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Unlikely lines you wouldn't read in a erotic novels

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By *itty9899 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Miss Steel was all tied up with a ballgag in her mouth as Mr Gray turned around and said "I'm off to the pub to watch football, I'll be back in 2hr"

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘The aliens have landed!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that it ?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

They stared at eachother across the table, wondering who would crumble first. Biscuit dunking was a serious business..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

He'd sent a thousand messages that day, posed for a dozen cock shots. Any hole was indeed a goal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They bith went off to nursery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He'd sent a thousand messages that day, posed for a dozen cock shots. Any hole was indeed a goal. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He whispered sweetly and said I want to try anal play.

She purred and reached under the bed, pulled out her 20inch strap on and whispered good so do I

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By *unkym34Man
over a year ago

London

The stare out had gone on far to long she began to wonder how much longer he could hold her gaze then suddenly and at great spead and passion he grabbed the last biscuit as he returned to work from his lunch break

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He opened the door to her luxurious office at the top of the most expensive office building in New York, tripped over his own shadow and fell at her feet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They stared at eachother across the table, wondering who would crumble first. Biscuit dunking was a serious business.."
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She was very annoyed, as she wanted to go to the pub to get d*unk and watch the footie too....

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

... this is like reading Belinda Blinked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who is this “Belinda Blinks” woman, has he gone to the pub to watch footie with her...

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

My nuts are too tight, anyone got a number 7 ring spanner handy?

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Her sexy underwear, her little black dress, her heels. Yes, he'd put her clothes back on just in time for her taxi.... and MOTD was just about to start x

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By *inxy300Woman
over a year ago

nottinghamshire


"He whispered sweetly and said I want to try anal play.

She purred and reached under the bed, pulled out her 20inch strap on and whispered good so do I"

That did make me chuckle lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He whispered sweetly and said I want to try anal play.

She purred and reached under the bed, pulled out her 20inch strap on and whispered good so do I

That did make me chuckle lol"

Glad we could make you chuckle xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And the mother in law was welcome anytime. The end.

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By *rownboy30Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

He was like “u want sum fuk” and bae said “ye”

Fin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Up n cumming she was !!

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"Parker, take off my dress", purred Lady Penelope.

"Yuss Milady" he replied,

"Parker, take off my shoes", she purred.

"Yuss Milady", replied Parker.

"Parker, take off my underwear", said Lady Penelope more firmly.

"Yuss Milady", he replied deferentialy.

"And don't let me catch you wearing it again!" she scolded.

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

His hands trembled in anticipation and uncertainty, as he moved his finger on to the trigger. He peered through the scope, and lined his crosshairs directly into the centre of the target.

He was nervous. A bead of sweat trickled from off his brow, as he took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind of doubt. 'You can do this' he thought to himself, in a final attempt to regain the confidence he once had in his skills. He steadied his nerves, and his hands ceased to shake. He was ready.

He took another breath, and exhaled as he squeezed the trigger. Click. The shot was taken. Now all that remained was to decide which filter best suited his new dick pic.

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By *od ThrusterMan
over a year ago

Newport Pagnell

As he walked into the café she looked up at him and their eyes met. She tossed her hair backwards and smiled at him. He stopped as he passed her table and asked "would you like some cock snot up your fart pipe"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right ive fixed the leaky tap

And the lock on shed door.

Theres no charge just put your fucking bra back on

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"They bith went off to nursery"

The memoirs of officer Crabtree?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He slowly kissed his way up the smooth skin of her thighs towards that most intimate part of her being.

She bit her lip, trying to hold back the urgency she was feeling but it was impossible and she farted loudly in his face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This piece of halibut is good enough for Jehovah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teresa May in stockings on all fours, looking back seductively over her hunched back!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

She bit her lip a little harder as he whispered in her ear "I want to take you up the arse" but she nodded and grinned at the naughtiness of it, yet inwardly lurched at the thought of someone sliding their manhood into her tight little hole for the first time.

The anticipation of such naughtiness was soon broken when he smiled and presented her with two tickets to the Emirates and said "Oh good, kick off's at three"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She nervously agreed, remembering the last time she tried what he was requesting resulted in the mother of all follow throughs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They bith went off to nursery

The memoirs of officer Crabtree?"

Is this the one where he was pissing by the door?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"His hands trembled in anticipation and uncertainty, as he moved his finger on to the trigger. He peered through the scope, and lined his crosshairs directly into the centre of the target.

He was nervous. A bead of sweat trickled from off his brow, as he took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind of doubt. 'You can do this' he thought to himself, in a final attempt to regain the confidence he once had in his skills. He steadied his nerves, and his hands ceased to shake. He was ready.

He took another breath, and exhaled as he squeezed the trigger. Click. The shot was taken. Now all that remained was to decide which filter best suited his new dick pic."

Perfect.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

She grasped it between her hands feeling it start to grow and rise as she worked them over it, becoming firmer and more rigid as she shaped it, working her hands up and down it's length, the slickness of it against her palms as she moved them slowly and seductively back and forth, up and down, pressing it with her fingers as they teased it from the base right to the very tip and then back down again, sensing it pulse against her fingers as she moved them, waiting for just the right moment to ease off before pressing firmly again to work it closer and closer until finally, finally she had the perfect shape.......how she loved her time at the potters wheel!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She placed her lips over the tip and took the entire length into her mouth. She hated blowing up her lilo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh Mr D'arcy" gasped Meredith, "you are indeed well blessed. Thine Sky remote pales in significance to your manhood"

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By *itty9899 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

She began to dance all sexy, touching herself like an ocean breeze rolling over a hot sandy shore, Mr Juncker could not believe what Mrs May was prepared to do for a renegotiation.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Their bodies began to move rhythmically in time with one another, pressed close, his groin pushing against her as they moved faster, he'd already lifted her so he could nuzzle his face into her chest before she'd slid slowly down between his legs, but now they were building to finish, wanting it to be perfect, wanting to come together just at the right moment, closer and closer their movements frenetic and yet controlled until finally everything around them erupted and they gasped for breath as they bathed in the afterglow of what they had done. The moment was only broken by Craig announcing that it was "FAB-U-LOUS dahling" and Bruno giving them a 10!!

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By *aughingmimsWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd


"His hands trembled in anticipation and uncertainty, as he moved his finger on to the trigger. He peered through the scope, and lined his crosshairs directly into the centre of the target.

He was nervous. A bead of sweat trickled from off his brow, as he took a deep breath, and tried to clear his mind of doubt. 'You can do this' he thought to himself, in a final attempt to regain the confidence he once had in his skills. He steadied his nerves, and his hands ceased to shake. He was ready.

He took another breath, and exhaled as he squeezed the trigger. Click. The shot was taken. Now all that remained was to decide which filter best suited his new dick pic."

Brilliant! Lol

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By *aughingmimsWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd

[Removed by poster at 04/02/19 17:09:00]

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

her pussy was not sopping wet and he didn't have loads of pre cum oozing out and soaking his jeans

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By *osmosgirlWoman
over a year ago

Wetherby

"Offffft" said Mavis "that's a big one. I don't think I could lift it never mind toss it". It was then that George realised that a first date at caber tossing was probably not a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Miss Steel was all tied up with a ballgag in her mouth as Mr Gray turned around and said "I'm off to the pub to watch football, I'll be back in 2hr""

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ole has won it in extra time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She reached inside his underwear to find his cock then cried as she discovered he lied about his size.

He was tiny by name and nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck me" she hinted.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

The moisture from her soaking pussy was dousing her knickers making her aroused and flushed...get out of my knicker drawer you mangy cat she screamed at Thomas o malley

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By *ettyboob72Woman
over a year ago

Manningtree

she called him in the supermarket, and said please add sanitary towels to the shopping list

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"she called him in the supermarket, and said please add sanitary towels to the shopping list"
that's happened for real lol

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

That's when Pele knew he'd forgot his medication

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Ehhh up pet have you seen my pet ferret?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

What a cute fluffy tail butt plug.....I haven't got a fluffy Butt plug

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"They bith went off to nursery

The memoirs of officer Crabtree?

Is this the one where he was pissing by the door? "

Indeed. He also heard a loud shat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She had never had a threesome before . The fact it was brothers made it all the more erotic ...she laid there, pensive as she heard their excited cries

To me

To you

To me

To you

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By *itty9899 OP   Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"She had never had a threesome before . The fact it was brothers made it all the more erotic ...she laid there, pensive as she heard their excited cries

To me

To you

To me

To you

"

good one

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