FabSwingers.com forum: Psychopath

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are you, or do you believe you have encountered a psychopath in the swinging scene? (No disrespect towards those who are diagnosed). I'm just interested in how prevalent psychopathy is amongst swingers.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

No, thank goodness, though aren't most of them pretty well concealed anyway??

Narcissists and Histrionics abound mind you lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half the people in the fox hunting thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have known sociopaths in the vanilla world and one from here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve met more at work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've encountered a complete narcissist but I think they are probably too self absorbed to get dangerous.

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By *ana_nana_MATTMAN!Man
over a year ago

Haywood Village, Weston-super-Mare

I doubt there's any way to know for certain how prevalent, but given the characteristics of psychopaths I'd have to assume they are more prevalent in the swinging scene than in the general population.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No, thank goodness, though aren't most of them pretty well concealed anyway??

Narcissists and Histrionics abound mind you lol!

Yes, they are very well concealed and most people have absolutely no clue that they know or have encountered psychopaths. I'm interested in seeing if there are folk who believe they have or know that they have.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Impossible to say as a lay person. The term gets bandied about too much.

What would be interesting to me is how as a community we react to problematic people in our midst. I read a blog post years ago about the "missing stair" phenomenon, where some communities allow problematic people to remain and prey on new people. I can't see that Fab can prevent them, but hopefully things are done more locally (in clubs, between friends).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/01/19 19:34:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have from here and normal life.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Are you, or do you believe you have encountered a psychopath in the swinging scene? (No disrespect towards those who are diagnosed). I'm just interested in how prevalent psychopathy is amongst swingers. "

I have encountered an induvidual with an untreated mental illness, not from this site I might add.

It was very scary, the individual focussed on me in a very bad way, so bad that I threatened to go to the Police which finally stopped the behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

In over eight years of swinging , clubs , parties , dogging , house visits and every possible way of meeting we have never once met a psychopath .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of."

There's a great psychoanalysis from the 90s where they descovered that free market economists displayed a psychopathy only really akin to serial killers.

They are both convinced their right and morals are wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've definitely come across some disturbing and problematic people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

There's a great psychoanalysis from the 90s where they descovered that free market economists displayed a psychopathy only really akin to serial killers.

They are both convinced their right and morals are wrong."

I did a quick Google before I posted in case I dreamed it and it wasn't a 'fact' after all.

Some really interesting articles.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of."

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

i had a reallife friend who was a pscopath. Didnt know till he murdered his parents

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had a real life friend who was a psychopath. Didnt know till he murdered his parents"

I knew one who murdered his own mum and chopped up her remains. Called him a psycho long before but didn't realise he was diagnosably so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth."

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little excentric maybe

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

I suspect narcissism exists on a spectrum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

There are narcissistic traits that people can possess along a spectrum without having the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). But the disorder is on a separate spectrum of its own. The online dating and swinging scene is like a hive for the cluster B personality disorders. I just want to repeat that I didn't begin this thread to bash anyone with mental health challenges. Even psychopaths are not necessarily criminals or pernicious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

I suspect narcissism exists on a spectrum. "

That made me feel really sick.

I think I was hoping deep down that I was wrong about them. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

These are people I know in real life.

I'm not bashing them either. Sorry if it seemed that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Half the people in the fox hunting thread."

I seen a post on twitter saying if it was young chavs on motorbikes killing foxes with pitbulls it would be banned immediately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bit of a daft question really unless its amied at the mental heath branch of swinging most of us would not know or know what to look for ?? anyone can be deemed mentally unwell just a drink will do that to some .....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

These are people I know in real life.

I'm not bashing them either. Sorry if it seemed that way. "

No no you didn't seem to be doing that at all, I was just speaking for myself.

Yeah, the disorder is quite a different creature from the general population who possesses varying degrees of narcissistic traits. There are also different types of narcissists as someone commented above. All psychopaths are default narcissists by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread...

I have met a few on fab with psychopathic traits but wouldn't describe them having full blown psychopathy.

Psychopaths aren't all murderers, and murderers aren't all psychopaths.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be interested to know how safe and accurate a diagnosis of being a psychopath actually is?

Surely they wouldn’t beleive there was anything wrong with them and that they are just better? So why go to a doctor?

I was diagnosed incorrectly with sociopathic personality disorder but that was only after I was getting treatment for something else.

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

...Plenty of narcissists on here...

...Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

I suspect narcissism exists on a spectrum. "

Yeah. This. Also, normal people very often have one or more narcissistic traits without having the full on disorder.

Full Narcissistic disorder is probably better known as empathy deficit disorder .

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I've known some people (not on fab) that could be sociopaths however I'm not in any position to diagnose them so it's just a thought and belief.

There can be and are places where those personality types are 'useful' however, untreated and undiagnosed it can be a worrying thing to discover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Half the people in the fox hunting thread.

I seen a post on twitter saying if it was young chavs on motorbikes killing foxes with pitbulls it would be banned immediately "

Bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d be interested to know how safe and accurate a diagnosis of being a psychopath actually is?

Surely they wouldn’t beleive there was anything wrong with them and that they are just better? So why go to a doctor?

I was diagnosed incorrectly with sociopathic personality disorder but that was only after I was getting treatment for something else.

Most are diagnosed because they have come to the attention of the criminal justice system or through psychiatry as there behaviours are extreme. Most law abiding psychopaths will never be diagnosed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say psychopath but clearly has issues!

Some one lying about having terminal cancer...turns out she had her gallbladder removed. No cancer in sight.

Such a sick thing to lie about. Totally disgusts me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've known some people (not on fab) that could be sociopaths however I'm not in any position to diagnose them so it's just a thought and belief.

There can be and are places where those personality types are 'useful' however, untreated and undiagnosed it can be a worrying thing to discover "

There was a documentary years ago where they showed the simalarities in actual brain function and the lack of stimulation in some parts of the brain when exposed to footage of a violent or disturbing nature.

They compared a cross section of violent and serious offenders (not all high risk high reward crimes involve violence) decorated police, military, fire and paramedics. There were a lot of them that needed a massive amount of external stimulation to show and brain function changes.

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By *ky19Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

...Plenty of narcissists on here...

...Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

I suspect narcissism exists on a spectrum.

Yeah. This. Also, normal people very often have one or more narcissistic traits without having the full on disorder.

Full Narcissistic disorder is probably better known as empathy deficit disorder ."

Oh sorry I think this has basically already been said.

Narcissitic Personality Disorder is something close to me as 3 years ago I realised I had developed some strong traits. It was so crushing and a soul searching time but I managed to work on it. I don't know where I stand now because I got too run down and only have enough energy to focus on surviving right now.

And being a previously empathetic person with no concept of how to protect myself, I've also experienced my fair share of completely mad narcissists. They really do cost you dearly.

I can spot the signs much better now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

Can I ask what constitutes a disorder vs tendancies? You seem to know your stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

has to be said, there’s a fair few bat shit crazies on this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

There's a great psychoanalysis from the 90s where they descovered that free market economists displayed a psychopathy only really akin to serial killers.

They are both convinced their right and morals are wrong."

Any links?

Economists might be boring but not psycho by default?

Btw, the alternative to free markets is the bleak bleakness of the USSR. With no competitive forces they had virtually no goods or services in many parts.

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By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands

The thing is youd never probably know. Not all pshycopaths are dangerous and violent. They are just totally incapable of showing or feeling any guilt remorse or empathy towards others but that doesnt mean theyre going to go round stabbing everyone they meet

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By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands

And apparently 1 in 100 people are psycopaths so probably will be a few on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And apparently 1 in 100 people are psycopaths so probably will be a few on here"

The upper echelons of most big organisations are filled with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Psychopaths make great CEO's. Lots of professional people on here so bound to be some.

Never met one that I know of.

Jon Ronson's book the Psychopath Test makes interesting reading.

Plenty of narcissists on here, having encountered a couple of these in the real world I can spot them on here (some of the forum posts are textbook narc) and give them a very very wide berth.

Is there any such thing as a partial narcissist? I know a couple of people that seem very much that way but not entirely.

Unless they're very good at hiding it and I'm crap at fully spotting it.

Can I ask what constitutes a disorder vs tendancies? You seem to know your stuff. "

I beleive to be considered to have the disorder you need to fit a set of criteria.

If you only display a couple of the symptoms it’s tebdancies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ironically I think I'm dealing with one right now! Not from here but via another site.

Met a couple in Glasgow last min a couple of months ago when I was travelling with work via a different site. They seemed lovely and normal but as soon as I declined a second meet the male half has gone mental!

I've been getting anonymous late night breathing calls and abusive text messages. He's also threatened to call my work and tell them what I've been up to if I don't meet them again (I stupidly told them where I worked but they didn't know my surname).

When I ignored this and blocked his number he started doing it again on a new number. This time telling me about him having rough sex with his wife thinking about me, putting his hands around her neck and choking etc. At this point I threatened to go to the police to which he done a complete 360 and started to apologise and saying that he's depressed and wants to kill himself. But at the same time implying that it'd be my fault

I've stood my ground and called his bluff and once again blocked his new number. The texts have stopped but he's now found me on LinkedIn and has sent a friend request.. Obviously his way of saying I know who you are! It's really stressing me out and making me paranoid about everything and everyone.

I don't have the Mrs' number but I'm pretty sure she has ZERO idea what he's doing. He's deleted his profile on the other site so other than their first names and a mobile no I don't know who he is to be able to report him. I'm sure the police would be able to trace the mob no but I also feel mortified going to the police to say 'hey I met strangers for sex and now the guy is harassing me for more'. I know it's more serious than that but there's so much victim shaming these days I'm scared to tell anyone and I don't know what to do

Police. Malicious communications is an offence. As is threatening behaviour and trying to obtain goods or services via threatening behaviour.

It’s amazing how many people get all stalky and tough until a couple of uniformed coppers visit them to give ‘advice’

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

"Half the people in the fox hunting thread."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Half the people in the fox hunting thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never met one.... but beware anyone who has 'professional' in their profile... Apparently it's rife in people in a position of power

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks Danger. Thought I lost my post but reposted it in the support forum anyway as didn't want to hijack this one. I will research those things you mention and maybe use it to put him off x

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"And apparently 1 in 100 people are psycopaths so probably will be a few on here

The upper echelons of most big organisations are filled with them.

Very true, high functioning sociopaths and psychopaths are (in the most part) productive and valued members of society. I wouldn't fancy a meet with one though!

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

I've ran pubs in Liverpool, so I've met plenty of sociopaths and psychopaths....some scary people out there

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I wouldn't say psychopath but clearly has issues!

Some one lying about having terminal cancer...turns out she had her gallbladder removed. No cancer in sight.

Such a sick thing to lie about. Totally disgusts me."

Come to think of it I was speaking to someone who fabricated the death of his best friend in a motorbike accident the week before we were going to meet in great detail..... not quite sure what he was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well reading the below, then yes one person springs straight to mind, luckily I only gave him a year of my life, but the second half of that year was hell.

The twenty traits on the Hare Psychopathy checklist are:

pathological lying

glib and superficial charm

grandiose sense of self

need for stimulation

cunning and manipulative

lack of remorse or guilt

shallow emotional response

callousness and lack of empathy

parasitic lifestyle

poor behavioral controls

sexual promiscuity

early behavior problems

lack of realistic long-term goals

impulsivity

irresponsibility

failure to accept responsibility

many short-term relationships

juvenile delinquency

revocation of conditional release

criminal versatility

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well reading the below, then yes one person springs straight to mind, luckily I only gave him a year of my life, but the second half of that year was hell.

The twenty traits on the Hare Psychopathy checklist are:

pathological lying

glib and superficial charm

grandiose sense of self

need for stimulation

cunning and manipulative

lack of remorse or guilt

shallow emotional response

callousness and lack of empathy

parasitic lifestyle

poor behavioral controls

sexual promiscuity

early behavior problems

lack of realistic long-term goals

impulsivity

irresponsibility

failure to accept responsibility

many short-term relationships

juvenile delinquency

revocation of conditional release

criminal versatility"
thats me fucked then arrest me now

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

If you know anyone with zero degrees of empathy, chances are they have psychopathic tendancies

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Well reading the below, then yes one person springs straight to mind, luckily I only gave him a year of my life, but the second half of that year was hell.

The twenty traits on the Hare Psychopathy checklist are:

pathological lying

glib and superficial charm

grandiose sense of self

need for stimulation

cunning and manipulative

lack of remorse or guilt

shallow emotional response

callousness and lack of empathy

parasitic lifestyle

poor behavioral controls

sexual promiscuity

early behavior problems

lack of realistic long-term goals

impulsivity

irresponsibility

failure to accept responsibility

many short-term relationships

juvenile delinquency

revocation of conditional release

criminal versatilitythats me fucked then arrest me now"

I was just thinking exactly that!

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By *eetmyfootTV/TS
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I received yesterday a message from someone who claimed to be a professional psychologist and works in London city. Out of excessive arrogance and an obvious narcissism, he claimed that people like me don't exist (the foot aspect) and he knows this because he is a "professional".

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By *eetmyfootTV/TS
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I don't think that they are not so dangerous. At least when they send you a message just to show how superior they are.

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By *eetmyfootTV/TS
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

"And apparently 1 in 100 people are psycopaths so probably will be a few on here"

I think in Mediterranean countries the percentage is much higher.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Half the people in the fox hunting thread."

Seriously? Then you do not understand what a psychopath is then.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

No but a few narcissists

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

many years ago i used to be on a big international site (awc) if you remember it. Anyway one of the scams on there was for guys to "pick" who they thought where vulnerable women and tell them their partner and daughter had been killed in a car crash. I had it tried on me a couple of times and practically word for word they where saying the same thing

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

in fact that whole site was full of weirdos

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"in fact that whole site was full of weirdos"
I’m not weird. I’m perfectly normal thank you

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"in fact that whole site was full of weirdos I’m not weird. I’m perfectly normal thank you "
quirky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been called one but I don’t believe I am one. I’d never physically hurt someone, I can’t even slice chicken breast let alone human flesh.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve been called one but I don’t believe I am one. I’d never physically hurt someone, I can’t even slice chicken breast let alone human flesh. "

Was it as a joke or insult; or was it a genuine evaluation however inaccurate? I'm curious about the circumstances.

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