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Dear Deirdrie

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By *loswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester

So a guy writes in on an agony aunt page . Says he and his wife rarely have sex any more after 12 years together , and they have an 8 year old son . He says his wife initiated an early night , and he thought his luck was in , only to be told that unless he gets a new kitchen he won’t be getting sex again !

He says he has been allowing for all manner of issues , tiredness , and that he helps around the house . The kitchen they have is only ten years old and there’s nothing wrong with it , so he reckons it’s just an excuse not to have sex . Deidrie advises him to do more round the house , and see how it goes .

Is this really how some people live ?

If so , why ?

Are they mad ?

I would rather be single than live a life like this .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds comparatively civilised - ever seen Jeremy Kyle? Some people do have horrible lives, but seem content for them to be that way. People are strange.

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By *JDDCouple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

He needs to give her something to worry about! Blow job's on the work tops before they need replacing!!

Or find someone who will!

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By *loswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"This sounds comparatively civilised - ever seen Jeremy Kyle? Some people do have horrible lives, but seem content for them to be that way. People are strange."

I’ve watched Jeremy Kyle a few times , and yes you’re right , compared to some of the people on there this is nothing .

But why would people stay together if this is how it is ? That’s what I don’t get .

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By *loswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"He needs to give her something to worry about! Blow job's on the work tops before they need replacing!!

Or find someone who will!"

I have to say that if that was my wife saying this I would be telling her to find a new home , never mind a new kitchen !

What a shitty way to live , and the guy needs to grow a pair in my opinion .

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

She wants and he wants, why doesn't he turn the tables on her, every BJ gets her a cupboard, fucks equal metres of countertop and ANAL for the sink unit ???

Really really surprised Drearie took the woman's side NOT

xslutx

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By *loswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"She wants and he wants, why doesn't he turn the tables on her, every BJ gets her a cupboard, fucks equal metres of countertop and ANAL for the sink unit ???

Really really surprised Drearie took the woman's side NOT

xslutx"

Absolutely .

When women read this shit , I think they figure it’s normal and so the cycle continues . Why does she and most agony aunts always take the women’s side ? I’ve often wondered this in what is supposed to be a more equal world we live in now ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She wants and he wants, why doesn't he turn the tables on her, every BJ gets her a cupboard, fucks equal metres of countertop and ANAL for the sink unit ???

Really really surprised Drearie took the woman's side NOT

xslutx

Absolutely .

When women read this shit , I think they figure it’s normal and so the cycle continues . Why does she and most agony aunts always take the women’s side ? I’ve often wondered this in what is supposed to be a more equal world we live in now ...."

Nothing is ever equal... Despite what people say. Always biased depending who it is haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This sounds comparatively civilised - ever seen Jeremy Kyle? Some people do have horrible lives, but seem content for them to be that way. People are strange.

I’ve watched Jeremy Kyle a few times , and yes you’re right , compared to some of the people on there this is nothing .

But why would people stay together if this is how it is ? That’s what I don’t get ."

I think sometimes they're too frightened to be apart, that they'd never find anyone else who will put up with them and their shit, so they stick with what they have.

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By *bi_scotlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

She's promised him a 3some with her best friend if he gets the bathroom done as well though...

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester


"He needs to give her something to worry about! Blow job's on the work tops before they need replacing!!

Or find someone who will!

I have to say that if that was my wife saying this I would be telling her to find a new home , never mind a new kitchen !

What a shitty way to live , and the guy needs to grow a pair in my opinion ."

Love this.... i dont understand eitjer and gets me mad when start thinking "why stay"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've a close work mate who's wife started charging him for sex. I posted on the forums a while ago about it. It's still going on and he's decided to put up with it much to my amazement! Personally I'd be seeing a solicitor in a case like these..

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre


"Yes I've a close work mate who's wife started charging him for sex. I posted on the forums a while ago about it. It's still going on and he's decided to put up with it much to my amazement! Personally I'd be seeing a solicitor in a case like these.. "

But on the bright side as she gets older the rates should drop with every birthday. If shes not happy he gets himself a newer model obviously.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

I would imagine one factor here is the child.

If they are getting on ok (just not having sex), on balance it's probably a decent thing to Hang around for the lad's sake.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"He needs to give her something to worry about! Blow job's on the work tops before they need replacing!!

Or find someone who will!

I have to say that if that was my wife saying this I would be telling her to find a new home , never mind a new kitchen !

What a shitty way to live , and the guy needs to grow a pair in my opinion ."

Then she yells domestic abuse, she leaves him and gets the kitchen anyway.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!"

I think lots of people think its normal.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

I think lots of people think its normal. "

They do, it's ludicrous, you're supposed to be on the same team!

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By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond


"I would imagine one factor here is the child.

If they are getting on ok (just not having sex), on balance it's probably a decent thing to Hang around for the lad's sake.

"

Never stay just for the kids! The trauma of divorce is a small thing compared to teaching a child how to grow up to have good relationships. Kids model their future lives based on how they see their parents treating each other.

You'd never see this advice given to a woman.

True, the guy writing the letter may have left out far more than what we see, but manipulation is not an OK relationship, and even if you think it only comes out in one aspect, it shows elsewhere.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

I think lots of people think its normal.

They do, it's ludicrous, you're supposed to be on the same team! "

I couldn't live like it. If the only way I could get the kitchen changed was to withold sex I'd be off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

I think lots of people think its normal. "

Its what is putting me off of another relationship.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Sounds grim for both parties. I would buy my own kitchen

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By *ldaCouple
over a year ago

sutton Coldfield

Doesn't apply to any on here I presume, but some people, young and old, are just not that keen on sex, for a variety of reasons. I know a few people who aren't.

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

You realise the majority of dear Deirdre is written in house and aren't real letters

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

I think lots of people think its normal.

Its what is putting me off of another relationship. "

Lots of people understand that it's far easier and infinitely more pleasurable to live in harmony though

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

If someone told me they wouldn’t give me the sex until i’d done the ironing or some such other demand, i’d tell them to hit the road.

Life is to short to not have sex. And good sex at that.

I need sex in my life, i’m a sexual woman. Deny me my oats and i get crotchety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

I think lots of people think its normal.

Its what is putting me off of another relationship.

Lots of people understand that it's far easier and infinitely more pleasurable to live in harmony though "

It's finding someone to be harmonious with is the problem.

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By *loswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I would imagine one factor here is the child.

If they are getting on ok (just not having sex), on balance it's probably a decent thing to Hang around for the lad's sake.

Never stay just for the kids! The trauma of divorce is a small thing compared to teaching a child how to grow up to have good relationships. Kids model their future lives based on how they see their parents treating each other.

You'd never see this advice given to a woman.

True, the guy writing the letter may have left out far more than what we see, but manipulation is not an OK relationship, and even if you think it only comes out in one aspect, it shows elsewhere."

Absolutely spot on

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By *loswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"If someone told me they wouldn’t give me the sex until i’d done the ironing or some such other demand, i’d tell them to hit the road.

Life is to short to not have sex. And good sex at that.

I need sex in my life, i’m a sexual woman. Deny me my oats and i get crotchety.

"

We are the same .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've never understood why any relationship is adversorial, but many seem to be - 'sleeping with the enemy'. Who needs it!

I think lots of people think its normal.

Its what is putting me off of another relationship.

Lots of people understand that it's far easier and infinitely more pleasurable to live in harmony though

It's finding someone to be harmonious with is the problem. "

I suspect you're right. I hope I never ave try.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*have to

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