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Depression and Mans Mental Health

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By *ir_anthony OP   Man
over a year ago

kenilworth

I’m hoping by speaking out publicly about my experiences that somehow it will help someone else out there and let them know they’re not alone

I’ve been swinging since 2000 met 100s of fantastic people along the way

Sometimes I swing alone and sometimes I’ve been lucky enough to have a partner who swings

My partner at the moment is a fantastic person and enjoys the scene fully lol

When I started swinging I was 25 reasonably fit had no problem with sex and sex drive

But now I’m nearly 44 (not old I hear you say)

But in the last few years I’ve had 4 heart attacks and quadruple bypass surgery

Subsequently I’ve gain 3 stone due to meds and a few inactive months I can’t seem to lose any weight

Again possibly due to medication I now suffer from “shy dick” the inability to keep it up at crucial times

I look around at some of the wonderful people at clubs and catch myself in a mirror or a reflection and realise the difference between who I was and who I am now

And I get chronic depression and embarrassment when this happens

And I do still enjoy watching my partner play

And enjoy the club atmosphere

But I do get chronic depression sometimes so bad that we can’t actually get to a club

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Very brave of you to confront your demons and post on here x

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"I’m hoping by speaking out publicly about my experiences that somehow it will help someone else out there and let them know they’re not alone

I’ve been swinging since 2000 met 100s of fantastic people along the way

Sometimes I swing alone and sometimes I’ve been lucky enough to have a partner who swings

My partner at the moment is a fantastic person and enjoys the scene fully lol

When I started swinging I was 25 reasonably fit had no problem with sex and sex drive

But now I’m nearly 44 (not old I hear you say)

But in the last few years I’ve had 4 heart attacks and quadruple bypass surgery

Subsequently I’ve gain 3 stone due to meds and a few inactive months I can’t seem to lose any weight

Again possibly due to medication I now suffer from “shy dick” the inability to keep it up at crucial times

I look around at some of the wonderful people at clubs and catch myself in a mirror or a reflection and realise the difference between who I was and who I am now

And I get chronic depression and embarrassment when this happens

And I do still enjoy watching my partner play

And enjoy the club atmosphere

But I do get chronic depression sometimes so bad that we can’t actually get to a club

"

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Men’s mental health and health in general needs to be spoken about more.

My friend has gone through some terrible times over the last couple of years and has recently had a revolutionary treatment that touch wood has improved his life. Speak to your doc dude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about your physical and mental health problems OP, but well done for speaking up. Mental health has been such a taboo, it’s important that as many people as possible are open about their struggles to try and bring it out into the open. I hope 2019 brings easier times for you

Mrs F x

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

I’m with you op 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s only the man himself who would be bothered if not erect. No other men be bothered and if you enjoy watching anyway...with or without erection, it’s all good.

Also, I have had stress/depression.....I’m better now (mostly, still happens now and again but nowhere near as often) so hopefully you can take something from the fact it doesn’t have to last forever.

Last thing, I’ve lost 40 pounds in weight 2018....,if you need any tips? And I’m 55 years old. So that also can get done!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had anxiety in the past. I'm ok now but when it was bad it was bad. On Sertraline and it helps. Cbt was great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it’s only the man himself who would be bothered if not erect. No other men be bothered and if you enjoy watching anyway...with or without erection, it’s all good.

Also, I have had stress/depression.....I’m better now (mostly, still happens now and again but nowhere near as often) so hopefully you can take something from the fact it doesn’t have to last forever.

Last thing, I’ve lost 40 pounds in weight 2018....,if you need any tips? And I’m 55 years old. So that also can get done!"

Sorry I didn’t pount out I’m the man half

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Gosh you've been through a lot haven't you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully some of the many friends in the swinging scene you have met are still around and can support you and make you realise that it's not only looks why people liked you and befriend you. I'm sure there are s help of a lot of members on here that suffer from some form of mental illness. It's certainly not the taboo subject it was in the past and rightly so. However it is still brave of you to bear your soul on here and j wish you all the best and good health and fun in the coming year and for many to come

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully at your age, it will be a passing glitch but I can sympathise with your predicament, OP.

When I met my wife, I was 26, young, fit, healthy, active, athletic and horny.

During our 26 year relationship, I never had a problem with erections or libido.

Then she died and everything changed. Sex drive disappeared overnight and I've had trouble achieving or maintaining a stiffy, ever since.

Suffered years of depression, getting over her - put on 3 stone and was eventually diagnosed with type2 diabetes.

Told I had to change diet and lifestyle, or expect complications.

Joined Slimming World in September and lost 18lb so far. On track for achieving target weight, in the next couple of months. After years of unsuccessful dieting, can finally get back into some of my favourite clothes again.

Making friends and forcing myself to get out more, has certainly helped with the depression - I'm in helluva lot better place now, than 18 months ago but the erectile problems have persisted.

Every time I've had an opportunity to get my willy wet, the little bugger has let me down.

Thankfully, the ladies were all patient and understanding but tbh, it is killing my confidence.

I really want to start dating properly again (not looking on fab) but even though there are ladies I'd love to ask out, I know it is pointless, because at some point, I know the ED will become an issue.

It goes without saying, that I don't even bother seeking Fab meets any more, when a dependable boner is out of the question.

I know there's more to me, than a penis, so I stick to harmless socials (I've never been about wanting a quick fuck, anyway).

I know what you mean about the mirrors, though... there are times when I'm out during the evening, having a good time - then I'll catch sight of myself in a mirror and think "urgh - what was I thinking?".

You aren't alone, OP - hope you manage to find help. Good luck

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Well done on having the bravery and courage to speak out OP.

Mental health is still a huge taboo in society and I would say especially on here, where people are expected to portray a happy demeanour to attract meets.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks


"Hopefully at your age, it will be a passing glitch but I can sympathise with your predicament, OP.

When I met my wife, I was 26, young, fit, healthy, active, athletic and horny.

During our 26 year relationship, I never had a problem with erections or libido.

Then she died and everything changed. Sex drive disappeared overnight and I've had trouble achieving or maintaining a stiffy, ever since.

Suffered years of depression, getting over her - put on 3 stone and was eventually diagnosed with type2 diabetes.

Told I had to change diet and lifestyle, or expect complications.

Joined Slimming World in September and lost 18lb so far. On track for achieving target weight, in the next couple of months. After years of unsuccessful dieting, can finally get back into some of my favourite clothes again.

Making friends and forcing myself to get out more, has certainly helped with the depression - I'm in helluva lot better place now, than 18 months ago but the erectile problems have persisted.

Every time I've had an opportunity to get my willy wet, the little bugger has let me down.

Thankfully, the ladies were all patient and understanding but tbh, it is killing my confidence.

I really want to start dating properly again (not looking on fab) but even though there are ladies I'd love to ask out, I know it is pointless, because at some point, I know the ED will become an issue.

It goes without saying, that I don't even bother seeking Fab meets any more, when a dependable boner is out of the question.

I know there's more to me, than a penis, so I stick to harmless socials (I've never been about wanting a quick fuck, anyway).

I know what you mean about the mirrors, though... there are times when I'm out during the evening, having a good time - then I'll catch sight of myself in a mirror and think "urgh - what was I thinking?".

You aren't alone, OP - hope you manage to find help. Good luck"

Brave post. Nothing but respect for sharing it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Well done on having the bravery and courage to speak out OP.

Mental health is still a huge taboo in society and I would say especially on here, where people are expected to portray a happy demeanour to attract meets.

"

What he said. So much.

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By *ir_anthony OP   Man
over a year ago

kenilworth

Wow thank you

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Wow thank you "

Absolute kudos to you sir .

For speaking out as you have .

You’ve been through so much , and come out of the other side . Always remember that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger .

I had a heart attack a year ago , stents and so on m masses of meds and I retired from work . I get depressed sometimes too and we stopped swinging as a result of all that .

But reading your op gives me hope that things will get better , and I hope you also find it within yourself to get back to enjoying a happy sex life again .

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