FabSwingers.com forum: Know your enemy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Knowing your own flaws and being comfortable with them is a sign of confidence. Some are able to control those flaws, demons, issues - to a point they are strong enough to occasionally unleash the normally destructive trait into a Force for good.

I'd like to think I'm arriving at that stage in my life, but given my list, I've a fair bit of work to accomplish and my worst trait is procrastination!

I'm fucked!

What are your flaws? Are you managing them well? Have you been able to convert them into a superpower?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am really impatient x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have many but im adaptive thats helps me deal

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

My flaws are many. In recent years I discovered a naivety I didn’t believe I had. I’m really quite gullible but I hope now this is identified it can be overcome. I’m also a wonderful procrastinator however I work better to a deadline so it has its plus points.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking over people.

Always wanting to be right.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am really impatient x"

All the time? Or in certain circumstances?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have many but im adaptive thats helps me deal"

Me too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am really impatient x

All the time? Or in certain circumstances?"
All the time I am afraid x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a bit of OCD with things...1 day I will not go back down stairs to check things.

And road rage I have learnt to control it a little with my job but then you get some complete and utter morons on the rd who are plain ignorant...but I don't swear out loud as much when someones on-board

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My flaws are many. In recent years I discovered a naivety I didn’t believe I had. I’m really quite gullible but I hope now this is identified it can be overcome. I’m also a wonderful procrastinator however I work better to a deadline so it has its plus points. "

You may be able to turn that gullibility into a bullshit radar?

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

An ever decreasing tolerance for fuckwits and idiocy..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talking over people.

Always wanting to be right."

Lol.. my pet hate, but one I know I do as well

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Erectile issues

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"An ever decreasing tolerance for fuckwits and idiocy.."

Is that a flaw?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too polite and not forceful enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have many but im adaptive thats helps me deal

Me too lol"
nit that extreme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just try not to give a fuck! That helps in all flaws.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Erectile issues"

Awwww.. have you done much research?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm too polite and not forceful enough"

I don't think that's a flaw

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have many but im adaptive thats helps me deal

Me too lolnit that extreme

You don't know me and I don't know You, so we don't know if that's true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My faults are my faults.

I don’t care enough about them to worry though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm too polite and not forceful enough

I don't think that's a flaw

Thanks but I'm told that I ought to be as apparently I'm missing oit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm too polite and not forceful enough"

That a a good thing...rape is wrong!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm quite a stereotypical Type A sort - impatient, pedantic, competitive to name a few. I try and use my flaws to push myself to be better - so not outwardly competitive but more striving to change for better and succeed in more areas. It's good in work anyway! Impatient, well I find things to occupy my time while waiting.

I'm getting better at being less of a twunt so it must be working.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just try not to give a fuck! That helps in all flaws.

I find that masks it temporarily.. giving me a false sense of confidence (arrogance). Which only makes it harder to deal with in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have many but im adaptive thats helps me deal

Me too lolnit that extreme

You don't know me and I don't know You, so we don't know if that's true."
the fact i do not wear lady clothes is the difference i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im confused easily as im noticing more women are acting like men. or are they tv's.

see confusing isnt it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm too polite and not forceful enough

That a a good thing...rape is wrong!

Indeed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm too polite and not forceful enough

I don't think that's a flaw

Thanks but I'm told that I ought to be as apparently I'm missing oit"

You need to walk the fine line of doing no harm and standing your ground, chasing your desires. Both can be done politely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm quite a stereotypical Type A sort - impatient, pedantic, competitive to name a few. I try and use my flaws to push myself to be better - so not outwardly competitive but more striving to change for better and succeed in more areas. It's good in work anyway! Impatient, well I find things to occupy my time while waiting.

I'm getting better at being less of a twunt so it must be working."

You sound like a confident attractive woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a doormat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have many but im adaptive thats helps me deal

Me too lolnit that extreme

You don't know me and I don't know You, so we don't know if that's true.the fact i do not wear lady clothes is the difference i think"

Ummm.. (this is your brain Cixi - do not engage, I repeat, do not engage).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talking over people.

Always wanting to be right."

I am guilty of this I talk over people at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Procrastination. Rock bottom low self esteem. Paranoia. Constant anxiety about people I've only just met.

No I don't control it, it controls me

(One at a time please ladies)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a doormat.

I don't believe you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Procrastination. Rock bottom low self esteem. Paranoia. Constant anxiety about people I've only just met.

No I don't control it, it controls me

(One at a time please ladies)"

You're brave enough to admit it, that tells me you're more confident than many people I know. I've felt the sting of all those. Heart goes out to you, but if you know it, you can work on changing it slowly.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Erectile issues

Awwww.. have you done much research?"

Waiting for assistance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh, I doubt myself, often when I have no need to.

I'm generous to the point I pretty much have fuck all, and even then I'd give the fuck all I do have to those I care for, or I feel need it more than I do.

If someone hurts me, I fight with myself to get past it.

Having been in an abusive relationship in the past for a very long time, I sometimes struggle to know what I should forgive and what I shouldn't, or whether something really is as bad as it seems, or am I over compensating and trying to stop any major hurt before it happens.

Dunno if that will make any sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive none,,im perfect in every way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hmmm..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive none,,im perfect in every way

oh perhaps im too humble some times

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

I can’t stand supposed know it all , pc , left wing , liberal minded twunts either . No matter how hard I try , as soon as they come out of the woodwork I feel my mind close up and I have nothing but contempt for anything they say . I wonder sometimes if they realise they have this effect on people and do it deliberately , or whether they are oblivious to it .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhh, I doubt myself, often when I have no need to.

I'm generous to the point I pretty much have fuck all, and even then I'd give the fuck all I do have to those I care for, or I feel need it more than I do.

If someone hurts me, I fight with myself to get past it.

Dunno if that will make any sense

That makes lots of sense to me. I know abuse of the kind you describe. One of the hardest experiences to go through and still find confidence in yourself.

You have described the feeling perfectly. You know your enemy. Now you can defeat him x

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"ive none,,im perfect in every way

I absolutely love that avatar

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

That post screams lack of confidence to me. You're attacking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a doormat.

I don't believe you

That made me smile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle to let things go. I either like you or I dont, there's no inbetween x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhh, I doubt myself, often when I have no need to.

I'm generous to the point I pretty much have fuck all, and even then I'd give the fuck all I do have to those I care for, or I feel need it more than I do.

If someone hurts me, I fight with myself to get past it.

Dunno if that will make any sense

Makes sense to me. Do you have close friends you can ask about things and what they would do in that situation?

You seem much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive none,,im perfect in every way

I absolutely love that avatar

lol,,ty,x hope it makes folk laugh

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

I get irritated by the strangest things.

Like people who leave random full stops where they shouldn't be so I'm sat trying to wipe what I think is dirt off my phone screen when none's there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to let things go. I either like you or I dont, there's no inbetween x"

let things go? like what? points in conversation? People? Things?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhh, I doubt myself, often when I have no need to.

I'm generous to the point I pretty much have fuck all, and even then I'd give the fuck all I do have to those I care for, or I feel need it more than I do.

If someone hurts me, I fight with myself to get past it.

Dunno if that will make any sense

Makes sense to me. Do you have close friends you can ask about things and what they would do in that situation?

You seem much stronger than you give yourself credit for. "

I thought so too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

I get irritated by the strangest things.

Like people who leave random full stops where they shouldn't be so I'm sat trying to wipe what I think is dirt off my phone screen when none's there.

Is that a flaw? Or just having a moan or dig at someone else? Maybe that's your real flaw? Only you can answer.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

That post screams lack of confidence to me. You're attacking."

I’d love to say that makes sense , but it really doesn’t so I’ll leave it there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

That post screams lack of confidence to me. You're attacking.

I’d love to say that makes sense , but it really doesn’t so I’ll leave it there

It might make sense in time, if you let it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhh, I doubt myself, often when I have no need to.

I'm generous to the point I pretty much have fuck all, and even then I'd give the fuck all I do have to those I care for, or I feel need it more than I do.

If someone hurts me, I fight with myself to get past it.

Dunno if that will make any sense

That makes lots of sense to me. I know abuse of the kind you describe. One of the hardest experiences to go through and still find confidence in yourself.

You have described the feeling perfectly. You know your enemy. Now you can defeat him x"

It is difficult, because I sometimes can't work out if something is worth fighting for, or is it as a result of being so determined not to let that cloud hang over me that I'll fight so hard out of principle over the wrong things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm easily irritated

I find other people draining.

Not all the time - but there is a small window in my day that I like to spend with others - the rest I prefer to spend on my own.

I have to work so it doesn't often go in my favour

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhh, I doubt myself, often when I have no need to.

I'm generous to the point I pretty much have fuck all, and even then I'd give the fuck all I do have to those I care for, or I feel need it more than I do.

If someone hurts me, I fight with myself to get past it.

Dunno if that will make any sense

That makes lots of sense to me. I know abuse of the kind you describe. One of the hardest experiences to go through and still find confidence in yourself.

You have described the feeling perfectly. You know your enemy. Now you can defeat him x

That's normal x We all do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to let things go. I either like you or I dont, there's no inbetween x

let things go? like what? points in conversation? People? Things?

Grudges mainly lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm easily irritated

I find other people draining.

Not all the time - but there is a small window in my day that I like to spend with others - the rest I prefer to spend on my own.

I have to work so it doesn't often go in my favour

I don't think the other people being draining is your flaw. Many people are very draining. I find most to be hard work. If you're irritation is about them. It's not your flaw either lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I struggle to let things go. I either like you or I dont, there's no inbetween x

let things go? like what? points in conversation? People? Things?

Grudges mainly lol "

grudges yeah, come on then you and me in the octagon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I struggle to let things go. I either like you or I dont, there's no inbetween x

let things go? like what? points in conversation? People? Things?

Grudges mainly lol "

If you've been done a great disservice, then grudges are well deserved, so maybe this isn't your flaw lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grudges mainly lol

grudges yeah, come on then you and me in the octagon

Ooooh i love a good grapple lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm easily irritated

I find other people draining.

Not all the time - but there is a small window in my day that I like to spend with others - the rest I prefer to spend on my own.

I have to work so it doesn't often go in my favour

I don't think the other people being draining is your flaw. Many people are very draining. I find most to be hard work. If you're irritation is about them. It's not your flaw either lol"

But things are only irritating when you choose to react to them.

Other people seem excellent at being able to ignore things or don't even notice things that I find deeply irritating!

It's definitely a flaw - I want to be Zen

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm easily irritated

I find other people draining.

Not all the time - but there is a small window in my day that I like to spend with others - the rest I prefer to spend on my own.

I have to work so it doesn't often go in my favour

I don't think the other people being draining is your flaw. Many people are very draining. I find most to be hard work. If you're irritation is about them. It's not your flaw either lol

But things are only irritating when you choose to react to them.

Other people seem excellent at being able to ignore things or don't even notice things that I find deeply irritating!

It's definitely a flaw - I want to be Zen

Maybe you're further along the path to Zen than you realise. Maybe nobody spots what you see, because they aren't as aware of their surroundings and in others.. as you are.

You're different, that doesn't make it a flaw.

I think that as soon as you start thinking of this as an awareness in others... it'll stop irritating you so much. You may be an empath and highly tuned in to others feelings, thoughts or emotions. Many empaths find people very draining, they're also very good at helping people with emotional trauma as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Procrastination. Rock bottom low self esteem. Paranoia. Constant anxiety about people I've only just met.

No I don't control it, it controls me

(One at a time please ladies)

Also really lazy and zero motivation

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

I get irritated by the strangest things.

Like people who leave random full stops where they shouldn't be so I'm sat trying to wipe what I think is dirt off my phone screen when none's there.

Is that a flaw? Or just having a moan or dig at someone else? Maybe that's your real flaw? Only you can answer."

It was actually a joke - the post above (who I'm sure would see the funny side) had one and I actually sat there for a good couple of minutes trying to wipe it away.

But in all honesty? Yes - occasionally little things grip my shit. I doubt anyone could honestly say differently. We are all human after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

I get irritated by the strangest things.

Like people who leave random full stops where they shouldn't be so I'm sat trying to wipe what I think is dirt off my phone screen when none's there.

Is that a flaw? Or just having a moan or dig at someone else? Maybe that's your real flaw? Only you can answer.

It was actually a joke - the post above (who I'm sure would see the funny side) had one and I actually sat there for a good couple of minutes trying to wipe it away.

But in all honesty? Yes - occasionally little things grip my shit. I doubt anyone could honestly say differently. We are all human after all.

I've never gripped a log you've dropped in my life... take that back!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Procrastination. Rock bottom low self esteem. Paranoia. Constant anxiety about people I've only just met.

No I don't control it, it controls me

(One at a time please ladies)

Also really lazy and zero motivation "

Aren't they all signs of Depression and Anxiety? How long have you felt like this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see headlines , have a quick read and post in here my thoughts .

Then I read a bit more after hearing what others think , and often find I am changing my stance .

I get irritated by the strangest things.

Like people who leave random full stops where they shouldn't be so I'm sat trying to wipe what I think is dirt off my phone screen when none's there.

Is that a flaw? Or just having a moan or dig at someone else? Maybe that's your real flaw? Only you can answer.

It was actually a joke - the post above (who I'm sure would see the funny side) had one and I actually sat there for a good couple of minutes trying to wipe it away.

But in all honesty? Yes - occasionally little things grip my shit. I doubt anyone could honestly say differently. We are all human after all.

I kept looking at mine thinking, do I use too many? Paranoia

Wise words "We are all Human"

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west

I’m an adrenaline junkie with an addictive personality.

Has got me in a lot of trouble over the years. I’ve learnt to think before I act . As every action has a reaction!

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m an adrenaline junkie with an addictive personality.

Has got me in a lot of trouble over the years. I’ve learnt to think before I act . As every action has a reaction!

Miss "

You sound VERY confident Miss. Fully aware of your flaw, not only that, it seems you're able to channel it constructively. Wisdom from repetitive faliures is still wisdom.

I'm not sure being an adrenaline junky is a flaw. Skating, surfing, snowboarding, swinging, exhibitionism, acting, speaking in public, performing, competing are all positive forces in a life. Some can be life threatening extreme like big wave surfing or mountaineering. If risk assessed properly, can be life's most rewarding experiences. Even in failure and near death. I'd say that's a personality type.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean about the addictive personality as I think you made a slight error in typing and don't want to presume the wrong thing. I'm scared that I may have an addictive personality and coukd easily get hooked onto something bad for me, like smoking has gripped me

So, I've also tried to monitor myself and be strict. Incase I do go full mental and give smack a try.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

ignore error thing.. I'm tired and misread. I think I mean.. I'm not sure if my interpretation of addictive personality is same as yours. Even though I was joking about smack and mentioned smoking. I don't mean drugs related things really. Getting hooked on the excitement and endorphins of any activity that's enjoyable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

even if it's bad for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Procrastination. Rock bottom low self esteem. Paranoia. Constant anxiety about people I've only just met.

No I don't control it, it controls me

(One at a time please ladies)

Also really lazy and zero motivation

Aren't they all signs of Depression and Anxiety? How long have you felt like this?"

Yes they are, was diagnosed 4 years ago. Medicine doesn't work, having therapy at the moment. It's ok I'm not sure if it's helping yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Procrastination. Rock bottom low self esteem. Paranoia. Constant anxiety about people I've only just met.

No I don't control it, it controls me

(One at a time please ladies)

Also really lazy and zero motivation

Aren't they all signs of Depression and Anxiety? How long have you felt like this?

Yes they are, was diagnosed 4 years ago. Medicine doesn't work, having therapy at the moment. It's ok I'm not sure if it's helping yet"

Well.. I'm very sorry to hear that x At least you know, I know people who don't know, so can't even begin the journey back yet. I'd love to give you advice, but my friend is an expert in this and she advises me "Do no harm". I'm not qualified to help so I could hurt you by accident x For me, I find it helpful and very therapeutic to offload my thoughts into art. It's not very good art, I'd not even call it art, but other people say it is

Takes me away, like meditation a bit. A few hours free of negative emotions does wonders for the soul. Can give it the breathing space you may need to bounce back again. I wish you well xxxx

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