FabSwingers.com forum: How successful are men?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey guys

I’d love to hear how successful you single guys are on here with meeting a couple or single woman. What did you do to get your meets. Was it hard work that eventually paid off or just patience?

Happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

attended socials, not being pushy or vulgar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have done ok with women

Because im good at magic tricks

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Be polite..

be respectful.

Be patient...

be lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have done ok with women

Because im good at magic tricks"

And drinking “Danish Martinis”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have done ok with women

Because im good at magic tricks

And drinking “Danish Martinis”"
also helps thats part of the trick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just being down to earth, positive and confident is a great start OP. Oh and not being a twatt helps

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't look at it in terms of being "successful" which makes it sound like I've won a prize, more in terms of does the site meet my expectations - the answer to that being it has surpassed them.

I like to think that has happened because I've got the right attitude and approach to the site, have a reasonably good profile and set of pictures. I don't start conversations with a view to meeting, more with a view to getting to know that person, seeing if there's a connection and chemistry there and only then will I even think about suggesting meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I(Harold) have met my soul mate on here. She's just waiting for me to pop the question haha.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I(Harold) have met my soul mate on here. She's just waiting for me to pop the question haha. "

Congrats

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't look at it in terms of being "successful" which makes it sound like I've won a prize, more in terms of does the site meet my expectations - the answer to that being it has surpassed them.

Good advice which I’m already doing. I’m finding it hard to get the responses which I know can be hard.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Can i ask, when men say they struggle on here - is it the getting a reply to an initial message or the sustaining a conversation long enough to get to meeting point that is the issue?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can i ask, when men say they struggle on here - is it the getting a reply to an initial message or the sustaining a conversation long enough to get to meeting point that is the issue?

For me it’s both. I appreciate the competition is hard for the men on here. I struggle to get replies and when I do the chat soon drops off.

I was very fortunate to get a meet but nothing happened as i wasn’t her type despite a prolonged chatting and was turning each other on.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't look at it in terms of being "successful" which makes it sound like I've won a prize, more in terms of does the site meet my expectations - the answer to that being it has surpassed them.

Good advice which I’m already doing. I’m finding it hard to get the responses which I know can be hard. "

There is no magic formula that works for all - the usual advice I'd give if you're finding it hard on here is take a look at things like profile, pictures, message style, approach etc and see if there's anything that could be changed for the better.

For some guys on here attending clubs or group socials works better than the cold messaging thing, for some (me included) getting involved in the forums and getting to know people (and them you) that way works. Is all a case of finding what works best for you.

For what it's worth, I don't think it's your profile that's the issue, it's well written and has just the right mix of who you are, what you're looking for and a dash of humour.

You also have to keep in mind that there are a huge number of men compared to women and couples here and you therefore have to stand out somehow, and that can take time to establish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had one meet in 3 years. You decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many ways men are successful in life.

Be a backstabbing lying greedy manipulating twatt, Or be confident get in with things and be friendly and welcoming to the changes around you with people you network with.

These are just 2 ways I could be the CEO of a multi million pound business. But I choose to be happy and stress free too.

Enjoy fab, and don’t be the first one.

* just my opinion , it means nothing

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Fighting them off with a big stick here. I can’t understand why you are finding it so hard.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't look at it in terms of being "successful" which makes it sound like I've won a prize, more in terms of does the site meet my expectations - the answer to that being it has surpassed them.

Good advice which I’m already doing. I’m finding it hard to get the responses which I know can be hard.

For what it's worth, I don't think it's your profile that's the issue, it's well written and has just the right mix of who you are, what you're looking for and a dash of humour.

You also have to keep in mind that there are a huge number of men compared to women and couples here and you therefore have to stand out somehow, and that can take time to establish

Thanks. Sadly I can’t attend socials. And I do go on the forums to project my personality.

My messages are warm and friendly and I try to show the fa tv I have looked at their profile.

Maybe I need to put more pics up in my profile.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I think that success is relative, it's about what your expectations are. If you join and expect to be meeting people every weekend then you're liable to be disappointed. However if you keep an open mind and just look to get to know people then you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I think it's about managing your expectations and being open to possibilities. Doing the things that Gemini Man said won't send you far wrong either.

In response to the OP, I've far exceeded my wildest expectations on here; I've met some fantastic people, made friends and found love, I only joined for chat with like minded folks!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Thanks. Sadly I can’t attend socials. And I do go on the forums to project my personality.

My messages are warm and friendly and I try to show the fa tv I have looked at their profile.

Maybe I need to put more pics up in my profile. "

Out of interest why can't you attend the group socials? They're a great way of getting to know people and sparking conversations on here in a pressure free environment. The ones I have attended have been friendly and welcoming too.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

I've not been here that long and I've had a few women exchange the odd message but the problem I'm finding is having a reply to the initial first message. I'm not a copy and paste man I take the time to read a profile and see if there's a common interest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks. Sadly I can’t attend socials. And I do go on the forums to project my personality.

My messages are warm and friendly and I try to show the fa tv I have looked at their profile.

Maybe I need to put more pics up in my profile.

I’m married and only get a few opportunities to play.

My expectations aren’t high but I was just curious to know how other single men get on here.

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By *ax_uk_2009Man
over a year ago

Wilmslow

"Hey guys

I’d love to hear how successful you single guys are on here with meeting a couple or single woman. What did you do to get your meets. Was it hard work that eventually paid off or just patience?

Happy fabbing"

Recently coffee socials and hopefully more but not yet.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

I do alright

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By *ross-eyed MaryMan
over a year ago

Salisbury

Drop your standards for a while, meet some of the less desirable women, this will give you a good few verifications. And also show that "its not all about looks"

if you're lucky, you might then get meets from more attractive women with fragile egos who get jealous because you've been mixing with mooses. However, others may be turned off because it might look like you'll fuck anything with a pulse!! It's a minefield!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks. Sadly I can’t attend socials. And I do go on the forums to project my personality.

My messages are warm and friendly and I try to show the fa tv I have looked at their profile.

Maybe I need to put more pics up in my profile.

I’m married and only get a few opportunities to play.

My expectations aren’t high but I was just curious to know how other single men get on here. "

That could be part of your issue with getting meets then, well in fact quite a huge issue.

You class yourself in the single guy bracket but you aren't single.

You lack opportunity to play by your own admission.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m quite successful by being me. I write nice messages, except turn downs with dignity, chat on the forums, attend socials and meets (reliably) and always stay positive.

I probably need to have another look at my profile at some point though.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable. "

Dont take it personally. For me taking the time to find the right person through chatting and social meets is very important and worth the time.

If all this finally leads to an enjoyable meet, then surely you should feel you’ve been ‘successful’ in meeting the right person.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Some of the comments are sounding a little....don't know the right word to use. For me I see women that spark an interest and I'd like to start a conversation with them to see if we gr8 along, yes I check pictures and what they put in their profile but as for lowering standards to get verified I'd sooner have no verifications but that's just me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

""Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable.

Dont take it personally. For me taking the time to find the right person through chatting and social meets is very important and worth the time.

If all this finally leads to an enjoyable meet, then surely you should feel you’ve been ‘successful’ in meeting the right person. "

I don't. Well, I know some people think in those terms and I avoid them like the plague. I'm not any hole as a goal, etc.

I suppose it's just... The way these things come across matters, you know?

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

There's maybe a dozen or so people that wouldn't cross to the other side of the road if they saw me coming

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By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

I find reading a woman's profile helps

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My message to meet rate is probably 200/1 or less, for the flip side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable.

Dont take it personally. For me taking the time to find the right person through chatting and social meets is very important and worth the time.

If all this finally leads to an enjoyable meet, then surely you should feel you’ve been ‘successful’ in meeting the right person.

I don't. Well, I know some people think in those terms and I avoid them like the plague. I'm not any hole as a goal, etc.

I suppose it's just... The way these things come across matters, you know? "

“Any holes as a goal” you make the process sound so lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My message to meet rate is probably 200/1 or less, for the flip side. "

Would you say the one meet was a success?

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

""Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable. "

I don't think that's necessarily the case, I think in my case at least.

I think it's a turn of phrase connected to achieving your aims, if you have no expectations or you are looking to attend socials and make friends then success is not a negative and impersonal thing.

However I'd say that it's a case of what connotations you attach to the word, context and who is using it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"My message to meet rate is probably 200/1 or less, for the flip side.

Would you say the one meet was a success? "

Sometimes, sometimes not, but I don't talk about them like they're a commodity.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

""Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable.

Dont take it personally. For me taking the time to find the right person through chatting and social meets is very important and worth the time.

If all this finally leads to an enjoyable meet, then surely you should feel you’ve been ‘successful’ in meeting the right person.

I don't. Well, I know some people think in those terms and I avoid them like the plague. I'm not any hole as a goal, etc.

I suppose it's just... The way these things come across matters, you know?

“Any holes as a goal” you make the process sound so lovely.

Sometimes I do feel like some men are looking for a wet* hole with a pulse*

*optional

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

""Success" does make it sound like we're a prize to be won, as noted, which is pretty uncomfortable.

I don't think that's necessarily the case, I think in my case at least.

I think it's a turn of phrase connected to achieving your aims, if you have no expectations or you are looking to attend socials and make friends then success is not a negative and impersonal thing.

However I'd say that it's a case of what connotations you attach to the word, context and who is using it. "

Oh no, I don't think this is universal. But there's a strong undercurrent of "a woman is a goal, an object to be acquired" among some men on Fab. It's disturbing and off putting. I'm merely pointing out the potential connotation (which is increased by finding myself in this context, because on Fab it happens) and how it might read.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Be polite..

be respectful.

Be patient...

be lucky

Spot on! All of the above needed in spades. We're ten a penny and need to be able to accept being ignored, unread, deleted, occasionally disrespected and rarely abused, BUT If you can accept its rarely personal you should occasionally be someone's cup of tea. As the chap quoted says you also need all of the above in quite large quantities. If you can stay classy an opportunity will come up occasionally - it has for me and as a result I now count some fantastic people as friends. Not going to deny I've felt down, frustrated and occasionally quite hurt, but persistence pays off IF you can remain a gentleman in the process. Good luck!

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"There's maybe a dozen or so people that wouldn't cross to the other side of the road if they saw me coming

Probably a fair average and a very good way to put it!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Jack does ok meeting separately and also had some good meets before he met me

Think having a decent profile,being easy going,friendly and enjoying socials helps him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv been unbelievably succesful at finding what i never knew i wanted a very welcome surprise

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I have one or two meets from here, we chatted and met, we got on well.

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By *anana JoeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Hey guys

I’d love to hear how successful you single guys are on here with meeting a couple or single woman. What did you do to get your meets. Was it hard work that eventually paid off or just patience?

Happy fabbing"

Its all down to communication and getting to know people and not pressurising them. As they say its good to talk.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I’m quite successful by being me. I write nice messages, except turn downs with dignity, chat on the forums, attend socials and meets (reliably) and always stay positive.

I probably need to have another look at my profile at some point though. "

Exactly the way to go for most of us - this definitely sifts the 'good guys' based on the comments of the women I know on Fab, (assuming there's physical attraction in the first place). Fortunately for those of us who make this approach habitual and stay classy in doing so a lot of guys seem to ignore all and any positive advice given, though that can be unnecessarily unpleasant for the women who receive what seems to be an all too regular disrespectful approach, particularly if you're the kind of guy who doesn't take rejection well.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Thanks. Sadly I can’t attend socials. And I do go on the forums to project my personality.

My messages are warm and friendly and I try to show the fa tv I have looked at their profile.

Maybe I need to put more pics up in my profile.

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can i ask, when men say they struggle on here - is it the getting a reply to an initial message or the sustaining a conversation long enough to get to meeting point that is the issue?

For me it's both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been very lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be polite and respectful never be pushy. Attend the club's and social events. I have meets planned most weekends when I don't have my children.

I've met some wonderful people on the swinging scene and now it's my social life.I don't take myself too seriously. Most of all have fun and enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Be polite..

be respectful.

Be patient...

be lucky

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not here to get "meets".

People are precious, not just a "meet".

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By *rinthiaMan
over a year ago

dundee

"Can i ask, when men say they struggle on here - is it the getting a reply to an initial message or the sustaining a conversation long enough to get to meeting point that is the issue?

im still waiting on a woman making first

contact email

99% of my emails get no answer.

i have 3~4 women im chatting to who i know will never meet, but its good crack.

im looking for a reasonably local meet but have exausted all single women and couples in my area.

im not pushy , dont ask for sex just dont get any replys

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Not once had a woman message me first, although I have had one or two winks following me fabbing their photos. I've always sent a few more face photos with an individual friendly and respectful message, but not a single one has then replied - in fact the message usually goes unread at all.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"My message to meet rate is probably 200/1 or less, for the flip side. "

That’s interesting!

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

"Be polite..

be respectful.

Be patient...

be lucky

All of this. Single guys are the proverbial haystack here.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Be polite..

be respectful.

Be patient...

be lucky

All of this. Single guys are the proverbial haystack here."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do ok considering I still haven’t written a profile

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By *ensualgent38Man
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

"Be polite..

be respectful.

Be patient...

be lucky

All of this. Single guys are the proverbial haystack here.

??"

Like needle in a haystack. LOTS of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey guys

I’d love to hear how successful you single guys are on here with meeting a couple or single woman. What did you do to get your meets. Was it hard work that eventually paid off or just patience?

Happy fabbing"

I just flipped my hair about a bit and they came to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trick is be yourself women see thru fake bullshit be happy when happy sad when sad hulk smash on occasion and you will be plowing thru an army of flange in no time

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It's all about expectations, when people join some expect to be 'knee deep' within hours. That's certainly not the case. If anyone reading this has that assumption then I'd recommend that they disavail themselves of that idea now.

Success isn't about meeting or chatting, you can't quantify it by anything other than being the best 'you' that you can be.

Forget your expectations or demands, put in the effort and go from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not easy being green....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have done ok when I was on here years ago on an old profile. I'm not looking for anything right now due to health issues.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I have a few friends that I see (some frequently others less often) so I send out fewer messages than I used to but it can be frustrating at times when you see a profile of a person you think looks ideal and you do your best to put together a message that you hope will hit the spot, only for it to go unread or deleted. But you just have to keep going.

As others have said, be polite and respectful and remember no one owes you anything. Sometimes you strike out other times you make a friend, and if you're really lucky it's a friend with benefits.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

I'm just me..

If people like me and we click that's good.

I mostly talk nonsense on the forums and attend the odd do.

Other than that, not sure - I don't rate myself particularly highly

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"I'm just me..

If people like me and we click that's good.

I mostly talk nonsense on the forums and attend the odd do.

Other than that, not sure - I don't rate myself particularly highly "

I must be a string to someone bow, just need to find my bow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't start with an expectation if meeting anyone. I just enjoy chatting and getting to know someone first.

If it leads to anything then great. I certainly don't see it as a competition or 'prizes' to be won. Nor do I feel that I need to jump through anyone's hoops. I have choices too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can i ask, when men say they struggle on here - is it the getting a reply to an initial message or the sustaining a conversation long enough to get to meeting point that is the issue?

I get a lot of men saying nobody will reply to a message let alone meet them, and i think to myself they must just be saying that, as the local updates with verifications going up shows that local women are meeting! Tbh I hardly send messages these days if I do I’m always polite and patient....I was with my fb today who i meet of this site and the amount of guys that was messaging her was crazy she hasn’t even got a profile pic up or public photos just friends only.....all that I can say is try and be original with your message make it stand out.....but the forums are good place to start chatting to women and befriending them and you’ll soon have some good results

For me it’s both. I appreciate the competition is hard for the men on here. I struggle to get replies and when I do the chat soon drops off.

I was very fortunate to get a meet but nothing happened as i wasn’t her type despite a prolonged chatting and was turning each other on. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm just me..

If people like me and we click that's good.

I mostly talk nonsense on the forums and attend the odd do.

Other than that, not sure - I don't rate myself particularly highly "

That's how I see it .. Exactly what you just said .. No expectations and just enjoy the company I'm with at the time .. Happy Fabbing

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