FabSwingers.com forum: Bullying

By *tella Heels OP TV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

Just be who you are.

By definition a clique will be a minority so youll always have numbers on your side if your outside of it.

But if you want true objectivity id say the "woe is me" approach never gets a good reaction from strangers with zero emotional investment in you as a person.

In forums strength and conviction in yourself usualy comes across best as it makes you entertaining and robust.

But these threads have been going on since forums began they never go anywhere because people refuse to name the nebulous "clique".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. No. Maybe. We all see things differently. Some people will post aggressively, and I noticed that by not being a Tv or having an illness. Just recently I was told someone likes to post against the norm and in a not such polite manner. He certainly believes he’s not in a clique. So even if there was one. (There probably is) it’s nit just those that can be aggressive in posting. Just my opinion, it means nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

I don’t think people will be deliberately nasty to you because you have been ill and/or a TV.

I don’t think there’s a clique. If you went into a pub, who are you more likely to go and speak to? Your friends, or strangers? I think it’s the case on here too.

I just avoid those who make little digs or who don’t seem to have anything positive to say to me. If they respond to me with something, I’ll just ignore. They’ll get bored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure there is necessarily a clique of people that do this.

There are definitely one or two individuals who will deliberately be very controversial or aggravating on a thread. With these individuals you can pretty much guarantee which threads they're going to pop up on to.

I tend to ignore it although sometimes I will challenge rude or bad attitudes but I try and do it in as a respectful way as possible without getting personal.

It is ok to disagree with people. but as my mum always used to say "it's not what you say, it's how you say it".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure there is necessarily a clique of people that do this.

I tend to ignore it although sometimes I will challenge rude or bad attitudes but I try and do it in as a respectful way as possible without getting personal.

It is ok to disagree with people. but as my mum always used to say "it's not what you say, it's how you say it"."

Seems like youre saying this in a very passive aggressive way instead of a constructive way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure there is necessarily a clique of people that do this.

I tend to ignore it although sometimes I will challenge rude or bad attitudes but I try and do it in as a respectful way as possible without getting personal.

It is ok to disagree with people. but as my mum always used to say "it's not what you say, it's how you say it".

Seems like youre saying this in a very passive aggressive way instead of a constructive way

I've no idea what you're talking about there is nothing passive-aggressive about that!

So what are you saying I shouldn't challenge people's bad attitudes! I don't understand what you mean.

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

Just be who you are.

By definition a clique will be a minority so youll always have numbers on your side if your outside of it.

But if you want true objectivity id say the "woe is me" approach never gets a good reaction from strangers with zero emotional investment in you as a person.

In forums strength and conviction in yourself usualy comes across best as it makes you entertaining and robust.

But these threads have been going on since forums began they never go anywhere because people refuse to name the nebulous "clique".

Woe is me???

I’m not crying or anything it’s just a point of view

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Yes. No. Maybe. We all see things differently. Some people will post aggressively, and I noticed that by not being a Tv or having an illness. Just recently I was told someone likes to post against the norm and in a not such polite manner. He certainly believes he’s not in a clique. So even if there was one. (There probably is) it’s nit just those that can be aggressive in posting. Just my opinion, it means nothing. "

Appreciated

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

Just be who you are.

By definition a clique will be a minority so youll always have numbers on your side if your outside of it.

But if you want true objectivity id say the "woe is me" approach never gets a good reaction from strangers with zero emotional investment in you as a person.

In forums strength and conviction in yourself usualy comes across best as it makes you entertaining and robust.

But these threads have been going on since forums began they never go anywhere because people refuse to name the nebulous "clique".

Very eloquently put and so true .

Never crumble to the insecurities of the few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure there is necessarily a clique of people that do this.

I tend to ignore it although sometimes I will challenge rude or bad attitudes but I try and do it in as a respectful way as possible without getting personal.

It is ok to disagree with people. but as my mum always used to say "it's not what you say, it's how you say it".

Seems like youre saying this in a very passive aggressive way instead of a constructive way

I've no idea what you're talking about there is nothing passive-aggressive about that!

So what are you saying I shouldn't challenge people's bad attitudes! I don't understand what you mean."

Your first two paragraphs are totaly passive aggressive followed by a bit of virtue signalling.

You backed that up by going straight to "So what are you saying I shouldn't challenge people's bad attitudes! "

Did we learn nothing from Cathy Newman and how the "so what your saying" trope just doesnt work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

Unfortunately, in life as a whole there's cliques and nasty people, and those with that temperament tend to be worse online as it is perceived as "anonymous".

Rise above them.

They used to bother me, but not any more, I'm as entitled to be here as anyone else as are you ...

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Is there a clique set of people on the forums who cannot we cannot be controversial with?

If you cross that line do you find there are agressive people in the forums who cannot wait to rip into some threads?

I find as a tv and recent severe illness there are some people on here, that can be quite agressive and nasty, shame as this is a very small minority which can spoil threads and posters..

please try and be honest and objective in your responses

Just be who you are.

By definition a clique will be a minority so youll always have numbers on your side if your outside of it.

But if you want true objectivity id say the "woe is me" approach never gets a good reaction from strangers with zero emotional investment in you as a person.

In forums strength and conviction in yourself usualy comes across best as it makes you entertaining and robust.

But these threads have been going on since forums began they never go anywhere because people refuse to name the nebulous "clique".

Very eloquently put and so true .

Never crumble to the insecurities of the few

Never crumble to the insecurities of the few?

Shouldn’t that be never crumble to those who’s aim is to hurt and aggravate? These are never insecure !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pack mentality is rife.

Some will get away with murder on here because of their popularity. Others will tag on in the hope of being in the in crowd.

If you are feeling a little low though, it can seem that others are deliberately being antagonistic. There are some members on here who will go out of their way to show themselves to be ultra straight and will comment on posts for the sake of it.

We all have opinions and we live in a country where we are permitted to voice opinions. Where things go wrong is when people are a cunt about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh bullying is bad

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"The pack mentality is rife.

Some will get away with murder on here because of their popularity. Others will tag on in the hope of being in the in crowd.

We all have opinions and we live in a country where we are permitted to voice opinions. Where things go wrong is when people are a cunt about it."

Well said

I have noticed this too

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

There isn’t a clique.

I think any public forums with encourage those with strong opinions, argumentative natures and ugly personalities as much as the opposite to those things. It’s life unfortunately.

I’m not nasty or aggressive and I avoid people like that because it’s if no interest to me.

As for bullying. Well that is very much an overused term I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is

Woe is me???

I’m not crying or anything it’s just a point of view "

Well you instantly went to it being because youre ill pretty much no one is going to know that youre ill.

You even titled the thread bullying so you are comming across very much as you see yourself as a personal victim.

It does read a bit woe is me which puts the onus on others not yourself.

The way this forum is set up (no signatures and for many disabled avatars) posts tend to be very individual with no past context, each one is read in isolation and on its own merit.

What you posted last week makes no difference today.

If people react negatively to your posting style you either have to accept this or change your style.

Theres no clique out there to force people to change the way they interact with you