FabSwingers.com forum: Can long distance relationships work?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/12 11:04:35]

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well Jay lives 82 miles from me so think thats classed as quite long distance so yes it does work.

I have a friend in america, she started chatting to a guy from england, he went to see her, after three years of seeing each other around every four months they got married last april

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no - i don't think they can. Ive tried a few and found that we missed each other to the point of it hurting when we weren't together, when we were together it was magic but dreaded the 'until next time' bit

of course it could be my youth, or just wrong choice of guy. But ive tried and failed.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

oh and my ex boyfriend lived 3 1/2hrs drive from me and i was with him just under two years and it wasnt the distance that split us up

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Two years ago based on the experience of one of my rellies no, but two years one based on my own experience, definitely yes!

Like anything it's the people that make it work, regardless of how far apart they are.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum has a long distance relationship and has had for the past 11 years, he used to live down the road but moved back home to america to look after his elderly mum they visit each other once a year each, talk on skype etc. and thats working out well for them. i think some people can and some people cant. i certainly couldnt

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Two years ago based on the experience of one of my rellies no, but two years one based on my own experience, definitely yes!

Like anything it's the people that make it work, regardless of how far apart they are.

Wolf

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Thinking about it, every relationship ive had since i split with my ex husband has been long distance. Maybe its cause i dont want them under my feet all the while

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok then, maybe I should rephrase my question....

Tips for making a long distance relationship work, in your opinion, would be....?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Ok then, maybe I should rephrase my question....

Tips for making a long distance relationship work, in your opinion, would be....?

Not sure about tips, but i can tell you some of the benefits.

When we see each other its quality time

You dont become complacent

You look forward to seeing each other

You tend to "date" more, ie when we see each other we tend to do something rather than sit in the house(all though we do sometimes)

Although we speak everyday a couple of times, its still fresh when we see each other and we have lots to chat about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

even though mine weren't successful id say:

communication - keep it fresh and not always the same pattern of convo, allocate time to actually talk/skype.. texts are nice but to see/hear them is better

space - dont hound the other half with texts every 2 mins, gives you nothing to speak about and slowly suffocates them.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I used to be sexin this blue chick from Fraxel 9 and it was sweet yo.

But the fact she was several trillion light years away and in a different dimension was a right fuck on for meets.

In the end for practical reasons I started drilling earthlings and dumped her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure can. We have been together for ten years now and in those ten years Red has been in the middle east for around two and a half years in total (8 month intervals,or there abouts) and for another 10 months lived in Suffolk whilst I was home in Glasgow. But we did have a year to make the relationship secure before that started.

Now he works in Newcastle mon-Friday but at times goes offshore to work for two/ three months at a time.

We hardly ever argue and when we are together we make it count. We have two kids and getting married FINALLY next year (iv not been waiting for him to ask honest lol)

Key for us has been trust and honesty. We are hoping this will be the last few months away as we'd like to be together as a family from wedding onwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they can... My master and I spend a lot of time apart...

We communicate a lot, and when we do have time that is ours we cherish every moment...

It isnt for everyone and it does take a commitment that I think is different from normal relationships.. I think you have to be realistic about things to...

I would love to cuddle up to the man I love each and every night.. but for the near future that just isnt possible.. but I have something that to me is precious.. Our golden rule is that we are always totally honest with each other, and we never make promises that we couldnt keep.

There is times that its hard... but that is the same in every relationship.

Cali x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

definitely think they can work, seen it happen many times, however my own experience of this has been far from fun and not sure i could do it again.. having said that i never say never.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I can't see why it wouldn't work... I think actually people try to find obsticals that aren't actually there...

And speaking as a yank... These islands you live on aren't really that big... So the term long distance is all relative!

Try having a then gf emigrating for oz and then telling people a few hours drive is long distance... It is all relative

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Communication is key, However its important that you both want it.. It can be hard but its worth it in the end... x

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Well this sounds purely evil of me and unlike me but in some ways I hope no.

Only becauses a man I have suddenly realised I am very attracted to in the vanilla world is having a long distance relationship since autumn last year.....and I sound horrible to say I hope it doesnt last as would like to get closer to him.

Totally horrible of me. The only thing to redeem my opinion is that he is also very aware of how hard it is when he parts from her.....and I seem to be the bad friend wanting it to end.

Sever shame on me....believe me I know.

So I stick with friends and still hope...pathetic isnt it

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

it did for us

K lived here in Norfolk while I lived in Portsmouth and some years ago she was at home while I lived in Russia

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There is an advantage in that you spend less time with eachother and so it takes longer to realise what a freaky weirdo you're seeing and what nasty personal habits they have.

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By *exytwo_xCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Absolutely! Nina still lived in Holland while I was in England. We spend nearly half our relationship living in two separate countries. (1,5 years). It's not easy, but neither is living together.

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

"There is an advantage in that you spend less time with eachother and so it takes longer to realise what a freaky weirdo you're seeing and what nasty personal habits they have."

are you saying picking my nose and scratching my arse while fiddling with my balls is a bad habit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ever consider it at all so for me its a definite no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my missus moved to leeds for uni, we spend every other weekend with each other and its great

but

ive had a long distance relationship before and it didnt work, all about the person, sounds like a bit of a cliche but if its meant to be its meant to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried it twice and frankly got bored with the train station and motorway. I daresay if either gent was 'the one' it wouldn't have mattered.

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By *ailrulezCouple
over a year ago

stourbridge

T lived in Falmouth and I was in Cardiff, trust me thats a longer drive than it seems

Then we moved in together.. and its been all good since

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

"my missus moved to leeds for uni, we spend every other weekend with each other and its great

but

ive had a long distance relationship before and it didnt work, all about the person, sounds like a bit of a cliche but if its meant to be its meant to be "

Am I allowed to state the obvious without sounding bitchy????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my missus moved to leeds for uni, we spend every other weekend with each other and its great

but

ive had a long distance relationship before and it didnt work, all about the person, sounds like a bit of a cliche but if its meant to be its meant to be

Am I allowed to state the obvious without sounding bitchy????"

ha go for it, i can take it

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

"my missus moved to leeds for uni, we spend every other weekend with each other and its great

but

ive had a long distance relationship before and it didnt work, all about the person, sounds like a bit of a cliche but if its meant to be its meant to be

Am I allowed to state the obvious without sounding bitchy????

ha go for it, i can take it"

If your long distance relationship with your wife is so good, why are you on here?

Are you going to go for the old cliche you mentioned before if she finds out?

Is it fair to say, in your case, that they don't work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're fantastic if you cannot stand the sight of each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i say missus shes my gf, i was on here before we got together and im waiting for the right time to approach the subject, ive not met since we have been together i just enjoy the social side of the website, if anyone has a problem with this then ill happily leave?

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

"They're fantastic if you cannot stand the sight of each other

lol so true!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So how do you cope with the downtime when they aren't around.... switch off to it and just not think about them?

Is that even possible?

Or keep in touch via technology, whatever it may be, phone, text, skpe etc.?

Is it harder every time you say goodbye?( Almost quoting lines from my Dads favourite song there... Every time we say goodbye I cry a little..Ella Fitzgerald sings this amazingly btw)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and when i say social i mean banter, i dont arrange meets with anyone and not turn up wasting time etc

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

if you trust each other and want it to work, then it will work...over analyse every little aspect then it wont xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I had a long distance relationship he was in the US Army based in Germany met in a bar in London fell madly in love got married 6 months later and did not last very long..

There are great things about having a long distance relationships are there are bad things...

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

"i say missus shes my gf, i was on here before we got together and im waiting for the right time to approach the subject, ive not met since we have been together i just enjoy the social side of the website, if anyone has a problem with this then ill happily leave?"

I certainly dont have a problem with it...I have nothing against married/attached people on here..

I was curious as to why you were here as your relationship, as you said, is great!...You have given your reasons!

Good enough for me

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

"if you trust each other and want it to work, then it will work...over analyse every little aspect then it wont xx"

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I certainly dont have a problem with it...I have nothing against married/attached people on here..

I was curious as to why you were here as your relationship, as you said, is great!...You have given your reasons!

Good enough for me

You aint half picky

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if you trust each other and want it to work, then it will work...over analyse every little aspect then it wont xx

|Good point, ta xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well ours has lasted a year last Saturday already

It's gone sooo quickley and it's worked well for us

The feelings and love have grown and grown and because of the distance we have actually learned more about eachother than we both think we would have done had we been closer and seen eachother regularly

(we have spent a lot of time together too thou)

Free texts,calls and skype have filled the gaps

We have had our ups and downs same as any relationship but we are both really happy

(yes dear I've said that bit

)

So yes I think they can work

I'm moving up in the coming months anyway and am up there more and more now as I try to establish contacts for my business using the swinging network in Scotland as a start

I've made quite a few contacts up there in swinging and really enjoy the clubs and socials

It will be better all round when we are settled but yes it has worked well for us xx

Craig xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone has a problem with that mate that's their problem not yours no one has a right to tell you how to live your life or run your profile

Good luck with your relationship xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the needs and wants for both parties involved.

If one half of the couple craves for constant emotional and physical intimacy much more than the other half, then IMHO, it is unlikely to work in the long term.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

i guess after being married for 14 years i have to say yes lol !!!!

holiday romance and long distence relationship for over two years . was at that point we decided it was make or break time as we were miserable being apart and either one of us moved or we ended it . that was meny moons ago and i havent had a minutes regret since .but then again my hubby is worth moving heaven and earth for ! love you darling !! mwwahh xx

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