FabSwingers.com forum: Are forumites treated with more respect?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I’ve never had a vile message from anyone on the forums and I get a lot of bloody awful messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Considering the amount of threads related to messaging there are a forumite would have to be pretty daft to send the type of mail that gets complained about surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I’ve never had a vile message from anyone on the forums and I get a lot of bloody awful messages! "

Why do you get awful messages?

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I’ve never had a vile message from anyone on the forums and I get a lot of bloody awful messages! "

That’s interesting. The only reason I continued my membership was for the forum. Something I never knew existed and took a few weeks to discover when I first joined. Forumites

of the world unite !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I’ve never had a vile message from anyone on the forums and I get a lot of bloody awful messages!

Why do you get awful messages? "

I dunno! They’re just gross most of them. I’d say 80% are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Might be best not to quote my long ass post or this thread is going to get unreadable fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I’ve never had a vile message from anyone on the forums and I get a lot of bloody awful messages!

Why do you get awful messages?

I dunno! They’re just gross most of them. I’d say 80% are. "

100% of mine say nothing

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

Unlikely we get treated better per se, but because we are more social it may be we can pick uponother peoples intentions better and so are able to make better choices.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I think people are wary about posting negative things about other forum users - not sure if it's down to respect or being cowardly. It could be they don't want to air their dirty laundry, realise they are only presenting one side of the story, not want any grief... clearly some don't get along for whatever reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had the nicest messages from fellow forum users. It’s the other twats that spoil it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think this guy is trying to get in our club

Has he completed his 2 years forumite training

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I’ve never had a vile message from anyone on the forums and I get a lot of bloody awful messages!

Why do you get awful messages?

I dunno! They’re just gross most of them. I’d say 80% are.

100% of mine say nothing"

have mine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Considering the amount of threads related to messaging there are a forumite would have to be pretty daft to send the type of mail that gets complained about surely? "
. "Don't call him Shirley" !!lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Considering the amount of threads related to messaging there are a forumite would have to be pretty daft to send the type of mail that gets complained about surely? . "Don't call him Shirley" !!lol"

Thank you!

It's Cherlene

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

ive only had one negative experience on here and that was someone who had posted on the forums it was nothing bad but they disrespected me

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Treat them with respect’

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Not sure tbh.

Even within the forums there's a wide diversity of contributers. Those that enjoy a good, eloquent debate. Those that just use them to whine and complain about the site/not getting meets. Those that just want to kiss/fuck/smash someone.

I'm sure that the former are less likely to send rude, trite, dull or boring, sex focussed messages. The latter? Possibly not.

Less than 1% of site members use the forums so even if it's true that they're better on the messaging front it'll never change the quality of an inbox.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not sure tbh.

I'm sure that the former are less likely to send rude, trite, dull or boring, sex focussed messages. The latter? Possibly not.

Less than 1% of site members use the forums so even if it's true that they're better on the messaging front it'll never change the quality of an inbox.

Kinda thw wrong way round.

Im asking more if forumers dont make threads about each other rather than how they message each other

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Two sides to every story. I’m not sure why people blindly believe what is said on here just because they like the person saying it.

It would be uncomfortable to discuss other forum users wouldn’t it? It could potentially cause too much conflict.

As for unpleasant messages ... it’s only happened once and that was a woman from the forums.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Not sure tbh.

I'm sure that the former are less likely to send rude, trite, dull or boring, sex focussed messages. The latter? Possibly not.

Less than 1% of site members use the forums so even if it's true that they're better on the messaging front it'll never change the quality of an inbox.

Kinda thw wrong way round.

Im asking more if forumers dont make threads about each other rather than how they message each other"

Ah. Sorry.

18 hour day yesterday in the cold and only one coffee so far.

In that case yes. Certainly not in a negative way anyway. There's always been a fair share of 'sucky sucky' arse kissing and appreciation threads, which probably winds up those not involved and helps maintain the myth of a clique. But generally forum regulars know it's not worth airing dirty laundry in public and that bitching about people just makes them look like the infrequent visitors who just use threads as an opportunity to bemoan the site/others.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'll also add that from experience there's a hell of a lot off bitching and gossip that goes on in private between forum users, both on site via message, other online channels and face to face in clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not sure tbh.

I'm sure that the former are less likely to send rude, trite, dull or boring, sex focussed messages. The latter? Possibly not.

Less than 1% of site members use the forums so even if it's true that they're better on the messaging front it'll never change the quality of an inbox.

Kinda thw wrong way round.

Im asking more if forumers dont make threads about each other rather than how they message each other

Ah. Sorry.

18 hour day yesterday in the cold and only one coffee so far.

Hehe jesus i dont blame you im waiting up after night shift fir a delivery, bourbon and coffe for me

Yeah that is a good point there are a few public flirting threads between people who know each other, its cute

Ah i wouldn't know about about off the forums stuff im not really in tbe club scene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not always. Jealousy can turn people against others on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the most part forum users are much more sociable (you need to be) so I think that comes in the messages we send each other.

Also a forum is a breeding ground for familiarity, we naturally get to know each other a little bit just through daily forum use.

Usually a first message is not the first impression people will see of you. Your forum use is.

So in a way yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll also add that from experience there's a hell of a lot off bitching and gossip that goes on in private between forum users, both on site via message, other online channels and face to face in clubs.

No one is going to write it for all to see on here.

Well, some do, and they disappear in a puff of smoke.

Poof!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

No one is going to write it for all to see on here.

Well, some do, and they disappear in a puff of smoke.

Poof!"

Who are you calling poof?

I'm bi-curious.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

"For the most part forum users are much more sociable (you need to be) so I think that comes in the messages we send each other.

Also a forum is a breeding ground for familiarity, we naturally get to know each other a little bit just through daily forum use.

Usually a first message is not the first impression people will see of you. Your forum use is.

So in a way yes."

You mean to say that you’re judging our character by the inane meaningless drivel that we contribute to the forums?

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

"I was thinking, on here theres always a few threads of people complaing about others, the messages they recive, no shows, or even what happens on a meet. Some times in quite a lot of detail.

Now theyre always about somone who doesnt post on the forum and doesnt have any ability to respond and most likley will never see the thread.

Do you think this is because fellow forum posters offer each other a bit more respect than to do this?

Or do you think its because people are a little cowardly if they think they might have to confront the person or give more than just a onesided account of events?

I'm not talking about the against the rules nameing and shaming threads btw obviously thats wrong regardless of if a person reads the forum or not.

I wouldn't say with more respect possibly fear of their reputation can come into it or knowing someone slagging them off will get reproduction from their gang but thats human nature anyway not just the forums.

I would say there is more sycophantic posts by regulars to other regulars than anything on here and they are quite free to do that as it is others to cringe when they do. I don't think more respect is given though there is little of that at all on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the most part forum users are much more sociable (you need to be) so I think that comes in the messages we send each other.

Also a forum is a breeding ground for familiarity, we naturally get to know each other a little bit just through daily forum use.

Usually a first message is not the first impression people will see of you. Your forum use is.

So in a way yes.

You mean to say that you’re judging our character by the inane meaningless drivel that we contribute to the forums?

Not judging, well not much but say you got 2 messages almost identical, one from a forum user and one from a none forum.

You would very likely have a better idea of what kind of person the forum user is (assuming you have noticed them before), in comparison to the none forum user.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Some forumites are treated with more respect. Unfortunately some are treated with contempt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only ever had about 3 shitty messages rest have been very polite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer meeting forum folk i feel i know them better than the folks of the wild west

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Don't think it's a question of more respect and to be honest there's not really a lot to compare what respect is shown to forumites or non-forumites - by default non-forumites don't have a platform to see how they are treated generally.

Most posts whinging about time wasters, fakes, etc etc are fairly non-specific as to whether it's a forumite or non-forumite they are referring to anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was of the opinion that people in the forum are more engaging, more here for a chat/social side as well as the obvious. Also more likely not be genuine if they are putting the effort in here to convese and get to know people. It's a bit the virtual version of tue club scene?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have already mentioned the majority of the messages that I received from forum users are really nice.

However probably about 90% of all other messages are either gross, rude or boring.

I've hardly ever had a one or two word message from someone from the forum but I'm not sure whether this is about respect or whether it's just they've been able to interact with me to a bit better because of comments that I've made or because they've got a good sense of my personality from the forums.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The people who make up the forum are just a cross section of the rest of the site members, many of who don't even know the fora exist.

They aren't likely to dis other forum members publicly. Nobody complains about people in their social group where they can hear them.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Never had an unpleasant message from the forums. That said I block women due to a bad experience on another site where a woman messaged me aggrieved i’d spoken to a man she had her eye on.

My day to day messages have mostly been positive. Filthy, but positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In general we receive very few truly nasty messages but this seems to have little to do with our use of the forums. I can only presume that either we have been very lucky over the course of many years or that the people claiming to get abuse every day are either bringing it on themselves or embellishing it for victim points.

Our block list is very short and other than one message recently we have had few that have caused us to recoil or worry.

Our biggest issue isnt nasty messages its no shows and ghosts. Of those there are many

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its interesting how this thread turned to be about messages instead of threads based on the first response

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yup, it's just like any 'society' - people bitch about someone if they are not in the room, but dare not do it to their face. It's more about shame and peer pressure than respect I think.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I was of the opinion that people in the forum are more engaging, more here for a chat/social side as well as the obvious. Also more likely not be genuine if they are putting the effort in here to convese and get to know people. It's a bit the virtual version of tue club scene? "

Good point - the more communicative people gravitate here perhaps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites...."

Nobody should have to earn respect it should be a given!

I appreciate that some people show a lack of respect for others but then we don't have to stoop to that level do we!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites....

Nobody should have to earn respect it should be a given!

I appreciate that some people show a lack of respect for others but then we don't have to stoop to that level do we!"

Of course it should be earned. Why would you automatically offer respect to someone who treats others like somthing they've scraped off of their shoe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites....

Nobody should have to earn respect it should be a given!

I appreciate that some people show a lack of respect for others but then we don't have to stoop to that level do we!

Of course it should be earned. Why would you automatically offer respect to someone who treats others like somthing they've scraped off of their shoe? "

I'm not quite sure what your point is to be honest it seems like you have a bit of an issue with certain people on the forum but that does not mean that people should earn respect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites....

Nobody should have to earn respect it should be a given!

I appreciate that some people show a lack of respect for others but then we don't have to stoop to that level do we!

Of course it should be earned. Why would you automatically offer respect to someone who treats others like somthing they've scraped off of their shoe?

I'm not quite sure what your point is to be honest it seems like you have a bit of an issue with certain people on the forum but that does not mean that people should earn respect!"

Ok let me put it another way: why should I, or even how could I, respect someone who doesn't show respect for others? Not just talking forumites here, but people in general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites....

Nobody should have to earn respect it should be a given!

I appreciate that some people show a lack of respect for others but then we don't have to stoop to that level do we!

Of course it should be earned. Why would you automatically offer respect to someone who treats others like somthing they've scraped off of their shoe?

I'm not quite sure what your point is to be honest it seems like you have a bit of an issue with certain people on the forum but that does not mean that people should earn respect!

Ok let me put it another way: why should I, or even how could I, respect someone who doesn't show respect for others? Not just talking forumites here, but people in general. "

Respect in the form of manners should be for everyone automatically. I assume everyone is decent enough.

It is then down to their actions and attitude which will define if they keep my respect.

Respect in the form of admiration, or anything past polite manners is then earned. I have more respect for person A over person b, but I have no respect for person c because they come across as a horrible person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People should be treated with respect if they earn it; if they are polite, enaging and considerate - which actually rules out a lot of the regular forumites....

Nobody should have to earn respect it should be a given!

I appreciate that some people show a lack of respect for others but then we don't have to stoop to that level do we!

Of course it should be earned. Why would you automatically offer respect to someone who treats others like somthing they've scraped off of their shoe?

I'm not quite sure what your point is to be honest it seems like you have a bit of an issue with certain people on the forum but that does not mean that people should earn respect!

Ok let me put it another way: why should I, or even how could I, respect someone who doesn't show respect for others? Not just talking forumites here, but people in general.

Respect in the form of manners should be for everyone automatically. I assume everyone is decent enough.

It is then down to their actions and attitude which will define if they keep my respect.

Exactly.

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

The forums tend to be like an episode of keeping up appearances, it is amusing to watch the pomp and pretense.

The nastiest message I have received on here was from a forumite. One that liked to portray themselves in the forum as a respectful and successful couple and where popular in here. However they approached me from elsewhere on the site with a grubby proposition and became abusive when I declined.

The complete opposite of the persona they portrayed in the forum and I'm damn sure they wouldn't dream of speaking to a forumite the same way for fear of being exposed.

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By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere

Yeah probably but hey it's all fun and games and very tongue in cheek with most

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forums tend to be like an episode of keeping up appearances, it is amusing to watch the pomp and pretense.

The complete opposite of the persona they portrayed in the forum and I'm damn sure they wouldn't dream of speaking to a forumite the same way for fear of being exposed.

I offered you my special hole and you turned me away, it hurts.

I’m sorry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the people who think it's funny to answer when they have nothing to say but make a joke about what someone else is asking.if you not interested in something don't reply.

It's getting to the point of people are getting scared to ask anything.

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

"The forums tend to be like an episode of keeping up appearances, it is amusing to watch the pomp and pretense.

The complete opposite of the persona they portrayed in the forum and I'm damn sure they wouldn't dream of speaking to a forumite the same way for fear of being exposed.

I offered you my special hole and you turned me away, it hurts.

I’m sorry x"

You could have at least washed it before taking the picture you sent. But its OK, I have forgiven you. (Wouldn't want people in here to think I hold a grudge...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The forums tend to be like an episode of keeping up appearances, it is amusing to watch the pomp and pretense.

The complete opposite of the persona they portrayed in the forum and I'm damn sure they wouldn't dream of speaking to a forumite the same way for fear of being exposed.

I offered you my special hole and you turned me away, it hurts.

I’m sorry x

You could have at least washed it before taking the picture you sent. But its OK, I have forgiven you. (Wouldn't want people in here to think I hold a grudge...)

You truly are a special person and we hope you find what you’re looking for.

Thanks for your forgiveness x

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

"The forums tend to be like an episode of keeping up appearances, it is amusing to watch the pomp and pretense.

The complete opposite of the persona they portrayed in the forum and I'm damn sure they wouldn't dream of speaking to a forumite the same way for fear of being exposed.

I offered you my special hole and you turned me away, it hurts.

I’m sorry x

You could have at least washed it before taking the picture you sent. But its OK, I have forgiven you. (Wouldn't want people in here to think I hold a grudge...)

You truly are a special person and we hope you find what you’re looking for.

Thanks for your forgiveness x"

You are TOO kind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been messed around by people who used the forums.

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

"It's the people who think it's funny to answer when they have nothing to say but make a joke about what someone else is asking.if you not interested in something don't reply.

It's getting to the point of people are getting scared to ask anything.

This place is very insular and as such discourages many from getting involved, or at least from speaking their mind and having proper discussions and conversations. As a result we just get the same crap threads on rotation and the comments are like an echo chamber.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had nasty messages from forum users in the past.

Perhaps people who use the forum are more interested in the social side and perceive people as people and not as fuck objects.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure tbh.

I'm sure that the former are less likely to send rude, trite, dull or boring, sex focussed messages. The latter? Possibly not.

Less than 1% of site members use the forums so even if it's true that they're better on the messaging front it'll never change the quality of an inbox.

Kinda thw wrong way round.

Im asking more if forumers dont make threads about each other rather than how they message each other"

I misunderstood too sorry.

The bitching occurs off the site. Secret kik groups. They need to appear nice in public so don't usually post anything as threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say it’s less about confrontation and more to do with discretion.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

"Not sure tbh.

I'm sure that the former are less likely to send rude, trite, dull or boring, sex focussed messages. The latter? Possibly not.

Less than 1% of site members use the forums so even if it's true that they're better on the messaging front it'll never change the quality of an inbox.

Kinda thw wrong way round.

Im asking more if forumers dont make threads about each other rather than how they message each other

I misunderstood too sorry.

The bitching occurs off the site. Secret kik groups. They need to appear nice in public so don't usually post anything as threads."

Wow that hadn’t actually occurred to me

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By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere

Being as I'd been inactive for I a while. I had been privy to such groups in the past needless to say I took myself away from all that crap as negativity became the norm. But whatever flits their boat. Just my opinion of it

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