship. Slow down a bit with your feelings.
Feelings dont come with a logical timeline, or do they?
Surely the thing about any emotional connection is that it can happen in an instant, reciprocated or not? Aren't people capable of changing their mind or feelings about things in the blink of an eye?
You shouldnt collapse a world over it I dont think no.
Not a world. His world. Loss and the associated grief that go with it are not defined by logic but by personal emotions. We all have them, they are unique to each person, and we all react in different ways to any given event. Everyone is different, and experiences their own lives in their own unique way.
Sometimes we all have to rebuild our own worlds. I rather hope the poster above finds his way to do so.
Quite. But what a painful thing to put yourself through after only two months. So wouldnt it be wiser to somehow learn how to control your emotions (emotions cant be controlled blah blah) so you aren't so capsized by an unrequited love.
I suspect everyone on here controls their emotions most of the time,I know I do. Trust can be hard earned, and easily lost. Yet how often do we all see similar, if less open threads on here from others. Controlling emotions may not be as simple as just putting up self protecting barriers. If we do that then eventually we may lose the capacity to feel anything real.
Walls can crumble with age and decay, or be knocked down in seconds. Whichever they are they then take time to rebuild.
Unrequited love? If you accept love is something real and given freely then it has a value no matter how it's received. But if as with the poster above if its give then lost, then that loss is real to the individual no matter what others consider he should do.
Nothing wrong with a little empathy now and then?
I am all for empathy. But why shouldn we learn resilience? Wasting months and years of a precious finite life essentially trapping ourselves as a victim. "Relisience is just getting on with life as it is, whatever anyones personal circumstances. Life still goes on. How do we ever know we have wasted months or years of our life until after the event? And is it really a waste if we live in the moments as they occur? Victim? How is anyone a victim unless that's what they feel themselves to be? Life happens, good things and bad things. Sadness loss hurt and all those other similar emotions are not about being a "victim" unless that's how you perceive them. | |||
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