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"The only thing I have ever be certain about in life is wanting children. " Same | |||
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"My daughter passed away at 3 days old and I didn't think I could ever face that again but as I'm getting older the maternal side of me feels like I have love just stored up and I need to give it. I am single though, I don't know if or when I might get that opportunity again so I guess I will know when it happens. " That’s really sad. I’m sorry x | |||
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"I'm glad mine are all grown and gone. They really did cramp my style. " | |||
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"I used to want babies more than anything, but had very unrealistic ideas about what having a baby would be like, mostly fuelled by my mum. I had no friends or relatives with babies so had no idea how hard it would be. I love my kids more than anything and I do my best to ensure they feel loved, but it turns out I'm not very well suited to parenting. The relentless sensory overload everyday leaves me beyond exhausted. If I'd known I was autistic when I was younger I probably wouldn't have chosen to have children as the cost to my mental health has been huge. The poor loves deserve a mum who thrives in the role, not one who is depleted by it. " The fact that you think they deserve better shows that you are a fantastic mum who wants the best for her kids. I applaud you for your honesty and commend you for doing your best. As someone with two young children and relatively good health I struggle to keep up with my kids, feel mentally and physically exhausted at the end of every day and some days dread having to get up the next morning because I feel like I could sleep for a week. But that one smile, hug, kiss from those precious little people makes it all worth while x | |||
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"I used to want babies more than anything, but had very unrealistic ideas about what having a baby would be like, mostly fuelled by my mum. I had no friends or relatives with babies so had no idea how hard it would be. I love my kids more than anything and I do my best to ensure they feel loved, but it turns out I'm not very well suited to parenting. The relentless sensory overload everyday leaves me beyond exhausted. If I'd known I was autistic when I was younger I probably wouldn't have chosen to have children as the cost to my mental health has been huge. The poor loves deserve a mum who thrives in the role, not one who is depleted by it. The fact that you think they deserve better shows that you are a fantastic mum who wants the best for her kids. I applaud you for your honesty and commend you for doing your best. As someone with two young children and relatively good health I struggle to keep up with my kids, feel mentally and physically exhausted at the end of every day and some days dread having to get up the next morning because I feel like I could sleep for a week. But that one smile, hug, kiss from those precious little people makes it all worth while x " Thank you, that means a lot x | |||
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"My daughter passed away at 3 days old and I didn't think I could ever face that again but as I'm getting older the maternal side of me feels like I have love just stored up and I need to give it. I am single though, I don't know if or when I might get that opportunity again so I guess I will know when it happens. " I’m so sorry to hear that, can not imagine what you went through xx | |||
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"I used to want babies more than anything, but had very unrealistic ideas about what having a baby would be like, mostly fuelled by my mum. I had no friends or relatives with babies so had no idea how hard it would be. I love my kids more than anything and I do my best to ensure they feel loved, but it turns out I'm not very well suited to parenting. The relentless sensory overload everyday leaves me beyond exhausted. If I'd known I was autistic when I was younger I probably wouldn't have chosen to have children as the cost to my mental health has been huge. The poor loves deserve a mum who thrives in the role, not one who is depleted by it. " I’ve been a single mum for four years and suffered with depression for about 18 months in, I was always exhausted juggling work and home life and didn’t want to do anything. It got so bad at one point that I was ready to walk away and hand him to his father for good, as I thought it was the best thing for him and the other way I could walk away from my job. Luckily I didn’t do it. My son knew something wasn’t right but just hearing him say “your doing your best right now is enough for me, your still the best mum” kept me going. Just remember you are doing the best you can for them and they love you for it, things will get better. Hugs xx | |||
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"I always knew I wanted lots of kids and was devastated when I found out it would never happen after failed ICSI rounds I just couldn’t do it to myself. I still became a mum as I adopted and it’s the best thing I did. Plus the bonus is she has none of my genes so cannot get the shitty diseases I have. I still had a good life and changed my career when she went to school and retrained to be a social worker and now place lots of kids for adoption so it’s a bit like coming full circle " I adopted too. | |||
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"When I was younger it was, but for a variety of reasons it never worked out. I have mixed feelings, on some of levels I feel sad and I do feel I have missed out but in reality my parents were shit parents and I think I would have been too so it was very probably for the best. Also moving away from my hometown was the best thing that I've ever done and that would never have happened if I'd had kids. I'm too old now, no desire to be the oldest dad at the school gates!" One of my best mates was the child of a 68 year old and a 20 year old. The 20 year old went out with a famous rock star before my mate's dad so was used to money and excitement already. Neither my friend nor his sister have any issues that their dad was already a grandfather when he had them. And they've turned out great. | |||
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"No, I've never wanted children, when I first mentioned this at work, there were faces full of shock and horror, as if because I am female I should have automatically wanted them. " I get that response when I tell people I HAVE got kids. ‘But you’re not very maternal!’. People love to judge. | |||
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"No, I've never wanted children, when I first mentioned this at work, there were faces full of shock and horror, as if because I am female I should have automatically wanted them. I get that response when I tell people I HAVE got kids. ‘But you’re not very maternal!’. People love to judge." I had a, doctor get up in my face once | |||
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"My daughter passed away at 3 days old and I didn't think I could ever face that again but as I'm getting older the maternal side of me feels like I have love just stored up and I need to give it. I am single though, I don't know if or when I might get that opportunity again so I guess I will know when it happens. " My sister has always been maternal, but couldn't have children. She has never been in a relationship, but tried IVF. It failed several times. So she looked into adoption. She is now the proud mumma of an awesome little girl who is 2years old, and on the waiting list for a 2nd. If it something you really want there are means and ways. Sorry to hear your story though. | |||
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"My daughter passed away at 3 days old and I didn't think I could ever face that again but as I'm getting older the maternal side of me feels like I have love just stored up and I need to give it. I am single though, I don't know if or when I might get that opportunity again so I guess I will know when it happens. " I'm so sorry that happened. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been x | |||
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"No, I've never wanted children, when I first mentioned this at work, there were faces full of shock and horror, as if because I am female I should have automatically wanted them. I get that response when I tell people I HAVE got kids. ‘But you’re not very maternal!’. People love to judge. I had a, doctor get up in my face once " Yep. I had a GP at 32 ‘Don’t leave it too late’, a scientific expert in my mid-20s ‘we need more children from people like you’ (at a time when I was nowhere near ready) and clinicians in my late thirties. Why medics and academics think it is any of their business is beyond me. I can’t think of a worse reason to have a child than a half-arsed response to external pressure. | |||
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"I can't, it's too late and I don't want because I can't find anyone to spend my life with to want kids. " to late? Your 27 | |||
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"My daughter passed away at 3 days old and I didn't think I could ever face that again but as I'm getting older the maternal side of me feels like I have love just stored up and I need to give it. I am single though, I don't know if or when I might get that opportunity again so I guess I will know when it happens. " Im so sorry to here that rubi but your only 30. One of my close friends had her one and only child at 45 which is 15 years older than you. An awful lot can happen even in just a year | |||
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"When I was younger it was, but for a variety of reasons it never worked out. I have mixed feelings, on some of levels I feel sad and I do feel I have missed out but in reality my parents were shit parents and I think I would have been too so it was very probably for the best. Also moving away from my hometown was the best thing that I've ever done and that would never have happened if I'd had kids. I'm too old now, no desire to be the oldest dad at the school gates! One of my best mates was the child of a 68 year old and a 20 year old. The 20 year old went out with a famous rock star before my mate's dad so was used to money and excitement already. Neither my friend nor his sister have any issues that their dad was already a grandfather when he had them. And they've turned out great. " And good for thme. I know people a lot older than me can and do have kids but I really couldn't imagine ams certainly don't want to be retiring be free a child turned 18. It really isn't from me | |||
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"Recurrent miscarriages, unexplained secondary infertility, cervical cancer and then more miscarriages and my advancing age mean that the one thing I want more than anything in the world will never happen " Hugs, must be incredibly hard ... | |||
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"No, and I think the societal pressures on women to have them or provide some kind of explanation as to why you don’t have or want them is disgusting" My sister-in-law hates any sort of extended family gathering due to the inevitable questions about when her and my brother will reproduce. The looks of shock, disbelief and even disgust are wearing a little thin. | |||
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"Got the T shirt all that will say is do it with the right partner as I gave not seen mine for 6 years " Have you sought legal advice about changing this situation? I fought through the courts for six and a half years and was given custody of my son nearly 2 years ago. Parental alienation and contact denial is classed as child abuse. | |||
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"No, and I think the societal pressures on women to have them or provide some kind of explanation as to why you don’t have or want them is disgusting" The pressure contributed to my greatest medical trauma, and replays every single time I have women's health issues I just want a healthy womb ffs | |||
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"Got the T shirt all that will say is do it with the right partner as I gave not seen mine for 6 years Have you sought legal advice about changing this situation? I fought through the courts for six and a half years and was given custody of my son nearly 2 years ago. Parental alienation and contact denial is classed as child abuse." Been court 6 times there is no legal reason apart from the mum is a cunt | |||
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"Most important thing in my life and most rewarding feeling of the love between you and your children, i have a son who is 25 and wanted another (secretly a girl) and got “bogof” offer twin girls who are now 14 love them to bits " That's wonderful! | |||
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