FabSwingers.com forum: What makes the person above a crap shag...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He isn’t really a star :-/

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

He leaves his socks on during sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He lives too far away

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"He isn’t really a star :-/"
Inexperienced

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He isn’t really a star :-/"

Hmm she gets so nervous she starts hiding in her own house..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He isn’t really a star :-/

Hmm she gets so nervous she starts hiding in her own house.."

Get so nervous I hide behind my front door and peek through the peepyhole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He isn’t really a star :-/

Hmm she gets so nervous she starts hiding in her own house..

Get so nervous I hide behind my front door and peek through the peepyhole

Quiet as a mouse during sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He isn’t really a star :-/

Hmm she gets so nervous she starts hiding in her own house..

Get so nervous I hide behind my front door and peek through the peepyhole

Quiet as a mouse during sex

Keeps his cycling shorts on :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The mustard he puts on his knob.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He lives too far away "

She doesn't read her messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is actually a virgin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He isn’t really a star :-/

Hmm she gets so nervous she starts hiding in her own house..

Get so nervous I hide behind my front door and peek through the peepyhole

Quiet as a mouse during sex

Does that weird thing with hamsters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He isn’t really a star :-/

Hmm she gets so nervous she starts hiding in her own house..

Get so nervous I hide behind my front door and peek through the peepyhole

Quiet as a mouse during sex

Keeps his cycling shorts on :/"

Hasn't shagged me..... yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The mustard he puts on his knob."

Her hairy vag cushions the thrusts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never free when he's in the country..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DOESNT LIKE FANNY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never free when he's in the country.. "

Oh missy! You're going on my naughty list for this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"DOESNT LIKE FANNY"

Legit have no come back to this..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never free when he's in the country..

Oh missy! You're going on my naughty list for this

I'm always on the naughty list z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part. "

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

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By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone

I think he’ll be a good shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!"

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky"

Her narcolepsy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy"

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/"

Is like shagging a piece of wood ......

Only joking lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think he’ll be a good shag

I think she will be a very good shag..... what a figure .... wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/"

She only wants to shag if she can put Barbra Streisand on while you you're in action

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By *rs Myvanwy Scarlet-BlackTV/TS
over a year ago

hot wife

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/

Is like shagging a piece of wood ......

Only joking lol

He asked me to call him daddy

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/

Is like shagging a piece of wood ......

Only joking lol

He asked me to call him daddy "

Has a curious proclivity for reciting Shakespeare during the act which is a tad unnerving

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/

Is like shagging a piece of wood ......

Only joking lol

He asked me to call him daddy

Has a curious proclivity for reciting Shakespeare during the act which is a tad unnerving

Likes to try and breastfeed women before the act, hasn’t successfully pulled this off yet...

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/

Is like shagging a piece of wood ......

Only joking lol

He asked me to call him daddy

Has a curious proclivity for reciting Shakespeare during the act which is a tad unnerving

Likes to try and breastfeed women before the act, hasn’t successfully pulled this off yet... "

I’m so close to success though - I can feel it in me bones - manly lactation is nearly within my grasp....

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"He just doesn't remove his hand from his part.

He sneezes on the partners ass during doggy!

Will only cum if I do an impression of Jimmy cranky

Her narcolepsy

Only gets it up if I make him bark like a dog :/

Is like shagging a piece of wood ......

Only joking lol

He asked me to call him daddy

Has a curious proclivity for reciting Shakespeare during the act which is a tad unnerving

Likes to try and breastfeed women before the act, hasn’t successfully pulled this off yet... "

Refuses point blank to suckle at my breast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had very different visions of him being milked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had very different visions of him being milked."

No one can get to the bottom of her riddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had very different visions of him being milked.

No one can get to the bottom of her riddle"

He's doesn't have the right parts for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To tight ??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was laughing faces forgot can't use emojis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was laughing faces forgot can't use emojis "

Pieces dangling in the wrong spots.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just the wrong pieces haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just the wrong pieces haha"

Kept asking for a piece mid-shag. I said I'd make them after jeez!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Still had crumbs all over her boobs from eating pieces with the guy above

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

[Removed by poster at 28/12/18 18:05:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/12/18 18:05:14]"

She deleted her comments and is scared to say what she wants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He comes too quick lol

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

don,t know if they are a crap shag.

(but we would love to fine out)!. xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They're too indecisive, spent 30 minutes discussing positions!

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"They're too indecisive, spent 30 minutes discussing positions!"

I can get my legs around his thighs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're too indecisive, spent 30 minutes discussing positions!

I can get my legs around his thighs"

Her lights gave me a shock !

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By *ouis CyphreMan
over a year ago

The Midlands

"don,t know if they are a crap shag.

(but we would love to fine out)!. xxx

Forget about thread, you just got added to my hot list

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

When asked to talk dirty he said ‘mucky tea towels’, ‘filthy sheets’, dirty floors....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When asked to talk dirty he said ‘mucky tea towels’, ‘filthy sheets’, dirty floors....

She got lipstick all over the bed sheets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When asked to talk dirty he said ‘mucky tea towels’, ‘filthy sheets’, dirty floors....

I was hoping for a blowjob but her lips were stuck together with lippy. At least she was quiet

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"When asked to talk dirty he said ‘mucky tea towels’, ‘filthy sheets’, dirty floors....

She always has to go on top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/12/18 19:37:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She changed her mind last minute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She changed her mind last minute."

She fell asleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She changed her mind last minute."

Depends if she's red or blue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She changed her mind last minute.

Depends if she's red or blue

Ha ha neither.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She changed her mind last minute."

Kept asking me 'have we started yet?'

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"When asked to talk dirty he said ‘mucky tea towels’, ‘filthy sheets’, dirty floors....

I was hoping for a blowjob but her lips were stuck together with lippy. At least she was quiet

Ooooh you monkey.....

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"She changed her mind last minute.

Kept asking me 'have we started yet?' "

His body’s too good!

Everyone knows gym bunnies are too busy looking in the mirror at their abs to be a decent shag!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's really a man with a peach fetish.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"She's really a man with a peach fetish."

She won't take her nanny slippers off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She's really a man with a peach fetish.

She won't take her nanny slippers off."

Absolutely nothing I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She's really a man with a peach fetish.

She won't take her nanny slippers off."

So hot she burnt my bollocks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Expected me to stick a red rose up my bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/12/18 19:48:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Expected me to stick a red rose up my bum

What? like this?

Wouldn’t stick a red rose up his arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ended up in A&E with aforementioned rose stuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Riddled with greenfly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's a virgin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She's a virgin"
instead of jizm he shoots spicy yellow stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strange smelling fingers

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By *ouisebottomTV/TS
over a year ago

London

He kept asking me to pull his finger when he was about cum

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By *oo32Man
over a year ago

tipperary

"He kept asking me to pull his finger when he was about cum

Can only cum when singing mary had a little lamb

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

Their legs are just TOO perfect.??

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

‘Limp Lettuce’ just can’t cut the mustard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He tied himself to the bedpost and lost the keys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Refuses to remove her jacket never mind anything else unless you pole dance for her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keeps roaring like a bear!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She changed her mind last minute.

Kept asking me 'have we started yet?'

His body’s too good!

Everyone knows gym bunnies are too busy looking in the mirror at their abs to be a decent shag!

Ceiling mirror will be fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Refuses to remove her jacket never mind anything else unless you pole dance for her

Insisted on stlicking Foxes Glacier Mints up my arse claiming they make you last longer- we all know that it was Trebor mints that did that though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn’t get it up and ran out of blue pills

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couldn’t get it up and ran out of blue pills

Nicked my blue pills and still couldn’t get it up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insists on singing random operatic arias as an integral part of foreplay.

Demands a cheer and insists on a round of applause before performing a medley of fifties rockabilly.

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By *r_BlueEyesMan
over a year ago

Manchester

An embarrassing rose related injury

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Now leeged(slightly)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't get his intsy windy blue shorts off.

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By *r_BlueEyesMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Couldn't get his intsy windy blue shorts off."

Farts when she cums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gets the wrong hole and jizzed in seconds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couldn't get his intsy windy blue shorts off.

Farts when she cums "

Causes women to fart when they cum

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Gets the wrong hole and jizzed in seconds."

A cups...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wears a full pirate costume for meets, yells 'shiver me timbers' before cumming and insists on being called 'Cap'n'.

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By *r_BlueEyesMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Spreads salmon paste on his nipples first

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

"Spreads salmon paste on his nipples first "
he had a cock i am not bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spends the first 45 minutes of every meet looking into the bathroom mirror, muttering 'yeah baby' over and over again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My penis couldn't penetrate those buns of steel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He was flirting with the wrong person

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By *r_BlueEyesMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Won't take her cycling shorts off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Uses their 'proficiency' in Morris Dancing as an icebreaker.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Has absolutely no piercings. Disappointed!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can't give a blowjob to save her life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't give a blowjob to save her life!"

Got his dick stuck in jar of sweets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't give a blowjob to save her life!

Got his dick stuck in jar of sweets "

Still looking for his cock in the magnifying glass

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By *hunkyThighsMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Can't give a blowjob to save her life!

Got his dick stuck in jar of sweets

Still looking for his cock in the magnifying glass"

Spends more time concentrating of Tensing his abs to see if he has any

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He’s just too big

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He’s just too big

Too much fur!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His love of bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His love of bollocks "

I’ll need a refresher to confirm or deny the statement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His love of bollocks

I’ll need a refresher to confirm or deny the statement

His need to wear a shirt when having shower sex..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Tough one, maybe she gets headaches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am outside of her age range so that’s crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He forgot how to do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't make me a crap ahah.. Just an unattainable one

cmonn i won't get offended I promise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doesn't make me a crap ahah.. Just an unattainable one

cmonn i won't get offended I promise

She was sending winks on fab during it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He refused to show his bum.

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By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London

No body hair to hold onto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He refused to show his bum."

She didn't take any pics of my bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He refused to show his bum.

She didn't take any pics of my bum "

Course I did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Too stunning to look at, forgot to actually have a jiggy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too stunning to look at, forgot to actually have a jiggy!"

Flirts with other women on fab during sex..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too stunning to look at, forgot to actually have a jiggy!

Flirts with other women on fab during sex.."

Teases but no touching!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Too stunning to look at, forgot to actually have a jiggy!

Flirts with other women on fab during sex..

Teases but no touching!"

Sexually frustrating but no release..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Too stunning to look at, forgot to actually have a jiggy!

Flirts with other women on fab during sex..

Teases but no touching!

Sexually frustrating but no release.."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only gets it up in the very early morning so shit for a lunchtime quicky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only gets it up in the very early morning so shit for a lunchtime quicky "

He tried putting it in my ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has the wrong sort of toys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He has the wrong sort of toys."

Very true. Too many cars

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He leaves the boxers on during sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He leaves the boxers on during sex"

Nothing...he has chocolate balls lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her vagina is only 1 inch deep and guarded by warlocks.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

"He leaves the boxers on during sex

Nothing...he has chocolate balls lol x"

To pretty, would make me cum to quickly. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Her vagina is only 1 inch deep and guarded by warlocks."
he aint me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Her vagina is only 1 inch deep and guarded by warlocks.he aint me

He brought his mum.

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By *ants Horse Hung CockMan
over a year ago

co durham

sloppy seconds from an elf

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