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By *lsie OP   Woman
over a year ago

where ever

Hi . Am I over thinking this ?

I have a meet tonight .

I was going to drive there have a pint and then go on .

But this guy I am meeting does not want me to do . He says I won't enjoy . I won't be able to have a drink .

It is only a social nothing more

Am I over thinking this . Does he want me to get d*unk .... Does he want me to get d*unk so something can happen ?

Or am I being stupid .

I feel uneasy . Never felt this way before a meet . I get nervous yes. But not uneasy or feel a little sick with it .

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By *hyevernotMan
over a year ago

Here and there

If it doesn't feel right don't do it. It's up to you what you want to do. Don't feel pressured.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 08/02/19 14:45:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If he tries to remove any of that comfort then think long and hard about whether it is worth meeting him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi . Am I over thinking this ?

I have a meet tonight .

I was going to drive there have a pint and then go on .

But this guy I am meeting does not want me to do . He says I won't enjoy . I won't be able to have a drink .

It is only a social nothing more

Am I over thinking this . Does he want me to get d*unk .... Does he want me to get d*unk so something can happen ?

Or am I being stupid .

I feel uneasy . Never felt this way before a meet . I get nervous yes. But not uneasy or feel a little sick with it . "

Personally I’d say always trust your instincts. If it feels wrong then don’t do it!

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Don’t let him tell you what you want to do

Do what you want and as said if it doesn’t feel right walk away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're feeling uneasy call the whole thing off...

Trust me you'll be glad you're dead because this does not sound right.. "

Glad she's dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you feel uneasy don't meet. Listen to gut feeling xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always go with your gut. If you feel uneasy, cancel. You may well be overthinking, but you should never go into a first social meet with an uneasy feeling. If that were me, I'd cancel . Good luck in whatever you decide OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Always go with your gut. If you feel uneasy, cancel. You may well be overthinking, but you should never go into a first social meet with an uneasy feeling. If that were me, I'd cancel . Good luck in whatever you decide OP "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I agree if you feel uneasy with someone before you've even met then that's not a good sign.

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By *lsie OP   Woman
over a year ago

where ever

I meant to say that carbonated drink you can buy . No go on . Why would it not out the name of the fizzy drink ?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

If I felt any sort of negative vibe from a guy that would be it, end of conversation. If you feel he's being pushy now and you've not even met, I'd cancel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I meant to say that carbonated drink you can buy . No go on . Why would it not out the name of the fizzy drink ? "

Because it can also mean another thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I meant to say that carbonated drink you can buy . No go on . Why would it not out the name of the fizzy drink ?

Because it can also mean another thing "

Rola cola!

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By *lsie OP   Woman
over a year ago

where ever

I have messaged him . Told him I feel uneasy bout meet . And I am cancelling .

Thanks guys .

I didn't want to be labeled timewaster.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't think it's for him to decide what you need to drink to enjoy yourself - I never drink alcohol when I meet anyone, and if anyone overly encouraged me to do so in the way this guy appears to be, then I'd have my doubts about their intentions too.

There is of course a difference between a throwaway comment along the lines of "if you don't drive you could have a drink" and being overly pushy about it and without knowing the exact context it's difficult to know where this falls, but as others have said, if you have your doubts Elsie then back away, or at the very least be insistent about doing what you want to safeguard yourself.

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By *oejulienCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

Over thinking when arranging to meet a total stranger is always a good thing.

I think its called being careful.

Writing as guy I'd never make demands like this of anyone.

He sounds like a bloke to avoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have messaged him . Told him I feel uneasy bout meet . And I am cancelling .

Thanks guys .

I didn't want to be labeled timewaster.

"

You won't be. You cancelled. A timewaster is someone who doesn't show up

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

Do not throw caution to the wind. Safety first.

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By *r loveslickinMan
over a year ago

Deeside

Sounds dodgy - only do what you’re comfortable with - as you say it’s a social - not a full on nightout/ date

If you do go ahead make sure it’s in a very public place x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I don't think it's for him to decide what you need to drink to enjoy yourself - I never drink alcohol when I meet anyone, and if anyone overly encouraged me to do so in the way this guy appears to be, then I'd have my doubts about their intentions too.

There is of course a difference between a throwaway comment along the lines of "if you don't drive you could have a drink" and being overly pushy about it and without knowing the exact context it's difficult to know where this falls, but as others have said, if you have your doubts Elsie then back away, or at the very least be insistent about doing what you want to safeguard yourself."

I couldn't have put it better myself. Meeting people for the first time can be a fraught time for both people and I think most right minded people would be making pains for you to be comfortable and to put you at ease.

In this instance it sounds, from what you've written, a little like he's tried to wrangle something more from the meeting. If it made you uncomfortable then you've done the right thing, socials are there for a reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure I understand correctly. Sounds like he doesnt want you to have a drink?

Might be covering his back, as he would rather you were entirely sober and consenting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleased to hear you e cancelled OP. I definitely would not go if I felt uneasy.x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"I have messaged him . Told him I feel uneasy bout meet . And I am cancelling .

Thanks guys .

I didn't want to be labeled timewaster.

"

I think you made the right choice.

Always go with your gut, particularly when it comes to safety.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Youve done the right thing I think.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Not sure I understand correctly. Sounds like he doesnt want you to have a drink?

Might be covering his back, as he would rather you were entirely sober and consenting? "

He wanted her to drink more, not less. Ie don't bring car and so have more to drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have messaged him . Told him I feel uneasy bout meet . And I am cancelling .

Thanks guys .

I didn't want to be labeled timewaster.

"

Oh does that mean you’re free tonight now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi . Am I over thinking this ?

I have a meet tonight .

I was going to drive there have a pint and then go on .

But this guy I am meeting does not want me to do . He says I won't enjoy . I won't be able to have a drink .

It is only a social nothing more

Am I over thinking this . Does he want me to get d*unk .... Does he want me to get d*unk so something can happen ?

Or am I being stupid .

I feel uneasy . Never felt this way before a meet . I get nervous yes. But not uneasy or feel a little sick with it . "

If it doesn't feel right to you then it probably isnt in my opinion it sounds iffy and id stay away i could be wrong but my gut says no way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have messaged him . Told him I feel uneasy bout meet . And I am cancelling .

Thanks guys .

I didn't want to be labeled timewaster.

You won't be. You cancelled. A timewaster is someone who doesn't show up "

Not according to all the threads about single guys cancelling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure I understand correctly. Sounds like he doesnt want you to have a drink?

Might be covering his back, as he would rather you were entirely sober and consenting?

He wanted her to drink more, not less. Ie don't bring car and so have more to drink."

Ah I see, I thought it was dont drink at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi . Am I over thinking this ?

I have a meet tonight .

I was going to drive there have a pint and then go on .

But this guy I am meeting does not want me to do . He says I won't enjoy . I won't be able to have a drink .

It is only a social nothing more

Am I over thinking this . Does he want me to get d*unk .... Does he want me to get d*unk so something can happen ?

Or am I being stupid .

I feel uneasy . Never felt this way before a meet . I get nervous yes. But not uneasy or feel a little sick with it . "

Go with your gut instinct. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I meant to say that carbonated drink you can buy . No go on . Why would it not out the name of the fizzy drink ?

Because it can also mean another thing "

What... Coke?

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