FabSwingers.com forum: Could you fall...

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I've been thinking recently after a thread about catfishing and it made me think of the TV programme.

All those people that fell for others online has made me think that there must be others that did the same; found love online.

Obviously many people have met through websites, but these people did it without meeting.

So rather circuitous I wondered if that was something that people thought that they could do. Do you think that you could fall for someone without meeting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes definitely. It can be easier to talk about really personal things via text than in person. When you meet in person you've already discussed any issues and still want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think can can fall for the idea of them. If the things they are saying are true etc.

With video calls etc then yes, I believe you can.

Until you meet in the flesh though, that's where it's confirmed.

My thoughts anyway.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I've been thinking recently after a thread about catfishing and it made me think of the TV programme.

All those people that fell for others online has made me think that there must be others that did the same; found love online.

Obviously many people have met through websites, but these people did it without meeting.

So rather circuitous I wondered if that was something that people thought that they could do. Do you think that you could fall for someone without meeting? "

Not without meeting. More than a week of contact without meeting and I've usually lost interest.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think can can fall for the idea of them. If the things they are saying are true etc.

With video calls etc then yes, I believe you can.

Until you meet in the flesh though, that's where it's confirmed.

My thoughts anyway.

I think that modern technology certainly facilitates the ability for it. It's possible to be chatting to someone from the point at which you wake until you sleep, that definitely would foster a close bond at least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to steve wrights sunday love songs..

Its full of dedications to and for people 'who fell in love online', then they met and eventually married..

So long as the person you are talking to is totally honest with you, and vice versa, then anything is possible

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

[Removed by poster at 05/01/19 15:02:31]

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Listen to steve wrights sunday love songs..

Its full of dedications to and for people 'who fell in love online', then they met and eventually married..

So long as the person you are talking to is totally honest with you, and vice versa, then anything is possible"

I agree, I think that on this forum many people are cynical (as is understandable with many fakes etc) but I think that if people are honest then it can/will occur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think can can fall for the idea of them. If the things they are saying are true etc.

With video calls etc then yes, I believe you can.

Until you meet in the flesh though, that's where it's confirmed.

My thoughts anyway.

I agree I think. It is definitely not a black and white subject, there is a lot of grey areas.

Love actually is not a physical thing, it requires no physical presence to manifest or grow. Then of course there is just the individual element, some people require more of less of something to make things be.

Eventually though I do think there needs to be a physical bond to just wrap it up as a whole package.

10 points if you can pick out the "thing" in my post - shouldn't be difficult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think can can fall for the idea of them. If the things they are saying are true etc.

With video calls etc then yes, I believe you can.

Until you meet in the flesh though, that's where it's confirmed.

My thoughts anyway.

I agree I think. It is definitely not a black and white subject, there is a lot of grey areas.

Eventually though I do think there needs to be a physical bond to just wrap it up as a whole package.

10 points if you can pick out the "thing" in my post - shouldn't be difficult

Love actually?

I admit I've never seen it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think can can fall for the idea of them. If the things they are saying are true etc.

With video calls etc then yes, I believe you can.

Until you meet in the flesh though, that's where it's confirmed.

My thoughts anyway.

I agree I think. It is definitely not a black and white subject, there is a lot of grey areas.

Eventually though I do think there needs to be a physical bond to just wrap it up as a whole package.

10 points if you can pick out the "thing" in my post - shouldn't be difficult

Love actually?

I admit I've never seen it

Don’t bother it’s crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think can can fall for the idea of them. If the things they are saying are true etc.

With video calls etc then yes, I believe you can.

Until you meet in the flesh though, that's where it's confirmed.

My thoughts anyway.

I agree I think. It is definitely not a black and white subject, there is a lot of grey areas.

Eventually though I do think there needs to be a physical bond to just wrap it up as a whole package.

10 points if you can pick out the "thing" in my post - shouldn't be difficult

Love actually?

I admit I've never seen it

Haha yes! It was an accident that I though I'd leave in for a Laugh.

I agree with Nora though it's highly overrated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think meeting online actually helps build a healthy relationship. The anonymity at first often allows people to speak more openly and honestly so before meeting both parties have a good idea of who the other is and whether their needs and wants will be met with them. That intimacy can be so intense that the need to be with them and share everything becomes all-consuming until meeting in person and everything just fits into place and feels right.

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By *helucifereffectMan
over a year ago

york

"I think meeting online actually helps build a healthy relationship. The anonymity at first often allows people to speak more openly and honestly so before meeting both parties have a good idea of who the other is and whether their needs and wants will be met with them. That intimacy can be so intense that the need to be with them and share everything becomes all-consuming until meeting in person and everything just fits into place and feels right.

Seems like fife is the place to be right now xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with you.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I've been thinking recently after a thread about catfishing and it made me think of the TV programme.

All those people that fell for others online has made me think that there must be others that did the same; found love online.

Obviously many people have met through websites, but these people did it without meeting.

So rather circuitous I wondered if that was something that people thought that they could do. Do you think that you could fall for someone without meeting? "

Almost certainly not xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

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By *elleRoseCouple
over a year ago

Malvern

I fell for my king while chatting online while playing an online mmo trust me it happens !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a friend that fell for a lady the other side of the world. And now they have met they are amazing together so I believe it can happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember when I was in uni and had a Japanese pen friend, we spoke on the phone and wrote to each other for over 2 years and I felt in love. We met once when he came to the U.K. and we still write to each other now as friends. He was and is still the sweetest guy I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didnt use to think so but iv seen too much evidence to disbilieve it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also met my hubby on fab. I messed him about for about 6 months before I met him and it was worth it. I think we got to know each other so well via fab, Skype and the phone and it wasn’t sexual. Just talked about our day etc and it developed like that. He became a very good friend, then my best friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only have to look how technology has changed things.

People form relationships with prisoner's and what use to be letters and random visits now you can contact them via WhatsApp all the time and make video calls.

It's made it easier to meet people for sure, not all desirable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I also met my hubby on fab. I messed him about for about 6 months before I met him and it was worth it. I think we got to know each other so well via fab, Skype and the phone and it wasn’t sexual. Just talked about our day etc and it developed like that. He became a very good friend, then my best friend. "

Proof right there. It may not be common, and it may seem strange to some but no doubt it can and does happen.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

He must be a patient man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise. "

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He must be a patient man."

He was, he was still having meets as we hadn’t met but he thought I was worth it and I think I proved I was when he asked me to marry him 12 months later.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

It was possible before but not now. My defences are solid. I won’t let anyone get under my skin until I know them well. It hurts too much when you realise it was built on untruths. My defences may scare them away but it’s a risk I’ll take. I don’t engage in any messages that go beyond superficial with people I haven’t met.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

"
Some just want the attention though it seems. Take it away and see if they really are interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

Some just want the attention though it seems. Take it away and see if they really are interested."

I have to agree in part with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

Some just want the attention though it seems. Take it away and see if they really are interested."

I do agree with you there and the genuine ones will stay with you if they are interested. It’s not all hearts and chocolate.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"It was possible before but not now. My defences are solid. I won’t let anyone get under my skin until I know them well. It hurts too much when you realise it was built on untruths. My defences may scare them away but it’s a risk I’ll take. I don’t engage in any messages that go beyond superficial with people I haven’t met."

I must admit that I thought that this was going to be the tone of most of the replies on here. Many are very guarded and cynical regarding others (no judgement, I'm sure people have their reasons)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

Some just want the attention though it seems. Take it away and see if they really are interested."

Do you mean the ones that don't want to meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After 10 years on Second Life, I've built friendships with people I've only ever had text conversations with - but I still consider them valid friends.

(Did eventually meet up with two of them, in person. Both turned out to be as trustworthy and likeable in RealLife, as they were in the virtual world).

There's no way I would contemplate a virtual romantic relationship, though

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

Some just want the attention though it seems. Take it away and see if they really are interested.

Do you mean the ones that don't want to meet?

"
Yeah or if they flake.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone interested in this concept, try a film called HER, it’s a real thing and very interesting with the way humans now socialise.

I loved that film

Online, telephone, text etc .. "relationships" with people you have never met are more common than I thought.

People don't go out anymore - or they're more inclined to stay in. They don't feel as alone before the internet made it possible to connect with people inside your own home - without leaving it.

Some just want the attention though it seems. Take it away and see if they really are interested.

Do you mean the ones that don't want to meet?

Yeah or if they flake."

Ahh - yes well on sites like this it's a given!

I meant for people that use the internet

to interact with others instead of going out.

Not giving the impression that they're going to meet anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think it’s completely possible - because at the end of the day it’s someone’s personality that makes you stay, looks are just the superficial start of it

Plus like everyone has said in today’s age of technology there are so many options available that you can feel like you have already met - videos chats / pictures / phone calls etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes but I'd always try and retain a healthy dose of realism - the person I feel I have this chemistry with? That might not be there in person. What if you never meet etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

I get this but for me to be able to meet in such a short timescale isn’t physically possible with the way my life is

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

"
It's hardwork trying to do that on here. Women are much more open to meet sooner on other sites and apps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

I get this but for me to be able to meet in such a short timescale isn’t physically possible with the way my life is "

I understand, it’s not for everyone.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

It's hardwork trying to do that on here. Women are much more open to meet sooner on other sites and apps. "

Very true..... but I’m a little different than most men on here....

Having great sex is my first priority.... building a friendship is secondary...

If the sexual chemistry isn’t there , then no friendship can develop....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met online, and spent a month chatting everyday before meeting. We've been together now for nearly 19 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd think I could. It is certainly possible to know someone inside out through messaging alone and I can fall for the written personality that shows through on messages yes. I think for proper love you need to meet and know all about the physical them aswell though for it to be a whole thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I could fall for an online persona; even if they were speaking truthfully and not telling me what they thought I wanted to hear.

I have to be able to stand being physically around them to want to actually be with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

It's hardwork trying to do that on here. Women are much more open to meet sooner on other sites and apps.

Very true..... but I’m a little different than most men on here....

Having great sex is my first priority.... building a friendship is secondary...

If the sexual chemistry isn’t there , then no friendship can develop...."

I would be the same. No matter how much I liked someome, if there was so sexual chemistry and compatibility, it wouldn't work.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'd have to meet them...I fall quite easily for the right miss right...but I would hope that the feeling would be mutual

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By *entish79Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I definitely agree with the part about anonymity. With Fab, which has the initial anonymity plus the sexual nature of the site as a context, has led to some very open conversations about sex, both via text and in person with people I’ve met. Which always seems very liberating and quite healthy.

I absolutely believe that much can build a solid foundation which could only ever benefit a relationship. Maybe it’s just my experience, but sex can sometimes be a difficult subject for couples to discuss even when they’ve been together a long time. Possibly because there wasn’t that initial openness at the start of the relationship.

As for falling for someone online, I’d go along with what people have said about it certainly being possible to fall for the idea of the person. Ultimately it likely would probably take a face to face meeting to cement those feelings though.

I’m in a sort of similar position to the poster above who mentioned chatting to someone on here for months before meeting, in that one of my best Fab pals is someone I’ve been chatting to since around May, but not met yet. There aren’t feelings or anything there, and we’re definitely just good pals rather than anything else, but it’ll be great to finally meet after chatting for this long.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think I'd think I could. It is certainly possible to know someone inside out through messaging alone and I can fall for the written personality that shows through on messages yes. I think for proper love you need to meet and know all about the physical them aswell though for it to be a whole thing. "

Yes, I agree that for the whole thing there has to be that physical connection too, but I think that the mental and emotional connection can come from chatting online

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Emotions in a vacuum without physical contact?

Physical contact without emotions?

Perhaps both are only half of anything. And if it's only half if something how would anyone ever know until they out the two halves together?

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Emotions in a vacuum without physical contact?

Physical contact without emotions?

Perhaps both are only half of anything. And if it's only half if something how would anyone ever know until they out the two halves together?"

Is it a vacuum?

I see what you're saying though, it's the same as many have said; until you add the physical ingredient it's not a complete recipe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

We started chatting in an online chat room. 17 years ago. Then emails, texts and phone calls that became the most exciting phone sex. It was two years before I actually met him. I had definitely fallen.

I took a huge risk going to meet him. Travelled half way across the country on a whim. Trying to make the fantasy a reality i guess. I'm glad i did it though.

He opened my eyes to so many things. He broke my heart a few times along the way too. We still speak now and despite us both knowing we can't be happy ever after, theres stlll love there and a friendship that we both cherish.

It has been quite an adventure over all the years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Emotions in a vacuum without physical contact?

Physical contact without emotions?

Perhaps both are only half of anything. And if it's only half if something how would anyone ever know until they out the two halves together?

Is it a vacuum?

I see what you're saying though, it's the same as many have said; until you add the physical ingredient it's not a complete recipe "

Maybe vacuum is the wrong word. But through a glass wall or two, yes you can get a sense of another, but it will always be incomplete.

We don't live in a virtual world. It's the real world where real connections are fully made and where the limitations of online "relationships" become, hopefully, something more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do believe this can happen if you give it time...

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that some people like to delay meeting to gain your confidence, for nefarious reasons...

So now when I chat to someone I try to meet within 3-5 days... I keep everything online vague until I meet them in person... then I can get a feel of if I’m attracted to them....

Me too, but my time limit is a bit longer. Meet within 2 weeks.

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