FabSwingers.com forum: Making that first contact

By *ruman77 OP Man
over a year ago

London

I might be completely in the wrong on this one but would be interested to know what others think.

I recently saw a female's profile that had existed for about a year and contained 2 pictures, no interests or personal information apart from the tagline stating simply 'Looking for guys'. In the personal info section the lady wrote "I'll probably delete your message, so make sure it's good".

I'm more than aware of the vast number of messages that women receive from men and the no doubt ratio of respond/delete messages. So I emailed the woman, not with the interest of meeting (in part because the tone of her profile was off putting), but to suggest a way in which she might reduce emails.

It was clear that she wanted an exciting and/or arousing message that would appeal to her and her interests. So I suggested that she fill in her profile and tell people about her, explaining that by doing so she would likely interest more of the right people. I don't think you can expect a really exciting email from a stranger (maybe a fluke) if they know nothing about you or what you like.

Her response was as quick as her profile and she was not interested in what I had to say but said that guys should simply make the effort to write something more than just "hey do you wanna fuck". I couldn't agree more with her, but I think people should understand that it's not always easy to write that first message, and it helps if you know who you're writing it too doesn't it?

I was very respectful in my message to her, as it was genuinely intended as a way to cut down her junk mail but also to consider the guys messaging her, who could be suitable without her ever knowing.

I think this works both ways and I've seen male/female profiles with little or no information. I'm not criticising anyone, but I see quite a few profiles with limited personal information, followed by a long and sometimes sarcastic statement having a go at people for sending dull messages and the same old questions.

Thoughts?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there's nothing on the profile why read it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/01/19 20:34:08]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really pisses me off that the onus is always on the man on here Women can sit back and have a half arsed written profile, but because they have a vagina think it gives them the right to be rude and disrespectful if any man dares send them an unimaginative message Well fuck them and their shitty attitude Then they have the audacity to complain about being bombarded with messages I really feel for guys on here your dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

My thoughts are if i see a shit profile that doesn't interest me, I wouldn't waste my time offering them unsolicited advice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My thoughts are if i see a shit profile that doesn't interest me, I wouldn't waste my time offering them unsolicited advice. "

This

If someone doesn't grab my attention mentally as well as physically then they're no good to me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irebrand 1263Man
over a year ago

near you

"It really pisses me off that the onus is always on the man on here Women can sit back and have a half arsed written profile, but because they have a vagina think it gives them the right to be rude and disrespectful if any man dares send them an unimaginative message Well fuck them and their shitty attitude Then they have the audacity to complain about being bombarded with messages I really feel for guys on here your dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to take off politics from my profile. The amount of brexit messages I get a day. I’m actually doing it now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hadowcookieCouple
over a year ago

Portlaoise

Totally agree.. Bit of manners costs nothing.. And while I ignore the gross one liners, I try to answer the polite ones, even if it's only to say 'we're only looking for couples.. Etc'. Some really nice, lovely blokes here that deserve a bit of respect.. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The truth is out there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruman77 OP Man
over a year ago

London

"My thoughts are if i see a shit profile that doesn't interest me, I wouldn't waste my time offering them unsolicited advice. "

Totally agreed. Those profiles don't interest me, but it's obvious that women get bombarded with hundreds of emails daily and that can be annoying. Surely a more detailed profile would help prevent interest from non-suiters right?

I have just noticed quite a few profiles that complain about messages while not having any personal information on display. I don't think it's fair to expect an interesting, witty, clever, sexy first message when the sender knows nothing about you.

Complaining is an off-putting trait. Socially most of us don't like to hang out with people who complain all the time. So even if you have just cause for complaining, doing so on a profile will always be viewed negatively with the likelihood of turning away potential suiters.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruman77 OP Man
over a year ago

London

"I need to take off politics from my profile. The amount of brexit messages I get a day. I’m actually doing it now. "

Really? Brexit doesn't seem like a sexy conversation starter. But now we're on the subject, what the fuck is going on?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is there are plenty of guys who would be willing to at least attempt to impress these ladies.

If it's working for them then leave them to it, if their approach doesn't appeal to you then just move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruman77 OP Man
over a year ago

London

"The thing is there are plenty of guys who would be willing to at least attempt to impress these ladies.

If it's working for them then leave them to it, if their approach doesn't appeal to you then just move on. "

I think there's a lot of guys like that. I would always want to write something more detailed and thoughtful. But with no information to go on you aren't likely to stumble on common ground, although you might get lucky. You'd be forced to write something more generic that could be relevant to anyone, a bit like a horoscope.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet that message went down like a lead balloon. Im in the wouldnt bother camp

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread