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Somerset chainsaw massacre

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was doing some woodland maintenance for a sprightly lady who must have been well into her seventies.

She came down to see how i was getting on and said that she'd never seen one of these working before (referring to my chopper). I jokingly asked her if she wanted a go and with a big beaming smile she said "yes please".

I started it up, gave her a few pointers and handed it to her.

Away she went having a grand old time of it on some logs i'd cut down earlier, to the point where i ended up having to prise it away from her.

A breathless thank you and off she strolled. Another satisfied customer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd find it therapeutic if I'm honest. Good on her and good on you for giving her the opportunity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 2 chainsaws. One battery and one electric. Scare me witless, but exhilarating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She can use my leaf blower any day.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I have 2 chainsaws. One battery and one electric. Scare me witless, but exhilarating "

That's a bit extreme isn't it? -what were you stuck for a substitute when your rabbit gave up the ghost or something?

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"She can use my leaf blower any day."

That's probably the most underwhelming innuendo I've ever encountered (given the nature of the other equipment on offer).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have 2 chainsaws. One battery and one electric. Scare me witless, but exhilarating

That's a bit extreme isn't it? -what were you stuck for a substitute when your rabbit gave up the ghost or something?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think I'd find it therapeutic if I'm honest. Good on her and good on you for giving her the opportunity "

It's the most dangerous piece of equipment i own but i was careful in my instruction and kept a close eye on her.

I've always believed life's for living not merely existing and who knows if she would have had the opportunity again.

Besides, it'll give her something to enthrall her friends with over a G+T.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have one of those electric chainsaws on an extendable pole. The havoc I can wreak with that is impressive..

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I have one of those electric chainsaws on an extendable pole. The havoc I can wreak with that is impressive.. "

Does that mean you don't even need to leave the telly to go upstairs then?

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford


"I think I'd find it therapeutic if I'm honest. Good on her and good on you for giving her the opportunity

It's the most dangerous piece of equipment i own but i was careful in my instruction and kept a close eye on her.

I've always believed life's for living not merely existing and who knows if she would have had the opportunity again.

Besides, it'll give her something to enthrall her friends with over a G+T. "

I own a few other dangerous equipment and im sorry to say that I wouldnt have handed that thing over to anyone.

Chainsaws are so unforgiving that when testing someone with them my hands are going to be on that machine.

Sorry if this sounds too pc but one mistake and you loose your job never mind the fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think I'd find it therapeutic if I'm honest. Good on her and good on you for giving her the opportunity

It's the most dangerous piece of equipment i own but i was careful in my instruction and kept a close eye on her.

I've always believed life's for living not merely existing and who knows if she would have had the opportunity again.

Besides, it'll give her something to enthrall her friends with over a G+T.

I own a few other dangerous equipment and im sorry to say that I wouldnt have handed that thing over to anyone.

Chainsaws are so unforgiving that when testing someone with them my hands are going to be on that machine.

Sorry if this sounds too pc but one mistake and you loose your job never mind the fine."

Like i said, life's for living not merely existing.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

A neighbour wouldn't loan me his chainsaw before because said I didn't have safety certificate, but for a small fee he could come around and cut the stuff for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A neighbour wouldn't loan me his chainsaw before because said I didn't have safety certificate, but for a small fee he could come around and cut the stuff for me."

That's not very neighbourly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse "

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy. "

Thats ok -you can just straddle it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

Thats ok -you can just straddle it"

No ta, they stink of petrol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I’ll try offering my customers the same chances.

‘Have you ever plastered a ceiling before? No...here, I’ll mix you a bucket,,,,,,”.

I do love women who muck in and not scared to break a nail doing a job normally associated with a men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I’ll try offering my customers the same chances.

‘Have you ever plastered a ceiling before? No...here, I’ll mix you a bucket,,,,,,”.

I do love women who muck in and not scared to break a nail doing a job normally associated with a men. "

Aw come on, a ceiling isn't exactly a good choice for beginners

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

Thats ok -you can just straddle it

No ta, they stink of petrol "

You know that's an aphrodisiacfor some on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

Thats ok -you can just straddle it

No ta, they stink of petrol

You know that's an aphrodisiacfor some on here"

Yeah, just noticed on the other favourite smells thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

Thats ok -you can just straddle it

No ta, they stink of petrol

You know that's an aphrodisiacfor some on here

Yeah, just noticed on the other favourite smells thread "

I know a lot of women who like the smell of Creosote - weirdos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

Thats ok -you can just straddle it

No ta, they stink of petrol

You know that's an aphrodisiacfor some on here

Yeah, just noticed on the other favourite smells thread

I know a lot of women who like the smell of Creosote - weirdos. "

Jeepers, creosote is nostril wrenchingly vile.

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London


"I love my petrol chainsaw; When I’m holding her, I feel ready and confident for any ensuing zombie apocalypse

Petrol ones are damned heavy.

Thats ok -you can just straddle it

No ta, they stink of petrol

You know that's an aphrodisiacfor some on here

Yeah, just noticed on the other favourite smells thread "

Apply it liberally and stay the hell away from wax play and you can't go wrong then

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan


"I think I’ll try offering my customers the same chances.

‘Have you ever plastered a ceiling before? No...here, I’ll mix you a bucket,,,,,,”.

I do love women who muck in and not scared to break a nail doing a job normally associated with a men. "

Then you have to stand close behind them, arms reached around to guide them how to hold and use the trowel and handboard. I ended up with a girlfriend doing that, was like that scene in ghost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id love a naughty lady to handle my chopper

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