FabSwingers.com forum: Wanting the fun but don't want to share

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s an SO?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

does he actually know shes bi

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

"What’s an SO?"

Significant other?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s an SO?"

Significant other

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s an SO?"

Significant other.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

Op -as Joan Armatrading says: "Drop the pilot"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

If she is telling him all this and he agrees its up to them but it sounds as though she still has issues with him cheating in the past so they need to tread wearily as it may cause problems for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

All that says to me is that they need to sort out their relationship before anything else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a bit contradictory in that she can have something that he cant? Unless he decides he doesnt mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"does he actually know shes bi"

Yes and they have had chats about playing, of course he's all for it! say's he won't cheat again but going by his past I personally think if he isn't right now he will. But love is blind for some...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm with Topsy on this one - sounds to me like they need to take a step backwards and look at sorting their relationship out first and then look at the possibility of playing with others.

As things stand without, the foundation of a loving and secure relationship, it's a one way street to a lot more potential misery and distrust, and a situation where neither of them will be happy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s an SO?

Significant other. "

Sorry, missed the obvious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

Either part ways if she really wants to test out her sexuality alone and can't with the trust issues.

Working on trust issues before anything happens.... wow! that could takes years for some!!

Or supress her bi side in this relationship if she really wants to be with him but can't bear to share.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

Rather seems to be trying to face in two directions at the same time?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'll say what I say to everyone with these "what should my friend do" relationship problems. Talk to your partner. If he doesn't like what you say then the two of you can negotiate a solution that you both find acceptable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She should meet women without him knowing. He's cheated so she has a free pass.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Double standards if she forgive him for cheating then that should be closure, can’t make him pay or let it be an ongoing issue that’s not forgiving. The term is forgive and forget.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nnie2009Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

"A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

"
No way, it has to be equal for both,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

Sounds like a tinder box she wants to do something in front of him to tease him or get some sort of revenge on him feel sorry for 3 Rd person getting mixed up in this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a tinder box she wants to do something in front of him to tease him or get some sort of revenge on him feel sorry for 3 Rd person getting mixed up in this "

I agree completely xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

"Sounds like a tinder box she wants to do something in front of him to tease him or get some sort of revenge on him feel sorry for 3 Rd person getting mixed up in this

I agree completely xx"

Should be relaxing and sexy for the 3 Rd person not marriage gudieance

Nice profile btw

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like it's all a big drama to me.

I doubt any single women on here would want to be involved in that

It sounds like they need to resolve any relationship issues they have before inviting someone else in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

"A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

No way, it has to be equal for both, "

I disagree, it should be whatever both halves of the couple agree to and are comfortable with. However in this case it sounds like a recipe for disaster and if she doesn't trust her SO I don't think they should be trying swinging at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"She should meet women without him knowing. He's cheated so she has a free pass."

And if she thinks like that it's a recipe for disaster for the relationship - yes he shouldn't have cheated but two wrongs don't make a right either.

*IF* she wants to save and maintain the relationship (and he does too of course) then *any* thoughts of meeting others should be put on the back burner until the relationship is stable again and there are firm foundations of trust and respect back in place - doing otherwise will just see them growing further and further apart and resentment and further distrust creeping in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"A curious friend of mine had this conversation with me yesterday and I was wondering what others think.

What are you to do if you want the full on experience of being with a woman but not wanting your SO to be a part of it?

By all means he could watch but she doesn't like the idea of him having any interaction with the other woman.

He has cheated on her before and she feels that if she's honest with what she'd like he will see it as a reason to cheat again if she's getting the joys and he isn't (if he isn't already cheating

..probably is though bless her) She doesn't want to be like him and go behind his back but is in conflict with her sexuality

I gave my opinion just wondered about others?

I’d say it was time for them to part ways! She wants to legitimately ‘revenge fuck’ and leave him impotently watching! No way that could possibly end well is there?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s an SO?"

Mumsnet speak

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s an SO?

Mumsnet speak

a mate of mine is on there - those women are vicious

Fab is tame in comparison.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s an SO?"

Socks off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a tinder box she wants to do something in front of him to tease him or get some sort of revenge on him feel sorry for 3 Rd person getting mixed up in this "

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread