FabSwingers.com forum: Why do people hate people who love themselves?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

Sometimes, but a healthy self-love is very different from arrogance or narcissism, and is usually marked by humility and a lack of need to put other people down.

I admire humility, kindness, and the quiet confidence that does not need to declare itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above, there's confidence - attractive, and arrogance - unattractive. A lot of people can't seem to find the right balance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence is a wonderful thing.

Arrogance is a real turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the arrogant I'm too good for everyone attitude that is bad imo.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"As above, there's confidence - attractive, and arrogance - unattractive. A lot of people can't seem to find the right balance. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Sometimes, but a healthy self-love is very different from arrogance or narcissism, and is usually marked by humility and a lack of need to put other people down.

I admire humility, kindness, and the quiet confidence that does not need to declare itself. "

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I see the word modesty and humility bandied about in connection with self aware, self confident people with high self esteem. It makes me smile wryly when I see it on a swingers site. I sometimes wonder if I've gone back to my Quaker childhood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality"

this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I deliberately use self-deprecation to counteract those that overdo the self-confidence

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

I don't understand this either, you have to like/love yourself, or how can you expect anyone else to. Nothing wrong with this. IMO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above, there's confidence - attractive, and arrogance - unattractive. A lot of people can't seem to find the right balance. "
.

Ironically the ones who think their looks are that good that it makes them arrogant become far worse looking in my opinion.

Arrogant personality can really put me off someone physically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Self-love is important but does not really require expression

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

As long as they spread their love to others, no problem with anyone who loves themself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality"

Stating the truth is not arrogance is it?

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By *hyscouseMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Confident, shy, big, small all work for me ??

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

Arrogance and confidence are two entirely different things.

I can't stand arrogant narcissistic self absorbed people who think they are the centre of not only their but everyone else's universe.

You can be confident and proud of yourself but humility is also a trait that is worth having.

Would you rather be friends with a rich good looking humble billionaire who treats people with respect.

A rich good looking billionaire who treats everyone like shit because they think the sun shines out of their own arse?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As long as they spread their love to others, no problem with anyone who loves themself."

Double entendre?

Yes I know what you mean.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the above. Arrogance is the biggest turn off. Confidence the biggest turn on. It's finding the happy medium

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I see the word modesty and humility bandied about in connection with self aware, self confident people with high self esteem. It makes me smile wryly when I see it on a swingers site. I sometimes wonder if I've gone back to my Quaker childhood

I love porridge.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Sometimes, but a healthy self-love is very different from arrogance or narcissism, and is usually marked by humility and a lack of need to put other people down.

I admire humility, kindness, and the quiet confidence that does not need to declare itself. "

Completely agree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality

Stating the truth is not arrogance is it?"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Self-love is important but does not really require expression "

Haha well stated...... even a little understated

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality"

You have to admire someone who's got that confidence and the ability to love themselves but I will never get on with an arrogent person.

I wouldn't say I'd hate them for it either, I just wouldn't put myself around someone like that, especially on here it can be a big turn off.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Self-love is important but does not really require expression "

I like that,short and simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?"

Arrogance is self-confidence when overdone. When the self confidence is expressed too frequently, too intensely, in the wrong context and for too long. The reasons for overdoing it might vary though...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality

Stating the truth is not arrogance is it?"

Arrogance is an attitude entirely separate from what is being stated.

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Arrogance and confidence are two entirely different things.

I can't stand arrogant narcissistic self absorbed people who think they are the centre of not only their but everyone else's universe.

You can be confident and proud of yourself but humility is also a trait that is worth having.

Would you rather be friends with a rich good looking humble billionaire who treats people with respect.

A rich good looking billionaire who treats everyone like shit because they think the sun shines out of their own arse?"

Do people read between the lines though? I know some people that at first appear arrogant because of their sense of humour. But they are lovely people inside.

Or as per your billionaire example, the types that love to flash their cash. Some are just generous and like to share, yet some people think they are show offs.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"All the above. Arrogance is the biggest turn off. Confidence the biggest turn on. It's finding the happy medium "

Absolutely spot on

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"Self-love is important but does not really require expression "

It doesn’t? Do I need to throw my rabbits and my wand away?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Self-love is important but does not really require expression "
nice one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?

They might be faking confidence to hide the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality

Stating the truth is not arrogance is it?

Arrogance is an attitude entirely separate from what is being stated. "

How do you define arrogance though?

If I said a man walked into a glass door because he was looking at me and said "My God, you're beautiful" is that me displaying arrogance. If I said I'm so beautiful that a man couldn't take his eyes off me and walked into a glass door, would that sound arrogant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think they do when it's in the right amount, as we need to love ourselves to be able to love others fully. Love and confidence is attractive whereas just loving yourself may become egotistical which isn't attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?

They might be faking confidence to hide the opposite. "

Faking confidence or arrogance?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?

They might be faking confidence to hide the opposite. "

This is often so, which makes it even more inappropriate and toe curling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is, we all find flaws in ourselves

I dated a guy who was drop dead gorgeous - he turned a lot of heads

The amount of flaws he saw that others looked straight past was unreal

I think we are conditioned to this way of thinking

So, if someone comes out and says 'I know I am FAF' it jars with a lot of people

Now, on here, most find a way of balancing how they feel about themselves with a necessity to draw others attention to our good points

So, on here, if someone oversings their own praises, it can act as a deterrent to some and as a bit of a bar to aim for for others

Personally, I like to see people confident in themselves

My line is drawn where the profile text becomes almost threatening in its content - like "I know I am better than you, so don't even think about it mate"

Putting others down to make yourself stand out is another tact that I personally find unattractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality

You have to admire someone who's got that confidence and the ability to love themselves but I will never get on with an arrogent person.

I wouldn't say I'd hate them for it either, I just wouldn't put myself around someone like that, especially on here it can be a big turn off. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it's easily acociated with being arrogant and selfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm middle aged and fat, and I get a lot of hot men wanting me.

Now, if I kept stating that I would have people saying it's just because they are desperate.

If a hot younger woman says the same thing, she's arrogant.

Why am I not arrogant for saying I can get a hot man too?

Because nobody wants to be me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is, we all find flaws in ourselves

I dated a guy who was drop dead gorgeous - he turned a lot of heads

The amount of flaws he saw that others looked straight past was unreal

I think we are conditioned to this way of thinking

So, if someone comes out and says 'I know I am FAF' it jars with a lot of people

Now, on here, most find a way of balancing how they feel about themselves with a necessity to draw others attention to our good points

So, on here, if someone oversings their own praises, it can act as a deterrent to some and as a bit of a bar to aim for for others

Personally, I like to see people confident in themselves

My line is drawn where the profile text becomes almost threatening in its content - like "I know I am better than you, so don't even think about it mate"

Putting others down to make yourself stand out is another tact that I personally find unattractive"

Well said.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality

Stating the truth is not arrogance is it?

Arrogance is an attitude entirely separate from what is being stated.

How do you define arrogance though?

It's not about what you state, it's about the attitude behind the statement, it requires discernment to fathom which it is sometimes, if it's not blatent.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as... "

Park life

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

I think there are some huge sweeping generalisations in that opening sentence to be honest - I'm not sure people do hate people that feel confident in themselves at all, or even love themselves in the right way, if they did the vast majority of celebrities would be reviled for example.

As has been said countless times through the thread there is a fine line between self-confidence and arrogance though, and they are two entirely different traits, one is to be admired the other not so much.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

The trick is walking the fine line between confidence and arrogance many fail to find the right balance so fall onto the egotistical arrogant side of the fence then people don’t like them

And let’s face it there are many very egotistical people out there that take “confidence” a bit too far we’ve all Met them along the way just as there are many naturally confident people that many admire aspire to

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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago

Hitchin

"Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...

Park life "

Thank-you!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think perceived arrogance comes from a person behaving as if they're better than other people because they are rich, talented, good looking or whatever. I think a lot of people behave arrogantly but I also think a lot of people call others arrogant incorrectly.

Is it arrogance that made J.K. Rowling continue to send the Harry Potter script to publishers despite continual rejection or solid self belief?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?

They might be faking confidence to hide the opposite.

Faking confidence or arrogance? "

Tomatoes tomatoes.

I think some people see confidence as arrogance and vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrogance and confidence are two totally different things

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The thing is, we all find flaws in ourselves

I dated a guy who was drop dead gorgeous - he turned a lot of heads

The amount of flaws he saw that others looked straight past was unreal

I think we are conditioned to this way of thinking

So, if someone comes out and says 'I know I am FAF' it jars with a lot of people

Now, on here, most find a way of balancing how they feel about themselves with a necessity to draw others attention to our good points

So, on here, if someone oversings their own praises, it can act as a deterrent to some and as a bit of a bar to aim for for others

Personally, I like to see people confident in themselves

My line is drawn where the profile text becomes almost threatening in its content - like "I know I am better than you, so don't even think about it mate"

***

Putting others down to make yourself stand out is another tact that I personally find unattractive ***"

Especially ***

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think any of these traits can be accurately determined over the internet anyway, only in person.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Do truly confidence people need to shout about it?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Do truly confidence people need to shout about it?"

Never met one that did.

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

People think I'm arrogant but I just really have no interest in talking to you idiots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bad stuff is easier to believe. ~Viv Ward, Pretty Woman.

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By *zamiWoman
over a year ago

LONDON

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality"

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By *zamiWoman
over a year ago

LONDON

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Sometimes, but a healthy self-love is very different from arrogance or narcissism, and is usually marked by humility and a lack of need to put other people down.

I admire humility, kindness, and the quiet confidence that does not need to declare itself. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do truly confidence people need to shout about it?"

Haha exactly.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I don't think any of these traits can be accurately determined over the internet anyway, only in person."

Very true, the written word can be easily misinterpreted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admire humility, kindness, and the quiet confidence that does not need to declare itself.

Word

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

That would be my best guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think any of these traits can be accurately determined over the internet anyway, only in person."

Exactly this ^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrogance has been mentioned several times but the op only mentions confident people who love themselves. When does this cross over into arrogance?

They might be faking confidence to hide the opposite. "

Yep that’s a possible reason for overdoing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do truly confidence people need to shout about it?"

I find confident people don't have to, they'd carry themselves in a confident manner as well as their personality in general.

Arrogance and confidence are definitely 2 different things

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Arrogance and confidence are two totally different things

I completely agree. Confidence is a self belief and knowledge of your own abilities. Arrogance is overinflated self worth and self importance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think that people who have no confidence can appear aloof and arrogant and keep others at arms length in everyday situations but I'm unsure how that would translate online as you wouldn't need to be a presence in the first place if you didn't feel comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrogance and confidence are two totally different things

I completely agree. Confidence is a self belief and knowledge of your own abilities. Arrogance is overinflated self worth and self importance.

Who decides if you have overinflated your self worth though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People think I'm arrogant but I just really have no interest in talking to you idiots.

Yet, here you are

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Arrogance and confidence are two totally different things

I completely agree. Confidence is a self belief and knowledge of your own abilities. Arrogance is overinflated self worth and self importance.

Who decides if you have overinflated your self worth though? "

I think that arrogance comes from a place of insecurity, the bravado that is the outward projection of what you wish you felt. Introspection will show that. In short the person will know, they just won't acknowledge it

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"People think I'm arrogant but I just really have no interest in talking to you idiots.

Yet, here you are

"
The irony.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How you portray yourself online is very much a choice. Some may find extreme confidence a challenge. I just find the whole arrogance side very unattractive and of zero interest. Prefer people who don't seek to be the pantomime villain and are truly happy in their own skin.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I have no time for people who brag about what they have ....I would rather lead a simple life and be content....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you having a thread clear out Op, do you need to hit your quota before the end of the year is out ?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

Can't be arsed to read all the previous comments and late for this party but here's my 2p.

There's a huge difference between confident, self-aware, content in your own skin and egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant.

Nobody minds the former because in general they don't affect others. The latter, especially when they constantly big themselves up in a manner that comes across as pure attention seeking, approval needing, 'please tell me how wonderful I am' in a manner that needs no reading between the lines and is as transparent as a window......? Is it any wonder they irritate others when regardless of how many times they're told how great they are by hordes of fawning onlookers, they continue to seek constant adoration and reinforcement?

I don't hate the person. I loathe the behaviour. But some seem to thrive on it, others appear to love the opportunity to heap praise and attention and the cycle continues......

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

There is a whole world of difference from someone saying “wow you look beautiful” to someone shouting “oi I am beautiful look at me!!”, the second trait is not a good one and I would steer clear of that sort of person and would feel no jealousy towards them whatsoever.

The downside of putting yourself on a pedestal is that some fucker will always try to knock you off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think quite often the lines between confidence and arrogance are blurred.

Many people see the behaviour they expect rather what is actually being displayed. Someone happy and confident can make them feel inferior so they attribute arrogance to them in an attempt to make them seem a bad person and justify their jealousy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are not happy in themselves so want to bring you down with them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think quite often the lines between confidence and arrogance are blurred.

I agree. I looked up the definition of arrogance a minute ago because I thought I must have got it wrong

"an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions"

I honestly don't think confidence is the same thing as superiority.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I think quite often the lines between confidence and arrogance are blurred.

Sometimes. Especially when it's a question of not spotting someone's sense of humour, which can take a while, in profile text or forum posts.

Other times it's not even subtle. It's also not necessarily the case that people feel inferior to someone displaying such traits. Just that they're well aware that the other person is in no way superior to anyone else.

Even if, for whatever reason, they feel they are.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Arrogance and confidence are two totally different things

I completely agree. Confidence is a self belief and knowledge of your own abilities. Arrogance is overinflated self worth and self importance.

Who decides if you have overinflated your self worth though?

Ah bravado - that's a good word!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s some right morons out there impossible to love

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think quite often the lines between confidence and arrogance are blurred.

I agree with this. I think that's why some people like a person and some don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Can't be arsed to read all the previous comments and late for this party but here's my 2p.

***

There's a huge difference between confident, self-aware, content in your own skin and egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant.

Nobody minds the former because in general they don't affect others.

***

The latter, especially when they constantly big themselves up in a manner that comes across as pure attention seeking, approval needing, 'please tell me how wonderful I am' in a manner that needs no reading between the lines and is as transparent as a window......? Is it any wonder they irritate others when regardless of how many times they're told how great they are by hordes of fawning onlookers, they continue to seek constant adoration and reinforcement?

I don't hate the person. I loathe the behaviour. But some seem to thrive on it, others appear to love the opportunity to heap praise and attention and the cycle continues......

***

I find this interesting. It's just the way I read it, apologies if it's not the way you meant it.

But 'nobody minds confident people'- as though they are tolerated. As though confidence is a bad thing.

I'm not trying to infer anything from what you said, these are just my thoughts about the way I read it.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

But 'nobody minds confident people'- as though they are tolerated. As though confidence is a bad thing.

I'm not trying to infer anything from what you said, these are just my thoughts about the way I read it. "

He's just countering your assertion that people hate people with confidence. Not so, they don't mind it at all.

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I probably come across arrogant on here sometimes but I don't think anyone who actually knows me would ever say I was. It's all smoke and mirrors and trying to get a reaction or attention, I don't believe half the shit I post.

Also confidence is a weird thing, different people are confident or lack confidence in different ways. I would lack confidence presenting to a room full of colleagues but have plenty of confidence fucking in a room full of strangers.

I don't really dislike anyone for appearing confident or even arrogant to a degree, as I know they will have there own areas in life where they struggle.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Can't be arsed to read all the previous comments and late for this party but here's my 2p.

***

There's a huge difference between confident, self-aware, content in your own skin and egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant.

Nobody minds the former because in general they don't affect others.

***

I don't hate the person. I loathe the behaviour. But some seem to thrive on it, others appear to love the opportunity to heap praise and attention and the cycle continues......

***

I find this interesting. It's just the way I read it, apologies if it's not the way you meant it.

But 'nobody minds confident people'- as though they are tolerated. As though confidence is a bad thing.

I'm not trying to infer anything from what you said, these are just my thoughts about the way I read it. "

No worries - words on a screen can be interpreted in different ways.

When I say 'nobody minds' it's not a question of tolerating confidence. Confidence is a positive characteristic. Not everyone has it and some have more than others. But confidence in yourself doesn't negatively affect others.

Arrogance, a sense of superiority and behaving in a manner that puts or portrays you above others due to looks, perceived desirability/popularity and the way that you refer to others and their interactions with you...... that's where the line is most definitely crossed to me.

Nothing wrong with confidence. The other is not an attractive personality trait no matter how physically attractive or 'desirable' you may deem yourself or be perceived by others.

Some of the most physically stunning people (male and female) I've ever met have been the nicest, most unassuming, yet confident people I've had the pleasure to encounter both on Fab and IRL. Others I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire due to the way they hold themselves above others and expect to be treated differently due to their owned perceived superiority.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Can't be arsed to read all the previous comments and late for this party but here's my 2p.

***

There's a huge difference between confident, self-aware, content in your own skin and egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant.

Nobody minds the former because in general they don't affect others.

***

I don't hate the person. I loathe the behaviour. But some seem to thrive on it, others appear to love the opportunity to heap praise and attention and the cycle continues......

***

I find this interesting. It's just the way I read it, apologies if it's not the way you meant it.

But 'nobody minds confident people'- as though they are tolerated. As though confidence is a bad thing.

I'm not trying to infer anything from what you said, these are just my thoughts about the way I read it.

No worries - words on a screen can be interpreted in different ways.

Nothing wrong with confidence. The other is not an attractive personality trait no matter how physically attractive or 'desirable' you may deem yourself or be perceived by others.

A "

That all makes sense, thanks.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

On here I’m frequently gobsmacked the way that some people can say the most cringeworthy ‘self love’ things about themselves and people rush to agree and praise them for their self confidence. Then someone else will say something equally cringey about themselves and they get absolutely slated for it. It seems sometimes that, on here, self confidence is a subjective trait depending on who has it.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Can't be arsed to read all the previous comments and late for this party but here's my 2p.

***

There's a huge difference between confident, self-aware, content in your own skin and egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant.

Nobody minds the former because in general they don't affect others.

***

I don't hate the person. I loathe the behaviour. But some seem to thrive on it, others appear to love the opportunity to heap praise and attention and the cycle continues......

***

I find this interesting. It's just the way I read it, apologies if it's not the way you meant it.

But 'nobody minds confident people'- as though they are tolerated. As though confidence is a bad thing.

I'm not trying to infer anything from what you said, these are just my thoughts about the way I read it.

No worries - words on a screen can be interpreted in different ways.

Nothing wrong with confidence. The other is not an attractive personality trait no matter how physically attractive or 'desirable' you may deem yourself or be perceived by others.

A "

I agree with you on this, I would also add that I think confidence is nurturing and sharing, a confident person will support others whilst an arrogant person will put others down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t hate any one.

I don’t really have a problem with people loving themselves, it’s only a personal opinion and means very little to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people think I’m arrogant but I’m not, I’m not majorly confident either because I have felt a bit fingers and thumbs and clumsy around men who are obscenely attractive.

I’d say I was neither arrogant or confident, just an honest realist. Like I wouldn’t be lying by saying I’m attractive and lots of men find me attractive. That’s a true statement but for saying that I’d be called arrogant when I’m not, I’m just speaking the truth, does that make sense?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I think a lot of people think I’m arrogant but I’m not, I’m not majorly confident either because I have felt a bit fingers and thumbs and clumsy around men who are obscenely attractive.

Using your example then.....

If lots of men found you arrogant would that make it a true stateent?

Honest question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's nothing wrong with confidence or loving yourself but arrogance is a bad quality"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds similar to a catholic childhood as well lol

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Simple hate or anger is an easier emotion to express than love.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Sometimes, but a healthy self-love is very different from arrogance or narcissism, and is usually marked by humility and a lack of need to put other people down.

I admire humility, kindness, and the quiet confidence that does not need to declare itself. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people think I’m arrogant but I’m not, I’m not majorly confident either because I have felt a bit fingers and thumbs and clumsy around men who are obscenely attractive.

Using your example then.....

If lots of men found you arrogant would that make it a true stateent?

Honest question?

Well yeah. I can’t comment on what somebody feels or believes. If lots of men think I’m arrogant then yeah it’s a true statement. I’m just saying that just because I know I’m attractive it doesn’t make me arrogant.

I could go round the forums saying oh my god I’ve got a face like a dropped pie or oh my god I’m so overweight, that I feel would be more insulting to people bigger than me because they’d look at my body type and think what the fuck are you on about you’re not overweight at all and if you think that about yourself then what must you think about me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sounds similar to a catholic childhood as well lol "

I don't know too much about Catholicism but if it includes not allowing women to speak at services in the meeting house and expecting them to display modesty and humility in dress and action then yes it is similar

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think a lot of people think I’m arrogant but I’m not, I’m not majorly confident either because I have felt a bit fingers and thumbs and clumsy around men who are obscenely attractive.

It makes absolute sense. However loads people would rather you or indeed all of us gnash our teeth and say we feel soooo unattractive and could never compete.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I think a lot of people think I’m arrogant but I’m not, I’m not majorly confident either because I have felt a bit fingers and thumbs and clumsy around men who are obscenely attractive.

Using your example then.....

If lots of men found you arrogant would that make it a true stateent?

Honest question?

Thanks for the reply.

I think what often causes people to perceive arrogance is the choice of words someone uses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?"

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony"

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose what a person considers arrogant comes down to what they feel about themselves.

Like me personally I don’t care if people that say they’re attractive or hot or whatever, makes no difference to me and I think good for you.

It’s money vulgarity for me. Like I think I’m flush when I blow £100 in Primark but when I see people saying how much money they have or how they wouldn’t shop in Tesco, or how they have this and that or criticise people for what they don’t have, that’s what gives me my twang of thinking that person’s a bit of a knob.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Isn't behaviour a manifestation of personality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

Can't be arsed to read all the previous comments and late for this party but here's my 2p.

There's a huge difference between confident, self-aware, content in your own skin and egotistical, narcissistic and arrogant.

I don't hate the person. I loathe the behaviour. But some seem to thrive on it, others appear to love the opportunity to heap praise and attention and the cycle continues......

They don't irritate me though. Why do people become irritated?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I love myself. I dont have to go on about it where always told to love ourselves. When your happy and confident you attract positivity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the ppl who like to bring other down, you have to know that I will gladly piss between your asscrack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people think I’m arrogant but I’m not, I’m not majorly confident either because I have felt a bit fingers and thumbs and clumsy around men who are obscenely attractive.

It makes sense to me. It's just a fact, you're very attractive.

You come across as a caring person. You were really kind and uplifting to a lady on here a couple of years ago who had some issues. The only time I've seen you be rude was when you were defending yourself.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

In my book yes, behaviour is not identity and it is important to differentiate.

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

In my book yes, behaviour is not identity and it is important to differentiate.

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Oooer that disappeared - I said yes, behaviour and identity need to be differentiated.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Isn't behaviour a manifestation of personality?"

Sometimes. It can also be a mask that people wear to either hide their true self or to present themselves as something they're not.

For example anyone could say they're attractive. Does it make it true just because they do? Is the statement based on self appraisal or the view of (some) others? There's no right or wrong answer of course, but the way it's presented can often be the determining factor as to whether it comes across as confident, arrogant or you could even argue delusional.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Isn't behaviour a manifestation of personality?

Sometimes. It can also be a mask that people wear to either hide their true self or to present themselves as something they're not.

. Yeah, I'm in the delusional group but I'm happy here.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And just because something is true does not mean it is the best idea to declare it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love myself. I dont have to go on about it where always told to love ourselves. When your happy and confident you attract positivity "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?"

I love this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life. "

You aren't either of those things. I genuinely don't understand why it's problematic to acknowledge that you're attractive to most people. It's no different to acknowledging that you have a good singing voice or you're a talented novelist.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Isn't behaviour a manifestation of personality?

Sometimes. It can also be a mask that people wear to either hide their true self or to present themselves as something they're not.

. Yeah, I'm in the delusional group but I'm happy here."

I've never been short on confidence but I don't have the balls to describe myself as attractive. Even if others were to think so it's not my place to put the idea in their heads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

I know I’m an amazing cook too but I don’t get people saying I’m arrogant cos I can make a beautiful Sunday roast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

How would you describe yourself then cos you’ve got excellent height, a decent sized willy, visible definition in your abs and a strong jawline which suggests a certain level of facial attractiveness.

Would you not describe yourself as attractive then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

Would you not describe yourself as attractive then? "

Genuinely I don't really think about it. Some will like some won't. The older I get the more I see that a friendly personality and nice nature can severely enhance how I look at someone, where as arrogance can make someone who is attractive appear less so.

If I was to go on about how gorgeous I am and how lucky you were that you've even got my attention, would you think ohhh he's Confident, or would you think what an absolute bell end

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

My last thought on this - things to do!

"Self praise is no praise at all" - Byron.

"Self praise is like a circle. It ends where it begins." - unknown.

If you think and describe yourself as attractive then it's always worth considering your audience.

Because you're only attractive to them if your physical characteristics match their preferences. If not? You're no more attractive than anyone else that doesn't interest them. And no amount of self praise and publicity will ever change that.

*and then of course there's personality.....but that's for another thread...............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

Would you not describe yourself as attractive then?

If I was to go on about how gorgeous I am and how lucky you were that you've even got my attention, would you think ohhh he's Confident, or would you think what an absolute bell end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

Would you not describe yourself as attractive then?

If I was to go on about how gorgeous I am and how lucky you were that you've even got my attention, would you think ohhh he's Confident, or would you think what an absolute bell end

I’d think neither of those things, I’d just see it as a true statement, yes this person is gorgeous and yes I’m lucky that I have his attention. But there’d have to be mutual adoration, like the compliments would have to flow both ways. "
I'd agree with that but that's you and I saying we find each other attractive. Others wouldn't find us attractive at all, others might.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

There's a really fine line between confidence and arrogance. Quietly confident is more attractive to me than someone being overly so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And just because something is true does not mean it is the best idea to declare it.

So you don't piss people off?

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By *bonynivoryCouple
over a year ago

market harborough

"My last thought on this - things to do!

"Self praise is no praise at all" - Byron.

"Self praise is like a circle. It ends where it begins." - unknown.

If you think and describe yourself as attractive then it's always worth considering your audience.

*and then of course there's personality.....but that's for another thread..............."

I don't agree with having to consider your audience. I think I'm attractive. I know I'm not attractive to all. But that shouldn't change how I view myself. After years of abuse and having rock bottom self esteem, having fought tooth and nail to get to a place of confidence and self acceptance, I would never give another human being that power over me.

Mrs

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I love this.

I agree with this to certain point. I know that I can and do judge people to a degree (I think that most do to a certain point)

However I do qualify my points and my opinions as only being my own, and in that term being entirely subjective.

I think that arrogance is also carried in presenting a statement as fact and stating that it's the only correct viewpoint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

Would you not describe yourself as attractive then?

If I was to go on about how gorgeous I am and how lucky you were that you've even got my attention, would you think ohhh he's Confident, or would you think what an absolute bell end

I'd agree with that but that's you and I saying we find each other attractive. Others wouldn't find us attractive at all, others might. "

Majority would I’d say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I don’t think I’m arrogant or delusional by saying I’m attractive. I just go by what the mirror shows me and also the attention I get when I’m out about in my daily life.

Would you not describe yourself as attractive then?

If I was to go on about how gorgeous I am and how lucky you were that you've even got my attention, would you think ohhh he's Confident, or would you think what an absolute bell end

I'd agree with that but that's you and I saying we find each other attractive. Others wouldn't find us attractive at all, others might.

Majority would I’d say

I'll message them and ask

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

My opinion...

The term "love yourself" is loaded with judgement in this country.

If more people loved themselves in terms of being kind to themselves , respecting themselves and acknowledging the good in themselves and others the world would certainly be a better place.

It perplexes me that people try to turn something positive (loving yourself/self confidence) into something negative (arrogance/bigheadedness).

Negativity seems to be some people's default position. I see it every day in the forums, and I also see anyone who challenges the "life/people/fab is shit" mentality is generally shouted down or ignored as it doesn't fit their world view.

I find positivity much more attractive than relentless negativity, so respect to all those people brave enough to say they love themselves.

I'm happy I can put my hand on my heart and say I'm an ok person. If some people perceive that as arrogance then I guess that says more about them than me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Isn't behaviour a manifestation of personality?

Sometimes. It can also be a mask that people wear to either hide their true self or to present themselves as something they're not.

. Yeah, I'm in the delusional group but I'm happy here.

I've never been short on confidence but I don't have the balls to describe myself as attractive. Even if others were to think so it's not my place to put the idea in their heads.

You don't need to put the idea in other people's head you just need it in your own. People will think what they want to think regardless of what we say to them.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I don’t hate anyone.

Both confidence and arrogance are just perceptions, until you really know someone you don’t really know someone.

Everybody has somebody that loves them.

Just a thought but...

Has anyone on here considered that our arrogance in judgement is just as unattractive?

I was thinking that some of the posts on this thread are strong in irony

There's a huge difference between judging a person and judging a behaviour though isn't there?

Isn't behaviour a manifestation of personality?

Sometimes. It can also be a mask that people wear to either hide their true self or to present themselves as something they're not.

. Yeah, I'm in the delusional group but I'm happy here.

I've never been short on confidence but I don't have the balls to describe myself as attractive. Even if others were to think so it's not my place to put the idea in their heads.

You don't need to put the idea in other people's head you just need it in your own. People will think what they want to think regardless of what we say to them.

I think you've just led me to the conclusion I was searching for. Thanks.

Confidence is thinking, feeling or even knowing you're attractive.

Arrogance is telling others that you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

There is nothing wrong with loving who you are but there is a certain group of people who are arrogant with it.

I think that's what people don't like not the fact that they love who they are.

The arrogance comes across as I am better than you and as such why should I have anything going to do with you.

So if so.eone contacts us that is confident and love themselves that's great as long as they are humble with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My last thought on this - things to do!

"Self praise is no praise at all" - Byron.

"Self praise is like a circle. It ends where it begins." - unknown.

If you think and describe yourself as attractive then it's always worth considering your audience.

*and then of course there's personality.....but that's for another thread...............

Mrs"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My opinion...

The term "love yourself" is loaded with judgement in this country.

If more people loved themselves in terms of being kind to themselves , respecting themselves and acknowledging the good in themselves and others the world would certainly be a better place.

It perplexes me that people try to turn something positive (loving yourself/self confidence) into something negative (arrogance/bigheadedness).

I find positivity much more attractive than relentless negativity, so respect to all those people brave enough to say they love themselves.

I'm happy I can put my hand on my heart and say I'm an ok person. If some people perceive that as arrogance then I guess that says more about them than me.

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By *hubnwife_36dd_ukCouple
over a year ago

chester

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

The problem is those who truly love themselves and their ego.

Narcissism isn't pretty!

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Self confidence and a desire to better ones self is good but some people also have an ego or an attitude which is not pleasant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to sound a hippie here, but hey ho those that that talk to me regularly know what I'm about

Self love, true self love as into loving your being, your essence, your soul (I'm not on about the shiney wrapper that covers it) brings peace. If you have this then why on earth would you bring others down? The answer is you don't.

Those who self love do not shit on others

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?

There is nothing wrong with loving who you are but there is a certain group of people who are arrogant with it.

I think that's what people don't like not the fact that they love who they are.

The arrogance comes across as I am better than you and as such why should I have anything going to do with you.

So if so.eone contacts us that is confident and love themselves that's great as long as they are humble with it "

Lots of people are better than me, that's why I don't compete. It's not negativity for me though, it's just a fact. I still love me.

Maybe I'm lucky to know some attractive but really nice people. I'm thinking of a few now and it's making me smile. They are all gorgeous but the big beaming genuine smiles they give people, and the way they talk to people and make them feel good, it's brilliant.

Yet I know some others think those same people are stuck up and arrogant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to sound a hippie here, but hey ho those that that talk to me regularly know what I'm about

Those who self love do not shit on others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to sound a hippie here, but hey ho those that that talk to me regularly know what I'm about

Those who self love do not shit on others

Note to self, I really should hot the preview before hitting send... Grrrr!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to sound a hippie here, but hey ho those that that talk to me regularly know what I'm about

Those who self love do not shit on others

Note to self, I really should hot the preview before hitting send... Grrrr! "

I've gone n done it again! Think I'll rest my fat fingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

There's a close line between arrogance, confidence and assurance.

Then there's the narcicistic kind of self-love.

I have met some lovely confident assured people, but they still have humility.

I haven't met arrogant people with humility- I think it's not possible as they are opposites.

So it's not really jealousy, just dislike. Jealousy would imply I aspire to be like them and I really don't.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"And just because something is true does not mean it is the best idea to declare it.

So you don't piss people off? "

No, because sometimes it benefits no-one and denigrates those who declare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The world is full of advice for improving yourself and loving you. So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

Is it nasty sour jealousy because they feel so bad about themselves they want to bring the other person down?"

I don't, I detest arrogance, but rarely leads to hate, its unlikely they matter to me.

It's generally the opposite on here except for one guy, but I'm sure he's actually quite the opposite in reality and fishing for compliments anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hate is such a strong word... more like we have no time for people that think there better than most and have no issue with making others feel less fortunate,

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Hate is such a strong word... more like we have no time for people that think there better than most and have no issue with making others feel less fortunate, "

So why is there always so much hate for people that do love themselves or feel confident and happy?

That's a direct quote from the op. What is it about people who love themselves and feel confident and happy that makes you think they feel better than most or have no issue with making others feel less fortunate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a british thing love the underdog mentality

Love to put ourselves down so when someone doesnt thats seen as alien therefore to be avoided

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And just because something is true does not mean it is the best idea to declare it.

So you don't piss people off?

No, because sometimes it benefits no-one and denigrates those who declare."

Do they care though? Would they want to be with-or be friends with-people who see them in a bad light? Should we be so arrogant to tell people don't be arrogant, as we won't like you?

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"And just because something is true does not mean it is the best idea to declare it.

So you don't piss people off?

No, because sometimes it benefits no-one and denigrates those who declare.

Do they care though? Would they want to be with-or be friends with-people who see them in a bad light? Should we be so arrogant to tell people don't be arrogant, as we won't like you?"

No, we don't give a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds similar to a catholic childhood as well lol

Unfortunately I think that probably applies to most religions... scary how the majority of religions treat women as second class citizens... Its about time they were dragged screaming or otherwise into the 21st Century. Its one of the reasons I'm more of a humanist than anything else nowadays.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"And just because something is true does not mean it is the best idea to declare it.

So you don't piss people off?

No, because sometimes it benefits no-one and denigrates those who declare.

Do they care though? Would they want to be with-or be friends with-people who see them in a bad light? Should we be so arrogant to tell people don't be arrogant, as we won't like you?"

That's not what I am saying though, I am just saying it will harm their cause.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds similar to a catholic childhood as well lol

Does the west really have the right to tell other people what to believe and how to live...? Considering the intense amount of damage and destruction we directly or indirectly cause to keep our, lets face it, mostly immoral and gluttonous way of life going whilst everyone else suffers.

I don't think we can really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to sound a hippie here, but hey ho those that that talk to me regularly know what I'm about

Those who self love do not shit on others

Absolutely. We should absolutely love ourselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds similar to a catholic childhood as well lol

I don't think we can really."

Religious talk twists my melon mannnnnn

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