FabSwingers.com forum: Come and drain my balls, ladies!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m gonna destroy your pussy and make you cum so hard! Mmmmmm! You know you want it so bad, baby!

)

Ok, fuck it, I admit it. I’m SHIT at the dirty talk

So what makes a GOOD erotic message?

Gents : help a brother out here! Share your tips for your best knicker-moistening patter. What works for you?

And ladies, what makes you wetter than an otters pocket? How can us chaps get the key to unlocking access to your underpants?

Please help me out or I’m stuck with my usual mundane chat about holidays, what you got up to at the weekend, or what’s for tea.... there’s only SO much friend-zoning a chap can take

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought some Ben and Jerry's and I'm going out........

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

ha ha ha. Think id die of shock if you started sending dirty messages dan

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

I love it when a man calls me good girl, tells me what he’ll do to me in a non-destroying pussy way and says brewery - gets me every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Dan you still won’t be able to do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love it when a man calls me good girl, tells me what he’ll do to me in a non-destroying pussy way and says brewery - gets me every time

Ah bugger! That’s me fucked then. I can do “bew er wee”! Any good?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Oh Dan you still won’t be able to do it

Sorry but she's right. Dan maybe you're just not meant to? Nowt wrong with that. Stick to Christmas and food talk.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I love it when a man calls me good girl, tells me what he’ll do to me in a non-destroying pussy way and says brewery - gets me every time

Cains....... one word to get you going .... Cainsssssss........

( it's a liverpool ting! )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't listen to them Dan! I believe in you!

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

"I love it when a man calls me good girl, tells me what he’ll do to me in a non-destroying pussy way and says brewery - gets me every time

Ah bugger! That’s me fucked then. I can do “bew er wee”! Any good?

That’s just how I like it

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Rudey messages make me cringe (with the exception of someone I know intimately). Just make me laugh and tell me I’m purdy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘I’ll rim your arsehole if you rim mine?’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘I’ll rim your arsehole if you rim mine?’"

That makes me drip like a knackered fridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh Dan you still won’t be able to do it

Sorry but she's right. Dan maybe you're just not meant to? Nowt wrong with that. Stick to Christmas and food talk.

I agree with all of the above... you're just too nice

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I really like it when someone says

"Meli, you're right" or "Meli, you're amazing/epic/lush, shall we go to a cheesemongers?".

Obviously change the name to the person's and that will get you golden vagina.

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By *enAndReginaCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don’t find dirty talk effective, it feels embarrassing clumsy and akward. However, visual stimulus is very effective, show me some home vids (way better then professional) involving 2/3 people and the twinges will take over. Show me the porn!

Regina

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh gawd!

So hardly any dirty talking tips so far, just confirmation that yes, I’m am actually proper shit at the sexy banter! Thanks!

That makes me feel so much better on a fuck site!!

So anyway, back to it : ladies and gents - what works for you??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have an hard on Dan !

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"Oh Dan you still won’t be able to do it

Sorry but she's right. Dan maybe you're just not meant to? Nowt wrong with that. Stick to Christmas and food talk.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I can’t do the whole ‘sex talk’ thing either Dan. As Meli says, we can stick to Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really like it when someone says

"Meli, you're right" or "Meli, you're amazing/epic/lush, shall we go to a cheesemongers?".

Obviously change the name to the person's and that will get you golden vagina."

Oh you are so right.

(See what I did there?

)

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Oh gawd!

So hardly any dirty talking tips so far, just confirmation that yes, I’m am actually proper shit at the sexy banter! Thanks!

That makes me feel so much better on a fuck site!!

So anyway, back to it : ladies and gents - what works for you??

Nothing!

I prefer the mundane chat.

I'm a doer, not a writer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m useless ....

Good luck with it though op

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I think very few people are effective at the whole dirty talk business,it depends on lots of thing's and the chemistry between the two of you. I don't really want any dirty talk before I meet someone,but something quietly in my ear during sex can be horny as anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not a fab master in anyway shape or form. But I actually find I get more responses if I keep my messages prettyclean.

I’m the same as you and am terrible at the dirty lingo, has to be in the heat of the moment for me.

So I normally say hi, then compliment and, if possible ask something relating to profile. Add a face pic and say it would be great to get to know them and see if we spark. Other than that I wish them a good day and happy fabbing. The tone tries to be friendly and a little jokey.

But I’d say I have a terrible ratio of messages to replies but isn’t that par for the course?

Clearly you connect with folks with here so that’s pretty awesome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think very few people are effective at the whole dirty talk business,it depends on lots of thing's and the chemistry between the two of you. I don't really want any dirty talk before I meet someone,but something quietly in my ear during sex can be horny as anything."

Psssssst can I stick my spam javelin in your love hole

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Hey can I ask you a question?

Can I suck your cock whilst I stick my thumb up your bum....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt "

IV just exploded

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Psssssst can I stick my spam javelin in your love hole "

Only if I can stick my jimmy riddle in your love hole Dash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt "

If only I had labia

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt

If only I had labia

Fashion some...out of ham

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I'd love to grab a coffee sometime, then if the moods suits we could go to mine and I'll sit on your face.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"I'd love to grab a coffee sometime, then if the moods suits we could go to mine and I'll sit on your face."

You promise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt

If only I had labia

Fashion some...out of ham "

I’m going to just the place to get some

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt

If only I had labia

Fashion some...out of ham

I’m going to just the place to get some"

Hurrah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U mean like

I left a crisp packet on the living room floor and took a shit in the bath

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"U mean like

I left a crisp packet on the living room floor and took a shit in the bath"
other than thst iv no idea what you mean dan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey can I ask you a question?

Can I suck your cock whilst I stick my thumb up your bum...."

Ok, but be quick, I’ve got Pilates at 9.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt

If only I had labia

Fashion some...out of ham

I’m going to just the place to get some

Hurrah!"

Prosciutto labia work for you?

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By *ifuwMan
over a year ago

Hull

Wow what interesting comments so far. What I do is normally send out clean complimentary messages proving I've read there profile while covering what they might want to know about myself.

Then once things have started and chats going well. I leave comments like I've been thinking about you today or I dreamt about you last night which is odd. Then don't go into details. That either leaves them curious and ask you about it or ignore it. Once they have asked tease about it.

But the stuff I write about I aim towards their fantasies or kinks. I would say don't be boring,use your imagination to engage their mind. Make them feel wanted and graved and tailor it to each person. It works for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I want to bend you over and lick you front to back.

Bite your labia and finger you until you squirt "

I’m using this when I cluster message every semi presentable female within a 40 mile radius!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I’m gonna destroy your pussy and make you cum so hard! Mmmmmm! You know you want it so bad, baby!

)

Ok, fuck it, I admit it. I’m SHIT at the dirty talk

So what makes a GOOD erotic message?

Gents : help a brother out here! Share your tips for your best knicker-moistening patter. What works for you?

And ladies, what makes you wetter than an otters pocket? How can us chaps get the key to unlocking access to your underpants?

Please help me out or I’m stuck with my usual mundane chat about holidays, what you got up to at the weekend, or what’s for tea.... there’s only SO much friend-zoning a chap can take

In my experience you can't beat a bit of romantic story telling and scene setting.

Something like;

"Oh Benjamin she gasped, her heart racing, her lungs pounding. Millicent tried desperately to regain her composure as he walked through the door. Seeing him standing there, drenched from the rainstorm. His white shirt drenched, soaked through to the skin. Transparent. Clinging to his defined pecs and chiselled abs.

Millicent could barely hold her emotions in check as Benjamin held her in his arms. A moment she'd dreamt of since she first saw him. A moment in time, a dream come true. This moment frozen in time in her memory for all eternity.

As she sank in his arms Millicent could feel her clunge twinge, her knickers soaked in fanny batter, her flange wetter than an otters pocket. She couldn't wait for Benjamin to finger blast her till she squirted like a Las Vegas fountain......"

Taken from The Housewife and the Coalman by Barbra Cartland.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Straight off the bat without knowing the person first I just couldn't and wouldn't do it - would just feel awkward, clumsy and more than a little presumptuous.

Even with someone I've met and know a little better I just couldn't do it cold without chat having led that way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m gonna destroy your pussy and make you cum so hard! Mmmmmm! You know you want it so bad, baby!

)

Ok, fuck it, I admit it. I’m SHIT at the dirty talk

So what makes a GOOD erotic message?

Gents : help a brother out here! Share your tips for your best knicker-moistening patter. What works for you?

And ladies, what makes you wetter than an otters pocket? How can us chaps get the key to unlocking access to your underpants?

Please help me out or I’m stuck with my usual mundane chat about holidays, what you got up to at the weekend, or what’s for tea.... there’s only SO much friend-zoning a chap can take

In my experience you can't beat a bit of romantic story telling and scene setting.

Something like;

Taken from The Housewife and the Coalman by Barbra Cartland.

It got my loins up for sure!

So much so I’m going to pop on a white shirt, and randomly walk into the shower with it on. Like you do.

And then take a picture of me with my shirt on.

In the shower!

And post it on Fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh gawd!

So hardly any dirty talking tips so far, just confirmation that yes, I’m am actually proper shit at the sexy banter! Thanks!

That makes me feel so much better on a fuck site!!

So anyway, back to it : ladies and gents - what works for you??

But Dan its what makes you you! Plenty talk the talk. It’s whether you can walk the walk that’s important. And those thighs show how good a walker you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man I'm seriously attracted to said come and drain my balls I'm going to destroy your pussy, said pussy would be doing the fandango and gushing like Niagara Falls.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh gawd!

So hardly any dirty talking tips so far, just confirmation that yes, I’m am actually proper shit at the sexy banter! Thanks!

That makes me feel so much better on a fuck site!!

So anyway, back to it : ladies and gents - what works for you??

But Dan its what makes you you! Plenty talk the talk. It’s whether you can walk the walk that’s important. And those thighs show how good a walker you are

We should meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh gawd!

So hardly any dirty talking tips so far, just confirmation that yes, I’m am actually proper shit at the sexy banter! Thanks!

That makes me feel so much better on a fuck site!!

So anyway, back to it : ladies and gents - what works for you??

But Dan its what makes you you! Plenty talk the talk. It’s whether you can walk the walk that’s important. And those thighs show how good a walker you are

We should meet!

Haha we must

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I’m gonna destroy your pussy and make you cum so hard! Mmmmmm! You know you want it so bad, baby!

)

Ok, fuck it, I admit it. I’m SHIT at the dirty talk

So what makes a GOOD erotic message?

Gents : help a brother out here! Share your tips for your best knicker-moistening patter. What works for you?

And ladies, what makes you wetter than an otters pocket? How can us chaps get the key to unlocking access to your underpants?

Please help me out or I’m stuck with my usual mundane chat about holidays, what you got up to at the weekend, or what’s for tea.... there’s only SO much friend-zoning a chap can take

In my experience you can't beat a bit of romantic story telling and scene setting.

Something like;

Taken from The Housewife and the Coalman by Barbra Cartland.

It got my loins up for sure!

So much so I’m going to pop on a white shirt, and randomly walk into the shower with it on. Like you do.

And then take a picture of me with my shirt on.

In the shower!

And post it on Fab! "

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dan, all you need to do is look me in the eyes and say "Suck it, bitch".

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Dan, all you need to do is look me in the eyes and say "Suck it, bitch"."

Does Lib know you're talking to Dan like this?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"So much so I’m going to pop on a white shirt, and randomly walk into the shower with it on. Like you do.

And then take a picture of me with my shirt on.

In the shower!

And post it on Fab!

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Please do Dan, I love it when you post funny photos!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in the day a ham and cheese toastie or a cheesecake would do the trick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There gets to a point where you run out of adjectives. Although liberal use of throbbing, stroking (gently), straining, moist, pleasure, responding instinctively and flicking (with a tongue) have all previously been used to decent effect.

However, everyone is different and there's no such thing as a template.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So much so I’m going to pop on a white shirt, and randomly walk into the shower with it on. Like you do.

And then take a picture of me with my shirt on.

In the shower!

And post it on Fab!

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Please do Dan, I love it when you post funny photos!

The photo mods would have a field day and put me on the naughty step!

Genital mutilation, scat, extreme fisting, Dan in transparent figure hugging wet white shirt?

All guaranteed to assault most normal peoples sensibilities!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"So much so I’m going to pop on a white shirt, and randomly walk into the shower with it on. Like you do.

And then take a picture of me with my shirt on.

In the shower!

And post it on Fab!

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Please do Dan, I love it when you post funny photos!

The photo mods would have a field day and put me on the naughty step!

Genital mutilation, scat, extreme fisting, Dan in transparent figure hugging XXXL size wet white shirt?

All guaranteed to assault most normal peoples sensibilities!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dan, all you need to do is look me in the eyes and say "Suck it, bitch".

Does Lib know you're talking to Dan like this?

While the cat's away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just mention chocolate and wine and I’m there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So much so I’m going to pop on a white shirt, and randomly walk into the shower with it on. Like you do.

And then take a picture of me with my shirt on.

In the shower!

And post it on Fab!

DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Please do Dan, I love it when you post funny photos!

The photo mods would have a field day and put me on the naughty step!

Genital mutilation, scat, extreme fisting, Dan in transparent figure hugging wet white shirt?

All guaranteed to assault most normal peoples sensibilities!

Ha!! This made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love it when a man calls me good girl, tells me what he’ll do to me in a non-destroying pussy way and says brewery - gets me every time

Taking notes...no sorry I am still calling you naughty and a bad influence

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Dan, all you need to do is look me in the eyes and say "Suck it, bitch".

Does Lib know you're talking to Dan like this?

While the cat's away

Hussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know where your coming from as all you want to say is let me come round slap it across your face and make you gush all day

However you need to be polite and respectful and show the other person that your a nice normal person with a high drive but the moral of this site is to meet people have fun.

I haven’t met anyone from here as I’m new, I’m trying my local clubs and hopefully it goes well from there

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