FabSwingers.com forum: Paranoid head on, need opinions please.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’ll give you an example, I currently have close to unread 500 messages, also have a list of guys on kik and my WhatsApp who do nothing for me (not counting my friends from here). Like I essentially have a pool of 500 guys I could meet who want to meet me but the one who gets my attention is always the one that ain’t arsed.

Like I can chat and then it stops with no reason. Are they putting me on the back burner or the reserve lists whilst they pursue other avenues then get back to me at a later date when nothing better comes up?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?"

I wonder that too. Maybe women will be too honest. Are you after honesty OP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?"

Cos their brains are wired differently to ours, maybe they sense things women can’t. It’s men that I’m having the problem with so other men’s opinions would be more beneficial. But women can say as well, I’ll take any constructive criticism.

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

Definate Psycho. I would avoid at all costs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mixed signals?

One day you're not looking to meet anyone here, the next you're looking. Maybe they're waiting for you to make up your mind definitively?

Without knowing the content of your correspondence with the chaps, it's a bit hard to know why you think you're repelling them. Only they can answer that for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure they're just not that attracted to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Definate Psycho. I would avoid at all costs

You have to give reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

Personally? After seeing your post over the years and the same issue recurring. I dont think it's them. I think it's you. You are instictvely drawn to that type of guy. It seems like you want love, but deep down feel you don't deserve it. Only you can work on that. No advice on the forums or opinions from men is going to change that. If it we're, you would happily be in a relationship by now. It to me, is a form of self sabotage. I could be wrong, but that would be my take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You admit to having 500 contacts but wonder why some men are putting you on the ‘back burner’......

Perhaps because you are putting them on the back burner too? That many contacts would imply you just like the attention??

Dont shout, you did ask??

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

500 messages from people I am not interested in would be worthless. One message from some one special would over ride all those. No point in being popular with people you aren't interested in.

As for how you come across, it depends. If you give off a full on vibe in real life, yes you will have men running in the opposite direction, including those you like.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

You come across as you could potentially be hard work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

Were*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You might have a good body and look nice but you might have a shit personality and it could be that they don't like and come across up yer own arse !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK so not man and just my opinion but when you seem to be into someone you come across very in to them from your forum posts. You seem to worry about every thing they say and do, so probably comes across needy to the men of your affection. Where as those other guys want you because they can't have you if that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you’re coming across as needy or full on. It’s easy to want to fuck someone with no emotion just because they find you attractive. Those 500 or so men may want to fuck you, but would they want anything more?

Obviously I don’t know you and I’m just going by your forum posts which I’ve read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sound like to much like hard work and I couldn’t be arsed with the hassle if I’m honest.

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

People often seek out a challenge, often without realising it. Possibly because they associate things that are harder to attain as being more valuable. The 500 guys throwing themselves at you are easy, this other guy who's giving the mixed signals is a challenge for you. It's a pretty common scenario, it's also why there is the old advice about 'playing hard to get'.

Why he is, like he is, I couldn't say. He may be playing hard to get, he may not be that interested in you, he may just be too distracted by other things in his life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"500 messages from people I am not interested in would be worthless. One message from some one special would over ride all those. No point in being popular with people you aren't interested in.

As for how you come across, it depends. If you give off a full on vibe in real life, yes you will have men running in the opposite direction, including those you like."

I agree

I get messages all the time from folk I wouldn’t like to fuck. They don’t know me, they’ve just seen a few photos of me online.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You admit to having 500 contacts but wonder why some men are putting you on the ‘back burner’......

Perhaps because you are putting them on the back burner too? That many contacts would imply you just like the attention??

Dont shout, you did ask??"

No, the ones that have my interest have my full attention. But like I could go months and months not speaking to anyone, I haven’t shagged anyone for over a year. But when I find one I like I put them off right at the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the forum posts I've read you come across as needy and too much like hard work.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Long story short and you did ask OP, but my take is:

1. You're obviously physically hot, so you'll have blokes queuing up to fuck you.

2. You come across as rather volatile (your stories about being violent with people for example) and so men will be wary relationship wise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard work is all I see.Without being offensive .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

Yeah it’s definitly me, under no illusions there. Hmmm I keep myself to myself usually, like people approach me and now and again I’ll fancy one and want to pursue that but it’s like I know how hard it is for me to find someone that ticks all the boxes that when one pops up I put them off.

It’s just easier not to speak to people at all. Think that’s the only way.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I don't think you are psycho - you can be intense, you obviously feel things very deeply, and you can be volatile. In terms of a sex site that may mean you are perceived as high maintenance - most men here just want sex without any complications or emotional ramifications, rightly or wrongly.

I also believe that you struggle sometimes to perceive how the things you say come across, so that something you intend and perceive as 'just being honest' may come across as 'insufferable arrogance' to other people when it actually isn't. I wonder if this might affect other areas of your communication too.

HTH

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You look great, you are hard work, they want to fuck you without the hard work.

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By *umboyyMan
over a year ago

dublin, kildare

"From the forum posts I've read you come across as needy and too much like hard work."

Insecure therefore always seeking attention.

Not sure if you the one who i notice create new profiles over and over again (also from wales) and always post this kind of me me me posts. Maybe different person. Cba.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

It’s just easier not to speak to people at all. Think that’s the only way. "

That just sounds like you now feel sorry for yourself and want an ego boost.

I think your ego seems very fragile. Which is often the way with people that are very attractive, you are so caught up in being judged for your looks that your personality takes a back seat. Maybe work on liking yourself a bit more? But not in an arrogant way, more a self assured kind of way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

Hmmm, so I’m fucked then, or not as the case may be.

I’m actually quite mellow.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

It’s just easier not to speak to people at all. Think that’s the only way.

That just sounds like you now feel sorry for yourself and want an ego boost.

I think there's something in that.

It seems the OP can get men swarming round her because they want sex, but that they don't seem to want her for more than sex.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

Hmmm, so I’m fucked then, or not as the case may be.

I’m actually quite mellow.

You don't come across as mellow on here

You'll see that men replying are all unanimous about how they see you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

Hmmm, so I’m fucked then, or not as the case may be.

I’m actually quite mellow.

The banging tits and the rim jobs would make it easier though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

It’s just easier not to speak to people at all. Think that’s the only way.

That just sounds like you now feel sorry for yourself and want an ego boost.

I think there's something in that.

It seems the OP can get men swarming round her because they want sex, but that they don't seem to want her for more than sex. "

But I don’t give them the sex, that’s the point. I say from the start that I don’t want a hookup. Yeah kind of answered my own question there haven’t I. Maybe they just want a fuck and when they realise I’m not in the market for casual sex they move on to one who is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know you so my opinion don’t count but I don’t think your psycho just popular and nice you have chatted to people and lost contact

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

It’s just easier not to speak to people at all. Think that’s the only way.

That just sounds like you now feel sorry for yourself and want an ego boost.

I think there's something in that.

It seems the OP can get men swarming round her because they want sex, but that they don't seem to want her for more than sex. "

There will always be

Women men want to marry

Women men want to date

Women men want to fuck.

The problem arises when the woman is in the 'wrong' category to the one she thinks she should be in/wants to be in for a particular man.

* this also can apply to men.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

It’s just easier not to speak to people at all. Think that’s the only way.

That just sounds like you now feel sorry for yourself and want an ego boost.

I think there's something in that.

It seems the OP can get men swarming round her because they want sex, but that they don't seem to want her for more than sex.

Exactly.

Wouldn't you better on a dating site rather than a swinging site?

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

"You come across as you could potentially be hard work.

That’s because she is a female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have sky high walls that you're waiting for men to climb over to get to the real you. You enjoy being desired but don't enjoy men that aren't a challenge so you've probably overlooked the guys that would actually make you happy.

Your defences come across as gameplaying which will put the serious guys off. If you worked on friendship before desire you may find a different result.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quote you better on a dating site rather than a swinging site?

Yer people come on here just to see how many cyber friends they can get must make them feel good seeing all their fake friends and think its facebook !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another thing I’ve noticed, all your threads are about you, which suggests you are totally self absorbed. Needy and self absorbed are a turn off, regardless of what sex you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know you enough to really comment on what you are like in a one to one interaction.

Based on the forum you do come across as hard work, as others have said, and not very approachable to be honest.

Maybe that is you with a guard up or just the way this place has made you be.

Thing is when guys are putting you on the back burner, your personality (be it good or bad) does nothing for them. You are able to pick and choose based on looks and personality (whatever your preference) but when these guys are essentially doing similar it is a problem?

They may be one of the rare ones that you are interested in, does not mean that they will have a mutual feeling.

As for what you can do, Unless you want to change who you are there is nothing you can do about it other than allow yourself to be interested in others or wait it out for that one that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

Hmmm, so I’m fucked then, or not as the case may be.

I’m actually quite mellow.

The banging tits and the rim jobs would make it easier though!

Exactly, not forgetting the fact I’m an amazing cook.

What’s all this hard work anyway that people keep mentioning.

I don’t particularly think I’m hard work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome. "

Same here sister. Loads I could meet but there’s this one unobtainable one and he’s the only new person I want to meet now really. But is it because he’s unobtainable? Who knows how our minds work eh

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm not a man, or wasn't the last time I looked so up to thee whether you take on board my observations or not.

I've been on Fab nearly two years and I've seen many of your posts. Some are like Groud Hog day ( keep reading).

All these men who message you, but you can't get the ones you want.

That loop of behaviour has become your comfort zone.

Going after the unobtainable guy or the disinterested guy is safe,because you're unlikely to get him so you're never going to actually commit and invest in a relationship, put the effort in and make yourself vulnerable.

Being rejected or ignored by the unobtainable guy also confirms your world view that deep down, shock horror, you aren't attractive enough, or sexy enough or likeable enough or just enough.

It's Catch 22.

So do you carry on with Ground Hog day or do you actually want things to change?

If so I'd recommend accessing some therapy. Start working on why you behave the way you do. Usually behaviour learnt in childhood. Therapy would be a safe environment to talk about that stuff.

You are an intelligent, funny woman who deserves happiness.

Get off the Fab merry go round.Work on yourself.

What have you got to lose?

Good luck x

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

Hmmm, so I’m fucked then, or not as the case may be.

I’m actually quite mellow.

The banging tits and the rim jobs would make it easier though!

Exactly, not forgetting the fact I’m an amazing cook.

What’s all this hard work anyway that people keep mentioning.

I don’t particularly think I’m hard work. "

You're constantly asking people about yourself. See this thread as an example. As someone says above, you come across as self absorbed and insecure. Rightly or wrongly, most people would consider someone like that to be hard work in a relationship.

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"Your threads wear me out reading them, imagine living with you!

Hmmm, so I’m fucked then, or not as the case may be.

I’m actually quite mellow.

The banging tits and the rim jobs would make it easier though!

Exactly, not forgetting the fact I’m an amazing cook.

What’s all this hard work anyway that people keep mentioning.

I don’t particularly think I’m hard work.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Not sure how anyone can answer really as we don't know how the chat goes with each person...so all I will say is, go with the flow, you could be giving off vibes that say I want a man for a relationship which will put some men off. Change how you act and go with the flow, have a bit of fun along the way, don't give off vibes or even think to yourself that you are looking for something and it just may happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How any woman as good looking as you could have gone a year without a shag on a swingers site if you are after a shag is hard to believe. Are you real or a fake, all the alarm bells go off, or is looking for that specific man, code for RELATIONSHIP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I want to be hear for the forums that why I’ve stayed here so long. I don’t believe I’ll find what I want on here but I have an open mind and not closed off to the possibility of finding someone.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

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By *opinovMan
over a year ago

Point Nemo, Cumbria

".. the ones that have my interest have my full attention. But like I could go months and months not speaking to anyone, I haven’t shagged anyone for over a year. But when I find one I like I put them off right at the start. "

I suspect quite a few folks feel this way about themselves - insecurity about how we come across is much more normal than we think, even among those who we might view as very confident. For my part, I have similar thoughts from time to time and often feel very reticent about contacting women - even those I know, when I'm feeling insular, for fear of putting them off.

You look stunning physically (you really do), but as for how you come across in conversation here, I really can't say since I've only just returned after a long break. I dare say more of us could do to learn how to love ourselves a little more - like anyone anywhere, regardless of age, looks or gender.

I do hope you find what you're looking for.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

are you sending nudes to these guys?

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I would suggest if there's a pattern in how these relationships work out, to look to analysis as to why that might be.

I mean seek out a professional to listen to you and give you unbiased advice and maybe point out where you might be influencing the outcome.

It's the old thing of, if you always do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome. "

I think you have a very high opinion of yourself, hence all these "what do you think of me" threads,is not knowing your hot not enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

You don't come across as a cunt. But I and I think a lot of people think, that you only put across your defended side on the forum.

I don't think many of us can truly say what the real you is like as it may very well be different one to one

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

You don't come across as a cunt, but your personality is such that you will put off a lot of men looking for more than a quick fuck. On the plus side you're quite engaging as shown by how many people respond to you.

My advice would be to row back a little on displaying the negative aspects of your personality. You done more than one story on here about how you are prone to resort to violence. That's going to be a massive red flag for the vast majority of men.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

You don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

You don't come across as a cunt. But I and I think a lot of people think, that you only put across your defended side on the forum.

I don't think many of us can truly say what the real you is like as it may very well be different one to one "

That's one way of getting a meet, respect

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

Depends on what you really want. Judging by this post, it seems like you want something more like a relationship (however casual), in which case you might find more luck using generic dating sites, and just keeping this one for the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

You don't..

Do you know what you want? If so be clear and filter up. Don't go after the attention of many. Look for someone patient enough to get to know you. Enjoy the friendship and anything else is a bonus.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

Yup, I think you have to state, in full, what you are looking for, and stick to it, and make sure you take it slowly enough so the guys chancing their arm give up and go away. Most of them will be, so most of them will!!

Say you want to date and DON'T touch them or let them touch you for two or three dates, til you are sure they are interested in you for more than a fuck.

Put the boobs away for good, act like girlfriend material and maybe a boyfriend will appear? Concentrate on dating sites, stay on here for sure, but you don't need hundreds of approaches, just a steady trickle of more suitable ones.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

You don't..

Do you know what you want? If so be clear and filter up. Don't go after the attention of many. Look for someone patient enough to get to know you. Enjoy the friendship and anything else is a bonus. "

Yup, this.

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By *ottie 13Woman
over a year ago

Happy go lucky

Let's face it this place is so far away from the real world most of the time you'll struggle to find anything real (although I'm sure it happens for a few) do you know what ypu actually want and what you're looking for on here or off here maybe try looking at your profile and the responses you get and think why you get that response if I was you I'd hide your smoking hot pics and see if someone is interested in your personality first you might have more chance finding what you are looking for ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

Just literally put exactly what you’re looking for. I always have, we all get the hundreds of messages. I’ve currently got 402 unread. Just delete them, you can usually tell whether they’re worth reading by the first line anyway. I don’t think I’ll find what I’m looking for either and I’ve sort of given up now. If it wasn’t for the forums I’d be long gone. I think you’re alright and you do make me laugh but I think you’re making this harder for yourself than it actually is x

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

Highly unlikely that you will find the love your life on a sex/swingers site. If you do will you be happy with him fucking other women? That's what the majority of guys would expect from a woman on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me you come across as insecure. Yes you know you're attractive but you do mention it, often. You use your outer beauty to hide your inner securities and wear it like a mask of arrogance.

If you are the same when messaging then the guy would maybe feel pressured. You're telling the whole world that everyone wants to fuck you but you want him. If someone said the same to me it would come across as drama and a bit too clingy and needy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

Say you want to date and DON'T touch them or let them touch you for two or three dates, til you are sure they are interested in you for more than a fuck.

If I stated I’ll do 3 dates before sex I’ll have guys taking me on 3 dates to get the sex and then they’ll be on their way most probably.

The pictures are a good place to start. Need to take some clothed ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just guessing here...

I think you are mixed up. Maybe due past heartache or experiences that we don't know anything about.

You have a big gap that needs filling but you fear being hurt again. So instead look for love on a swingers site full of men who see you as just a 'fuck' and will say/do anything to achieve that. You look for a shining knight to save you and whisk you away. You can maybe come across as bitch.... but the truth is that this is your armour to protect yourself from getting hurt. You no doubt have a very big heart, which is a burden.

The answer is to date and not sleep with anyone. Delete the 500 and look for 'The One'. Probably not on Fab, but he maybe.

I'm probably way off.

Good luck eitherway x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not that I’m your type or any thing, but if I was I probably wouldn’t meet you.

You come across as needy, high maintenance and some time a little arrogant.

I like reading your forum threads from the outside but I can’t help but think half of them are posted in order to cause a reaction.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

Say you want to date and DON'T touch them or let them touch you for two or three dates, til you are sure they are interested in you for more than a fuck.

If I stated I’ll do 3 dates before sex I’ll have guys taking me on 3 dates to get the sex and then they’ll be on their way most probably.

The pictures are a good place to start. Need to take some clothed ones.

You don't tell them its three dates then sex. You just make yourself unavailable for sex until *you* are ready for it. That might be 3 or 300 dates. You need to adjust your attitude and expectations in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

Say you want to date and DON'T touch them or let them touch you for two or three dates, til you are sure they are interested in you for more than a fuck.

If I stated I’ll do 3 dates before sex I’ll have guys taking me on 3 dates to get the sex and then they’ll be on their way most probably.

The pictures are a good place to start. Need to take some clothed ones.

But you don’t need to promise anyone sex after however many dates, just because you are on here and talk to a guy doesn’t mean he’s guaranteed to get sex from you !Just talk to people you are interested in and take it slowly and easy and stress you are not after a quick fuck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome. "

What is the point of having all these messages. What is the point of all these guys on WA and KiK that do nothing for you. Get rid of them all.

Step away from the superficial attention. Put away your bits, set your filers so nobody can message you and go looking for guys that interest you instead. Quality not quantity. Also don't bait and switch ... coming across as a fun time then thinking you can convert a guy into serious relationship mode later just confuses us guys. If you want to be a serious GF then be a serious GF from day one. This applies whether you are talking about fab or your everyday life.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome.

What is the point of having all these messages. What is the point of all these guys on WA and KiK that do nothing for you. Get rid of them all.

solid advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another thing I’ve noticed, all your threads are about you, which suggests you are totally self absorbed. Needy and self absorbed are a turn off, regardless of what sex you are. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome. "

It sounds like your self asteem?

The feeling your Being rejected by the ones that you can't have

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt.

Say you want to date and DON'T touch them or let them touch you for two or three dates, til you are sure they are interested in you for more than a fuck.

If I stated I’ll do 3 dates before sex I’ll have guys taking me on 3 dates to get the sex and then they’ll be on their way most probably.

The pictures are a good place to start. Need to take some clothed ones.

I agree, I always thought that avatar pic is your best. But don't tell them they have to wait 3 dates - just tell them you want to take it slow because you are not looking for casual. Be sure they like spending time with you aside from anything sexual - hang out with them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

If they did counteract them, wouldn’t they be doing so already?

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

For you definitely mark highly on the crazy hot scale. See YouTube under same name and you will see it’s on the money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to say stop looking on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you want isn't on here.

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By *uck427Man
over a year ago

wales

499 and you missed the 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask what Your heart has got to do with anything òn a sex site?

Maybe the guys you like sense your after something more than casual sex..and there not.

Just a thought.

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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago

warwickshire

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

To be fair you don't have to resort to listing sexual things as you're good qualities either, but it will again get your inbox flooded with guys that just want one night of sex with you which is what you say you don't want

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

For the right person they will - I would not even be too specific about the sex in the first instance, let them tell you what they like, eventually.

You need to stop attracting the wrong people, or attracting people for the wrong reasons. I think you have got in the habit of 'switch selling' a little bit - you sell yourself on your 'hotness' but actually you want to be appreciated and loved for your character strengths? So maybe you need to let those take more priority somehow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know you and I can only go on the posts I've seen from you. For someone so outwardly beautiful/ lusted after/ desired you seem very insecure and there lies the problem. For me your post is a reflection of your feelings towards others and actually answers your question.

Apologies if I am wrong , as I said I've not got a lot to go on, just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

I wonder that too. Maybe women will be too honest. Are you after honesty OP?"

Well as she’s blocked everyone of our sex then I can’t say

Seriously OP, are you after a relationship from these 500 guys. Remember guys see us gals as easy on here sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

I wonder that too. Maybe women will be too honest. Are you after honesty OP?

Well as she’s blocked everyone of our sex then I can’t say

Seriously OP, are you after a relationship from these 500 guys. Remember guys see us gals as easy on here sadly. "

Easy?

It takes an average of 6 months for a new guy to get a meet! How is that easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You look great, you are hard work, they want to fuck you without the hard work. "

This

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"For you definitely mark highly on the crazy hot scale. See YouTube under same name and you will see it’s on the money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDq0qeOXolA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

I wonder that too. Maybe women will be too honest. Are you after honesty OP?

Well as she’s blocked everyone of our sex then I can’t say

Seriously OP, are you after a relationship from these 500 guys. Remember guys see us gals as easy on here sadly.

Easy?

It takes an average of 6 months for a new guy to get a meet! How is that easy

"
maybe because you live so dam far away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/02/19 16:42:10]

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

If you make enough effort to keep your negetive qualities in check, and make sure you accentuate your positive qualities, then yes, people will try to look past your flaws (we all have them afterall).

I dated a girl last year with more issues than the Radio Times back-catalogue. Ultimately those issues became too much to handle and I had to end it. The only reason it lasted so long, and I was able to tolerate it for so long, was because it was obvious that in spite of her problems, she was actually a very sweet, caring person, and that was enough for me to take the risk and try to work around the issues.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

I think you are more than self aware and don't really want any help, but crave attention from men. If that makes you happy great. If not then you know what to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you like a lot of attention and approval if you don’t get it from a guy then that annoys you !

My honest opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

But the "bad" qualities are the ones you tend to focus on and show with your behaviour.

The good ones are the ones that need to shine out by themselves and that only happens if you let them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You give out some good advice, but you rarely take it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who cares?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve read through the thread now.

Personally I think you are very unsure of what you actually want, Romance or just sex? I would definitely go on a dating site if I was you and maybe just use fab for the forums and chat until you are sure what you want. You are a gorgeous looking lass. Or maybe just go with me

sod men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who cares?

"
m

She obviously does to do this post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK so not man and just my opinion but when you seem to be into someone you come across very in to them from your forum posts. You seem to worry about every thing they say and do, so probably comes across needy to the men of your affection. Where as those other guys want you because they can't have you if that makes sense. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a man, or wasn't the last time I looked so up to thee whether you take on board my observations or not.

I've been on Fab nearly two years and I've seen many of your posts. Some are like Groud Hog day ( keep reading).

All these men who message you, but you can't get the ones you want.

That loop of behaviour has become your comfort zone.

Being rejected or ignored by the unobtainable guy also confirms your world view that deep down, shock horror, you aren't attractive enough, or sexy enough or likeable enough or just enough.

It's Catch 22.

So do you carry on with Ground Hog day or do you actually want things to change?

If so I'd recommend accessing some therapy. Start working on why you behave the way you do. Usually behaviour learnt in childhood. Therapy would be a safe environment to talk about that stuff.

You are an intelligent, funny woman who deserves happiness.

Get off the Fab merry go round.Work on yourself.

What have you got to lose?

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What is needy though? Like I don’t need anyone, I’ve been on my own for a long time so having a guy full time would be a lot to adjust to. I’d be happy with an exclusive friend with benefits. Just the good parts of the relationship with none of the mundane stuff, it’s just that exclusivity thing that’s hard to come by. I want a guy to have fun times with without the trappings of a relationship but I don’t want that guy to want to shag other birds, I just don’t, I want to have unprotected sex with cum inside me and for that I believe you’ve got to be sleeping with just the one person.

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is needy though? Like I don’t need anyone, I’ve been on my own for a long time so having a guy full time would be a lot to adjust to. I’d be happy with an exclusive friend with benefits. Just the good parts of the relationship with none of the mundane stuff, it’s just that exclusivity thing that’s hard to come by. I want a guy to have fun times with without the trappings of a relationship but I don’t want that guy to want to shag other birds, I just don’t, I want to have unprotected sex with cum inside me and for that I believe you’ve got to be sleeping with just the one person.

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

Asking if he’s staying for tea

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

You can't have everything you desire, it's the old saying rough with the smooth. Sounds like you want the relationship without the commitment but you have to commit to have any form of relationship be it friends with benefits or a full on relationship

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

Its the word "exclusive".....

It's not just you in this boat and I look for the same as you for those reasons. But it's like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

Don't be so hard on yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly

Hope you’re ok kid, you’ve posted a few similar threads recently. Our inbox is always open to you.

In response to your question I personally don’t think it’s your approach that’s the problem.

More that you’re standards for a potential partner narrow the kind of guy you’ll consider down to around 25% of the male population.

Of that % there’s probably only half that aren’t already happily partnered off.

What’s left in the age group you’re looking for are either players, incredibly selective or newly single.

In short, you’re looking for a needle in a haystack and you’re looking for it in the wrong places.

I think it’s highly commendable that you refuse to give yourself to anything less than what your heart desires but you have to accept that In doing so you could be looking for a very long time and possibly never find it.

My advice to you would be to try dating some guys that have the kind of personality you’re looking for and see past the physical attributes.

Find a nice one give him enough chance to grow on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

You want a guy to be there when you want but not when you don't. Exclusive and FWB don't tend to go together. Why should a guy invest in an exclusive relationship with you ... what does he get out of it?

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I think its pretty normal for girls to want the man that doesnt want them.

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

Find that friend young lady. A friend that likes you for who you are, And not what they can get out of it physically.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Just read the complete thread.

My 2p? Even after our four year break your activities on here, both profile wise and forum wise don't seem to have evolved over the past 8 odd years or so.

You know you can get male attention through your pics and posts. You know 99% of that attention is from guys you'll never be interested in. Yet you still do the same things time and time again that will get the identical results.

There's been plenty of advice to you over the years that would most likely have reduced the busy inbox, minimised the unwanted attention and filtered through potential good matches that may have helped you find a suitable partner. Has it been acted on?

Long term site members know how Fab works. They know the perils of online interaction and how to make your life less stressful. If you were a newbie you'd get the benefit of the doubt from people. But you're not. You're definitely intelligent enough to know better. But you seem unwilling to take the actions required for whatever reason.

As others have said - you come across as confused as to why you get so much unwanted attention yet seem to seek it at every opportunity. You certainly appear hard work to any interested male and your posts centre on drama filled stories that would send many a suitable guy running for the hills.

If you want to stand any chance of finding the right guy for you on here you need to focus on preventing anyone unsuitable from interacting with you, shut down your I box via filters and be proactive in making contact. If the only people who can chat with you have been pre-screening by the only person that matters (you) then the chance of meeting Mr right increases exponentially.

If I were single? No amount of physical attraction would be worth the drama.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say just take one for the team n shag someone like me...I dont mind the odd munch, and foods fine too.

however on a serious serial note, I've seen your sameish posts for years(apart from the fun ones), other than that, I just perv yer pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why have a list of guys on kik/whatsapp who do nothing for you?

Why give them that info in the first place if they did nothing for you?

Sounds like you only like those that dont show an interest because they dont show an interest. If they do you drop them to the lists that you have no interest in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read the complete thread.

My 2p? Even after our four year break your activities on here, both profile wise and forum wise don't seem to have evolved over the past 8 odd years or so.

If I were single? No amount of physical attraction would be worth the drama.

Good luck.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Just read the complete thread.

My 2p? Even after our four year break your activities on here, both profile wise and forum wise don't seem to have evolved over the past 8 odd years or so.

If I were single? No amount of physical attraction would be worth the drama.

Good luck.

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

"Right so I’m taking from this that I’m hard work, needy, insecure and arrogant.

They’re shit qualities. Would my good qualities counteract them, loyal, loving, a good friend, honest, caring, swallow, lick bum holes, love sex.

I’ve never commented on one of your threads before but here goes, and if I’m wrong, apologies... I think you have a need to over-analyse things to the Nth degree when it comes to men; their reactions, interactions, intentions etc. I’m not sure if this comes from insecurity, but it seems you need to understand men to a level where the man may not even understand himself or be aware that his actions will be scrutinised.

From what I’ve read of your posts, you’re very straight talking, this can rub people up the wrong way, or maybe in the case of men intimidate them/put them off. Whether you can or want to alter this about yourself is up to you, whilst in a perfect world we’d all just be ourselves constantly and everyone would get along, it’s not like that in real life. Sometimes - not all the time as you still need to be you - you have to tone down what you say, think of who you are speaking to and how you will be perceived.

I’ve quoted your post above as it really did make me laugh - in a good way! I see you having a very blunt, dry sense of humour which is hard sometimes to portray in writing as it’s easily misread x good luck anyway x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I don't know if anyone can give an accurate answer about this situation as we only see one online aspect of you.

My impression of you is most likely very different from the real you.

However I would say that several people have already given you good advice.

I've said in the past that I think that the guys you go for reinforce your insecurities about intimacy; they seem to be classic 'player' types, you know they're not really available which means that you don't actually have to commit or engage with them in a relationship sense. I actually think you're afraid of meeting 'the' guy that you're hoping for.

You also come across as very all or nothing, you're either 100% or tell them to fuck off. That can be hugely confusing, especially at the start of something as both sides need to find their feet. Look at what happened with the gym guy, you were into him, had the chance, got scared, then when he was effectively seeing someone else you went hard for him.

Personally I reiterate what another poster has said; take some time away from here, look to getting some professional advice and support regarding your self esteem and then look again at guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From your statuses and posts I think you're a laugh. Might be a bit hard work at times but that's about it.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome. "
I've had similar recently, it's called wanting something you can't have. Just gotta let go.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I have checked my zero messages and zero people think I am a psycho

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I will add though that in the time that I've been reading your posts not a huge amount has changed in your approach to fab, at least not regarding the forums etc.

Any real change will take time and effort on your part, it's not something that you can just pay lipservice to.

If you really think that your approach or that you're at fault then find what you need to make the change, trying to solve it via the forums is akin to trying to solve equations by chewing gum.

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just read the complete thread.

My 2p? Even after our four year break your activities on here, both profile wise and forum wise don't seem to have evolved over the past 8 odd years or so.

If I were single? No amount of physical attraction would be worth the drama.

Good luck.

Contacting the guy first on here doesn’t sit well with me. Why because males dominate the site and probably have a lot of messages ignored or deleted so when a female contacts them they’re more likely to say yes even if that female is not someone they’d normally go for. I’m happy being approached, my filters have an age range, I block unverified, newbies and pictureless profiles I’m not confused why I get so many messages, every woman on here gets lots of messages, I’m no different. I don’t care how many messages I get, that is not my complaint or my issue.

My ‘dramas’ that I discuss on here are quite common issues that most women have, I’m just honest about shit. I don’t try and pretend to be an alpha female that’s strong and able to have emotionless sex, I have feelings, I wish I could treat guys like human dildos and be a bit colder but I can’t.

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

"
sounds exactly like a friend of mine. 2 marriages, cheated on both husbands, had numerous men fucking her when she felt the need but said she didn't want a relationship and was happy on her own. Told her what she needed, she denied it but she met a guy and has been happy with him for a few months now. Met each others family and all that. She actually said to me "how did you know what I wanted when I didn't know myself?"

Sometimes it stares you in the face but you refuse to accept it as it goes against what you think you want. You just need someone that knows you well enough to tell you and go from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

Oh hold on. You’re not a Cunt. It’s only little old me, I don’t know you at all but I was where you are now. I’ve gone through all the points you have made above. But I found him. I don’t know how, I don’t know what I did differently. This time last year at was at a stage where I’d been separated from my husband for almost 6 yrs. Not really had a boyfriend in that time and nobody sure as hell met my kids.

I remember with my single female profile I was honest. And I was only prepared to meet guys who said they were looking for the same. If they were bullshitting me, well we just didn’t meet again..

I slept with some, I was a bitch to some, I ignored a lot! But I got there.

I don’t believe, in my opinion, a dating site is the answer as such. You can be more open. But I would get rid of the boobs pics ( as bloody gorgeous as they are) and add YOU. Who you are. I’d change your name. But most of all be honest and true to yourself. Any man who is decent and respectful and genuine, will see that you are too.

I hope you find what it is you’re looking for.

I don’t think you’re self obsessed or hard work. To me you come across as head strong, you know what you want and what you like and won’t settle for less. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Gem x

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Just read the complete thread.

My 2p? Even after our four year break your activities on here, both profile wise and forum wise don't seem to have evolved over the past 8 odd years or so.

If I were single? No amount of physical attraction would be worth the drama.

Good luck.

Males may dominate in numbers but that works in your favour.

Nobody can make your chances of success easier than yourself. Being the proactive one will do that. If a guy responds positively to a message isn't that the point? You're not promising him anything. You're not committing to anything. But it means the first hurdle - you being physically attracted to him - is overcome.

You can sit and sift through your 500 messages til you grow old. Or you can take control of your life, speed things up and stand a better chance of finding the right man.

But every time good suggestions are offered you find a reason they won't work for you.

Maybe you don't really want to find that guy and the extra effort involved and the attention it gets is what really drives you?

There are many ways to make life simple.

But they only work if you actually want a simpler life in the first place.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

Needy doesn't mean that you NEED a partner or aren't independent. Other words for needy would be : diva, demanding , attention seeker, self absorbed, unable to talk about anything but yourself, not seeing others exist for any other reason except to be there for you. Not seeing others needs. Not asking about others. Being narcissistic. Asking about yourself all the time. Feigning having the slightest interest in the responses of others. Playing the victim. Baying at the moon. Whining me me me. I don't get it , I don't get it , I don't get it. Not having any humility what so ever. Thinking that others think that swallowing cum is a positive human attribute. Telling strangers you like to piss on them and lick their arse hole and then being feign suprised when they see you as 'just a fuck' ....

Needy is sort of giving it all out in a fuck off big bin lid and imagining it's top of men's lists when they are looking for dateables.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Gonna have a think about my profile. Fucking embarrassing updating it though cos people that I’ve been interacting with previously will be like here she goes again. Feel like I’m peddling my wares, trying to sell brass tat outside the Chelsea flower show.

Me looking for what I want on here is like a guy going on Grindr and wondering where all the nice females are. Just want exclusive with a twist, Love with debauchery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrogance, that's usually what turns me off EVERYTIME in an otherwise attractive woman. Once I see it, I can rarely unsee it.

I'm not saying you are, but your post SCREAMS it.

You're looking for men on here to be physically exclusive with, yet you won't give them any of that Soul? Why on Earth would they want to remain faithful to you? When there are so many other interesting people on here?

Love is about the only thing I'd consider going exclusive for. Only.. I'm a Swinger, on a Swinging Site, not a 'normal' person on a Dating Site. So when I find love again, eventually.. I'm hoping it's going to be with a woman who loves to the point there is no jealousy anymore, like I will. Allowing us to Swing together.

I'm sorry for not blowing smoke up your arse like a lot of others, but I honestly think you need to have a long, hard look at yourself and question what you really want out of life.

You don't sound like a psycho OP. You do sound like someone who has a rather high opinion of herself. A spoilt teen who cant have what they want. You sound like most of the new single men. A low-ish opinion of others who don't fit your exact criteria, which lets be fair, are based on rather shallow things. Your posts on this issue, as others have mentioned - are repetitive and...

Despite offering some good advice to others on some threads.. You take none at all yourself.

All that would make me lose interest in you very quickly.

I don't mean to insult you, or hurt your feelings. You asked for an honest opinion.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

Needy is sort of giving it all out in a fuck off big bin lid and imagining it's top of men's lists when they are looking for dateables. "

Spot on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

Needy is sort of giving it all out in a fuck off big bin lid and imagining it's top of men's lists when they are looking for dateables. "

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Me looking for what I want on here is like a guy going on Grindr and wondering where all the nice females are. Just want exclusive with a twist, Love with debauchery. "
Oh for fuck sake somebody told me to join that site. Taking the piss I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Gonna have a think about my profile. Fucking embarrassing updating it though cos people that I’ve been interacting with previously will be like here she goes again. Feel like I’m peddling my wares, trying to sell brass tat outside the Chelsea flower show.

Me looking for what I want on here is like a guy going on Grindr and wondering where all the nice females are. Just want exclusive with a twist, Love with debauchery. "

Others have found it though.

It's not impossible but you're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Right men that have ‘known’ me for a few years what are your genuine opinions of me?

Like do I come across as a psycho?

I’m doing something to repel these people, maybe they can sense my heart is just full to bursting point, I don’t know.

So yeah, opinions most welcome. "

Suspect, what do you need from this?what if you didn’t have it?

And what is driving that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do women do that gives off a needy vibe then?

Needy is sort of giving it all out in a fuck off big bin lid and imagining it's top of men's lists when they are looking for dateables. "

100% agree

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Yes they probably will be thinking that. That's because your profile changes frequently with your mood. People read it and are confused.

If you're really honest, and I mean brutally honest with yourself op you know all the answers already. You're just too scared to take a leap of faith and change.

If you don't let go of the past, you'll never move forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another thing I’ve noticed, all your threads are about you, which suggests you are totally self absorbed. Needy and self absorbed are a turn off, regardless of what sex you are. "

If I'm honest I was thinking exactly the same thing.

Being hot makes people initially attracted to you but if you are hard work or high maintenance it's going to be very off putting for a lot of men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Needy is sort of giving it all out in a fuck off big bin lid and imagining it's top of men's lists when they are looking for dateables. "

I don’t tell the guys I converse with on a one to one basis that I want to piss on them. I don’t indulge in any sexual chat. When I’m asked what I’m into I always say this and that. I don’t do wank fodder in my one to one conversations. All that shit is reserved for here, when I feel like I’m amongst friends and like minded people and the in context with the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change your username for a start it suggests possibly a constantly combative woman.Also love is not easy to find so hopefully you will come to a settled place about that (beyond the pain) and be able to be mostly content.I don't know you but some of the other contributors do so what advice is helpful for you give it a try.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

I like the profile text, quote the whole song.

I've got big blue eyes and able to satisfy.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits. "

You got three out of four.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All this hard work stuff is bollocks. Hard work is second guessing people’s thoughts, hard work is not knowing if someone is interested. I’m easy work because I’m upfront, I’ll always say what I’m feeling and people always know where they stand. If more people were honest then my brain wouldn’t try and bridge the gap to what they’re thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits.

You got three out of four. "

Let me guess, you’ve got a banging pair of tits ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits. "

I dunno. She has good tits but I like mine more.

I agree about the rest though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All this hard work stuff is bollocks. Hard work is second guessing people’s thoughts, hard work is not knowing if someone is interested. I’m easy work because I’m upfront, I’ll always say what I’m feeling and people always know where they stand. If more people were honest then my brain wouldn’t try and bridge the gap to what they’re thinking. "

I know it sounds stupid but do you ever just ask them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits.

I dunno. She has good tits but I like mine more.

I agree about the rest though. "

Can we not turn this into my boobs. I didn’t say the comment.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits.

You got three out of four.

Let me guess, you’ve got a banging pair of tits ?! "

Sigh ........ no

but I don't envy anyone elses....

Mine have moved on since their heyday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like you Op, you’re unique, the forums would be a duller without you and I think every women on here envy your tits.

I dunno. She has good tits but I like mine more.

I agree about the rest though. "

To be fair I didn’t scroll the thread and I forgot about Bert and Ernie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like the profile text, quote the whole song.

I've got big blue eyes and able to satisfy.

I was thinking of doing the whole song!

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I like the profile text, quote the whole song.

I've got big blue eyes and able to satisfy.

I was thinking of doing the whole song!"
Yeah catchy song that, very apt too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know it sounds stupid but do you ever just ask them? "

Wait, do you honestly think after a guy goes cold on me that he wouldn’t think I was licking my own elbows by asking him “whatcha thinking?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

Are your eyes green ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what’s the solution then, do I make a profile that states what I’m looking for? Done that before and people can take advantage of it.

Do I pretend I’m looking for sex and then meet guys that think I’m up for sex when I’m not.

Do I say I’m looking friendship first before shagging.

I don’t know. Didn’t know I came across like such a cunt. "

Think you have answered your own questions you won’t find what your looking for on this site why waste another year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know it sounds stupid but do you ever just ask them?

Wait, do you honestly think after a guy goes cold on me that he wouldn’t think I was licking my own elbows by asking him “whatcha thinking?” "

I meant before they go cold, I assumed that's when you do your openness about your thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

How do you know that? She may be taking it all on board and deciding what she thinks is best for her.

Just because people give advice it doesn't mean anyone has to act on it; it might be shit advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

She changed her pictures. Took the more provocative ones off.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I know it sounds stupid but do you ever just ask them?

Wait, do you honestly think after a guy goes cold on me that he wouldn’t think I was licking my own elbows by asking him “whatcha thinking?” "

Serious question.

Why do you think online interaction is any different to real life? People will sometimes tell you what they think you want to hear. Sometimes they will lie. Sometimes they will 'go cold' on you for what you think is no reason at all, when to them there obviously is.

You say you're up front and open with people.

Ok.

So write a profile that 100% says what you want. The specific physical attributes, height, build, hair, cock size etc.....and be adamant that there'll be no deviation from them. Insist on a face and full body shot with all messages or it's an instant delete and block. And block anyone who trys their luck or who you're not interested in.

If you won't be proactive and make the first move then adhering to those rules will make inbox management easier.

Write profile text that says what you've said that you want on here. Nothing more, nothing different. That is being upfront.

Swap out the boob pics for mundane, dressed photos. That will filter out those looking for wank fodder. Turn off the ability for people to fab your photos. None of that shit will help you.

Delete all interests. Only start discussing them once you've developed a conversation with someone.

Then you might whittle down the many to the few. Then the few to the maybes. Then the maybes to a social meet.

But, as I've already said. You know that this would help you get what you want.

If you really wanted what you say you do then you're perfectly capable of doing so.

If things then go tits up after meeting in person then that's no different to anyone meeting through here, a dating site, work, friends or the pub. Nothing can foresee or change that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

How exactly do I show I’m not coming across as needy anymore or self absorbed? I’ve taken all my pictures off from public view apart from the ones with clothes. I’m working on my profile. I’m not blocking men from messaging because I don’t want to contact guys first, for reasons I’ve stated above.

What other advice have I been given but not following?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

What other advice have I been given but not following?"

I think it's your forum posts that most people are referring to as they often come across as needy and self-absorbed and if I'm honest sometimes confrontational and even slightly aggressive. Maybe take a genuine interest in other people, that might help.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You don't have to follow advice if you don't want to...you might think it is rubbish advice for a start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

Rome was not built in a day...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know it sounds stupid but do you ever just ask them?

Wait, do you honestly think after a guy goes cold on me that he wouldn’t think I was licking my own elbows by asking him “whatcha thinking?” "

Perhaps it's too much pressure too soon. You could give things time to naturally evolve perhaps. Let them get to know you on a more carefree level. Things never happen when they are rushed. Perhaps they feel a little overwhelmed? Truth is good, but sometimes you need to just enjoy the time spent together, instead of planning two step ahead, when they are still in the process of getting to know you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask why it is only mens opinions that you value?

I agree with this. Pushing them away, then they fuck off, but that makes them more attractive.

It's the crap dad thing. Always trying to get his affection.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

What other advice have I been given but not following?

I always give people advice and comment in other people’s threads. I give people sound advice as well that I’ve put a lot of thought into but all I’m recognised for is being self absorbed

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

[Removed by poster at 05/02/19 19:10:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without knowing exactly what you say, or act around a man, we can't even guess what goes wrong.

How many men have you tried and failed with?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I think you may have more luck with finding someone who wants to be exclusive on conventional dating sites. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you may have more luck with finding someone who wants to be exclusive on conventional dating sites. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Agreed. I don't think you'll find what you're looking for here.

I hope some of the advice given is helpful

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We've been kicking around on here for around 10 years now, and I (Mart) have seen a lot of your comings and goings, and your forum posts.

In my opinion, you, OP, are hot, intelligent, quirky, fun.....and batshit crazy, not in a bad way per se, but nuttier than squirrel shit.

You are also so insecure and vulnerable that the "dad" in me just wants to hold you and tell you its going to be ok.

You know you are hot, and you aren't afraid to say it, not a bad thing in itself, but when mixed with a very forthright manner, and a quick wit, it can backfire.

And then there is the whole "I cant find a guy who meets my criteria" thing, whilst also vocalising how you would treat this mythical god amongst men like a... well, a god.

I'm not sure that the guy you want is on here, someone else said, to paraphrase, its almost like you don't want to meet "the one", as you set such high standards.

Would I shag you? Hell yes... not that I'd have a chance, but hey, thems the breaks.

Would I date you if I was single?

Fuck no, way too much headwork, it would like being at the rodeo on a bull with a reputation for killing its riders....a hell of a ride but, you know when it all goes wrong its going to be bad!

I wish I could give you some sort of magic formula that would make it all ok, but the best I got is that you need to stop trying so hard, stop over-thinking every approach/glance/comment (in the real world), and just enjoy Fab for what it is, a means to an end, whether that's dating, shagging, friendship or (ideally) all of those combined.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My god, I’m proper fucked up. Like how is a guy ever meant to see past what everyone on here must be seeing.

I’m so not like other people. I judge people on how they are to me personally.

I went out with a guy for 18 months 2012-2013. He never made me feel like I didn’t know where I stood, I felt like he loved me, I never thought he’d be out shagging other birds and he didn’t even live in Wales he was from way up north in England. Ok I finished him when he said he was going to move here but he still speaks to me now to this day so as far as being a gf I couldn’t have been that bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

What other advice have I been given but not following?

I always give people advice and comment in other people’s threads. I give people sound advice as well that I’ve put a lot of thought into but all I’m recognised for is being self absorbed

I've seen you give great advice and also heartfelt support to women in the past. I remember at least one woman you really stood up for and gave her her mojo back from your kind words. I remember threads you posted about other topics where you showed your kind, caring side. Your attention to detail on what you were discussing at the time, showed that you do care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My god, I’m proper fucked up. Like how is a guy ever meant to see past what everyone on here must be seeing.

I’m so not like other people. I judge people on how they are to me personally.

Is he single?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Lots of advise given and none as I can see as been taken up by the OP.

Are your eyes green ?"

They are but no green with jealousy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My god, I’m proper fucked up. Like how is a guy ever meant to see past what everyone on here must be seeing.

I’m so not like other people. I judge people on how they are to me personally.

Is he single?"

Yeah, own business, own house up there and yeah he does ask now and again but once it’s gone for me it’s gone. They have to catch me when I’m still infatuated with them!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

While load of positive advice on here. Up to you whether you choose to take any of it.

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