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recycled Jokes, take 17

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By *ushroom7 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Judge : I am sorry Mr Mickey Mouse but i cannot grant you a divorce simply because your wife has buck teeth.

Mickey : FFS judge, i said she was fucking Goofy.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Dave drowned, so for the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebouy, well, its what he would have wanted!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I hope no one puts jokes about obese people on here, i mean, lets face it, these poor people have enough on their plates!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Velcro.... what a rip off!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Mt french teacher got annoyed with me because I didnt know how to say thank you.

I showed no merci.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Just got back from Tescos, where I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said "Are you two an item?"

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

2 budgies on a perch, one says "can you smell fish?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 goldfish in a tank.

1 says "do you know how to drive this thing"

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By *ushroom7 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bradford

The wife came home with her new tattoo, her initails WW tattooed on her arse cheeks.

She bent over so i could have a look.

"WoW"

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By *picyspiregirlCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

Two cannials eating a clown. One says to the other, "does this taste funny?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A European man is on holiday in the UK and decides to go to a brothel. On entry the Madam sits him down fetches him a drink and sends her prettiest girl over too him.

She sits on his knee, they chat, they giggle, they fondle and then he whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and walks away looking horrified.

The Madam is confused by this so she sends over her most experienced girl safe in the knowledge that she's seen and done it all.

She sits on his knee, they chat, they giggle, they fondle and then he whispers in her ear. She immediately slaps him and walks away looking disgusted.

The Madam is now really perplexed so she goes over to her her own services.

She sits on his knee, they chat, they giggle, they fondle and then he whispers in her ear "Can I pay in Euros?"

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Spent the night in the cells last night.

Apparently, when stopped by a WPC and asked, "And how much have you had to drink?" the correctly answer is NOT...

"Not enough to shag you, ugly!"

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