FabSwingers.com forum: How long do you give them

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

to respond to your offer of a meet?

So, you've exchanged pleasantries, you've swapped pics, you decide you're all compatable, and you decide to move things on a bit.

They've already told you that they have no ties, they've got nothing on this weekend and are really looking forward to meeting you.

So you ask the question, "Could we meet this weekend?"

"Oh, we'll have to let you know"

Then silence ........ they're online, but they don't speak.

Are they having second thoughts? Are we being pushy?

After 3 days you run out of patience, and write and say that you have changed your plans and are no longer available.

They reply instantly with "ok, no probs"

Question, do you try again or do you forget it all together?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Do you mean try again with same couple, if so i would just leave it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

2 years, 1 month, 6 days and counting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they did not reply for three days, i would assume that they were holding out to see how many other offers they got, so the could take their pick.

Based on this i would probabl not bother with them again.

I am aware that sometime people have to sort things out to arrange meets, but if that was the case then the could have replied to let ou know that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you mean try again with same couple, if so i would just leave it."

Yes, would you try to rearrange with the same couple or just move on?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for me i would move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we saw they were logging in but not giving us a yes or no after 3 days we would leave it & delete them from friends list as we would think they were not worth asking again.

There's plenty more people who would be interested in a real meet rather than fantasising about it as a lot seem to do lately on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Very much depends on the conversations prior.

I might send a message saying "OK well let me know when you are free" and leave the ball with them.

I might just leave it up to them and not send a 'let me know' message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

Forget it and leave it up to them......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you mean try again with same couple, if so i would just leave it.

Yes, would you try to rearrange with the same couple or just move on?

"
Stroll right on and don't look back, not ever! There are people on Fab that exhibit certain kinds behaviours and habits that need to be discouraged

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I wouldn't bother as they are not really interested. Block them and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to respond to your offer of a meet?

So, you've exchanged pleasantries, you've swapped pics, you decide you're all compatable, and you decide to move things on a bit.

They've already told you that they have no ties, they've got nothing on this weekend and are really looking forward to meeting you.

So you ask the question, "Could we meet this weekend?"

"Oh, we'll have to let you know"

Then silence ........ they're online, but they don't speak.

Are they having second thoughts? Are we being pushy?

After 3 days you run out of patience, and write and say that you have changed your plans and are no longer available.

They reply instantly with "ok, no probs"

Question, do you try again or do you forget it all together?

Wouldn't bother again. I messaged a couple last year, local, seemed very compatible. They replied with 'friend invite', but no message. They still look at my profile every week (3 times already this week), but no message. Thought about contacting them again, but nah, not going to bother, I might be seen as 'pushy'! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes i find that but i guess some people including me are nervous so i give the benifit of the doubt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to respond to your offer of a meet?

So, you've exchanged pleasantries, you've swapped pics, you decide you're all compatable, and you decide to move things on a bit.

They've already told you that they have no ties, they've got nothing on this weekend and are really looking forward to meeting you.

So you ask the question, "Could we meet this weekend?"

"Oh, we'll have to let you know"

Then silence ........ they're online, but they don't speak.

Are they having second thoughts? Are we being pushy?

After 3 days you run out of patience, and write and say that you have changed your plans and are no longer available.

They reply instantly with "ok, no probs"

Question, do you try again or do you forget it all together?

If we were keen we might send a "What's the verdict?" mail but probably would just leave it and move on assuming they are pretty neutral in any case.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

think we'd leave it to them to get in touch with us...if ever......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you have been chatting for a while with someone then :

logging on but not reading your message

reading but not answering your message

answering your messages with one word answers like LOL or cool

all smack of disinterest

at that point, i delete their friends status and move on without drama

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

When you read threads about people having to cancel at the last minute, you'll see all sorts of reasons why life gets in the way and people being able to meet.

Sometimes life gets in the way at the messaging stage or something happens away from the site which takes the kettle off of the boil so to speak.

People still log on to keep in touch with established friends or as a distraction.... even if their horny side is taking a nap.

Sometimes it is one person within the couple who does all the messaging and they might be away.

Of course they could explain the sudden cooling off, but sometimes you don't want to tell people you have never met your mother is ill, your son has been arrested, your partners piles have exploded.

May be the moment has gone.

May be there was a moment of clarity.

May be it has just turned out to be not a good time for arranging meets.

I wouldn't chase them, but I wouldn't bold the door either... not just yet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

*bolt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As it happens, we've moved on, but I was talking to another friend about it and they said they'd try again, so just thought I'd ask the masses, lol.

Anyway, thanks for confirming that I'm not a hard hearted bastard, lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"to respond to your offer of a meet?

So, you've exchanged pleasantries, you've swapped pics, you decide you're all compatable, and you decide to move things on a bit.

They've already told you that they have no ties, they've got nothing on this weekend and are really looking forward to meeting you.

So you ask the question, "Could we meet this weekend?"

"Oh, we'll have to let you know"

Then silence ........ they're online, but they don't speak.

Are they having second thoughts? Are we being pushy?

After 3 days you run out of patience, and write and say that you have changed your plans and are no longer available.

They reply instantly with "ok, no probs"

Question, do you try again or do you forget it all together?

forget it, for whatever reason they just werent interested....some ppl have trouble saying no

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to respond to your offer of a meet?

So, you've exchanged pleasantries, you've swapped pics, you decide you're all compatable, and you decide to move things on a bit.

They've already told you that they have no ties, they've got nothing on this weekend and are really looking forward to meeting you.

So you ask the question, "Could we meet this weekend?"

"Oh, we'll have to let you know"

Then silence ........ they're online, but they don't speak.

Are they having second thoughts? Are we being pushy?

After 3 days you run out of patience, and write and say that you have changed your plans and are no longer available.

They reply instantly with "ok, no probs"

Question, do you try again or do you forget it all together?

You should give them the time it takes to make some jam tarts, then a cuppa and eat 3 tarts. Anything longer than that and they would be classed as a jamless filling.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to respond to your offer of a meet?

So, you've exchanged pleasantries, you've swapped pics, you decide you're all compatable, and you decide to move things on a bit.

They've already told you that they have no ties, they've got nothing on this weekend and are really looking forward to meeting you.

So you ask the question, "Could we meet this weekend?"

"Oh, we'll have to let you know"

Then silence ........ they're online, but they don't speak.

Are they having second thoughts? Are we being pushy?

After 3 days you run out of patience, and write and say that you have changed your plans and are no longer available.

They reply instantly with "ok, no probs"

Question, do you try again or do you forget it all together?

i wouldnt have even messaged them to say i had changed my plans

If i asked for a meet and they said they would get back to me and i hadnt heard anything 3 days later id just arrange something else, if they then got back to be after i had re arranged i would simply say i have arranged something else now as after 3+ days of not hearing anything i thought you'd changed your mind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I wouldn't recontact.

Yes real life can get in the way etc and I accept that. But this is a hobby to us, we don't put too much emphasis or importance on a meet. We message, we may ask, if we don't hear then we don't contact again. Its not always a deliberate act, if I'm not having regular contact with people, and see their avatar on a fairly regular basis I forget who they are.

I never look in my sent box. After a day I just wouldn't think about who I'd sent messages to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread