FabSwingers.com forum: How often do you get messaged by lurkers?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lurkers being the people who read the forums but don't necessarily participate.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Daily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 or 2 per week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a lurker!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least a couple of times a day. I forget that people take my (what I deem) plainly sarcastic replies seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regularly. most days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope lol.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Every so often,a few times today though.

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By *rownboy30Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 06/01/19 19:55:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every so often,a few times today though."

I've not messaged you for ages .. lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fascinating

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By *rownboy30Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Daily now, nice to see my inbox being used though. Shame it's not the messages I was after

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

And yet when I put a thread up for them they all hide...

It's enough to make me cry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fair bit. Entirely dependant on which kinky thread I have replied to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually on a face pic Friday thread or from the occasional sex related thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And yet when I put a thread up for them they all hide...

It's enough to make me cry"

They want to talk about sex in private

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By *ade and VanessaCouple
over a year ago

Central Scotland

The odd one or two. I generally assume most have commented too if it's been from a thread here but I've not noticed as there's so many

V x

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By *ookworm258Man
over a year ago

Wythenshawe

Never, an empty inbox is a tidy inbox

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Few times a week. Like a poster above, my posts are taken seriously at times.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Now and again. And from one particular message it has worked out very well indeed

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

A few a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everytime I post on the forums it seems.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

With a body like yours you would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot.. using a thread title seems to be a common line..

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By *d59michelleTV/TS
over a year ago

walsall

Ain't got no clue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got my first one today and if they’re all like that I want more

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

It varies depending on when I’ve posted on threads. I’ve noticed it especially if I do FPF though. Most of the time the message is nothing to do with the thread though.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Every so often,a few times today though.

I've not messaged you for ages .. lol xx

I don't believe you have,I'm shocking at replying anyway as you've gathered.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Very rarely , and usually they are bloody rude and the yellow bellied lurker has also blocked us so we can’t reply .

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By *allSteveMan
over a year ago

Poole

Not very often

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Tbh... From most threads I post on.

I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.

But when it's from someone who hasn't contributed, or someone I've ever spotted on here before, I find it quite cheeky, creepy & it just gets them an instant block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbh... From most threads I post on.

I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.

But when it's from someone who hasn't contributed, or someone I've ever spotted on here before, I find it quite cheeky, creepy & it just gets them an instant block "
just tried to wind u up but im too cheap to bypass your filters

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"Tbh... From most threads I post on.

I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.

But when it's from someone who hasn't contributed, or someone I've ever spotted on here before, I find it quite cheeky, creepy & it just gets them an instant block just tried to wind u up but im too cheap to bypass your filters

Urmmmm!?

It wouldn't wind me up

You're a regulate poster, I've met you.

It's total random strangers that send idiotic messages that do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not often but I notice them when I post on a thread about any preference x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbh... From most threads I post on.

I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.

Urmmmm!?

It wouldn't wind me up

You're a regulate poster, I've met you.

It's total random strangers that send idiotic messages that do that "
i was gonna pretend i was someone else maybe do a dutch accent

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most days but especially if I post in FPF or anything sex related.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not often

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

How do you know they are lurker's if they don't post in the forums ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite frequently. More frequently men responding to where I confess something bisexual. but also couples and women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you know they are lurker's if they don't post in the forums ?"

From what they refer to, the heading on a message or they mention the post directly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a bit of a lurker (sorry) but when I do post I do seem to hear from others like me

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"At least a couple of times a day. I forget that people take my (what I deem) plainly sarcastic replies seriously

Do they??? Shock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you know they are lurker's if they don't post in the forums ?"

They will have messaged from a thread and the title is the message header.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bloody lurkers eh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

I normally get sent boob pics by at least 2 lurkers every day.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

about 4 times a week and thats with a hidden profile

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Occasionally.

More frequent though are messages from those who have posed a question or sought advice in the forums.

Usually with content they could just as easily have asked in the same thread........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most days it's frustrating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be so much easier if I had an option to just ‘message all’ in the forum instead of lurking and messaging one by one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None yet. Can I message myself perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occasionally x

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Occasionally, especially some without a sense of humour.

I would rather them argue their point on here though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s weird why they don’t comment on the thread but feel the need to PM you directly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rarely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?"

Sadly the forum is and always has been full of a them and us mentality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never

Ticked the lurker box on filters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lurkers being the people who read the forums but don't necessarily participate."
Never.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Never. In fact I've only received one communication on here that I didn't initiate, and it was from some bloke trying to chat me up when my profile clearly states I'm not looking for that. I'd love it if more people did open up a conversation with me. I know my profile is a little light on photos but idk if I come across as boring or something...

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By *ross-eyed MaryMan
over a year ago

Salisbury

My last one said people like me should be put down like dogs. Probably best he doesn't post on the forums to be honest.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"It’s weird why they don’t comment on the thread but feel the need to PM you directly. "

I have asked a few times and have been told it’s because they just want to message me and tell me something about myself (I’m not going to say what) or let me know that they have whatever I said I prefered. Or they want me to send them a picture of my face without joining in the thread. There’s more chance of getting a message read if it’s come via a post on a thread.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?"

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never

Ticked the lurker box on filters "

Clever!

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By *urity555Man
over a year ago

south west

Never

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Surprisingly often - probably more often than people respond to me on the actual forum itself

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

"How do you know they are lurker's if they don't post in the forums ?

They will have messaged from a thread and the title is the message header."

not had that problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead."

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum. "

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead."

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

How would you know if they are lurkers?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention."

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario."

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several. "

Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.

Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win

Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.

It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?

I do not want to be messaged by single males, so I block them all. If I were being messaged privately after posting on the forum and I did not like it (I personally do not mind) I would just post less, or try and get used to the fact that the more I post, the more I’m going to be privately messaged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several. "

I don't understand because you started this saying the forums are dying on their ass and now you're saying people should post less so they don't get personal responses!!

It doesn't bother me if someone messages me as a result of something I've put on the forum as long as it is respectful and not abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.

I don't understand because you started this saying the forums are dying on their ass and now you're saying people should post less so they don't get personal responses!!

It doesn't bother me if someone messages me as a result of something I've put on the forum as long as it is respectful and not abusive.

I think you’ll find I did not say the forums are dying on their ass.

Someone called Hine did.

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By *anchester_gentMan
over a year ago

Manchester/ Cheshire border

"I am a lurker!

Feel free to lurk my way any time the mood takes you....!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.

Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win

Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.

It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?

Yes but if posting less is also making my fab experience worse I would rather block lurkers than post less.

Like I said I personally don't mind. But you're trying to make it sound like I'm advocating for them to not do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.

The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?

Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.

If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.

I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.

The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.

If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.

Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.

They can.

But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.

So it isn’t a prevention.

I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.

In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.

If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.

Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win

Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.

It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?

Yes but if posting less is also making my fab experience worse I would rather block lurkers than post less.

Like I said I personally don't mind. But you're trying to make it sound like I'm advocating for them to not do it."

I’m not trying to make it sound like anything, I’m simply posting my opinion as are you, It’s not wise to assume you know what I’m trying to say.

You are free to do as you please with your profile as is everyone else.

Personally if I didn’t like recieving private messages after posting on the forum, I’d either post less or tighten up my filters, because it isn't going to stop by blocking, unless it’s the same members doing it.