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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've noticed in recent posts that there is a love/hate relationship building towards general feelings about "Labels"

Things like Vanilla, Bi, Gay, BBW, BBC and so on.

So I just want to know how people feel about them. Do you use them? Do you mind people using them in relation to you? Do they affect who you meet and whether they meet you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you buy a tin of peas hoping it contains carrots instead.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bother me not a jot

personally think a rediculous ammount of fuss is made over them if i'm honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Labels are fine, as long as they're taken as a general guide to someone's interests rather than used to define or pigeon-hole them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a large older lady and do not mind at all the terms BBW and Cougar in fact I use them myself on my profile

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Labels are fine, as long as they're taken as a general guide to someone's interests rather than used to define or pigeon-hole them. "

pretty much my _iew, i bin any mail saying i want to fuck a milf,cougar whatever,they are pigeon holes and i am not a bird.

Bi is my sexuality,just like female is my gender, both are facts that ppl need to know when arranging a meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Would you buy a tin of peas hoping it contains carrots instead.....

"

Lmao. You tell me!

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

Not bothered by them at all...

Dont know why people get so hung up about them....

Just something else for them to moan and complain about

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

[Removed by poster at 10/01/12 18:34:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you buy a tin of peas hoping it contains carrots instead.....

"

You dont stop takin the peas youll get yaself canned...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Not bothered by them at all...

Dont know why people get so hung up about them....

Just something else for them to moan and complain about "

ahhh the sterotypes and prejudices do no harm lobby...so if your hubby is labelled poor in bed, as many think the male half of a couple must be on a swining site, then you are fine with that...

i like people who dont use labels because it shows they are interested in people and can think for themselves.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I agree with the pigeon hole theory, but to me its a similiar type of thing to a b list celeb courting the paps, they only do it when it suits them, lots of people have bi, gay, bbw bbc on their profiles but some of the same said people then moan about being labelled...i personally dislike the tern vanilla, cuz lets face it a lot on here have what they term ordinary sex just they have it with numerous people, and maybe in a different environment such as a swinging club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet are from warring families but Juliet tells Romeo that a name is an artificial and meaningless convention, and that she loves the person who is called "Montague", not the Montague name.

Romeo, out of passion, rejects his family name and is "new baptized" as Juliet's lover.

A tragedy of labels.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"I agree with the pigeon hole theory, but to me its a similiar type of thing to a b list celeb courting the paps, they only do it when it suits them, lots of people have bi, gay, bbw bbc on their profiles but some of the same said people then moan about being labelled...i personally dislike the tern vanilla, cuz lets face it a lot on here have what they term ordinary sex just they have it with numerous people, and maybe in a different environment such as a swinging club.

"

when i pop into bdsm sites, i tend to get into arguements with them over the use of the term vanilla, as they see swingers as nilla...given that it was a bdsm term first they can get rather defensive about others using it

i dont see bi and gay as labels, just statements of fact, it is no good a couple who dont meet bi couples arranging a meet with us.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

wouldn't dream of wearing anything less....

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

I carry my label with pride......."munter" is sooo suits me

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Old.......suits me

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I also dislike Vanilla ... it is so fecking superior and looking noses down to a community they perceive as not being as sexually liberated.

I hazard a guess that many of that community will have more fulfilling sex lives than some on here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"bother me not a jot

personally think a rediculous ammount of fuss is made over them if i'm honest"

same _iewpoint.

at least we all know roughly what to expect when a label is used

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I also dislike Vanilla ... it is so fecking superior and looking noses down to a community they perceive as not being as sexually liberated.

I hazard a guess that many of that community will have more fulfilling sex lives than some on here..."

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I agree with the pigeon hole theory, but to me its a similiar type of thing to a b list celeb courting the paps, they only do it when it suits them, lots of people have bi, gay, bbw bbc on their profiles but some of the same said people then moan about being labelled...i personally dislike the tern vanilla, cuz lets face it a lot on here have what they term ordinary sex just they have it with numerous people, and maybe in a different environment such as a swinging club.

when i pop into bdsm sites, i tend to get into arguements with them over the use of the term vanilla, as they see swingers as nilla...given that it was a bdsm term first they can get rather defensive about others using it

i dont see bi and gay as labels, just statements of fact, it is no good a couple who dont meet bi couples arranging a meet with us."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet are from warring families but Juliet tells Romeo that a name is an artificial and meaningless convention, and that she loves the person who is called "Montague", not the Montague name.

Romeo, out of passion, rejects his family name and is "new baptized" as Juliet's lover.

A tragedy of labels. "

touché

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is honest labelling important ?,,,,,,,,,, hmmmmmm ask someone with peanut allergy ,,,,,,,

Ok... I know,,,, this is a swingers site...... so perhaps ask a straight female who wishes to exercise her unnameable right not to meet bisexual men for sex …… or perhaps ask frustrated swingers who moan about not being able to find compatible partners.

Labels, help us find, and be found....

After-all you'd need be a pretty insecure individual to reject the premise of honest labelling purely based on a notion you fear being pigeon-hold into a role from which you cant evolve or digress.........

Sox™

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use a label for me.. its called being me..

I have decided that is all that matters..oh and of course being a slave..

but even that I get fed up of people assuming slave means sub.. not that I am dominant lol

However, some labels help.. because I know to either avoid or approach profiles

Cali x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Is honest labelling important ?,,,,,,,,,, hmmmmmm ask someone with peanut allergy ,,,,,,,

Ok... I know,,,, this is a swingers site...... so perhaps ask a straight female who wishes to exercise her unnameable right not to meet bisexual men for sex …… or perhaps ask frustrated swingers who moan about not being able to find compatible partners.

Labels, help us find, and be found....

After-all you'd need be a pretty insecure individual to reject the premise of honest labelling purely based on a notion you fear being pigeon-hold into a role from which you cant evolve or digress.........

Sox™

"

but if i choose to label myself, for exmaple a cock slut, then that is my choice, just as you choose the label tv... if others label us, with no knowledge of us, then it doesn't help.it hinders.

For example many assume tvs are gay...if you are labelled gay by someone does that help you get meets?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you buy a tin of peas hoping it contains carrots instead.....

Lmao. You tell me! "

MrM (the old git) remembers when you could buy unlabled tins in the supermarket and hopefully open a tin wanting 'sketti on toast ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is honest labelling important ?,,,,,,,,,, hmmmmmm ask someone with peanut allergy ,,,,,,,

Ok... I know,,,, this is a swingers site...... so perhaps ask a straight female who wishes to exercise her unnameable right not to meet bisexual men for sex …… or perhaps ask frustrated swingers who moan about not being able to find compatible partners.

Labels, help us find, and be found....

After-all you'd need be a pretty insecure individual to reject the premise of honest labelling purely based on a notion you fear being pigeon-hold into a role from which you cant evolve or digress.........

Sox™

but if i choose to label myself, for exmaple a cock slut, then that is my choice, just as you choose the label tv... if others label us, with no knowledge of us, then it doesn't help.it hinders.

For example many assume tvs are gay...if you are labelled gay by someone does that help you get meets?"

In order to assist my endeavour to successfully find and attract suitably matching potential partners, I selected a TV profile as my account type because that’s what I am....

I selected bisexual as my sexuality because that what it is,,,,,,

Any subtle nuance of those factor are clearly explained in the textual content of my profile,,,,,,,,

I have no control or desire to control whatever anyone wants to assume about me other than that,,,,,,

So far I've found it's a method of labelling which works very well !!!

Sox™

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"Is honest labelling important ?,,,,,,,,,, hmmmmmm ask someone with peanut allergy ,,,,,,,

Ok... I know,,,, this is a swingers site...... so perhaps ask a straight female who wishes to exercise her unnameable right not to meet bisexual men for sex …… or perhaps ask frustrated swingers who moan about not being able to find compatible partners.

Labels, help us find, and be found....

After-all you'd need be a pretty insecure individual to reject the premise of honest labelling purely based on a notion you fear being pigeon-hold into a role from which you cant evolve or digress.........

Sox™

but if i choose to label myself, for exmaple a cock slut, then that is my choice, just as you choose the label tv... if others label us, with no knowledge of us, then it doesn't help.it hinders.

For example many assume tvs are gay...if you are labelled gay by someone does that help you get meets?

In order to assist my endeavour to successfully find and attract suitably matching potential partners, I selected a TV profile as my account type because that’s what I am....

I selected bisexual as my sexuality because that what it is,,,,,,

Any subtle nuance of those factor are clearly explained in the textual content of my profile,,,,,,,,

I have no control or desire to control whatever anyone wants to assume about me other than that,,,,,,

So far I've found it's a method of labelling which works very well !!!

Sox™

"

which is exactly what i hve done with mine...it will not stop me challenging the lazy use of labels on the forum though..without in any way being insecure about who or what i am

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset


"I've noticed in recent posts that there is a love/hate relationship building towards general feelings about "Labels"

Things like Vanilla, Bi, Gay, BBW, BBC and so on.

So I just want to know how people feel about them. Do you use them? Do you mind people using them in relation to you? Do they affect who you meet and whether they meet you? "

Whats the bloody BBC got to do with swinging?

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple
over a year ago

horwich

I don't mind some labels which define part of who I am, as long as they are not taken as to be all that I am. If that makes sense.

Scarlett xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

ahhh the sterotypes and prejudices do no harm lobby...so if your hubby is labelled poor in bed, as many think the male half of a couple must be on a swining site, then you are fine with that...

"

Asked the 'sub' to the 'swinger'.... ooops I'm using labels.... owwww what about 'hubby' isn't that a label too?

Labels are useful as long as they are not used as a put down.

When used correctly they help to build a picture of who we are... and come on, most of us know one label doesn't maketh the person.

Mother

Daughter

Lover

Worker

Carer

Father

Son

Husband

Wife

Dom

Sub

Slave

Swinger

All labels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't care either way about them tbh. Never even given them a thought until now ..

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area


"Not bothered by them at all...

Dont know why people get so hung up about them....

Just something else for them to moan and complain about

ahhh the sterotypes and prejudices do no harm lobby...so if your hubby is labelled poor in bed, as many think the male half of a couple must be on a swining site, then you are fine with that...

"

As I said before....Doesnt bother me at all...

I look and judge people for myself, dosnt matter to me that other people have "labelled" them....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I've noticed in recent posts that there is a love/hate relationship building towards general feelings about "Labels"

Things like Vanilla, Bi, Gay, BBW, BBC and so on.

So I just want to know how people feel about them. Do you use them? Do you mind people using them in relation to you? Do they affect who you meet and whether they meet you? "

I think on a site where we are all looking for sex there is a good reason to have labels...otherwise you won't know what peoples preferences are etc.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I also dislike Vanilla ... it is so fecking superior and looking noses down to a community they perceive as not being as sexually liberated.

I hazard a guess that many of that community will have more fulfilling sex lives than some on here..."

I would describe vanilla as being someone who doesn't partake in group sex...not that the people don't enjoy their sexlife and it is all missionary based.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I have always used vanilla as meaning people who believe once they are in a relationship sex will be just with their partner (excluding cheating).

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Or to put it another way... a relationship means no more sex with other people.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Vanilla? Two layers of pastry, lovely gooey custardy filling , icing on top, jam if yer lucky. yum yum as they say in parts

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I have always used vanilla as meaning people who believe once they are in a relationship sex will be just with their partner (excluding cheating)."

Yes, same here...it doesn't mean it has to be dull though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always used vanilla as meaning people who believe once they are in a relationship sex will be just with their partner (excluding cheating).

Yes, same here...it doesn't mean it has to be dull though "

I didn't like the term 'vanilla', as I took it to mean 'plain' or 'boring', & felt swingers used it as a fairly derogatory remark. It appears this is not the case.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I have always used vanilla as meaning people who believe once they are in a relationship sex will be just with their partner (excluding cheating).

Yes, same here...it doesn't mean it has to be dull though "

Oh god no.... some of my best ever sexual memories are with vanilla encounters... one of my fb's is 100% vanilla (he isn't even interested in FFM) and he's dirty as fuck

It just 1-2-1 sex.... how good the sex is depends on the two 1's.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

The label I look out for on a guy is...'Best Before Date'

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"The label I look out for on a guy is...'Best Before Date'

"

Not the 'use by' ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting topic. Particuarly when you find a lot of people list their profiles with comments such as only 'straight' men,etc (and therefore being listed as bi-curious would be a no go).

I am not 'attracted' to men but have had bi experience in MMF which has been oral only. Sounds wrong but Im not sure I mind who sucks it!

A real question why so many 'straight' guys message me as Im listed as bi-curious!!

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"The label I look out for on a guy is...'Best Before Date'

Not the 'use by' ?"

Nah....won't touch anything out of date

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

A real question why so many 'straight' guys message me as Im listed as bi-curious!!"

you have a warm inviting mouth and anus... and they are horny and hopeful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It strikes me that for some people on here its not the label which raises their ire, but rather who or when someone else attempts to apply that label in a generic or specific way which effects them personally.

For instance, someone attempting to quantify BBW to a dress size. If a person chooses to pin themselves with that label all is well and good - but pigeon-holing a section of the population in applying constraints will always garner derision and resentment from those people for whom the constraints apply but who do not describe themselves as such.

Describing yourself using as many labels, definitions, tropes or generalisations as you see fit and feel comfortable with is your right in a society which still hold true to the ideals of free speech and freedom of thought - but the danger comes in applying those labels to others who may disagree with their definition or their constraints.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/01/12 07:51:23]

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"

ahhh the sterotypes and prejudices do no harm lobby...so if your hubby is labelled poor in bed, as many think the male half of a couple must be on a swining site, then you are fine with that...

Asked the 'sub' to the 'swinger'.... ooops I'm using labels.... owwww what about 'hubby' isn't that a label too?

Labels are useful as long as they are not used as a put down.

When used correctly they help to build a picture of who we are... and come on, most of us know one label doesn't maketh the person.

Mother

Daughter

Lover

Worker

Carer

Father

Son

Husband

Wife

Dom

Sub

Slave

Swinger

All labels.

"

i think you are seeing a disagreement where there is none

Somewhere up there i said that we need self imposed labels on here,so we meet the people suitable for us, i for example am bi, no good for a couple wanting another straight couple...

However when others impose labels ,especially on the forum, and the mind set behind that imposition seems to be to limit and pigeonhole other (i.e older swinging women are milfs,defined by one aspect of their life and nothing more) then i will continue to fight the good fight!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people wish to define themselves by a label to make it easier for others to make their choice to meet, then I have no problem with that.

If people want to try and define me by the labels they use themselves then it irritates me.

I get annoyed when people try to argue with me about how I describe myself. Who knows me best, its gonna be me isn't it, not a bunch of strangers on a swinging site.

I hate the 'your a BBW cos you're a size ..., 'you're not a BBW cos you're only a size ...'. I cannot stand people trying to use that stupid bloody initials to describe me.

I delete the messages like 'I love milfs, I love BBWs', well go and message those that have that on their profile then.

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By *urns007Man
over a year ago

bridgend

Hi

Can anyone help....I just replyed to a message and added my website address in my message

Well all my message was sent but for some reason it reads in my message web site blocked anybody know the reason for this

Thanks

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham


"If people wish to define themselves by a label to make it easier for others to make their choice to meet, then I have no problem with that.

If people want to try and define me by the labels they use themselves then it irritates me.

I get annoyed when people try to argue with me about how I describe myself. Who knows me best, its gonna be me isn't it, not a bunch of strangers on a swinging site.

I hate the 'your a BBW cos you're a size ..., 'you're not a BBW cos you're only a size ...'. I cannot stand people trying to use that stupid bloody initials to describe me.

I delete the messages like 'I love milfs, I love BBWs', well go and message those that have that on their profile then. "

Thanks iconic, that was what i was trying to say...as usual you said it better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use BBW on my profile... lets guys looking know im a big girl, his choice then whether he contacts me or not. I dont mind the lable

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Hi

Can anyone help....I just replyed to a message and added my website address in my message

Well all my message was sent but for some reason it reads in my message web site blocked anybody know the reason for this

Thanks"

It depends on the website you are trying to send, some websites are blocked.

If it was a link to your MSN addy etc and it didn't go through, send it again as the second time you send it... it normally lets you send.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

i think you are seeing a disagreement where there is none

Somewhere up there i said that we need self imposed labels on here,so we meet the people suitable for us, i for example am bi, no good for a couple wanting another straight couple...

However when others impose labels ,especially on the forum, and the mind set behind that imposition seems to be to limit and pigeonhole other (i.e older swinging women are milfs,defined by one aspect of their life and nothing more) then i will continue to fight the good fight! "

Nahhh not a disagreement... just a different angle, which makes for good discussion.

If there was a thread called "what type of guy do you go for" there would be plenty of women generalising a type... beefy, lean, young, fit, older, stocky, a bit of extra padding, gym jocks, the rugby player type and so on.

Don't we know this doesn't mean as long as a guy fits in the chosen pigeon hole that will be enough, they are in there.... no other requirements needed.

I don't use the term BBW on my profile, I'm happy enough to say I am a big woman, a large lady (and many more terms)... but I'm not offended by it. In fact I find it quite useful if someone states "I have a soft spot for BBW's" on their profile.

I like guys in their 30's of a certain build... lets call them Eric's just to give them a label... I won't want to shag every Eric which comes along, but being an Eric seems to be a shared feature of the men I do want to shag. I shag some men who are not Erics, but not as many who are. So I look for Erics as a starting point and then see which Erics I fancy.

It's how most people use labels when they talk about preferences and fantasies... a generalised shared factor used as a starting point, rather than the be all and end all.

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