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Emotions and age

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Has your ability to control your emotions changed over the years?

As a young'un I was quite hard, empathetic, but hard and relatively unaffected by tales of woe.

I'm not sure if becoming a parent opened up my softer side or if it was something else equally traumatic

Now I can find myself a bit teary eyed and emotional when I hear a genuinely tough life story on the goggle box or in person.

Are you as cold as ice or hot as fire?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm much less emotional now than when I was younger. That isn't to say that I'm not genuinely moved by a very sad situation but I'm less likely to cry about it and much more likely to express sympathy or empathy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm the same but about different things.

When I was younger I probably cared too much what others though or how they treated me.

Now I realise that's not something I can control so I let it go more often. I am more empathetic now and other people's upset affects me more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm much less emotional now than when I was younger. That isn't to say that I'm not genuinely moved by a very sad situation but I'm less likely to cry about it and much more likely to express sympathy or empathy."

Its the empathy and sympathy that leads to a lil tear I find. I can control it, I just don't feel the need to. Interesting that we've gone opposite ways

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think I'm the same but about different things.

When I was younger I probably cared too much what others though or how they treated me.

Now I realise that's not something I can control so I let it go more often. I am more empathetic now and other people's upset affects me more. "

Yes, that could describe me too Not so fussed about my own troubles now lol

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I used laugh at my younger bro because he cried at anything...King Kong, House in the Prarie you name it he cried at it.

Now I'm worse than he was...Greatest Dancer had me blubbing last week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I've grew up alot and managed to control mine alot better now. Especially when it comes to what people think and social situations x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

depends. i dont give my heart easily but when i do i do. Can come across as hard but im soft as fucking shit. Im not stupid but i can become emotional over stuff especially animal related i bloody paid someone in americas vets bill over christmas and im invested in our local homeless man though im being sensible and not inviting him to mine. Soft as shit really i will never be rich as i give it all away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes definitely.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm much less emotional now than when I was younger. That isn't to say that I'm not genuinely moved by a very sad situation but I'm less likely to cry about it and much more likely to express sympathy or empathy.

Its the empathy and sympathy that leads to a lil tear I find. I can control it, I just don't feel the need to. Interesting that we've gone opposite ways "

I wonder if it's partly diminishing hormones in my case. I know for sure that its in no small way due to watching my mother using tears to manipulate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used laugh at my younger bro because he cried at anything...King Kong, House in the Prarie you name it he cried at it.

Now I'm worse than he was...Greatest Dancer had me blubbing last week."

My youngest is like that Took a while to come down from Big Hero 6 bless him. Funny beings aren't we?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"depends. i dont give my heart easily but when i do i do. Can come across as hard but im soft as fucking shit. Im not stupid but i can become emotional over stuff especially animal related i bloody paid someone in americas vets bill over christmas and im invested in our local homeless man though im being sensible and not inviting him to mine. Soft as shit really i will never be rich as i give it all away "

I think you sound awesome xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m more emotionally competent now, and have a variety of different ways of expressing them.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

also i am a hard take no shit type of person but that is because i have a serious mental illness and i wont let my vulnerabilities get taken advantage off

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m more emotionally competent now, and have a variety of different ways of expressing them."

Best way to be

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I’m more emotionally competent now, and have a variety of different ways of expressing them."

Yes, that's it. It's emotional maturity and realising when it's appropriate to express certain emotion. For instance if someone tells me something awful has happened to them its ok to cry but its not ok to say "that makes me feel sad" cos its not about me.

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By *ltGirl24Woman
over a year ago

Redcar

Im just a total softy, and can be a little over emotional at times.

Wish I could toughen up sometimes! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been good with emotions but don't bottle them up now like I did in the passed. Cant argue its hormones in my case.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im just a total softy, and can be a little over emotional at times.

Wish I could toughen up sometimes! X"

Nah.. you're all good I think

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

Yes but it’s not my fault. It’s hormonal

I do ‘feel’ deeply and along with that can come emotions I suppose. Overall I’m a happy smiley person though

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By *tirluvMan
over a year ago

the right frame of mind -London

I'VE GOT NO FUCKING CONTROL OVER MY EMOTIONS ALRIGHT!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m more emotionally competent now, and have a variety of different ways of expressing them.

Yes, that's it. It's emotional maturity and realising when it's appropriate to express certain emotion. For instance if someone tells me something awful has happened to them its ok to cry but its not ok to say "that makes me feel sad" cos its not about me."

Yep own your own feelings and empathise with those of others

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'VE GOT NO FUCKING CONTROL OVER MY EMOTIONS ALRIGHT!"

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Yes it has in a similar way to yours Op. When I was younger I was very much a cold hearted bitch. In the past year or so I've found I'm a lot softer. I'm also more willing to express my feelings and own them. I try and do the latter withou upsetting others but it's a learning curve and I'm still young for a turtle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes it has in a similar way to yours Op. When I was younger I was very much a cold hearted bitch. In the past year or so I've found I'm a lot softer. I'm also more willing to express my feelings and own them. I try and do the latter withou upsetting others but it's a learning curve and I'm still young for a turtle."

Young for a turtle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to be an awful lot more emotional recently than I have ever been but I shall blame aging hormones for that. I will allow myself to shed a tear more now than I used to, but I think I unhealthily held it all back previously so maybe a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes im much softer than i was with certain folks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to be an awful lot more emotional recently than I have ever been but I shall blame aging hormones for that. I will allow myself to shed a tear more now than I used to, but I think I unhealthily held it all back previously so maybe a good thing. "

If you held it back, then I'm sure letting it out now is a positive thing. There's no shame in an emotional outburst now and again. I find it helpful. Not that it happens very often, probably because it's no longer bottled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be an awful lot more emotional recently than I have ever been but I shall blame aging hormones for that. I will allow myself to shed a tear more now than I used to, but I think I unhealthily held it all back previously so maybe a good thing.

If you held it back, then I'm sure letting it out now is a positive thing. There's no shame in an emotional outburst now and again. I find it helpful. Not that it happens very often, probably because it's no longer bottled."

And once the floodgates are open its impossible to hold it back again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I seem to be an awful lot more emotional recently than I have ever been but I shall blame aging hormones for that. I will allow myself to shed a tear more now than I used to, but I think I unhealthily held it all back previously so maybe a good thing.

If you held it back, then I'm sure letting it out now is a positive thing. There's no shame in an emotional outburst now and again. I find it helpful. Not that it happens very often, probably because it's no longer bottled.

And once the floodgates are open its impossible to hold it back again "

fancy a cuddle?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I seem to be an awful lot more emotional recently than I have ever been but I shall blame aging hormones for that. I will allow myself to shed a tear more now than I used to, but I think I unhealthily held it all back previously so maybe a good thing.

If you held it back, then I'm sure letting it out now is a positive thing. There's no shame in an emotional outburst now and again. I find it helpful. Not that it happens very often, probably because it's no longer bottled.

And once the floodgates are open its impossible to hold it back again "
They'll close back up when you're ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had to become harder...if I let my emotions rule of never stop crying with some of the people I've met just working.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had to become harder...if I let my emotions rule of never stop crying with some of the people I've met just working.

"

I can understand that. Some jobs need us to close down emotionally to be able to function.

Social work, caring, nursing, police, fire brigade, paramedics, councilling, psychiatry etc.

It helps to find a positive way of releasing them I find. Art, music, dancing.. something tgat requires a little meditation or escapism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Music for me and good company to wind down with after a hard shift.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always used to be emotional and pretty open with my feelings, but had a bad marriage where I had to continually hide my feelings and shut them down so now I’m still soft but very guarded with my emotions. X

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