FabSwingers.com forum: Pretty and dumb

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Ive seen it mentioned and implied a few times today (and in general) that if a person is good looking or fit then by association then theyre dull or dumb, or the opposite association; if someone is larger or is less concerned with their appearance then they're going to be nicer and a kind person.

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

I think that’s bollocks to be honest.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Personally I think these sweeping generalisations are indicative of lazy thinking and are often used by people with low self esteem or a giant chip on their shoulder.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"I think that’s bollocks to be honest. "

Couldn't have put it better myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I’m attractive, but I’m not dumb!

Far from it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a larger girl with a pretty face, above average intelligence and a bit of a bitch so I'm not sure those generalisations work for everyone

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

We all know it’s total bollocks!

Sweeping generalisations seem to make people feel better though!

I’ve really no idea why!

I doubt very attractive and intelligent people with wonderful personalities who are living precisely the life they want to live worry much about these generalisations though!

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By *elaxedsexyfunMan
over a year ago

Northants

My ex Mrs is a school head teacher so you would assume that she is reasonably intelligent.

We had a romantic weekend in London and were walking along the river Thames when she suddenly asked'who on earth needs a house as big as that'?

She was looking at the houses of parliament!!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

No. But it's always really disappointing when any person turns out to be a bit dumb/not a geek. Hotness doesn't mean they get away with it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it's based on the idea some have that our talents have to balance out. Unfortunately it just isn't true.

The fittest people I know are incredibly clever: working out how to train effectively etc is actually somewhat intellectually taxing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I think these sweeping generalisations are indicative of lazy thinking and are often used by people with low self esteem or a giant chip on their shoulder.

I'd probably add to that about the larger people/less groomed thing that people sometimes feel the need to justify their attraction to anything out of "the norm".

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

The logic of Fab.

Good looking man up their own arse.

Good looking woman shit in bed won’t try.

Gym goer = boring

BBW fun and amazing in bed

Rich people = evil

Etc etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/02/19 11:16:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive seen it mentioned and implied a few times today (and in general) that if a person is good looking or fit then by association then theyre dull or dumb, or the opposite association; if someone is larger or is less concerned with their appearance then they're going to be nicer and a kind person.

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks"

I used to. Now? Not at all.

I thought all attractive people were shallow and up their own arse. I don't think this is the case either. Think I was a bit of a prat for thinking so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two degrees, uses long words, can hold an intelligible conversation on most subjects.

I Confuzzle people with my wit, sarcasm and knowledge.

And I'm veh pretty!

And not i'm that fat! Chubby, but not fat.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Personally I think these sweeping generalisations are indicative of lazy thinking and are often used by people with low self esteem or a giant chip on their shoulder.

I do agree with you, I often find that they're used as a reference by people who want to demonstrate their virtue or put people down. Also by people who want to demonstrate that they're different because they're not like the pretty and dumb people.

Personally I think that binary thinking or pigeon holing people says far more about the person thinking it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I do the job I do because of the increased knowledge.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Personally I think these sweeping generalisations are indicative of lazy thinking and are often used by people with low self esteem or a giant chip on their shoulder.

I'd probably add to that about the larger people/less groomed thing that people sometimes feel the need to justify their attraction to anything out of "the norm". "

I think a lot of what people say and do is about justifying themselves. There's also the insulting one group to curry favour with the other. Don't even get me started on this "real" men and women rubbish that's often spouted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just like blinking

It’s my favouritest.

Wait... What was the question?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Personally I think these sweeping generalisations are indicative of lazy thinking and are often used by people with low self esteem or a giant chip on their shoulder.

Personally I think that binary thinking or pigeon holing people says far more about the person thinking it. "

Yes!

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

ZNope I dont agree, I try to visualise it in my head as a Venn diagram. Also just because someone is academically intelligent or climes Snowden every weekend, does not make them interesting or street smart for want of a better word.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I also have a bit of a makeup thing. Yes, it can be a sign of frippery etc. But for me it's art, slipping behind various Dionysian masks, knowing how colours play with my features and each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the size or looks of someone does not have any realm impact on how they are as a person.

I agree that society tends to try and label people due to their looks.

I.e a gym fit guy is in love with himself. Now there are some guys like that but alot of then are not.

Same as far men. I am fat so I am supposed to be jolly but alot of the time I am grumpy lol.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"ZNope I dont agree, I try to visualise it in my head as a Venn diagram. Also just because someone is academically intelligent or climes Snowden every weekend, does not make them interesting or street smart for want of a better word.

But it doesn't mean they're uninteresting or not street smart either.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

But it doesn't mean they're uninteresting or not street smart either."

Yes of courses, they maybe they may not be. No two people are exactly alike.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

You see it often on here and yet for me it's a stereotype that I thought had been left behind in the 70s which is where it was made, with suggestions of things like blonde dollybirds who were attractive but didn't have two brain cells to rub together.

As has been said already I think it's often rolled out by some on here to justify a lack of "success" when someone who can't get meets is looking for something to blame for their "failure", when they'd actually be better off looking closer to home for the reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m attractive and intelligent. And I’m not being big headed when I say it.

Gem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m attractive and intelligent. And I’m not being big headed when I say it.

Gem. "

*Subjectively *

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm told I'm attractive. I seem to be intelligent. While I don't look it (yet), I'm actually fairly physically fit.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

But it doesn't mean they're uninteresting or not street smart either."

Exactly, a person is unique. Without getting to know them you know nothing about them for good or ill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m attractive and intelligent. And I’m not being big headed when I say it.

Gem.

*Subjectively *"

Ah you got me. Perhaps I’m not so intelligent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really starts with what we deem as intelligence.

Alot of the time we mistake book smart with someone being intelligent

In 1983 an American developmental psychologist Howard Gardener described 9 types of intelligence.

Naturalist (nature smart)

Musical (sound smart)

Logical-mathematical (number/reasoning smart)

Existential (life smart)

Interpersonal (people smart)

Bodily-kinesthetic (body smart)

Linguistic (word smart)

Intra-personal (self smart)

Spatial (picture smart)

Then add into the mix emotional intelligent it's not as simply as we think.

I also think there is a difference when you look at if someone is interesting to talk to and them being intelligent as we all have things we love to share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m attractive and intelligent. And I’m not being big headed when I say it.

Gem.

*Subjectively *

Ah you got me. Perhaps I’m not so intelligent

Attractive, intelligent and a good sense of humour, you’ve cracked it!

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By *onygirlieWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I’m sure these stereotypes exist but there are also people who are lucky enough to be beautiful and intelligent, or sadly thick and unattractive. This is life’s rich tapestry we can’t and definitely shouldn’t be the same, or find the same thing attractive.

For me there has to be an attraction physically but they don’t have to be an Adonis. An intelligent and interesting guy is a big turn on as they tend to be the best lovers, the most inventive and imaginative. The brain is the best sex aid in my opinion. I like to think I have a good balance I’m no supermodel but attractive and intelligent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m attractive and intelligent. And I’m not being big headed when I say it.

Gem.

*Subjectively *

Ah you got me. Perhaps I’m not so intelligent

Attractive, intelligent and a good sense of humour, you’ve cracked it!

Phew! I think haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like most stereotypes it's utter bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a purely personal point of view I know the majority of people look at me and think the same thing. Both in the real world and on fab. And I really couldn’t care-a-less.

Generalisation just don’t work as a concept. They’re simply too general

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure these stereotypes exist but there are also people who are lucky enough to be beautiful and intelligent, or sadly thick and unattractive. This is life’s rich tapestry we can’t and definitely shouldn’t be the same, or find the same thing attractive.

Love this!

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks"
I blow this theory out of the water.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Ridic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would describe myself as sapiosexual, so for me I'd rather have the intelligent conversation than the Adonis looks. If I can find both, well that's just the icing on the cake!

Also, being academic doesn't mean that you necessarily have emotional intelligence or common sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty dumb. So I've got all the bases covered.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"Ridic."

Think hes on the Pitch Black thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The consensus is (not set in stone) Attractive, Intelligent, Nice. You can only have 2.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The consensus is (not set in stone) Attractive, Intelligent, Nice. You can only have 2."

Thats absolute rubbish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks

I blow this theory out of the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But it doesn't mean they're uninteresting or not street smart either.

Yes of courses, they maybe they may not be.

***

No two people are exactly alike.

*** "

***

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks"

Nah..... I'm fat and look like a bulldog chewing a wasp and I'm a right grumpy bitch

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks"

I think that this is a notion to make the less attractive feel better about themselves .

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

It only really applies to the media.

The media are fond of bigger women comedians, ones who will make fun of themselves and their weight so we can laugh at them.

But the media is rampant with this stuff, average height of a black american is 5'9 but in general they put on tall big ones. They put on short asians, and in general, most white men they put on, fall in the "average" selection. Even the best looking white men in the media are the attractive end of average, not stupidly handsome men.

The media makes the prettier girls dumber because they need a reason for her to have sex with mr average over here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I concur with this lady, she said it so much more eloquently than I would have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the only stereotype that has an element of truth to it is the crazy/hotness combination.

Some of the hottest women I know are the craziest, why, because super good looking guys go for these women but can get women all over the place so they mess these women around and bring out their hidden crazy.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Phew..luckily there is no stereotyping in this thread...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Ridic.

Think hes on the Pitch Black thread

Watching chronicles of.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"Ridic.

Think hes on the Pitch Black thread

Watching chronicles of. "

Narnia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the only stereotype that has an element of truth to it is the crazy/hotness combination.

I find crazy has no corrolation to any other attribute

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester

I like turtles!

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester

It's like when people message you to say they are gym fit, discrete, heavy cummers and you automatically think they are t**ts..... And probably right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never subscribed to the intelligence versus looks thing. Both are very subjective anyway.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Well I think that I'm pretty intelligent, pretty nice, and pretty pretty

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"It's like when people message you to say they are gym fit, discrete, heavy cummers and you automatically think they are t**ts..... And probably right "

I've never had that message

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"The consensus is (not set in stone) Attractive, Intelligent, Nice. You can only have 2."

Haha and which two are you?

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

This has got me thinking now about one life experience , has anyone ever experienced someone changing completely their personality and not in a good way, through losing alot of weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

really surely not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very well said and I couldn’t agree more

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Phew..luckily there is no stereotyping in this thread...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Do you agree with this concept, is it a theory that you prescribe to?

Do you maybe have experience of this, or do you think that binary options like this are limited at best?

Let's have your thoughts folks"

I've never understood that either, I think it's something (some) fat and ugly people say to make themselves feel better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The consensus is (not set in stone) Attractive, Intelligent, Nice. You can only have 2.

Haha and which two are you?"

According to my Ex attractive and intelligent, which would suggest I'm not particularly nice and I'd have to agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d never say I was attractive- I’m not that confident about myself.

However on paper I’m intelligent, but I know I lack quite a bit common sense. I wouldn’t dare repeat some of the things I’ve said! Haha.

It’s absolutely individual & subjective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope! It's complete bollocks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Based on Fabs alone, some of the prettiest women I’ve seen have been extremely clever.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I was in an archaeology lecture once and a discussion took place about what our positions would have been in a bronze age society. I was wondering aloud what I would have done and the female teacher said "you would have laid around and looked pretty" or words to that effect

. I was the only woman pupil and incidentally the highest achieving as far as marks were concerned. These stereotypes and generalisations are entrenched

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look dumber than i am but not sure im pretty

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't find much, if any, correlation between these aspects of people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/02/19 23:51:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I'm dumb some times clever sometimes can be dull when I want to be, not slim but not big but I am pretty.....but I think you generalisation of this is diabolical as people are who they are,whether a person is catorgarized as small,medium or large. If this makes no sense it's because I've had a little drink or two haha. Oppppsssiiii .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that the 'dumb' could definitely teach something I can't do.

I don't see intelligence as something that has to be a certain way otherwise we are all fucking dumb in someway.

Because the ones who keeps claiming that they are intelligent would look totally dumb in situations they are not used it.

For instance, the ones who can't help themselves to use fancy words on the forums...to show off how intelligent they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that the 'dumb' could definitely teach something I can't do.

I don't see intelligence as something that has to be a certain way otherwise we are all fucking dumb in someway.

Because the ones who keeps claiming that they are intelligent would look totally dumb in situations they are not used it.

For instance, the ones who can't help themselves to use fancy words on the forums...to show off how intelligent they are. "

Like people who describe themselves as 'Sapiosexual' or 'Sapiophile'. I usually think, 'next profile please', as my first thought of them is, 'pretentious wanker'.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think that the 'dumb' could definitely teach something I can't do.

I don't see intelligence as something that has to be a certain way otherwise we are all fucking dumb in someway.

Because the ones who keeps claiming that they are intelligent would look totally dumb in situations they are not used it.

For instance, the ones who can't help themselves to use fancy words on the forums...to show off how intelligent they are. "

Is having a wide and varied vocabularly perceived as showing off?

I admire it, I think it's good to use as much of language as possible.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think that the 'dumb' could definitely teach something I can't do.

I don't see intelligence as something that has to be a certain way otherwise we are all fucking dumb in someway.

Because the ones who keeps claiming that they are intelligent would look totally dumb in situations they are not used it.

For instance, the ones who can't help themselves to use fancy words on the forums...to show off how intelligent they are.

Like people who describe themselves as 'Sapiosexual' or 'Sapiophile'. I usually think, 'next profile please', as my first thought of them is, 'pretentious wanker'."

Do you attach your negative perception to the person who admires intelligence or the intelligent person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m thick, minging and horrible- so you can have it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that the 'dumb' could definitely teach something I can't do.

I don't see intelligence as something that has to be a certain way otherwise we are all fucking dumb in someway.

Because the ones who keeps claiming that they are intelligent would look totally dumb in situations they are not used it.

For instance, the ones who can't help themselves to use fancy words on the forums...to show off how intelligent they are.

Like people who describe themselves as 'Sapiosexual' or 'Sapiophile'. I usually think, 'next profile please', as my first thought of them is, 'pretentious wanker'.

Do you attach your negative perception to the person who admires intelligence or the intelligent person? "

Not to the intelligent person. The alleged 'Sapiophile'. Usually what they're really looking for is someone who can hold their own in conversation. As others have said perceived intelligence is subjective.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

"I was wondering aloud what I would have done and the female teacher said "you would have laid around and looked pretty" or words to that effect

. "

Pretty much the one thing you 100% wouldn't have been doing. No one back then got a free pass.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think that the 'dumb' could definitely teach something I can't do.

I don't see intelligence as something that has to be a certain way otherwise we are all fucking dumb in someway.

Because the ones who keeps claiming that they are intelligent would look totally dumb in situations they are not used it.

For instance, the ones who can't help themselves to use fancy words on the forums...to show off how intelligent they are.

Like people who describe themselves as 'Sapiosexual' or 'Sapiophile'. I usually think, 'next profile please', as my first thought of them is, 'pretentious wanker'.

Do you attach your negative perception to the person who admires intelligence or the intelligent person?

Oh, ok.

I like someone to be of a similar or slightly higher level of intelligence and to be quick witted.

I agree intelligence can be subjective but it's undeniable that some people have greater intelligence than others. Mind you I've worked with graduates who don't know their alphabet

. My brother who is hugely intelligent, bi lingual and articulate in many areas struggles to tell the time on an analogue clock.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I was wondering aloud what I would have done and the female teacher said "you would have laid around and looked pretty" or words to that effect

Pretty much the one thing you 100% wouldn't have been doing. No one back then got a free pass."

Exactly but it illustrates the entrenched attitudes some educated/intelligent people hold. Because I am well presented and groomed she assumed I would be useless and possibly shallow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m thick, minging and horrible- so you can have it all

I think you're great.

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