FabSwingers.com forum: Does ‘personally’ really count towards acquiring a meet or good sex?

By *eo OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton-In-Ashfield

How far do the polite messages really get you these days. I’m being more and more convinced that the conversation is futile if the body and face doesn’t fit into the good looking catagory.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The face draws me in; the personality seals the deal.

If I dont feel lust towards someone through chatting on here I don't think I will in person, although an animated face and body language can make a difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't find the person sexually, visually attractive, surely politeness alone won't lead to sex ?

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Personality goes a long way I feel and many a person greatly values that aspect, sometimes to the point that it can make up for other shortcomings you may have. It certainly is important to me. If it can come with the face and body, even better

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Thing is looks and personality come into it but what each person looks for and finds attractive will be different - it's no different here from normal life really - not everyone there fancies you or wants to get naked with you, so why would it be any different here?

The key is finding those that do find you attractive plain and simple - add to that a dose of having the right expectations, approach and attitude and couple it with a decent profile and pics and you'll be well placed, even if there are no guarantees

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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton-In-Ashfield

"If you don't find the person sexually, visually attractive, surely politeness alone won't lead to sex ?"

Well I would tend to agree. How ever I read that ‘looks arent everything’ and ‘personality is key’ and other one liners to that nature all the time on many different profiles. But I’m wondering how much of it is true and how much of it is to avoid sounding shallow. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with that

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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton-In-Ashfield

"The face draws me in; the personality seals the deal.

If I dont feel lust towards someone through chatting on here I don't think I will in person, although an animated face and body language can make a difference. "

I’d say I’m exactly the same to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The face draws me in; the personality seals the deal.

If I dont feel lust towards someone through chatting on here I don't think I will in person, although an animated face and body language can make a difference. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't find the person sexually, visually attractive, surely politeness alone won't lead to sex ?

I have a 'type' I am generally attracted to initially. If the conversation flows and I am sexually attracted to them, the 'type' is flexible. Same in reverse, they may be visually my dream man, but if he is a knob, it ain't gonna happen either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Impossible to judge personally very well by a pic/profile, you can develop a sense of a personality by chatting.

Of course personality can lead to better sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The face draws me in; the personality seals the deal.

If I dont feel lust towards someone through chatting on here I don't think I will in person, although an animated face and body language can make a difference. "

This...

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By *nvercoupleCouple
over a year ago

Inverness

Personalty is more important than looks for me. We have had meets with guys that I wasn't sure about looks wise but as we meet in a bar or pub first there was no way I would play with the guy if I didn't get on with him.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

For some people you need to have both for others not so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personality had nothing to do with politeness. Some of the politest people i've met have actually been as boring as fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't find the person sexually, visually attractive, surely politeness alone won't lead to sex ?

I think what they mean is a typically good looking person can put people off with a shitty personality.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Sex is better when you have a connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesnt matter as it is just a shag lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being as thats the main trait i look for yes i u cant make me laugh or have a great sence of humour u will have to settle for the rest

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

A polite message does not equal good conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite dont equal personality only manners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex is better when you have a connection."

Yeaay

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It's all about it being part of the 'package' in my opinion. You can have a great personality, be gracious, kind, gentle and have a great sense of humour, but if you're not what they're looking for physically then it's not going to go anywhere.

It's not shallow to want physical attraction. I think that what those lines mean, is that people want to engage with their partners too.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Sex is better when you have a connection."

What's going on with you? You're not catching the feels are you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sex is better when you have a connection.

What's going on with you? You're not catching the feels are you? "

I was as suprised as you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone looks good when they're having a screw don't they?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"If you don't find the person sexually, visually attractive, surely politeness alone won't lead to sex ?

I think what they mean is a typically good looking person can put people off with a shitty personality.

This is why it's much easier to get an idea of someone face to face in a club rather than online. Personality is often hard to get across via words on a screen and pictures are just that - pictures.

So a well constructed message and profile with good photos is helpful, but no guarantee.

Some may be put off by preferences, sexuality, age, location etc. None of those are often discussed in a club envirionment so it's then purely down to whether your personality attracts someone as well as how you look in real life.

You can be gods gift on here and a twat in person and vice versa. It's far easier to hide your true self and any flaws online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t neccassarily see the connection. Absolutly, looks abdcthen personality will draw you in, but unless your new partner knows what they are doing in bed, no amount of desire will make sex any good. I had a GF about 3 years ago, looked wonderful, and we hit it off perfectly. Unfortunately she admitted she didnt have a ‘dirty’ mind in the slightest and sex was disappointing to say they least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think everyone looks good when they're having a screw don't they?"

You haven't seen my 'cum' face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoyed reading this thread and many great posts with different views.

"It's all about it being part of the 'package' in my opinion. You can have a great personality, be gracious, kind, gentle and have a great sense of humour, but if you're not what they're looking for physically then it's not going to go anywhere.

It's not shallow to want physical attraction. I think that what those lines mean, is that people want to engage with their partners too. "

I agree, but not with the bit about if you're not what they're looking for physically it won't get anywhere because:

An awesome personality can make someone physically hot as fuck! Once the brains are in sync the body follows. I know of many occasions/circumstances throughout Fab circles where strong physical connections have been made and people say their partner would not have been their "usual" type on initial profile pictures etc

Flip it from the other side:

You could see as people describe on here often "fit as fuck" due to pictures... then after engaging you get to "what the fuck"

Personalities are much more powerful then lookers. Just the way it will always be.

Having said that I agree with other posters in terms of much easier in person because online things are not what they always seem. Some fabbers have mastered the skill of being multiple people. Hiding behind screens, but in person things are more exposed and not as easy for the ones with game playing mindsets.

On that note:

Online...

Time and patience can reveal true intentions of people. The ones that want to trick you, deceive or use you for point scoring against others are engaging in some serious hard work. To cover up a trail of lies they have to keep telling more lies! The truth always comes out sooner or later.

In other words and shorter version:

Finding a right match mentally for "mind blowing sex" is much harder then finding a physical connection. Because having a one off is easier. Like many I am looking for regular and that can only be with someone having a great personality, attitude, sense of humour etc

Having said that since I been back I have not had a 1-2-1 playmeet yet so maybe I got this all wrong... nah personalities all the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being physically appealing alone isn't enough for me. Personality (and kissing me so I believe I'm truly wanted. Because I'm needy like that) as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's really important...I admit I don't always reply as get an inbox full of hi or dick pics and they don't float my boat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How far do the polite messages really get you these days. I’m being more and more convinced that the conversation is futile if the body and face doesn’t fit into the good looking catagory. "
no you got to have the full package on here HEHE

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Sex is better when you have a connection.

What's going on with you? You're not catching the feels are you? "
Told you, I'm like an onion with many layers. You have underestimated me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously I’d not want to meet someone I thought was pig ugly, but they don’t have to be stunningly handsome either

Personality matters most, and laughter! For me a witty, lively interesting personality hooks me in every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The face draws me in; the personality seals the deal.

If I dont feel lust towards someone through chatting on here I don't think I will in person, although an animated face and body language can make a difference. "

No chance for me then.

I mean, I have a great personality, but you've got to get past my face first

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"How far do the polite messages really get you these days. I’m being more and more convinced that the conversation is futile if the body and face doesn’t fit into the good looking catagory. "

A lot further than "alright fucker fancy a shag"

Manners are a good thing.

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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago

Hitchin

Personality goes a long way.... as for messages they should be polite... not “fancy a fuck”

Personally I don’t know if I’m going to be attracted to somebody sexually until I meet them.... it’s the spark that does it for me.

Looks arnt the main thing I go for..... but it does help if you look smart and not like the back end of a bus

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

First attraction is looks as you can't get personality over in a first message. Upon chatting it does help if there's camaraderie tho

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

[Removed by poster at 15/01/19 18:31:51]

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I always say please and thank you before and after sex, works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it’s always looks first on here, you can get your personality across in the chat and forums though, so probably best to try those areas, specially if you’re a fugly like me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to a bar ... smarten up, dress well, good banter and a nice personality. That is what people do isn't it? It takes a whole package to be attractive. Fabs is no different to real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First attraction is looks as you can't get personality over in a first message. Upon chatting it does help if there's camaraderie tho"

Oooh I say fuck the camaraderie malarkey it's all about the looks... pfffft yeah right.

*Ignore that*

Camaraderie is vital.

What I was meant to say was Blue is still cool.

I wonder if #bluey is still trendy

Looking good as always. I see you got a club now! Big things happening. Feels like I am missing out on all the fun stuff out there.

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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton-In-Ashfield

[Removed by poster at 16/01/19 01:35:04]

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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton-In-Ashfield

"If you don't find the person sexually, visually attractive, surely politeness alone won't lead to sex ?

I think what they mean is a typically good looking person can put people off with a shitty personality.

This is why it's much easier to get an idea of someone face to face in a club rather than online. Personality is often hard to get across via words on a screen and pictures are just that - pictures.

So a well constructed message and profile with good photos is helpful, but no guarantee.

You can be gods gift on here and a twat in person and vice versa. It's far easier to hide your true self and any flaws online.

A"
probably the realest answer so far x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me personality is key!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me personality is key! "

No personality, no connection. No point. Need to have it or whats the point

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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago

Sutton-In-Ashfield

"How far do the polite messages really get you these days. I’m being more and more convinced that the conversation is futile if the body and face doesn’t fit into the good looking catagory.

A lot further than "alright fucker fancy a shag"

Manners are a good thing. "
well yes I wasn’t suggesting that rudeness was the was to go as it’s obviously not. I’m just saying manners in a lot of cases can also have no or very little impact either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah... It's all to do with looks.... Being honest, genuine and having a good personality brings you nothing but abuse and body shaming if you're a stocky bloke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personality or looks; either way I’m screwed... and not in a good way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah... It's all to do with looks.... Being honest, genuine and having a good personality brings you nothing but abuse and body shaming if you're a stocky bloke.

Total crock. You're saying that's your only experience of all of the women you've interacted with here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah... It's all to do with looks.... Being honest, genuine and having a good personality brings you nothing but abuse and body shaming if you're a stocky bloke.

Total crock. You're saying that's your only experience of all of the women you've interacted with here?"

Hes talking rubbish

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Id fuck if i fancied someone... No need for chit chat

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By *apstarMan
over a year ago

Harpenden

I have been very lucky on fab as I have meet a fair few people. The fact i have put my veri up is getting me some shit messages back .. I have been called a fuck boy . A player . Told i would fuck anything on legs .... kinda made me laugh but also pissed me off. Yes I have meet a few people but I have only had sex with 3... also how can I be called a fuck boy when I'm on a sex sight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here the personality is only slightly visible. So looks take the front row, however a 6 pack and bad profile is probably not far ahead of a dad bod with good profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How far do the polite messages really get you these days. I’m being more and more convinced that the conversation is futile if the body and face doesn’t fit into the good looking catagory. "

This swinging world is a tough place......

These women won’t interact with men they don’t fancy....

Crazy right......

Can you suggest a place where women answer every email sent to them ?

And have sex with every man that asked?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nothing that I can add that hasn't already be said yet I am writing this unecessary post because of my FOMO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’d have to fancy someone surely, but I don’t think looks is the be all and end all. A polite an is more likely to get a reply than just your face and body asking for ‘sex today if available’

(still might disappear into the abyss of 100s if messages) if your messaging a woman who likes guys that are respectful, and they’re the type of people you’d like to associate with. It makes sense doesn’t it?

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