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Somebody please shoot me through the head

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Had the day off so decided to climb a hill near me, a bit muddy so took my wellies out and slung them in the back of the car.

Parked the car in the middle of nowhere, took the wellies out, turned them upside down and four condoms fell out, just as a old woman went by with her dog.

She gave me such a dirty look, it's not often I'm lost for words, but in this instance that was probably for the best, as anything I'd have said would have probably made it worse, much worse.

I expect the police are looking for me at this moment.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I'd have told her the motto of a good scout is 'be prepared'

Wolf

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im not going to make a crack about filling your boots but why do you keep your condoms in your wellies as you dont live in wales

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Had the day off so decided to climb a hill near me, a bit muddy so took my wellies out and slung them in the back of the car.

Parked the car in the middle of nowhere, took the wellies out, turned them upside down and four condoms fell out, just as a old woman went by with her dog.

She gave me such a dirty look, it's not often I'm lost for words, but in this instance that was probably for the best, as anything I'd have said would have probably made it worse, much worse.

I expect the police are looking for me at this moment."
Well you were being responsible...at least you wont get ya wellies preggers .....lol

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Do you always "cum" prepared??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd have told her that I put them over me wellies to stop them getting muddy.

A pound to a pinch of shit it would turn up in Readers Digest top tips

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"I'd have told her that I put them over me wellies to stop them getting muddy.

A pound to a pinch of shit it would turn up in Readers Digest top tips "

as we've used a condom over the foot to keep the water out of a dressed ingrown toenail whilst showering, I reckon you'd be right

;)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I'd have told her that I put them over me wellies to stop them getting muddy.

A pound to a pinch of shit it would turn up in Readers Digest top tips

as we've used a condom over the foot to keep the water out of a dressed ingrown toenail whilst showering, I reckon you'd be right

;)"
thats taking toefucking too far

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Had the day off so decided to climb a hill near me, a bit muddy so took my wellies out and slung them in the back of the car.

Parked the car in the middle of nowhere, took the wellies out, turned them upside down and four condoms fell out, just as a old woman went by with her dog.

She gave me such a dirty look, it's not often I'm lost for words, but in this instance that was probably for the best, as anything I'd have said would have probably made it worse, much worse.

I expect the police are looking for me at this moment."

Come hill walking in Cumbria, you'd be congratulated on your responsible attitude, the sheep/human crossbreeds are difficult to look after and educate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd have told her that I put them over me wellies to stop them getting muddy.

A pound to a pinch of shit it would turn up in Readers Digest top tips

as we've used a condom over the foot to keep the water out of a dressed ingrown toenail whilst showering, I reckon you'd be right

;)thats taking toefucking too far "

I didn't say try and get foot up her

A good tip for survival/outdoors folks is to put any matches in a condom to keep them waterproof

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I'd have told her that I put them over me wellies to stop them getting muddy.

A pound to a pinch of shit it would turn up in Readers Digest top tips

as we've used a condom over the foot to keep the water out of a dressed ingrown toenail whilst showering, I reckon you'd be right

;)thats taking toefucking too far

I didn't say try and get foot up her

A good tip for survival/outdoors folks is to put any matches in a condom to keep them waterproof"
i dont do outdoors.....it hasnt got room service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do you keep condoms in ya wellies?? xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do you keep condoms in ya wellies?? xx "

So I can tip them out in front of old ladies and make myself look an utter twat, WHY do you think I do it.

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By *landPeggyCouple
over a year ago

Holland !

There's a TV ad over here, grandma and grand daughter in a car. Grand daughter opens her purse and a condom falls out.

The grandma says " I didn't think you liked strawberry " and pops it into her bra.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

BANG!!

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