FabSwingers.com forum: Father figure

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you have a father figure in your life? Not necessarily your real dad.

Are they a positive or negative influence for you, and why?

An example may be a crappy father figure spurring someone on to be a better person than they are.

Or - someone thinking that because their dad is shit then they will go down the same path as history repeats itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not anymore but I am very much like him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not anymore. However my step dad of only 4 years was a better father than my actual dad is.

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

No, never really felt the need for a dad. I do have positive mother figures though.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

This is an interesting question and something ive been doing a lot of thinking about over the last couple of years. I had a father in the sense of tbe word but he was never a father. I never had cuddles or sat on his knee he never nurtered me or did fuck all for me really. Anyhow jay believes he is the father figure i never had he loves me nurtures me and supports me 100%. I cant work it out as i never thought i wanted or needed a father figure or whether i had subconsciously been looking. Its a mystery i havent got to the bottom of yet

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Not anymore unfortunately

he was simply perfect and I miss him every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly not. I have very little family. Just my boys and I . They don't have one either but they do just fine.

Their own dad was useless I've been on my own for 10 years, they will all be fantastic dad's. Of that I have no doubt

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I’m very lucky that I do and for years he’s been the inspiration for the way I see my life on a day to day basis. To not be defeated by what life throws at you. That if you want to achieve something you might have to take an alternative approach but the solutions always within you. He’s a very strong man and he continues to surprise me with his attitude and outlook

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm a very lucky woman, both my parents are still alive.

When I was small I idolised my father, I thought nobody else was as handsome or as strong, I felt sorry for other kids who didn't have a dad like him. Of course as I grew older I recognised that he wasn't the movie star I thought he was

but I still have him on a bit of a pedastal. I learnt patience and tolerance from him and he showed huge generosity and charity and is very wise. Sadly extreme old age has robbed him of these qualities to an extent and I find myself needing to show him the same tolerance and patience he showed me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my dad died when i was just 11, never had a father figure after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad was bloody useless but my uncle was pretty cool. I hadn't spoke to him for years but I got his number and told him how amazing he was to me as a kid. He felt a little awkward but I wanted him to know.

Growing up I was very fortunate to have good, older friends who looked out for me. Very grateful for that.

One thing that really annoys me is absent/ uninterested Dads. They have been given the gift of fatherhood and someone who will love them unconditionally and they take it for granted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lucky to still have my dad. He is awesome and a lot of my better traits come from him.

My dad is the kinda guy kids adore and adults would say is a genuine man. He is laid back and really accepting of people but there's fire in him if needed.

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Lucky enough to still have my Dad... Father O'Leary is funnier atill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No unfortunately not I never have had. Obviously I have a father but I wouldn't say he was a good role model. I didn't meet him until I was 28 and he died 2 years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't seen or spoken to mine sonce I was a very young boy. After that I was fortunate to have my grandfather around almost all the time. He was my hero and an incredible man who I miss greatly and always think of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad was bloody useless but my uncle was pretty cool. I hadn't spoke to him for years but I got his number and told him how amazing he was to me as a kid. He felt a little awkward but I wanted him to know.

Growing up I was very fortunate to have good, older friends who looked out for me. Very grateful for that.

One thing that really annoys me is absent/ uninterested Dads. They have been given the gift of fatherhood and someone who will love them unconditionally and they take it for granted.

Sadly many don't realize how lucky they are. Thankfully though, in many cases the children are better off without that kind of person in their lives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pick my Grandpa as my father figure. And he was lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both my parents were fucking useless and I'm genuinely at a loss as to why they bothered with kids. My father is a spiteful vicious bully, best thing I ever did was walk away from him. My older brother is a nasty fucker too so never looked up to him.

Thankfully my grandparents were awesome people and I have a lot to thank my Grandfather for. He's the reason I have most of my core beliefs and principals

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

I'm so upset that so many of you didnt have a decent father.. I now count myself lucky that not only do I have one, but I adore him and am a Daddys girl too.

Btw.. if you need a Dad... not a daddy... He's going spare..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dad is still with us thankfully, but he never really showed me anything, one memory that always springs to mind is him teasing me in front of the family when I was about 11 or 12 as I didn’t know how to wire a plug, as if I should just know. Never had anyone else either, but I can say as a result that everything I have, I have through my own hard work which I quite like.

However, on the other side of that coin, I work with a few young Girls in their 20’s who have either lost their Dad’s or are not in contact with them. They seem to gravitate towards me, been like that on and off for the last 20-30 years.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I lost my dad to suicide when I was 23, he was a strange man. Lovely at times but could turn just like that, it was like walking on egg shells sometimes. He thought all he had to do was flash the cash.

Until recently I worked with a guy in his mid 60's, who I could chat to about anything and everything. He's the kind of dad I would of wanted, such a nice guy, funny, so many stories to tell. He moved to Cornwall and I miss him a lot

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

My dad wasn't much of a father figure unfortunately, he always favoured my siblings over me and recently made choices that led me to turn my back on him after years of a rather strained relationship.

If anything this has led me to try to be the kind of dad that I would have wanted for myself.

I think that a good father figure is essential for all children growing up, and beyond.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

My Dad is a man of great character.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a father but he never figured in my life until just before he died.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Nope. No father figure. I had a great father who obviously

given my age has passed.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"My dad wasn't much of a father figure unfortunately, he always favoured my siblings over me and recently made choices that led me to turn my back on him after years of a rather strained relationship.

If anything this has led me to try to be the kind of dad that I would have wanted for myself.

I think that a good father figure is essential for all children growing up, and beyond. "

Not essential. Desirable yes. Essential.....nah

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m very lucky that I do and for years he’s been the inspiration for the way I see my life on a day to day basis. To not be defeated by what life throws at you. That if you want to achieve something you might have to take an alternative approach but the solutions always within you. He’s a very strong man and he continues to surprise me with his attitude and outlook"

He sounds great.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Growing up I was very fortunate to have good, older friends who looked out for me. Very grateful for that.

One thing that really annoys me is absent/ uninterested Dads. They have been given the gift of fatherhood and someone who will love them unconditionally and they take it for granted.

I love that you told your uncle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I suppose it's an impossible question really. For the people without a dad, whether they feel that was a negative or if it spurred them on.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

If anything this has led me to try to be the kind of dad that I would have wanted for myself.

I think that a good father figure is essential for all children growing up, and beyond.

Not essential. Desirable yes. Essential.....nah "

Just as important as a good mother figure in a child's life. Perhaps I overspoke but I would say that both a good mother and father figure are equally important

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If anything this has led me to try to be the kind of dad that I would have wanted for myself.

I think that a good father figure is essential for all children growing up, and beyond.

Not essential. Desirable yes. Essential.....nah

Just as important as a good mother figure in a child's life. Perhaps I overspoke but I would say that both a good mother and father figure are equally important "

I'd say that the stable presence of a person or persons who show love, discipline and good values is what children need. The gender of those people is irrelevant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy that lives next door loves his boys. You can just tell. He lives on his own and has his boys every weekend. When they are there you can always hear them running up and down, excited, screaming, giddy, laughing. It is so nice to hear.

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The guy that lives next door loves his boys. You can just tell. He lives on his own and has his boys every weekend. When they are there you can always hear them running up and down, excited, screaming, giddy, laughing. It is so nice to hear.

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source"

Its always nice to be told you're doing the parenting thing right. So often we're criticised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source

Its always nice to be told you're doing the parenting thing right. So often we're criticised."

Yup

I didn't mean to take anything away from Mums in that too

I idolise mine

She's fantastic - and hilarious

Increasingly so as the filters have come off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source

Its always nice to be told you're doing the parenting thing right. So often we're criticised.

Yup

I didn't mean to take anything away from Mums in that too

I idolise mine

She's fantastic - and hilarious

Increasingly so as the filters have come off

Good for her being on here. I don't bother with mail filters either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source

Its always nice to be told you're doing the parenting thing right. So often we're criticised.

Yup

I didn't mean to take anything away from Mums in that too

I idolise mine

She's fantastic - and hilarious

Increasingly so as the filters have come off

Good for her being on here. I don't bother with mail filters either."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source"

That's really cool. Bet he was chuffed.

There's a dad who goes to the cafe with his 2 young daughters and he always chats to them, doesn't sit looking at his phone as many parents do.

They ask him some amazingly random questions and he always answers. Or says he'll look up the answer if it's a particularly odd question.

I love seeing them together.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I spent much of my childhood separated from my Dad and whilst he wasn't a bad Dad, he never showed much love or compassion. If there was a problem, throw money at it.

I was chatting to the guy on Boxing Day and told him how I loved hearing him play and how happy it made me to hear them kids laugh and play

He seemed chuffed

Sometimes 'weekend Dads' get overlooked, taken for granted and under appreciated

I thought he needed to know that someone appreciated what he does - even if it was from an unexpected source

Its always nice to be told you're doing the parenting thing right. So often we're criticised.

Yup

I didn't mean to take anything away from Mums in that too

I idolise mine

She's fantastic - and hilarious

Increasingly so as the filters have come off

Didn't think for a minute you were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you have a father figure in your life? Not necessarily your real dad.

Are they a positive or negative influence for you, and why?

An example may be a crappy father figure spurring someone on to be a better person than they are.

Or - someone thinking that because their dad is shit then they will go down the same path as history repeats itself. "

I have Daddy issues

he is a good role model but very

unhealthily controlling. I am 33 and I have to hide my tattoos

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