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Are young people too young to swing, but this isn't actually a question about age.

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

OK…. I’m not doing two things at once this time, so here is the rewrite.

You will see from time to time the question about age and swinging…. and somewhere in the question is the phrase ‘too young’. But is age really the issue…. is it age which makes someone ready or not to cross a few taboo boundaries and fuck in the face of the socially conditioned moral restraints their friends and families live to? Age may be an indication of physical maturity, but it certainly isn’t an indication of emotional maturity. (if you see what I am doing here, I am saying it’s not about age)

Where does you head need to be at?

How do you need to have grown as a person…. what qualities and personal attributes need to be there?

On top of that there is the question of life experience, well at least I think there is. I certainly feel you need to be a bit savvy for your own safety. You need an amount of confidence to say ‘no’ when all around you are saying ‘yes’. You need to know what dodgy sounds like so you can spot when to proceed with caution if at all.

People can get to a ripe old age and be as naive as they were at school.

People can leave school and be more in touch with life than those more than double their years.

I’m not just talking about whether you’ve had sex or not…. you need no common sense or street style savoir-faire to drop your kegs. I’m talking about the emotional maturity required to enjoy no strings recreational sex as an adult without lines getting blurred, feelings getting hurt and a pocket full of regrets when the novelty wears off and the traditional lifestyle beckons once more.

Can people come out of a bubble and jump straight in without feeling a sudden shock of how cold the water can be…. or have people found it better to paddle for a while and submerse yourself slowly. How do people need to be to stop themselves from getting dragged away by the first riptide and then thrown back on the rocks.

You might say… who are we to tell someone else when they are ready or not…. but it happens…. we’ve all seen the phrase “if that’s how you feel then may be this isn’t right for you”. Besides, you don’t have to be telling an individual what they should and shouldn’t be doing to express a general opinion nor to say which qualities/attitude/experiences you had which made it right for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stripping it down to it's basics and removing all laws and social stigma and fripperies (IE the nicy nicey lovey dovey crap society has put on sex)

It's basically the only reason we walk the fookin planet

Years ago before society and so called rational thinking humans were mating and giving birth at very young ages and old age and death was middle twenties and thirties

Instincts ain't really caught up with the fact that we as a race have made laws relating to sex (I'm in no way debasing that fact)

However it gives a whole new meaning to the OPs question on age and maturity

The body decides on sexual maturity the mind may never catch up for some xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes"

lol

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Stripping it down to it's basics and removing all laws and social stigma and fripperies (IE the nicy nicey lovey dovey crap society has put on sex)

It's basically the only reason we walk the fookin planet

Years ago before society and so called rational thinking humans were mating and giving birth at very young ages and old age and death was middle twenties and thirties

Instincts ain't really caught up with the fact that we as a race have made laws relating to sex (I'm in no way debasing that fact)

However it gives a whole new meaning to the OPs question on age and maturity

The body decides on sexual maturity the mind may never catch up for some xx "

ohhh i love it when u talk clever

Basically what he said, our current laws, which i have my own views on do not take maturity into account.

Is there any way to know if you are ready for swinging other than to do it? Arbitrary numbers are no indication of anything except legality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is the Romans... when they imposed Christianity on the empire which was pretty much all of the western world as we know it either directly or by virtue of later missionaries when new places got found... they created a view that says Monogamy is the only way...

Cynics like myself would argue that a person who has something to defend has something to lose and is therefore much easier to govern, so therefore by giving men possession of women (oi I am talking 300AD here, stop putting up that cross!!) they ensured they were too busy fighting other men off to get involved with political revolt.

Indications are that women were fairly equal in early forms of the religion, up until Nicholi got syphilis from one of his mistresses monogamy on either side was not such a big deal, but he was a pretty influential priest and got his revenge with the original sin stuff for which eve got the blame… but again we suffer from history being written and maintained by the victors and evidence of a different way has been destroyed on mass leaving only sketchy clues that perhaps it was different.

Anyway 2000 years later Polo pops up a question, but we all suffer the difficulty of perceiving what is real as we have had the filter of Acceptable Behaviour ingrained onto our thought processes and despite the fact we are mostly swingers on this site we still see our behaviour as the different one….

Let me ask the question from a different perspective, is it normal to feel jealousy? I sure we all know of at least one couple where one partner reaches a rage due to the other partner being looked at in public…. That rage is destructive to the individual suffering it, the relationship and in many cases the wellbeing of others who have been beaten, murdered and worse for what is after all a pretty innocent act.

With jealousy so likely to result in injury, disharmony of the social group, and often violence. How can that be normal behaviour for the survival of a tribe / herd whatever we are…

So perhaps the way of peace comes from the bonobo strain and swingers are the sub species that will save homo-sapiens…

But of course I then read threads from singles who don’t get it and say things like “when I get a partner I could never let him / her be in the lifestyle” or getting thrown out for being told they give a good blow job, instead of improving the world by learning from them…

Damn I need a drink!

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