FabSwingers.com forum: Has anyone breakdown before

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the AA came out within one hour for our breakdown

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share..."
sorry to here that what was it like for you ? what where the signs ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luckily no, and I have had some sh1t thrown at me.

Something up there is looking after me I am sure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

I do think the guy was serious and it wont be any joke to him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yes about 5 years ago... quite a dark time but today I look back a richer person for it happening.

Life is what YOU make it.

good luck for the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

yes, for reasons to do with my childhood, glad you are coming through the other side,

As _iew says it can make you a much stronger person, it has me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

[Removed by poster at 21/01/12 21:15:49]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

sorry to hear that mate,,hope you are gettin there now,,have had a couple of melt downs in past,,you do get back to better than your old self,,you just need to be positive inside yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did when my dog died she was 17,and i couldnt stop crying, then i got another dog and i was ok. Still havnt forgotten about my other dog though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i have and people new about it and did nothing... 18mouthns cring like a baby and other downs. what do you think of the people who did nothing... one if my brother

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the feeling. A lot of people dont understand. Family members just think your a pain in the arse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in 1993 I had a particularly bad time at work.

My home life has always been good, but I was pushing myself too hard at work and looking back, I thought I was better than I was.

I came through it though, mainly by prioritising things differently and changing my attitude to my working life.

I realised that my family was more important than my job so started to live my life for us, and not for my employers.

It's been nearly 20yrs since my "dark period" but in one way I'm glad I lived it, because it's made me realise what real life is all about.

Just fight it mate, keep your chin up and just keep ploughing forward

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watched both my mum and sister have breakdown. My sister had one when her husband went to Iraq. My mother broke down big time a year after her dad died. It took 2 years for my mum to get back to where she was before. It broke my heart watching that happen to them... Seemed like nothing we could do would help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seen my brother go through a break down, he didn't live through it. I know if he had stuck it out, things would have been good for him. Having been though that I've learnt to just deal with whatever life throws at me, I know that isn't an option for me so I will not allow myself wallow on things, even the harshest of things that have happened to me. When you go through alot it makes you realise when things are good too... the sunny is sunnier. Sometimes people take the good for granted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stwoforfun2Couple
over a year ago

South Suffolk Area

"Back in 1993 I had a particularly bad time at work.

My home life has always been good, but I was pushing myself too hard at work and looking back, I thought I was better than I was.

I came through it though, mainly by prioritising things differently and changing my attitude to my working life.

I realised that my family was more important than my job so started to live my life for us, and not for my employers.

It's been nearly 20yrs since my "dark period" but in one way I'm glad I lived it, because it's made me realise what real life is all about.

Just fight it mate, keep your chin up and just keep ploughing forward

Mrs agrees +1

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exybabyMan
over a year ago

Canterbury....ish

"i have and people new about it and did nothing... 18mouthns cring like a baby and other downs. what do you think of the people who did nothing... one if my brother"

Unfortunately those that are closest to you, in your hour of need, are quite often the last to notice.

However, they quickly gather when pound signs are in evidence.

Life is both tough and cruel but also brilliant when times are good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share..."

Something like that m8. I was assaulted n went to pieces. Lost job etc.

Try to look for the good things even one a day will help. Ask for help, don't be alone, no mater how much you want to.

Good luck dude.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

been there,hopefully i came out the other side a stronger person,you will too,ask for help if you need it and dont be alone,a lot of us out there

the very best of luck, hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share..."

I don't believe in breakdowns.

I believe some people get to a point where their _iew of the world and reality get out of kilter. That dissonance is profoundly disabling, but I think calling it a breakdown is unhelpful. Not least because people equate it with getting the AA out to fix their alternator.

I also think there are moments of reactive depression, when the black dog comes calling, that make normal life impossible. They aren't breakdowns, either.

My favourite therapist once said, to me, that, given my circumstances atthe time, she'd be more inclined to call a psychiatrist if I wasn't depressed than if I was.

You wouldn't call that a breakdown.

Your relationship goes to shit and you feel pissed off? That's not a breakdown. That's how people are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share...

I don't believe in breakdowns.

I also think there are moments of reactive depression, when the black dog comes calling, that make normal life impossible. They aren't breakdowns, either.

My favourite therapist once said, to me, that, given my circumstances atthe time, she'd be more inclined to call a psychiatrist if I wasn't depressed than if I was.

You wouldn't call that a breakdown.

Your relationship goes to shit and you feel pissed off? That's not a breakdown. That's how people are."

Many people think of the brain to work mechanically, made up of different parts each with its own importance and function.

I think it is valid to call it a breakdown when your mentality reaches a point where it can no longer function efficiently.

Sarah x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

i suffer from clinical depression,nothing i can do when it comes on,so i suppose technically it isnt a breakdown,but it is a breakdown of normal life,because if it gets bad i cant function,luckily i havent had an episode for a few years now,but its lurking in the background all the time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share...

I don't believe in breakdowns.

I also think there are moments of reactive depression, when the black dog comes calling, that make normal life impossible. They aren't breakdowns, either.

My favourite therapist once said, to me, that, given my circumstances atthe time, she'd be more inclined to call a psychiatrist if I wasn't depressed than if I was.

You wouldn't call that a breakdown.

Your relationship goes to shit and you feel pissed off? That's not a breakdown. That's how people are."

i have to disagree, you can reach the point of being unable to function, the AA analogy does work, you cannot get anywhere,even moving is too much effort.you have broken down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is not fair, however, it is what one makes of it.

Just because one has been wronged by others, it does not mean one has to dwell on the past and be bitter about it.

Don't let the buggers get you down as the saying goes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share..."

yeah, my 47 yr old husband left me for his 25 yr old secretary, what a shite! 4 yrs ago, i've only just got over it really, realised what a knob he is finally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my twenties I came very close because I couldnt handle my sexuality

Tried topping myself a few times too

Then one day completely out of the blue I thought wtf I'm bi so what and I told a few people

Ya know what? It worked and I have never looked back xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was widowed, I can get emotional at times especially when I am by myself, but apart from that there has been nothing I can think of in the way of having a breakdown. Having the suppot of family, friends and work colleagues is obviously a big help.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did 5 years ago,

I used to feel this malevolent something in the room with me, I thought it represented the end of me... On the really bad days, it would whisper in my ear, the smallest of doubts then sit back and just watch me fall apart. It was truely frightening.

I was really lucky that my doctor took me seriously, I think partly due to my dad having been ill twice in the past. I got a lot of help, it was hard going but I'm all better now,

I've had some crappy stuff going off in the last couple of years and am amazed that I'm still smiling, things don't stress or phase me like they used to.

Life's good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I got to a point a few years ago where I hit basically "rock bottom" and thought about some very very dark things.....

...and it took a lot of people helping me along the way to get me back to where i am now....

every day for me is a day further in the recovery.... life throws you some curveballs, and set backs and things that could sent me backwards...

I am in a much better place where I can deal with them in ways that I would never have been able to before.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like threads like this, cos when this stuff happens to ya, it's like you're the only person in the world who understands it... and there is this fear of being thought of as a complete loony at times!

It's really important to know that life can do this to anyone at anytime, and that there's no shame to it, and most importantly, help is out there if you ask for it.

.... I'll go away now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

i think evryone hits rock bottoms

at some stage, its how you deal with it. yes the tabelts helped but in the short term

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have suffered with depression on two occasions, both times pretty bad and I would say it is a form of breakdown. It is caused by a chemical inballance in the brain. Therefore it is a slight malfunction.

Both times some people got round me, and others didn't because they didn't know how to, not because they didn't care.

I have also seen my brother in law take his life after 15 years of depression. He never thought he would beat it.

There are some great charities out there that can help and support in the tough times. They will help you step back and take a look at things and move forward step by step.

The main thing I found was accept it's happening before being able to move on.

I feel for you all that had suffered, and I guess its good to know It's not a tabboo subject anymore.

Love to you all and keep believing. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people in their life will suffer from depression of some form, tho i think now days docs are to willing to hand out anti depressives, my daughter went ot the docs a few weeks back for something totally un depression related and she just mentioned she had fallen out with her boyfriend and he gave her a prescription for fluoxetine and there wasnt even anything wrong with her in that way

Tho i got post natal depression with my youngest ive been ok other wise, i dont really let things bother me or let things build up, and ive been tho some shit in my life but im one of these people who think you cant changed what happened so no point letting it get to you, some people are just more able to cope than others and i think theres no shame in asking for help.....tho there still seems to be a stigma on this subject and a lot think its something you dont talk about or admit to, but i think keeping things to yourself can make things worse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I guess different people cope with stressful situations in different ways and they may react differently to the same situation at a different time, I was told that.

' falling down is part of life, getting up is living.' ,

I'm sure there are many people that will offer you a hand up.. don't be afraid to ask ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

There was a point in 2009 where I felt the world was crashing in on me, By August of that year I had been to four funerals, including my mothers and my aunts and broken up from an LTR. As I was kind of reeling from all that, my best friend at the time, who was also potential future girlfriend material, but it just wasn't the right time to embark on that, collapsed with a bleed on her brain - I rushed to the hospital to see her and we talked for about four hours, the whole thing was completely surreal, she was surrounded by blip machines, and this was a scene I had seen in a dozen movies and soaps on telly all the time, yet here I actually was, going through it for real. She was going in for the OP the next day, when I left I got as far as the busstop, but something made me go back into the hospital, wake her up and I just looked at her and said 'I love you, and I I've always loved you since we met, and when you get out of here next week we kind of need to talk about that..' The op the next day was un-sucessful and she went into a coma and died three days later. When I heard I just ran into the garden and screamed and spiritually I could just feel my whole body imploding on itself, then the weirdest thing happened. It was late and I was in a chat room talking to some strangers about it at maybe 3am and one of them PVT me and told me of an island in Greece where they were presently at and they said I should go there - In the room I had been talking about getting away for a week possibly on a boat down the Rhine. He recommended this family run hotel, I contacted them, went to Thomas Cook the day after that and was on a plane to Greece, having never been there before in my life the day after that. It wasn't an easy week, but I saw alot of amazing sunsets, ate some nice food, drank some good wine, cried a fair bit when I was on my own, but came back feeling ten times stronger than when I left. Which was just as well because my uncle then died the following week, and my father the following year. I really don't know how I got through those two years at all, at one point it seemed like I was going to a funeral every three months, and I lost my whole family in a very short time as well as one of my best friends in the world, but somehow I got through it and feel like I could handle whatever life throws at me now - Met someone else, got on with our book, kept as busy as possible. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but its also so important to remember every day is a gift and whenever I felt sorry for myself I just reminded myself that the people who went before me didn't have another day and I should just get on with it. I totally sympathise with anyone who has ever felt like its all just crashing down because I surprised myself at how I coped, but I had several good friends to see me through, including some on here. When you come out the otherside you will be a stronger and I think someone said richer person (probably not financially but spiritually for sure)

apologies this was a bit long.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad had a stroke 5 years ago mum and me look after him comes here 2 or more day a week... But i cant help thinking my mums heading for one ,,, she keeps telling me things over and over again and she is cleaning her home doing garden like theres no tomorrow everything has to be done today and when she cant get so mad and hit the drink ... If i say somthing she just get so nasty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess different people cope with stressful situations in different ways and they may react differently to the same situation at a different time, I was told that.

' falling down is part of life, getting up is living.' ,

I'm sure there are many people that will offer you a hand up.. don't be afraid to ask ..

"
What a fantastic quote, never heard that before

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness!

Sometimes you have just got to look back at your past and be proud of how far you have gotten.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share...

I don't believe in breakdowns.

I also think there are moments of reactive depression, when the black dog comes calling, that make normal life impossible. They aren't breakdowns, either.

My favourite therapist once said, to me, that, given my circumstances atthe time, she'd be more inclined to call a psychiatrist if I wasn't depressed than if I was.

You wouldn't call that a breakdown.

Your relationship goes to shit and you feel pissed off? That's not a breakdown. That's how people are."

sounds a little subjective to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ush girlWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I've a really good friend Of mine who met a lass on here - they got engaged & all that crap. They split up & shes back on here pulling no punches with field reports. So called distracting herself

He's gutted. I know he's thinking really bad thoughts & I'm worried for his life but what can we do apart from be there?

He's really really nice & doesn't deserve what's happening but I feel guilty as I left a field report for him & now she kicked off even more!

Love hurts!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Life is not fair, however, it is what one makes of it.

Just because one has been wronged by others, it does not mean one has to dwell on the past and be bitter about it.

Don't let the buggers get you down as the saying goes.

but if you find it difficult to cope you really should speak to your GP.

I chatted about feeling down to my GP and the advice was good. No tablets, .... lose a bit of weight, take more excercise and join in some groups like rambling or other hobbies and classes. It worked. I think I was getting too insular. I took dancing, yoga and art classes and re-discovered my long lost love of painting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tipped my ex-hubby over the edge when I left him. Although he is better than he was, he still has good and bad days.

His family has a history of mental illness, his mother and all his siblings suffered from it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I see you mention a breakdown in your original post. I had a friend go through one of these, it was awful and brought on from "over ambition". She tried to be best mum, most beautiful wife, best housewife and building entrepreneur. The breakdown stopped her in her tracks and over a long long period with the help of her family and friends she has re-discovered her old self and turned her life around.

I think I had a narrow escape. I quit my ex (drinking problem) as I was at my wits end after years and years of emotional and turning towards physical abuse. I was a mere shadow when I returned to the UK and, I don't know, maybe it was a breakdown, but took it slowly gradually rebuilding my life. I am content these days, apart from a "neighbour from hell", but these days I can actually deal with that pro-actively.

I wish you love, care and great people around you in your journey to find yourself again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *waymanMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"Hi had one one sort of of my and a girl plit up.... i had a breakdown for 18months... come share...

I don't believe in breakdowns.

I also think there are moments of reactive depression, when the black dog comes calling, that make normal life impossible. They aren't breakdowns, either.

My favourite therapist once said, to me, that, given my circumstances atthe time, she'd be more inclined to call a psychiatrist if I wasn't depressed than if I was.

You wouldn't call that a breakdown.

Your relationship goes to shit and you feel pissed off? That's not a breakdown. That's how people are.

i have to disagree, you can reach the point of being unable to function, the AA analogy does work, you cannot get anywhere,even moving is too much effort.you have broken down.

I agree, it's profoundly disabling. I just hate the terminology of a 'breakdown'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

13 years ago on Valentine's Day, gave birth to stillborn boy (also lost another 3 boys by miscarriage). Still hurts to this day and always will.

Had a total meltdown but can now look back and say there is a god given reason why my boys are not with me.

Good luck to the OP. You WILL come through it xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

i hope everyone who has shared their thoughts and problems with yoou has helped you to understand your not alone in how you feel,look for help its out there

xxxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread