FabSwingers.com forum: Polite no thanks or ignore ??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’ve seen many threads and updates on here from men women and couples complaining their messages go ignored

My question is though is it less hassle to ignore or send a polite no thank you ??

I believe my profile is clear about me and my likes so have always taken the time to send a reply if someone has bothered to message me ( even just a cock pic or simple hi ) hey if that man is that proud of his cock who am I to criticise ?!?!?

It’s seems lately my polite thanks but no thanks approach is causing offence and creating a barrage of further emails that although I can rise above and ignore / block could really do without !!

I’m certainly not offended if I get a no thanks and appreciate the gesture of the reply

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

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By *he witch returnsWoman
over a year ago

somewhere over the rainbow in SW Devon

I have where possible replied by either " np thsnks or not looking at the moment".

Most times I get a polite thank you back, other times abusive message in return.

Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say ignore. I seen a post the other day from a guy saying he keeps pushing and asking 'why' in order to 'improve'.

If I was a woman on here receiving thousands of scattergun messages a week I'd simply delete. If they reply again, block.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Do what works for you. For many, it's delete without reply means no thank you.

I want to spend the mental bandwidth I have for messages on people who are worth messaging, not dealing with idiots. (not saying that any one person or any demographic is an idiot) Some great people I've found struggle on here, and I want to find those hidden gems. I see it as win-win for the decent people who put in the effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore.. to much hassle saying sorry not for me. Most guys are ok but you get some who cant take rejection and turn nasty so now i just ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send a polite reply and don't find it hassle at all.

If I've left my filters open and have a back log of messages to reply to I close them, to deal with my inbox.

No hassle at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always like getting the occasional a no thanks not for me, I don’t think it’s hard to understand you’re not for everyone on here. Having said that the amount of messages some single women get on here it’s probably so much easier to delete and ignore

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

If the mail had clearly ignored what our profile says ... then frankly it's ignore / delete.

If not ... a polite response back is given.

If people take umbrage ... they really need to develop a thicker Fab skin

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

If a mail is ignored its pretty much a no thanks anyway.

I don’t understand why people get so annoyed about it.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If it’s a bloke I ignore.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Ignore. I used to reply until I realised that unless you block them, by replying it means your filters don't apply to them in future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it is a nice message I reply with a polite no thanks

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

each to there own

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By *ab_SparklesWoman
over a year ago

sparkle Surprised

I do try but when you are on the go you tend to forget but I've noticed I'm more for get full lately...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll say the same thing that I'd say to all of those who moan about not getting a reply - read the site FAQ's. It has been covered by the owners of the site

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

We’ll send a polite no thanks because we feel nobody should be ignored, even if the attraction isn’t there. We wouldn’t ignor anyone if they approached us face to face.

Furthermore, we have no problem with being rejected either. Those that do, are probably so egotistical, they ask themselves out on a date in the mirror.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bothering to put effort in to a message, checking that I feel we would get on and following their preferences, instead of being one of the thousands of 1 line wonders (I'll admit I have sent a few) , only to have it be deleted can be a bit of a blow. In those cases it would be nice to get a no thanks instead of a complete ignore. I'd not follow it up after that other maybr a "thanks for letting me know take care"

With that said I understand why very few women bother to even send a no thanks.

The ones that annoy me the most are the simple "thanks" replies. Obviously the lack of effort for a 1 word message implies polite but not interested, however it's not clear as some people are just brief with messages even when interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All good points tnanks I do claim in my profile that il always try to respond to well thought out messages guess I’ll maintain that approach and just be quicker to hit the block button should i need to x

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By *ookingforfun9970Man
over a year ago

nearby

"I’ve seen many threads and updates on here from men women and couples complaining their messages go ignored

My question is though is it less hassle to ignore or send a polite no thank you ??

It’s seems lately my polite thanks but no thanks approach is causing offence and creating a barrage of further emails that although I can rise above and ignore / block could really do without !!

I’m certainly not offended if I get a no thanks and appreciate the gesture of the reply

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

I think a lot of people skip reading profiles and go straight to pics and send a message, I can hold my hands up and say I’ve done it before, I personally think a polite no thankyou is the best thing to say but that’s just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the mood, sometimes we ignore other times we'll respond with a decline, however if it's clear they haven't read one bit of the profile, a delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh another hate is the ones that look at your profile, before looking at your message. They then just leave it sitting there, don't even delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply if the initial message was polite.

Any follow ups from undesirables just go in the bin. Simples

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

I always try to reply to messages.

If someone has taken the bother to show you they are interested, I think the least they can expect is a response.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"I’ve seen many threads and updates on here from men women and couples complaining their messages go ignored

My question is though is it less hassle to ignore or send a polite no thank you ??

It’s seems lately my polite thanks but no thanks approach is causing offence and creating a barrage of further emails that although I can rise above and ignore / block could really do without !!

I’m certainly not offended if I get a no thanks and appreciate the gesture of the reply

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

Your profile your choice, asking others will serve to either confirm your original way or you'll be changing...either way only you can decide.

I'm voting you reply to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I either get ignored or get told no thanks not interested in asian men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I send a polite reply and don't find it hassle at all.

If I've left my filters open and have a back log of messages to reply to I close them, to deal with my inbox.

No hassle at all.

Same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

I always try to reply to messages.

If someone has taken the bother to show you they are interested, I think the least they can expect is a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be good if they could add filters for ethnicity too as that seems to a big issue for some. Id rather know who not to approach. Saves me the embarrassment knowing that person just isnt fond of my ethnicity.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Would be good if they could add filters for ethnicity too as that seems to a big issue for some. Id rather know who not to approach. Saves me the embarrassment knowing that person just isnt fond of my ethnicity. "

I think that wouldn't be good ... and contravene some laws

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that wouldn't be good ... and contravene some laws"

There's laws about who we have to fuck? I never knew that.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I mostly ignore.

My profile clearly states my preferences, if someone obviously doesn't meet those, and/or hasn't taken the time to read it, then I don't feel ignoring them is rude.

I used reply to some messages, but rarely these days as I found it just opened myself up to more messages, some not always polite.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Politely ignore and if they get the hump. ..Block and Dekete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that wouldn't be good ... and contravene some laws"

I would rather have that than someone saying it. Does make me cringe a bit inside knowing an ethnicity matters for some people. Surely if someones hot who cares what ethnicty they are. Oh well each to their own. Some will say preference some will say c**nts.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I think that wouldn't be good ... and contravene some laws

No ... but categorizing by ethnicity

There's laws about who we have to fuck? I never knew that. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always send a no thank you.

I’m polite about it but I do it with a smile on my face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite no thanks

If ur not man enough to accept rejection on here your not a genuine swinger

I know Iam not gods gift but for me it’s all to do with chemistry and if that’s there everything else just falls into plane

That’s just my thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A políte reply is nicer than ignoring someone isn’t it?

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

See for me, I have given up sending messages unless I have met them in a club or at a social - there are a few exceptions to that.

First off all I tend to spend time in Manchester or London, so other cities I tend to be passing through. A lot of people won’t meet passers through which is fine, so I don’t tend to mail those people.

For those in Manchester, I can accommodate but only at a hotel and that turns a lot of people off, and in London I can’t accommodate as I live with parents. Personal reasons why.

That’s why the club scene works perfectly for me. I can go to a club a couple of times a month still message people beforehand or when we meet socially in the club.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ignore. I used to reply until I realised that unless you block them, by replying it means your filters don't apply to them in future. "

Yeah. Part of the reason I don't send a polite no thank you is because if/ when I raise my filters in the future, I don't want some random person getting around it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ignore. I used to reply until I realised that unless you block them, by replying it means your filters don't apply to them in future.

Yeah. Part of the reason I don't send a polite no thank you is because if/ when I raise my filters in the future, I don't want some random person getting around it. "

Yep

I’m also super lazy.

Men that I have been polite to in the past will try and continue chatting - just to become friends! Nothing sexual! Or they’ll try and convince me to give them a shot...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ignore. I used to reply until I realised that unless you block them, by replying it means your filters don't apply to them in future.

Yeah. Part of the reason I don't send a polite no thank you is because if/ when I raise my filters in the future, I don't want some random person getting around it.

Yep

I’m also super lazy.

Men that I have been polite to in the past will try and continue chatting - just to become friends! Nothing sexual! Or they’ll try and convince me to give them a shot..."

Just friends almost always has an agenda around here... I've been so nice to you, let's have that coffee and I can cop a feel, right?

Even if I did it, which I don't, talking to someone doesn't mean they owe you anything.

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By *andS33Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Ignore. I used to reply until I realised that unless you block them, by replying it means your filters don't apply to them in future.

Yeah. Part of the reason I don't send a polite no thank you is because if/ when I raise my filters in the future, I don't want some random person getting around it. "

This is the main reason we don't reply if we aren't interested.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I choose to ignore.

It's not because I have too many messages so I don't have time to reply to everyone - I use my filters well to reduce the amount of mail I get. I choose to ignore because a polite no thanks usually results in people asking why, trying to persuade you to change your mind etc. Also if I do reply to them it means they can message me again regardless of any filters I have set.

I don't often block as well - only usually if they are abusive, especially persistent or overly crude.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We will extend the courtesy of a reply to 95% of the messages. There are always the 5% that are downright nasty, disrespectful or not worthy of a reply though.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"A políte reply is nicer than ignoring someone isn’t it? "

Yes, but if you're rewarded with abuse, arguments, or someone getting around your filters to try it on in the future... Nice isn't so nice on this side of the fence.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

We get a few messages and I enjoy replying to each and every one of them politely. Nobody is blocked, we've never had need to, and we choose not to use filters. Anyone is free to message. It's amazing the conversations that develop and the people we "meet" on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ignore. I used to reply until I realised that unless you block them, by replying it means your filters don't apply to them in future. "

This is a good point. It would be lovely if everyone could act like mature adults and take a 'no thanks' reply without vomiting up a hateful response.

I appreciate getting any reply, it makes me feel human

However some profiles get a lot of messages and I appreciate that they don't have the time to reply to everyone.

If you're getting a lot of messages put something in your profile about not having the time to reply to all and a deleted messages means you're not interested, thanks all the same.

Don't feel bad about not replying to people who clearly haven't read your profile!

Well done for being decent enough to worry about whether you should be relying or not

A shame that some people cause you to wonder whether you should *sighs*

Mike xx

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I seriously wonder how, in the twelve years I've used this site, first as a single woman and for the last 4 years as a couple, inspite replying to every single message, I've not had these "abusive" messages? What am I doing right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seriously wonder how, in the twelve years I've used this site, first as a single woman and for the last 4 years as a couple, inspite replying to every single message, I've not had these "abusive" messages? What am I doing right?

I usually put it down to my age. *Some* older men like to think I’m niave and easier to blag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't attract many messages but I'm glad to say we've not had any abusive ones either, but given how many complaints there are about the topic I have to assume it's relatively common. No idea why some get them and others don't though. Probably something to do with the kind of person the profile attracts in the first place....

Mike xx

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By *eal Deal PartiesWoman
over a year ago

"I’ve seen many threads and updates on here from men women and couples complaining their messages go ignored

My question is though is it less hassle to ignore or send a polite no thank you ??

It’s seems lately my polite thanks but no thanks approach is causing offence and creating a barrage of further emails that although I can rise above and ignore / block could really do without !!

I’m certainly not offended if I get a no thanks and appreciate the gesture of the reply

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

I reply with no thanks.. if they reply back then I block!!

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We’ve had detrimental comments about our looks and our weight. Looking at your only photo how could anyone say anything nasty about your mug?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It genuinely doesn't make a difference to me.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

We’ve had detrimental comments about our looks and our weight. Looking at your only photo how could anyone say anything nasty about your mug?

But the mug and current profile are only recent (last 6 months or so) We have had lots of pictures and are certainly no oil paintings?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ignore. I’m not meeting or swinging at the moment and it states that. So messaging is ignoring my profile.

When I am, I do say no thanks, unless the message is crass or rude then I block.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I wish I knew!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me neither. I’ve found that the filters work well and he majority of messages are polite. A few crude ones I have blocked.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

We've had the odd crass message... This morning's belter wondered if "she" was available this afternoon as he was in our area and horny? I politely pointed out that "she" is not an escort and perhaps he should try searching the local classifieds... He swiftly replied with an apology and used frustration as his excuse.... No harm done.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I’ve seen many threads and updates on here from men women and couples complaining their messages go ignored

My question is though is it less hassle to ignore or send a polite no thank you ??

It’s seems lately my polite thanks but no thanks approach is causing offence and creating a barrage of further emails that although I can rise above and ignore / block could really do without !!

I’m certainly not offended if I get a no thanks and appreciate the gesture of the reply

Maybe time to be a little less polite on fab?

If you have read their profile and have no interest , do not reply press block and move on , makes the site work better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A políte reply is nicer than ignoring someone isn’t it?

Yes, but if you're rewarded with abuse, arguments, or someone getting around your filters to try it on in the future... Nice isn't so nice on this side of the fence. "

How do you know you’ll get abuse or arguments?

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Just replied to someone with no thanks and got called a slapper. All my own fault I’m sure for being a woman on a sex site with pics of my tits out and not tarring all men with the same brush and blocking the lot of them Even though its clear on my profile I’m not looking for meets, I know it’s outrageous of me to expect people to read that! Back to ignore or delete for me now.

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By *erfectly_ImperfectWoman
over a year ago

North

Tend to ignore. Don’t have time to respond to every message especially when they’re copy and pasted.. will reply to those who have taken the time to craft a personal message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just replied to someone with no thanks and got called a slapper. All my own fault I’m sure for being a woman on a sex site with pics of my tits out and not tarring all men with the same brush and blocking the lot of them Even though its clear on my profile I’m not looking for meets, I know it’s outrageous of me to expect people to read that! Back to ignore or delete for me now. "

Its a shame that it happens, as the people like that bring down the tone and start the hostilities in the first place. Understandable why the majority of women feel this way towards messages from guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I can think it’s understandable why anyone would be reluctant to start a conversation with a stranger after hearing stories of abusive messages after replying. But these stories are shouted and shared more than the happy side of Fab.

Men moan about being ignored, women moan about the bad reactions from men. And vice-versa

Stick to what’s good about conversing with people, if you get bad vibes off people, you can block, but I personally can’t reccomend ‘block’ignore just because men have a bed rep on here because of the few that get more press than the good guys.

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