FabSwingers.com forum: Those pesky zombies are back !

By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

The only thing to defend yourself with has to be within arms reach.

Not the computer or phone your using to be on fab.

I've got a stapler to defend myself with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got a small pair of scissors and the tv remotes x

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By *ugs and JunkCouple
over a year ago

Bellshill

I have a metal flamingo

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I’ve got a small pair of scissors and the tv remotes x "

You've got half a chance then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a staffie at my feet who would expect tummy tickles from any zombies

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

The cast iron frying pan and 2 Patterdales

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

They might love stroking your pussy and it might make them more chilled and less bitey

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

A German Shepherd and a cook book

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"The cast iron frying pan and 2 Patterdales"

Best chance of survival so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frying pan and a steak fork and knife.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

They might love stroking your pussy and it might make them more chilled and less bitey "

Or they could eat my pussy whilst I make a run for it?

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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

A blindfold and some restraints? I don’t think they’re going to do me much good with a zombie!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The poker from the fireplace I should be OK...

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

2 spaniels and a Himalayan salt lamp

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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"I’ve got a small pair of scissors and the tv remotes x "

Left or right handed scissors?

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

They might love stroking your pussy and it might make them more chilled and less bitey

Or they could eat my pussy whilst I make a run for it?

How long does it take to eat your pussy ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/01/19 18:13:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/01/19 18:13:46]

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

Yard broom. Snap the head et voila, one pointy stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A sponge and some shower gel, I'm going to die!!

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Rottweiler and two glass bottles... I'll make it to the tool box at least

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

They might love stroking your pussy and it might make them more chilled and less bitey "

They will eat your pussy

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"A sponge and some shower gel, I'm going to die!! "

Put it all on the floor and yourself and they'll slip and slide and won't be able to get hold of you

A bit like baby oil

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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"A sponge and some shower gel, I'm going to die!!

Put it all on the floor and yourself and they'll slip and slide and won't be able to get hold of you

A bit like baby oil "

Excellent advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A sponge and some shower gel, I'm going to die!! "
sqirt the shower gel on the floor they'll slip on it and you can run away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A blindfold and some restraints? I don’t think they’re going to do me much good with a zombie!

Depends if you are going to introduce them to the world of Bondage

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Cup of tea. I’m gonna sit and drink it and then the zombies can have me.

I’m going out like an Englishman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The tv remote , have actually removed it from my fella’s clutches . Snooker football blah blah blah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cup of tea. I’m gonna sit and drink it and then the zombies can have me.

I’m going out like an Englishman "

Hurrah jolly good fellow chap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I shall take on the zombies with my Amazon Fire Stick remote control.

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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"A blindfold and some restraints? I don’t think they’re going to do me much good with a zombie!

Depends if you are going to introduce them to the world of Bondage "

Good point, I’m still pretty sure they’ll ignore my introductions and just happily munch on me instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A sponge and some shower gel, I'm going to die!! sqirt the shower gel on the floor they'll slip on it and you can run away! "

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By *eldomVanillaMan
over a year ago

London

Wine glass and pile of paper ... Not sure how long I will survive ... I could try boring them with my essay .. it's nearly killed me

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

A cushion and a blanket. I'll create a fort until they all starve and die because they can't be weapons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My pillows, my dogs Benji and Draco, a fork and knife and a glass of water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iPhone charge lead to **** them (censorship by fab) and a mug to do some damage

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

A cat and a cushion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hammer an axe a golf club all within arms reach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dressing gown and my Cockerpoo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and a bread knife

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

My dog or cat

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I have a cup of coffee

With some luck zombies are caffeine intolerant or something....

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

A box of Thorntons chocs.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Pink gin, nail cutters, scissors, lip balm, x box remote and a very large snoring German Shepherd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a golf club and a VERY heavy himalayan salt lamp handy! We'd kick ass

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By *rMardyMsGrimmCouple
over a year ago

near yonder

Hmm not so great here... pillows and a paperback book!

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By *rMardyMsGrimmCouple
over a year ago

near yonder

Hmm not so great here... pillows and a paperback book!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mobile phone and a cuppa - I guess I’m dead then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three pillows, a pair of ear plugs, and a mask for blocking the light. At least I won't see or hear them eating me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

They might love stroking your pussy and it might make them more chilled and less bitey

Or they could eat my pussy whilst I make a run for it?

How long does it take to eat your pussy ?"

Depends... sometimes not long. Other times longer. Either way it's an absolute pleasure

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By *erenity35Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

I have...... an Avon book, a metal straw and a packet of revels that I'm trying to avoid the coffee ones in them.

is calling the A team an option??

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

I'm actually sitting sharpening my seax and axe ready for the start of the re- enactor season. so feeling safe

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

" I'm actually sitting sharpening my seax and axe ready for the start of the re- enactor season. so feeling safe

Come and help me, I only have some nail polish and a pencil!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"A hammer an axe a golf club all within arms reach"

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

A cushion, a set of fairy lights and a fluffy blanket. That won’t work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An Apple pen. I suppose it’s ‘stabby’, I’ve also got a torch to hand too, so I suppose I can be ‘stabby’ In the dark too.

I’ll be fine, go on ahead and I’ll catch you up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A box of tooth picks

they may fancy abit of acupuncture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nasal spray, baby oil, lube, 4 tealights and a hot cup of coffee....I think I may make a slippery escape

Peach x

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By *now white1000Woman
over a year ago

York

A cuppa and a dildo...

Guess i could try using the dildo as a sword

2nd thoughts, maybe one final orgasm before being eaten, go out with a smile on my face

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Nintendo wii

Do zombies play tennis so I can escape

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By *vcarolTV/TS
over a year ago

kilmarnockish

I’ve got some co-codamol, not much use im afraid, but will numb the pain afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dog, a plastic celebrations tub(empty), 2 glass photo coasters and half a coconut candle holder!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And an iron dog ornament(best so far)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A table lamp or a portable water spray fan. I'm pretty done for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine didn't work! I've been bitten! I'm coming for each of you on this thread (apart from the ones with proper weapons) so be careful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pillow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A pillow!

Your gona need something to bite down on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A half-eaten packet of Haribos supermix.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

A blanket... no I'm not Linus...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bottle of wine. And nuggets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A large Viking seax a two handed axe a small hand axe. And a few other large and small weapons. Am in the middle of sorting out my Viking gear lol

My spear and sword are outside in the hallway with my shield

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A pillow!

Your gona need something to bite down on

Yeah I do! The pillow fight did not last long. Hang on a sec... you didn't say what you have to defend yourself

Or are you volunteering to be bitten?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 part fairy liquid the rest water

Squirt that in someones eyes they can't see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a bag of rats

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By *heHornyChefMan
over a year ago

derby

Well I'm screwed then as I'm in the kitchen so it's either a washing up bowl, green scourer or a potato peeler

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Some batteries, a desktop fan, a couple of usb leads, 3 safety pins,a box of paper clips, some sellotape, a remote and a cup of coffee.

I watched Macgyver back in the day. I'll be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some batteries, a desktop fan, a couple of usb leads, 3 safety pins,a box of paper clips, some sellotape, a remote and a cup of coffee.

I watched Macgyver back in the day. I'll be fine.

Surely you’re missing the cat food and washing up liquid he always seemed to have to hand ?

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

A four socket electrical extension bar and a hardback copy of "Mock The Week - Scenes We'd Like To See"

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By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

Pillows, duvet and a box full of toys. Guess I'll have to whack them with the big dildo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This morning- 4 x D batteries. I can take at least 3 out with each throw at the damn biters.

Go on without me, I’ll caych you up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll assume they’re barefoot and stick Lego pieces all over the floor.

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"I’ll assume they’re barefoot and stick Lego pieces all over the floor. "

Ouch !!

that's an evil trap

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

I have a wireless mouse and a flint scraper so it’s not totally hopeless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll assume they’re barefoot and stick Lego pieces all over the floor.

Ouch !!

that's an evil trap

Oh my days! Lego pieces you know!

Double ouch !!

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

I'd give them all blow jobs -that should confuse them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The window. I'm going out of it.

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple
over a year ago

Lust

One very grumpy cat...........think I’m a goner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They will never take me alive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/01/19 15:41:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They will never take me alive

They will though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A large Viking seax a two handed axe a small hand axe. And a few other large and small weapons. Am in the middle of sorting out my Viking gear lol

My spear and sword are outside in the hallway with my shield "

I'm hanging out with this one^^

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just bury all the dead people face down, that way when they try to dig themselves out, they will just be digging themselves further down

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Mortuary sword hanging on my wall and it is sharp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hot water feed tank. Hiding in the loft so all I have not boxed up

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

A crossbow, a recurve bow & a quiver full of arrows (I've just been practising in the garden)

Bring on the zombies, I'm ready!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A crossbow, a recurve bow & a quiver full of arrows (I've just been practising in the garden)

Bring on the zombies, I'm ready! "

Cool. You go on ahead and clear the way, I’ll catch you up when I figure how my t-shirt could be used as a weapon...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my trusty leaf blower filled with tomato seeds, blown into the zombies and fills them up so they are incapacitated, providing a great form of 'compost', I'll have lots of tomatoes forever.

it's not like I'll get killer zombie tomatoes I'm sure.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorted because the dog is laying on the sofa next to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A large Viking seax a two handed axe a small hand axe. And a few other large and small weapons. Am in the middle of sorting out my Viking gear lol

My spear and sword are outside in the hallway with my shield

I'm hanging out with this one^^

Peach x"

Where do you live middle earth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll assume they’re barefoot and stick Lego pieces all over the floor.

Ouch !!

that's an evil trap

Oh my days! Lego pieces you know!

Double ouch !!

I think it’s a good strategy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

zombie muff gloves, surely zombies hate putrid decaying fannies too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A crossbow, a recurve bow & a quiver full of arrows (I've just been practising in the garden)

Bring on the zombies, I'm ready! "

With me on your back....

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ghetto blaster playing 'the cure'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they come through the front I have 5 cats, and half a bar of chocolate to defend myself with. If they go around the back he has 2 chainsaws and 5 angle grinders amongst all the other shit he collects in his man cave to fight them off with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they come through the front I have 5 cats, and half a bar of chocolate to defend myself with. If they go around the back he has 2 chainsaws and 5 angle grinders amongst all the other shit he collects in his man cave to fight them off with.

Is your house the last one on the left?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your house the last one on the left?

As it happens it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pumice stone and some head and shoulders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bag of cotton wool...I'm sure even zombies wont like them being shoved in their mouths

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id just headbutt the fuckers,,,its the only way to deal with "zombies" (them)

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Sitting here in our dining room, we're ok as we've got 12 reenactment swords & 3 axes hanging on the walls around us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A mug with a happy face on it and a stack of post it notes.

Can’t even scald the buggers because the coffee is cold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

silly string to tie the fuckers up

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 25/01/19 08:23:14]

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

Currently a cup of tea and two slices of warm toast, I hope they're ready for a fight because they're not having either easily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feather duster, microfiber towel and some pledge. I'll fucking clean them off!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Toilet Roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An almond croissant and an an Americano. If they try for either there will be big trouble. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I get to become a zombie if it gets me or will I just die?

If I become a zombie I might be able to do my monotonous job a bit better without moaning all day long - fit into society better by watching East Enders and talking about decorating my house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I get to become a zombie if it gets me or will I just die?

If I become a zombie I might be able to do my monotonous job a bit better without moaning all day long - fit into society better by watching East Enders and talking about decorating my house.

decorate it blood red...with your entrails etc..

might end up better than changing rooms lawrence effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got a hanky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A large Anne Summers bag containing a small cat that’s taken up residence in it. I’m gonna surely die

They might love stroking your pussy and it might make them more chilled and less bitey

Or they could eat my pussy whilst I make a run for it?

Could be your pussy that would be running

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By *e_jpMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

A book, a laptop and wearing a pair of leather soled shoes........I’m dead.......or undead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Viking reenactment

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

Ha! Sat in a micro pub reading this post and I've got a 3 glass sampler paddle. - if any of those undead sons cum fer me I'll batter em!.... after I've finished the beers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The remote

And a very fat cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bag of chicken balls x

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By *inn2000Woman
over a year ago

belfast

A gin cocktail and a mint daim bar. The buggers might get me but I will die happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As it happens a 600x110mm double panel radiator - come at me zombies

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

A bottle of water, 3 books and a packet of sports mix.

I’m gonna just hide in the bathroom with my survival pack I think

Lex

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By *rownboy30Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

A thick ass book and paper-bore them to tears and paper cuts galore!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got an aerosol and a lighter for those pesky buggers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a Pork sword

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

a rolled up newspaper to twat them with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A bottle of water, 3 books and a packet of sports mix.

I’m gonna just hide in the bathroom with my survival pack I think

Lex"

Any sports mix left?

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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

2 mini rig's and a bottle of Wyborowa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get in, so glad I visited B&Q this morning... I have a fire axe, a crowbar, a sledgehammer and a nail gun to go mental on the undead twats with!

Not really, I'm in the bathroom and I really don't think a handwaah dispenser and some bog roll are going to cut the mustard, do you?

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By *layfullsam OP Man
over a year ago

Solihull

"Get in, so glad I visited B&Q this morning... I have a fire axe, a crowbar, a sledgehammer and a nail gun to go mental on the undead twats with!

Not really, I'm in the bathroom and I really don't think a handwaah dispenser and some bog roll are going to cut the mustard, do you?

Hand wash all over the floor and they'll be unable to walk without slipping so you could be ok.

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